summary: strictly inspired by jacob's look in this scene omg. he looks so sexy BUT actual summary... the night before your wedding, you see your ex for the first time in years and suddenly the ring on your finger feels a lot heavier. one drunken fight and one morning in his bed later, jacob decides he’s done letting his mate belong to someone else.
warnings: semi smutty vibes, wedding angst, cheating-ish behavior, emotional infidelity, alcohol, possessive mate bond, toxic exes, crying, slapping, jealousy, messy yearning, suggestive scenes, sexual sexual tension, jacob being down bad and not normal about you.
the night before your wedding was supposed to feel special.
magical, maybe.
at least that’s what everyone kept telling you.
your mother had wanted forks because she thought it would be romantic. a backyard wedding under string lights in the town you grew up in, something intimate and full circle. your fiancé loved the idea too because of course he did. he loved everything your mother said. he loved the pretty version of your life, the one with family photos and people crying softly during vows. he wanted the romance without the drama of it all.
but forks didn’t feel romantic to you.
it felt haunted by a love story you had tried so hard to forget with a man you loved more than anything, and that man… wasn’t your fiancé. it was a man you had forced yourself to hate.
jacob black.
even his name felt unfair.
it still lived somewhere under your ribs, tucked between all the things you pretended not to want anymore.
and you had pretended.
god, you had pretended so well.
you smiled through cake tastings and you held your fiancé’s hand when people looked, even let your mother talk about seating charts like you weren’t slowly disappearing under all that white lace and expectation.
the ring was beautiful too.
that was the worst part.
a big, glittering diamond that had made everyone gasp when he opened the box. and you had gasped too because that was what you were supposed to do. because his parents were standing there. because your mother had her hands pressed to her mouth. because saying no in front of all those hopeful faces felt crueler than saying yes and hating yourself later.
so you said yes and waited for happiness to follow.
it never did.
because when you looked down at the man kneeling in front of you, smiling like he had just handed you forever, all you could think was that he wasn’t jacob.
and maybe that made you awful.
maybe you were horrible for letting a kind man love you while your heart still belonged to someone who had left you.
but jacob black had never really left you either.
not in the way that mattered and you hated him for that.
hated him for leaving, hated him for calling it protection, hated him for deciding that loving you meant ripping himself out of your life before you got a say in it.
he had been so scared of hurting you.
so scared of the wolf under his skin, of the heat in his blood, of all the what ifs and maybes and terrible things that might happen if he stayed too close to the girl his whole body had chosen.
his mate.
as if leaving didn’t hurt worse.
as if ripping himself away from the one person the stars had designed to be his wasn’t its own kind of violence.
as if he hadn’t put himself in danger too.
because jacob could pretend all he wanted that distance meant safety, but you knew better.
a wolf without its mate was not safer.
just lonelier, hungrier and half-mad with all the love it had nowhere to put.
you tried not to think about that too much though. that was easier when you weren’t home. easier when forks was just a name on a map and jacob was just some old ache you kept buried under work and wedding plans and a man who kissed your forehead like he thought that was enough.
but being back home made pretending harder.
especially tonight.
your bachelorette party had started loud and glittery, your girls laughing around you in a little bar that felt too familiar despite the decorations they had forced you to wear. a tiny veil clipped in your hair. a white dress too short for the weather. your engagement ring catching every light like it wanted attention you didn’t know how to give it.
shot after shot.
toast after toast.
everyone kept saying your fiancé’s name like it was supposed to make your heart do something.
it didn’t.
nothing did.
not when your friends squealed about tomorrow or when your mother texted you pictures of the decorated backyard. hell, not even when your fiancé sent you some sweet message about how excited he was to marry you.
you stared at his words until they blurred.
then you drank again.
because the truth was ugly and terrible and sitting right there in your chest.
you didn’t love him, not the way you should.
not the way you had loved jacob and maybe you would never love anyone again if it wasn’t jacob standing beside you.
that thought almost made you laugh.
or cry.
you weren’t sure anymore.
then, like the devil himself wanted to make your life so much worse, you felt it. it was there.
you felt him before you saw him.
that pull deep in your chest. that awful, familiar tug like some invisible thread had been yanked hard enough to make you look up.
and then you saw him.
across the bar.
jacob black stood near the back like he had only come in for a second and immediately regretted it. he was broader than you remembered, darker under the soft bar lights, his hair shorter, jaw sharper. older. not by much but enough to make your stomach twist.
his eyes were already on you and there it was.
that look.
the one you had spent years trying to forget.
he looked as if he was starving and you were standing there belonging to another man.
