I sit here in front of my computer, wearing my grey, hooded fleece Onesie (which I wore to take The Fab4 to their bus stops and to school- yes, I sure did. Unashamedly and unapologetically Lol! I stayed in the Truck though, so stop shaking your head! Lol) But as I sit here, with the blinds still closed, there is so much on my mind and even more so on my heart. Writing is my therapy, my BFF, my outlet, my mirrorā¦ and at a time such as this- all of the above and then some is needed.
My heart is heavy. This is something that is not unusual for me though because of the way I am wired- the way God decided to make me. I feel thingsā¦ deeply. I feel people- without wanting to sometimes- deeply. And every so often, I am privileged to feel Godās heartā¦ deeply. All of it is overwhelming sometimes- heck, who am I kidding- 99% of the times itās overwhelming. But, my apologies, back to what I was saying.
I have been and still am trying to understand what is needed to bring about a greater awareness of the importance of the soul of a person even past salvation. Iāve been in the church for a good portion of my life- since I was 10. I gave my life to Jesus, was baptized, & filled with His Spirit when I was 12 years old. I have seen, experienced, and taken note of a lot of things. Over the years Iāve even tried to rationalize some things as to not end up feeling some kind a way about them. But here I amā¦ sitting in front of my computerā¦ feeling some kind of way.
Why does it always seem to take something drastic to happen before attention is given? Why does someone have to ābreakā before their cry for help is heard? Why? Why are we, as Christians, seemingly so quick to provide pat, clichĆ©-ic words to those who are honestly and sincerely looking for help? Why do we do this?
Iāve seen this, been on the receiving end, and unfortunately been the one to do this in the pastā¦ until years ago, I was in my late teens... I happened to look into the eyes of a person and really saw the pain and despair in their eyes. From that moment on, my mind changed and I began to question things. I realized that it was my own discomfort with the reality of being human that caused me to adopt, without doubt or question, the formula and lingo for āencouragingā someone. I had an incorrect ideology that Christians are victorious (which we definitely are) and that was that! We should be able to just confess some scriptures (which we definitely should) pull ourselves up by the boot straps, get to work, and be faithful unto death!! *pounding chest*
But itās not always that simple.
The same underlying mindset reigns today. I am not downing any of that. I understand its place (at least I think I doā¦ I want to).
When does the soul of a person matter beyond the gifts they possess? When does the soul of an individual matter outside of the anointing that graces them? What will it take before we really hear and respond to the soulās cry of the brokenā¦ Christian? Will it be after they ābreakā? Or will it be after they end it all?
Because then it will be too late.
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