And It's Not Easy To Be Me

I’m Noah Devin, a twenty-one year old English education major at NYU. I moved to New York in 2014, but I grew up in Bell Canyon, California. I guess I'm just trying to see what kind of life I can make for myself in New York.

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

davidxwebster‌:

David didn’t even want to think of his own parents, but he could always try to survive when someone else did. “Sounds like one… big happy family. If I may ask, do you ever get run over by other football players?” No, he was never dishonest, and this kid didn’t exactly look full of muscles and whatnot. Oh, well, it wasn’t his problem anyway. “I am, you’ll see.”

Noah shrugged softly, “That’s exactly what they hope everyone things it sounds like.” he said before shaking his head, “They mean well, they really do. I always took it better then my sister though.” he added before blushing a little, “I mean ... sometimes. But I have a lot of experience with soccer, and I am pretty fast so ... that always seemed to help.”

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clicksintoplace‌:

Chris went to the gym only when he needed a sparring partner to work off aggravation. He’d picked up some rudimentary aikido from a friend who worked as an instructor before joining the navy. It taught him how to handle a fight in close quarters, along with the fact that metal walls exceptionally hard and hurt quite a bit when you missed a swing and smacked a limb into them. The skills came in handy for his ‘side job’ in the city, both as self defense and beating up someone when needed. He usually preferred to run on his own, but when he looked out the window to see rain, he’d decided against it, not feeling ready to dig his rain coat out of storage.

The gym wasn’t overly crowded when he strode through the door. He smiled and waved when he saw a familiar face, but Noah didn’t seem to notice so Chris simply made his way to the back corner where mats were laid out. He took a seat on a nearby bench and began to wrap his left hand, idly watching everyone else as he worked from memory. The pressure helped keep the tremors from getting too violent, holding the muscles in place. His eyes widened when he saw Noah waver before keeling over to land on the floor and he abandoned his task. “Noah!” Chris dashed across the gym, narrowly avoiding a few collisions in his hurry. He knelt beside Noah and touched his neck, trying to check his pulse. “Can you hear me?”

By the time Noah was blinking back to awareness, there was a familiar face leaning over him and he bit back a touch of panic. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Deep down, he knew that this kind of thing was a sign that he was losing control and he didn’t like it at all. But he also really didn’t want Chris knowing there was anything wrong. “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine. I’m sorry.” he said quickly, moving to try to sit up. “I guess I just ... pushed myself too far.” he said, admitting the truth in a round about way.

He took in a careful breath, hoping to steady himself. “Just ... school stuff. And, ah, life stuff, you know? I get so wrapped up in it that I guess I forget sometimes that man cannot live on coffee alone.” he attempted to joke, sending a week smile over to Chris.

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chvndlcr‌:

Chandler leaned back in his seat as he listened to Noah and resisted the urge to shake his head. He understood this wasn’t Noah’s favorite topic, the same way Chandler didn’t care to talk about his problems with self-harm….but Chandler wasn’t in denial. He knew he had a problem, he just didn’t know how to fix it. “Do you?” He asked bluntly, not believing for a second that Noah understood what he was doing. “Your fridge was pretty much empty when I moved in and I’ve never seen you eat.” 

Noah looked down, shifting awkwardly in his seat. “Maybe I just don’t like people watching me eat.” he said a little defensively. It was true, certainly, even if he didn’t want to fully dig into the reasons why. “And I just ... needed to go to the store, I got caught up with school. There’s usually some stuff in there.” he defended. He *did* eat, maybe not as much as people seemed to think was needed, but he did. He was just very selective about it. He liked being very selective about it. It was a challenge, and it was almost like a private little game. Something nobody else could control. 

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chvndlcr‌:

“You’ve broken both your arms since I came back from Minnesota,” Chandler pointed out, then took a sip of his coffee. “And yeah, sure, maybe you’re just extremely unlucky. But…” He sighed, knowing Noah wasn’t going to like what he said next. But he could only put it so delicately. “Being underweight - which you are - can make bones weaken. There’s issues with being malnourished and hormones.” The hormone he had read about was specific to women with eating disorders, but he also read that men with anorexia were at a very high risk of osteoporosis. 

Noah frowned at those words, “Yeah, but ... it’s not like a just tripped over thin air and broke them.” he said, trying to rationalize it, half to himself. “I mean, a beam fell on my shoulder in the fire, and I just ... took a bad fall during the game.” he repeated. He looked away, taking a sip of his coffee before using his free hand to fidget with the edge of his shirt. He hated when this came up. “It’s not that serious. It’s not. I’ve got things under control.”

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chanoah texts

Chan: When Julian came back, I assumed I was hallucinating.

[a couple minutes later]

Chan: Even if I don't charge more, I have to limit clients going into the holiday season. I'm fucking exhausted.

Noah: But you weren't, which is the important thing.

Noah: Yeah. This might be the most hypocritical thing I've ever said, but you really do need a break.

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alex-buchanan‌:

Alex looked over at Noah’s sling and then back to his face, “That doesn’t look too good, how’d it happen?” he asked, frowning a little before pointing to the chair at the same table as Noah, “May I?” he asked, seeing that no other tables at the shop were available right now.

Noah frowned before shrugging with his good shoulder. “Soccer.” he explained, “I, ah, I took a pretty bad fall in the game Saturday.” he added before nodding, “Yeah, it’s not a problem.” he continued when Alex asked if he could sit. “It’s just a broken wrist, looks worse then it is because of where the break was, apparently. That’s why I have this ridiculous cast.”