for a second neither of you moved.
music thumped somewhere behind you. your friends laughed too loud. someone bumped your shoulder and apologized but you barely felt it. jacob looked as in love with you as the first day he saw you and then, like reality hit him, he took in every piece of you.
the veil in your hair.
the tight white dress clinging to your body.
your hand.
the ring.
he knew about your engagement but hearing it and seeing proof in person was two very different things.
his jaw flexed once, an angry look flashing through his dark eyes, and then he looked away. he said something to the guy beside him and started for the door.
leaving again.
something snapped inside you so fast it almost scared you.
anger grew in your chest because that was all jacob black ever did.
he left.
and liquid courage made you slide through the crowd, ignoring your friend calling after you.
the cold air outside hit you all at once, damp and sharp, making you realize exactly how warm the alcohol had made your face. the parking lot was slick from rain, little droplets still pitter pattering onto the floor.
jacob was already halfway to his car.
“jacob!”
for a moment you wondered if he’d even stop for you.
but he did.
his shoulders tensed, his muscles practically busting through his white top before he even turned around like your voice hurt him.
slowly, he looked back. he looked pained by the sight of you, like just being this close to him made something in him revert back to the way he yearned for you like you had always been his. he cleared his throat, looking away from you too quickly.
“go back inside,” he said.
he was far too breathless and it made something in you cling to the sound of his voice.
but then you were angry once more.
you laughed, shaking your head as you stepped toward him. your heels clicked unevenly against the wet pavement, one hand pulling down the side of your dress like that would somehow make this less humiliating.
“that’s it?”
he couldn’t even bear to look at you it seemed, and that almost made you even more angry. his jaw clenched as he shoved his hands into his pockets.
“you’re drunk.” he says it like it’s obvious.
“tipsy,” you correct him like it actually matters, but you were just petty and upset that the man you loved couldn’t even face you.
“go inside.” he says it with that tone that reminds you of how it used to be, the one he used to use to get you to listen when you were upset or being reckless. low, steady, almost gentle beneath the command.
once, it might’ve worked.
once, you might’ve softened just from hearing it but this time you didn’t care.
this time you wanted him to be hurt too. you wanted him to feel even a fraction of what you felt all those nights you laid awake missing him, wondering how someone could love you so much and still leave so cleanly.
“woooooow jake. not even congratulations?”
jacob’s eyes finally flicker back to yours once he hears the terribly petty tone in your voice, he looks long enough that he can really examine your face. your pretty eyes glossed over, your makeup slightly messed up from the night, your lips parted around all that anger you were pretending wasn’t heartbreak.
and you still looked perfect.
perfect in a way that made his chest cave in from being this close to his mate and doing nothing about it.
his body knew you before his mind could protect him from it.
it knew the sound of your breathing, the little uneven hitch in it when you were trying not to cry. it knew the smell of your perfume under the alcohol and rain. it knew the way your pulse jumped in your throat when his eyes stayed on you too long.
and everything in him wanted to go to you.
to pull you into him and take you out of the cold and away from that ring and away from every person waiting inside who thought they had any right to celebrate you marrying someone else.
his hands curled tighter inside his pockets, fingers digging into his palms hard enough to hurt.
he needed it to hurt.
needed something to focus on besides the instinct ripping through him, besides the ache of standing close enough to touch you and choosing not to.
because that was the punishment, wasn’t it?
not losing you once but having you right in front of him and still forcing himself to act like he had any control.
his eyes dropped down to your ring once more.
something twisted in him at the sight of it, something wolfish and ancient and mean. it made his breathing shift, made the heat under his skin flare like his body was rejecting the idea entirely.
someone else’s ring.
someone else’s promise.
on his mate’s hand.
“y/n.”
“c’mon jake, congratulate me on my marriage.” your tone was far too cruel, rubbing salt in a wound you both knew was wide open and jacob looked at you with that dark look in his brown eyes.
“congratulations.” his voice sounded like it had been dragged from somewhere deep in his chest and scraped raw on the way out.
he tells himself to leave but he can’t move.
not when everything about you is calling to him.
you don’t know what answer you wanted but you wanted something else. for him to fight and scream for you. for him to be selfish for once.
you stare at him for a second, your smile faltering before you force it back into place. meaner this time. prettier in the cruelest way.
“that’s it?”
“what else do you want me to say?” his voice is practically a growl, rough and tired and almost angry, like he had been holding it in from the second you followed him outside.
you laugh softly, stepping closer even though you know you shouldn’t. even though the closer you get the worse he looks, like every inch between you disappearing is taking something from him.
“i don’t know,” you say, voice wobbling under all that fake sweetness. “maybe tell me i’ll be happy. tell me he’s good for me. tell me he’s my soulmate.”
jacob’s body stiffened at that like the word itself had gone through him clean and mean, sliding between his ribs and twisting where it knew it would hurt most.
his jaw locked, shoulders pulling tight, every part of him going still except for the hard rise and fall of his chest.
soulmate.
you had no idea how cruel that was.
or maybe you did.
maybe some wounded part of you wanted to drag the truth out of him by force, wanted to make him admit what he had spent so long swallowing down like it wasn’t killing him.
but he doesn’t say anything.
his silence is answer enough and you hate him for it. hate the way he stands there looking like your wedding is killing him while still refusing to do anything about it.
“nothing?” you laugh, but it comes out broken. “seriously?”
the words die off at the end, sounding almost like a plea no matter how hard you try to hide it beneath all that anger. jacob hears it too, you know he does, but he can’t bring himself to say anything.
not when he’s too busy fighting every instinct in his body telling him to run to you, to pull you into his arms, to hold you like you were still his.
like you had always been his.
his jaw clenches so tight it looks painful.
then finally he speaks, and for one stupid, terrible second, you think he’ll say what you want to hear.
“go back inside,” he says, voice rough. “call your fiancé to come pick you up.”
the sentence hits you like a slap.
he turns away from you and something cracks inside your chest so sharply you almost feel it physically. like your body had been waiting for him to reach for you and instead he had chosen to leave again.
again.
you don’t even think before moving after him.
your heels click harshly against the pavement as you chase him toward his car, anger rushing up so fast it makes your hands shake.
“no.”
jacob keeps walking.
“no, don’t you walk away from me.”
he reaches for his car door and you shove him hard in the back.
his body doesn’t move from the force of it, not even an inch, but he stops like being touched by you had caught him off guard more than any strength ever could. his shoulders go rigid, one hand still resting near the handle, breath caught somewhere in his throat.
“tell me,” you demand, voice shaking now. “tell me he’s the one. tell me i’m supposed to marry him tomorrow. tell me i didn’t just spend years loving someone who was too scared to love me back properly.”
jacob doesn’t turn around right away and somehow that silence is worse than anything he could’ve said.
you shove him again, weaker this time but angrier because of it, your palm hitting the solid warmth of his back.
“say it.”
his head lowers slightly.
“don’t do this.”
“say it, jacob.”
“y/n.” his voice doing something to you that felt more damaging than it should’ve been.
“no.” your voice cracks, tears burning hot in your eyes now. “don’t say my name like you love me.”
that does it.
he turns so fast you almost stumble back, but you refuse to. you stand there in front of him, breathing hard, mascara wet at your lashes, wedding veil slipping crookedly in your hair like some cruel joke.
jacob looks at you and for a second all the anger drains from his face. just pain, raw and open like his heart ever since he had left you.
“i hate you.” the words come through before you could stop them. it didn’t matter if it was true. it only mattered if it hurt him.
he doesn’t react.
he just shakes his head.
“yeah?” he asks, voice low wiping his hand over his face like he was trying to ground himself, your hands shook at your sides as you swallow hard. “yes.”
for a second, nothing happens.
rain slides down the side of his face. the music from inside the bar hums through the walls, muffled and distant, like the rest of the world has decided to leave you both alone with this.
jacob’s eyes move over your face slowly.
your wet lashes, your trembling mouth. the beauty marks on your skin he remembered even in his dreams and the anger you’re holding onto like it’s the only thing keeping you upright.
and somehow that makes him look even more hurt like he sees the lie and loves you anyway.
“i love you.”
the words are quiet. there’s no dramatics or begging just spoken plain and devastating and completely unfair.
you freeze.
your heart does something awful in your chest, something too close to relief, and you hate him for it instantly. hate him for saying it now and you hate him for standing there with all that love in his eyes after leaving you alone with yours for so long.
your hand moves before you think.
the slap cracks through the cold air.
jacob’s head turns slightly with it.
barely.
your palm stings immediately, sharp and hot, but he doesn’t touch his face, doesn’t step back, doesn’t even look surprised like he knew your moves before you did them but makes no move to stop them.
he takes your pain and he lets you take it out on him and that only makes you more upset.
you wouldn’t feel this way if he just stopped.
if he just pushed you away.
if he just gave you something cruel enough to make this easier.
you hit him again.