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chvndlcr‌:

“Yeah, I burned it on the stove.” He agreed, not mentioning the Madison part of it. They’d never talked much about that situation, and now wasn’t the best time to bring it up. Although, Chandler was sure Noah would love the distraction from his own problems. He frowned a little as Noah continued talking, but part of him figured Noah probably didn’t realize this injury may have been caused by his eating disorder. While Chandler waited for Noah, he had read up on it. “You know there’s no cure for bone loss, right?” He asked bluntly. 

Noah nodded carefully, wondering if there might be more of a story there from how Chandler reacted, but also not thinking it was really the time to ask. At his roommate’s sudden blunt words, he frowned. “What do you mean?” he said, unsure of where exactly Chandler was going with this. Bone loss was something that happened when you were in your sixties or seventies, wasn’t it? He didn’t think that question made much sense.

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chanoah texts

Chan: Linwood-stable is still pretty nuts

Chan: Well thank you. I'll think about it

Noah: You're not crazy.

Noah: You should, I think you can do it.

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davidxwebster‌:

“Is that right,” he said, speculating how a body like that could survive on the football field. “I’d say being a teacher surpasses physical talent.” That was his opinion, anyway - not at all indulged in sports in any way except working out. “It’s all shambles, nothing ever works out the way you plan - rather just keep going than fall further into a quagmire”

Noah nodded, “Yeah. My parent’s were ... pretty big on trying to get us involved in a little bit of everything. They put me in a few different sports but, well, soccer was what I was good at, what I kept up.” he explained carefully. Of course he’d had other talents, he had always been very good at piano though he really didn’t like performing, and he missed the horses in Bell Canyon more then he ever let on. There weren’t many chances for horseback riding in Manhattan. Soccer just happened to be the main thing he could keep up - until now. At the other man’s words he sighed, giving a small smile. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. That does seem to be how everything works.”

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saradevin‌:

As soon as she heard the news, Sara was on her way to the hospital to see Noah. She didn’t remember him to be a clumsy person but also, soccer could be pretty dangerous too when it was a good game. Jogging through the crowd of people at the entrance, she finally spotted her brother, who inevitably looked upset. “Noah…” she said sadly, obviously he minded that he wasn’t be able to play even if he said the team wouldn’t need him. “That’s not true. You’re a good player,” she assured him, sitting at the empty seat next to his. “What did the doctor say? Any chance of it healing soon?” she asked, thought even as she asked she knew the answer to be no. He seemed so…fragile that at this point it looked like it could take even longer to heal.

Noah looked up as he heard his sister’s voice, doing his best to give her a small smile. He shrugged with his good shoulder at her words. “Maybe. But I was never going play professionally, they can handle it without me.” he said, trying to be rational about things, to not let himself be too upset about it. It wasn’t like being upset was going to fix it anyway. “No, ah, they said eight weeks probably. Past the end of the season.” he added softly. “I’ll be alright though. It will heal, and, I mean, I knew I was done playing after this season anyway. This is ... just a little sooner then I planned.”

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

chanoah texts

Chan: Because only crazy people work three jobs.

Chan: That's nice but I'm not that good haha

Chan: Still might see about making more money though :)

Noah: I thought you were the stable one?

Noah: I think you're good, and it's definitely worth a shot.

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

chanoah texts

Chan: but I want to sleep!

Chan: I'm just worried that me having this many people is a fluke and next month nobody will want to hire me.

Chan: You think people would pay more for my photography?

Noah: I don't think most classes are designed with students working three jobs in mind. Especially not at NYU.

Noah: I don't think so, I think people are just figuring out that you are really good.

Noah: I think they would.

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chanoah texts

Chan: The better question is why do I have homework

Chan: Well I don't always have many clients with the photography thing, I've just been really lucky lately. And then I have the bookstore job because that's more steady income. And then Taylor stopped working at the garage and Uncle Roman's needed any help he can get so I kinda started working there too

Chan: I might have to start turning clients away because I'm getting burned out.

Noah: Well, mostly cause papers and things are really important in college and it's hard to do those in class.

Noah: Maybe set a limit on your clients? Only take a certain number a month?

Noah: If you start seeming 'elusive' you might even be able to charge more.

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

chvndlcr‌:

Chandler looked at his right palm. All things considered, it hadn’t scarred badly at all and he was grateful for that, but it was still easy to see. He faced his old injury towards Noah. “I fucked up my right hand this time last year. And I had classes. It was a nightmare.” He admitted. “You’re right,” Chandler said about soccer being a hard sport to break a spine in. “But it’s a lot easier when your bones are weak.”

Noah frowned a little as he looked at the scar, he had noticed it before but assumed it was a cooking injury and hadn’t thought about it being that severe. “I’ve seen it, I thought you just burned it cooking. I guess I didn’t think about it being that big of a deal. I bet it really did suck though.” he agreed. He sighed as Chandler continued, “I don’t know what you mean. Look, it’s ... this stuff happens. It might not be as dangerous as other sports, but it’s a still a contact sport.”

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

chanoah texts

Chan: It was an accident! I like keeping busy but nobody needs three jobs and homework.

Noah: Why do you even have three jobs?

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chvndlcr‌:

“Well, at least it’s your left arm this time. Not having your dominant hand is the worst.“ Chandler thought back to the aftermath of a fight with Madison, which left his right hand burned and useless for weeks. Chandler took a drink of his coffee as Noah said it wasn’t that bad. “You’re right. It could have been your spine or your neck.”

Noah nodded, “Definitely, that sucked. The only good part was that at least I didn’t have summer classes.” he confirmed. Taking notes with his left hand would not have been a pleasant experience. “I mean, I think both would be harder to do in soccer. It’s not quite as aggressive as hockey or football.” he said, shrugging with his good arm as he tried to figure out where Chandler was going with this.

[mrnoahjeffery-archive]

chanoah texts

Chan: That makes one of us

Chan: I haven't had alone time in three days :(

Noah: And I thought I was supposed to be the workaholic.