“i hate you, i hate you.”
you can’t stop hitting him. your palms strike against his chest, his shoulder, anywhere you can reach, but he barely moves. he just stands there, jaw tight, breathing harder now, letting every hit land like he thinks he deserves it.
“y/n.”
his voice is low, rough, almost pleading.
“i hate you.”
you hit him harder and harder, but the words are breaking apart now, losing all their meaning as your throat tightens around them.
“i hate you.”
your anger turns into sobs before you can stop it.
ugly, shaking sobs that rip through you too fast to hide. your hits get weaker, more desperate than cruel now, your hands barely pushing at him like you don’t know whether you want him gone or closer.
jacob’s face twists like watching you fall apart is the one thing he can’t take.
he grabs your wrists gently, stopping the next hit before it can land, and the second his hands close around you, all the strength leaves your body at once.
you collapse against him.
you just fold into him like your body had been waiting for permission to stop fighting.
jacob catches you immediately.
of course he does. he knows you without even trying to.
his arms wrap around you, one hand at the back of your head, the other locked around your waist like he’s afraid the ground might try to take you from him too. his whole body shakes with how tightly he holds himself back, with how badly he wants to keep you there and how much he thinks he shouldn’t.
“i hate you,” you whisper again into his chest, but it doesn’t sound like hatred anymore.
it sounds like grief.
jacob closes his eyes, his chin lowering toward your hair.
“i…,” he breathes. “i know”
and that makes you cry harder because he does know.
he knows you don’t mean it. he knows you’re angry because loving him still hurts. he knows you came outside hoping he would take one look at you and ruin everything before you had to admit you wanted him to.
his hand smooths over your hair once, careful and shaking.
“i’m sorry,” he says, voice breaking quietly against the rain. “i’m so sorry.”
you clutch at his shirt like you hate yourself for needing him, like you hate him for still being the only place your body knows how to fall apart.
“you left me,” you sob and jacob’s arms tighten around you.
“i know.”
“you left me.” your sobs broke something in him he didn’t know how to fix and he hated himself for staying away from you.
“i know, baby.”
the nickname breaks something fresh in you.
you pull back just enough to look at him, mascara wet beneath your eyes, hair disheveled, lips trembling around all the things you still can’t say.
jacob looks wrecked completely. every second of holding you is saving him and destroying him at the same time. your scent is everywhere now, caught in the rain, buried under perfume and champagne and heartbreak, and it draws him in so violently that for a moment he forgets every reason he ever had to stay away from you.
because you were here.
in his arms, shaking and crying and looking at him like he had ruined you and maybe he had.
maybe leaving you had not protected you at all.
maybe it had only taught you how to break quietly.
his grip tightens around your waist before he realizes he’s doing it, something desperate flashing through his chest.
he doesn’t want you to go.
the thought comes too fast.
too honest.
he can’t let you go.
not back inside, not back to your friends, not back to that ring, not back to a wedding that was starting to feel more like a punishment than a promise.
“y/n,” he says softly, but your eyes aren’t focusing right anymore.
you blink up at him like you’re trying to hold onto his face, like if you look away he might disappear again.
“please don’t let me go,” you whisper, so faint he almost thinks he imagined it.
jacob’s face crumples.
“i’m not,” he says immediately, voice rough. “baby, i’m right here.”
but everything is suddenly too much.
the rain, the alcohol, the crying.
the ache in your chest that has been building for years with nowhere to go.
your fingers loosen in his shirt first and then your knees give.
jacob catches you before you can even fall.
panic slices through him, sharp and immediate, every wolf instinct in him snapping awake at once. “hey,” he says quickly, one arm sliding beneath your knees while the other supports your back. “hey, no, no, look at me.”
but your head has already fallen against his shoulder, lashes fluttering shut, body going heavy in his arms.
for one horrible second he can’t breathe.
then he hears it.
your heartbeat.
loud and too fast, but there.
his own chest shakes with the relief of it “you scared me,” he whispers, but there’s no anger in it.
only fear.
only love.
only the awful realization that even after all this time, he still holds you like you belong there.
he looks toward the bar door once, toward the sound of your friends laughing inside, toward the whole life waiting to take you back thhen down at you again.
your face tucked into his chest like your body knew the truth even when your mouth kept trying to deny it.
jacob swallows hard.
“i’ve got you,” he murmurs, more to himself than to you.
then he turns away from the bar completely, carrying you away like you were some injured animal he needed to take care of...
you woke up in jacob black’s bed with your head pounding and your dress still clinging wrong to your body.
for a second you didn’t move.
you just stared at the ceiling, blinking slowly at the wooden beams above you while your mind tried to place itself somewhere that made sense. your bridal suite maybe, your own room. anywhere that didn’t smell like old cotton and rain and jacob.
but no.
jacob’s room.
his bed, his sheets tangled around your legs that reminded you of when you used to be tangled up with him in this very bed.
his scent.
god, it was everywhere.
in the pillow under your cheek, in the blanket pulled up over your waist, everywhere in this room. it was warm and earthy and familiar in a way that made your chest ache before you even remembered why you should be angry.
then it came back.
the bar. the rain. his face when you said you hated him. your hand across his cheek.
you sobbing into his chest like some pathetic heartbroken girl who had never moved on a day in her life.
you shut your eyes immediately.
nope. absolutely not.
maybe if you pretended hard enough, you could erase the whole thing. maybe you could wake up surrounded by your bridesmaids and your mother’s perfume and someone yelling about hair appointments.
but when you opened your eyes again, your veil was folded on his dresser.
carefully like he had taken it out of your hair and couldn’t bring himself to just throw it somewhere as if even the stupid little veil mattered because it had touched you.
there was water on the nightstand. two little pills. your phone facedown beside them, probably full of missed calls and messages you didn’t want to look at.
your wedding was today.
your wedding was today and you were waking up in your ex’s bed.
not even just your ex.
jacob.
your jacob.
the worst and best thing that had ever happened to you.
you pushed yourself up too fast and instantly regretted it, the room tilting enough to make you press a hand to your temple.
“don’t sit up so fast.”
his voice came from the corner, rough in a way that felt far too intimate.
your eyes snapped over to him.
jacob was sitting in the chair near the window, elbows on his knees, hands clasped together like he had spent hours trying to pray himself into being decent and failed. his eyes were dark under the morning light, tired but not distant. not like last night when he kept trying to look away.
this morning he looked right at you like he had already lost the battle sometime before sunrise. maybe, he had spent the whole night sitting there with your scent in his room and finally admitted to himself that he was not strong enough to hand you back.
“how long have you been awake?” you asked, voice still hoarse from crying.
his gaze moved over you slowly.
your messy hair.
your bare face that he has carefully cleaned of all the makeup off and the wrinkled dress that had slid up your thighs and next to your thighs laid your hand…
the ring.
he looked pained at the sight of it, but his eyes came back to your face almost immediately, like looking at the ring too long would make him do something stupid.
“didn’t really sleep,” he said.
you swallowed. “why?”
for a second he looked like he might say something normal, something safe because that was what jacob did. he swallowed the ugliest parts of himself and tried to hand you the kinder version.
but then his eyes dragged over the bed. over the dent your body had left in his sheets. over the blanket still tucked around you.
his voice came out quieter.
“because you were here.”
your breath caught, which was stupid. horrible even.
you looked away fast, kicking the blanket off your legs like movement could save you from whatever was starting to happen in your chest.
“stop.”
“stop what?”
“don’t say things like that.”
jacob let out a small breath, almost a laugh, except there was no humor in it. just exhaustion. just want. just a man who had spent too long starving and was now staring at the one thing he was never supposed to touch again.
“you passed out in my arms after telling me not to leave.” he states it as if it’s reason for the way he’s being and perhaps, it is. you had admitted the truth in a drunken rage and today, you felt embarrassed for it.
your face burned hot.
“i was drunk.”
“you were honest.”
your eyes snapped back to his. “don’t do that either.”
he stood then, slowly and god, it made the room feel tiny.
jacob was too big in the morning light, too warm, too real. his shirt clung slightly to his shoulders, hair a mess like he had dragged his hands through it all night. he toward effortlessly just like you had remembered. he looked wrecked and beautiful and furious with himself for still wanting you this badly.
you hated that you liked that, that you liked him and his stupid face, hated that even hungover, even humiliated, even wearing another man’s ring, some awful part of you still wanted to crawl back into his chest and stay there.
the worst part was that your body didn’t care that you were angry.
it didn’t care about the wedding or the ring or the fact that your phone kept lighting up with another man’s name.
the second jacob got close, something in you softened.
not emotionally but physically like the universe didn’t truly care for the technicalities of human emotion, only that you two were tied together for life like it was written in the stars, like you’d forever be his even when you were away. mates.
your breathing slowed before you told it to. your shoulders dropped. the panic in your chest loosened like it recognized him as shelter even when your mind still wanted to call him ruin.
his eyes darkened slightly, not smug, not triumphant, just hurt in this awful hungry way because your body was telling him the truth your mouth kept refusing to say.
“i need to go,” you said quickly but his face didn’t change.
that scared you more than if it had.
“go where?” his head tilted down at you crossing his arms over his chest. you laughed once, sharp and empty, because of course he was going to make you say it.
“to my wedding, jacob.”
there it was, the words that sat between you like a dead animal no one wanted to touch.
jacob looked at your hand again.
the ring, the ring didn’t impress him, if anything he felt the large diamond looked tacky and nothing of your style. how could you go to a wedding with a man you didn’t even love when his heart was spread open for you right here just like you wanted him to?
his jaw clenched but he didn’t look away this time.
“then call someone.”
you blinked thrown off by his words that had no emotion dancing behind them. “what?”
“call. someone.” he repeated more stern this time walking around to your side of the bed, his heavy footsteps intimidating you in a way you didn’t wanna admit. “your mom. one of your friends. him.”
him.
the word came out like it tasted bad. your stomach dropped anyway because you both knew exactly why you couldn’t.
you couldn’t call your mother from jacob black’s room the morning of your wedding. couldn’t ask your bridesmaids to pick you up hungover in yesterday’s white dress from your ex’s house. couldn’t call your fiancé and listen to his voice go quiet when he asked where you were.
jacob knew that.
that was why he said it.
not because he wanted you gone but because he knew you had nowhere to run that wouldn’t expose the truth. your jaw tightened. “that’s low.”
his eyes stayed on yours as if he was challenging you. he looked down at you, his eyes scanning over your body in a way that made you feel hot.
“yeah.”
no apology.
nothing.
and that made your chest twist because this wasn’t noble jacob anymore. this wasn’t the boy who left because he thought hurting himself meant saving you.
this was jacob after a whole night of sitting three feet away from you, breathing you in, watching you sleep in his bed like you belonged there, trying and failing to convince himself that morning meant he had to give you back.
“you’re being stupid,” you whispered.
“i’m being honest.”
“you want me trapped here?”
his expression changed, it turned into something much hotter, hungrier like a wolve with a fresh piece of meat and for a moment he seemed to even ponder on the idea.
“no,” he said quietly. “i want you to admit you don’t want to leave.”
your breath caught before you could stop it.
jacob leaned down placing his hand on the sheet right beside your thigh, his knuckle brushing it as he leaned over you, his broad shoulders blocking the sun from your face.
the air warmed immediately, like his body had its own gravity and yours was stupid enough to answer it.
“because if you wanted to go,” he continued, voice rougher now, “you’d already be calling someone. you’d be angry, sure. you’d yell at me and cry and tell them i was some mistake you made when you were drunk.” you hated the way he sounded so certain because it was true, deep inside your chest you knew you were coming up with as many excuses you could think of but the truth felt tol harsh… too real coming from him.
“stop.”
“if you loved him, you’d call him,” jacob ignored you. “you’d let him come get you and be your understanding fiancé. you’d let him see you like this and explain why you spent the night here.”
your lips parted but nothing came out because the thought alone made you sick.
not because of shame but because of truth.
because you didn’t want your fiancé coming here. you didn’t want him in jacob’s doorway, looking at you in jacob’s room, touching your arm, calling you baby in a house that smelled like the only man who had ever made that word mean anything.
jacob saw it on your face.
his eyes softened for half a second, then hardened again like he couldn’t afford softness if softness meant letting you walk away. he hummed when you couldn’t come up with an answer, his face inches from yours as he smiled “but you’re not gonna call him.”
you looked away, you couldn’t focus with those eyes staring into your soul like he knew you more than you knew yourself, like he knew your thoughts before you even thought of them.
jacob tried to step back.
he really did.
but the space between you felt wrong the second he made it, like his body had been built with some invisible tether wrapped around his ribs, one that pulled tighter every time he pretended distance was a choice.
you were right there. upset, yes
but his.
and every instinct in him hated the idea of letting you walk out of this room into someone else’s arms.
he raised the hand that wasn’t holding him up to brush your hair off yours shoulder, his fingers brushing so softly up against the side of your neck that it almost made you shiver but he was gentle still giving you room to stop him.
you didn’t.
“you know how i spent last night?” he asked quietly, the tone of his voice bringing something warm and hot into your body. he was hot, not just his looks but his voice, his voice that drew you in and practically stripped you naked in front of him.
jacob made you easy, easy in a way that made your thighs clench together in a way to hide the way he was making you feel. your chest rose and fell too fast. “jacob…”
“sitting in that chair,” he said, nodding toward it without looking away from you. “watching you sleep in my bed, listening to you breathe, trying to tell myself i was still gonna do the right thing in the morning.” his voice dropped lower, rougher, like the words were scraping him open. “trying to convince myself i could drive you back to him.” he grabbed your chin finally making you look at him again, forcing you to meet the very eyes that were on the verge of getting you to throw everything away.
you swallowed hard. “and?” you tried to sound strong but your voice died off at the end. jacob smiled a little like he was pleased with the way he was making you feel but also beautiful and terrifying because it looked like surrender.
“and then i realized i was done lying.”
he was close enough now that you could feel the heat of him against the cold morning air. his lips not close enough to touch yours, but close enough that your skin seemed to notice anyway.
“i left you once already,” he said, “i said to myself it was for you. I told myself you’d be safer. happier.” His eyes dragged over your face, your beautiful eyes, your trembling mouth, the dress wrinkled around your body like proof that ‘safe’ had not saved you.
“look how that turned out.” he sounded cruel, cruel enough that you almost felt yourself cowering away from his words that were reading you like a book.
your eyes burned instantly. “that’s not fair.”
his thumb caressed your cheek for a moment his eyes brushing over your lips before licking his own like he could remember your taste without even actually kissing you. “no,” he said. “it’s not.”
he didn’t sound sorry.
jacob black had spent all night with you in his room and whatever self-sacrificing thing lived inside him had finally starved to death. you could see it in his face. he wasn’t trying to be better than his want anymore.
he wanted you, badly so badly it made him look almost sick with it. he looked like he was physically hurting at the thought of being away feom you again so much so that he told himself he’d never let it happen again.
never let you be without him once more. his eyes dragged back uo to meet yours.
“you think i’m gonna let you leave before i even get a chance to have you?” he asked softly and you didn’t know what to do or say but you felt something in your chest tight further, you tried to look away, tried to fight the urge of wanting him way too badly for a girl who was having a wedding today but he made you look at him.
his eyes flicked to your ring again and something possessive crossed his face before he dragged his gaze back to yours.
“i spent years staying away from you,” he continued. “years telling myself loving you meant letting you go. and then you came back to me anyway like a sign from the universe that i made a mistake.”
you shook your head, but it was weak “i shouldn’t have followed you… i was drunk.” you tried to reason with yourself more than him, like you hadn’t just wanted jacob while having a man was waiting for you at the altar.
“you were mine.”
silence, your body practically locked around the words.
jacob felt you, you could tell. the way his jaw tightened, the way his eyes darkened like some part of him wanted to apologize for saying it and another part would rather die first.
he didn’t take it back.
“you were crying into my shirt,” he said, softer now but somehow worse. “wearing that ring and still holding onto me like i was the only thing keeping you standing.” his words felt too true, so true it almost hurt and you couldn’t help the tears forming in your eyes, the liquid courage all gone. all you felt like was a girl who severely misses the man she was in love with, the man she told herseld she erased from her life. “don’t.”
“why?” his voices soft, almost gentle, almost cruel as he leaned in letting his nose brush against yours, letting himseld bask kn the very scent he had missed so deeply “because you remember?”
you did.
god, you did.
you remembered the rain. his arms. His voice broke when he called you baby. Your whole body gave up the second he held you like it was waiting years to stop pretending.
“i have to go,” you whispered. it sounded pathetic, even to you. jacob looked at you for a long moment then shook his head once.
slow.
almost sad with something possessive dancing beneath it. “no, you don’t.” you tried to fight, everything in your body telling you this was wrong, you had people waiting for you and here you were with jacob black. the man who broke you but you yearned for so badly.
“you don’t get to decide that.”
“i’m telling you what you already know.”
and that was the problem, you did know.
you knew it in the way your body leaned toward him even as your mouth kept trying to build walls. you knew it in the way your fingers curled into his sheets like they belonged to you. you knew it in the way his room felt more like yours than the bridal suite waiting for you across town.
jacob stared at you like the truth had finally stopped wearing its leash. your heart beat faster you knew he heard it too because his eyes closed for half a second, like the sound had physically touched him. like your body betraying you was almost too much for him to stand.
this was too intimate and far oo close.
too dangerous for a girl who was supposed to be getting married in a few hours. you tried to tell yourself that. tried to gather all the reasons why this was wrong, why you should push him away, why you should stand up and grab your phone and leave his room before you destroyed every safe thing waiting for you outside of it.
but your body didn’t move.
you just sat there in his bed, your dress wrinkled around your thighs, your lips parted around a breath you couldn’t quite finish, watching jacob look at you like he had been hungry for years and you were the first real thing he had seen since.
and then you didn’t know what came over you.
or maybe you did, maybe it was just the part of you that had been waiting to stop pretending.
your hand lifted before your pride could stop it, fingers catching the front of his shirt and pulling him down to you.
jacob barely had time to breathe your name before your mouth was on his.
and god, it was over after that.
the second he kissed you back, everything awful and aching inside you cracked open at once. he made this low, wounded sound against your mouth, like kissing you hurt him and healed him in the same breath, and that only made you pull him down onto you.
his hand hit the mattress beside your head, holding himself above you like he was still trying to remember restraint even while completely losing it. his other hand stayed to your face, warm fingers spreading along your cheek, careful in a way that almost made you cry because even now, even like this, jacob still touched you like you mattered more than his own want.
but he wanted.
he wanted you so badly.
you could feel it in the way his breath shook, in the way his mouth moved against yours like he had thought about this too many nights to count, in the way his whole body leaned toward you like staying away had been the real sickness all along.
you touched him, one hand gripping his shirt, the other sliding up his shoulder, pulling him closer, because apparently your body had no loyalty to your panic. your body remembered him. The heat of him, the shape of him, the way kissing jacob black had always felt like coming home and making a terrible decision at the same time.
jacob kissed you like he had been starving for years and finally found the only thing that could feed him. like every night he spent away from you had built itself into this one moment and now he didn’t know how to be gentle with all that longing except to hold your face like you might vanish if he didn’t.
you loved him, you loved him so much it was humiliating, you loved him in your bones. in your blood, in every stupid part of you that had tried to build a life around the hole he left behind.
and for a second, one dizzy, breathless second, you forgot the ring.
forgot the wedding.
forgot everyone waiting for you.
it was just jacob over you, his hand in your hair, his body pressed against yours, his mouth moving against yours like he was trying to make up for every year he hadn’t been allowed to.
the phone buzzed.
both of you froze.
the sound was small, stupidly small, but it cut through the room anyway. your eyes opened first, your breath still caught somewhere against his mouth, fingers still twisted in the front of his shirt like you had any right to hold onto him this way.
jacob didn’t move away.
that was the worst part.
his forehead stayed pressed to yours, breathing uneven, lips still close enough that one wrong thought could turn into another kiss. his hand was still buried in your hair, the other braced against the bed beside you like he had to hold himself there or he would fall completely into you.
the phone buzzed again.
your fiancé’s name lit up the screen.
and the whole room went cold.
reality had such ugly timing.
you swallowed hard, your fingers slowly loosening from jacob’s shirt even though every part of you hated the loss before it even happened. “i have to go.”
jacob’s whole body went still, not like he was angry but more like you had just hurt him somewhere too deep to react properly.
“please,” he said.
one word.
your breath caught because it didn’t sound like a command. it sounded like a plea he hated himself for making because he was the reason there was this big space between you.
“jacob…”
“don’t go,” he said again, and this time his voice broke around it just enough to ruin you. “please, i’m sorry.” he buries his face into your neck whimpering like a kicked dog “i won’t leave again, ever again please, please.”
you closed your eyes immediately, like not looking at him could somehow make the pull weaker. it didn’t. if anything, it made it worse because now all you could feel was him. the heat of him over you. the shake in his breath. the way he clinged to your body like even begging, even desperate, he still didn’t know how to touch you without being careful.
“i have to,” you whispered, but it sounded fake.
even to you.
jacob shook his head, his nose brushing against the side of your neck with the movement, and god, that alone almost ended you. “no, you don’t.”
“people are waiting.” you tried to reason with yourself but he only held your body tightly against his like if he held you tight enough you wouldn’t slip away.
“please, don’t.”
“jacob, honey.”
“no.” his voice roughened, not mean, just raw as he finally lifted his head from you“don’t say my name like that and then tell me you’re leaving.”
your eyes opened then.
mistake.
he was right there, eyes dark and wet-looking and hungry in a way that wasn’t just want. it was worse than want. it was years of starving finally standing in front of the only thing that could save him and being told he still had to give it back.
you could feel it.
that was the terrifying part.
not just his hands or his breath or the warmth of his body over yours. you could feel the ache in him like it had reached through the bond and pressed itself under your ribs. the panic. the need. the way the wolf in him had gone quiet for the first time in years because you were here, because you were close, because your body still remembered where it belonged.
and your own body answered.
traitor.
your hand slipped back up his chest before you could stop it, palm resting over his heart. it was beating too fast like it was trying to crawl out of him and into you.
jacob looked down at your hand.
“you feel that?” he whispered.
you didn’t answer.
because you did.
you felt all of it, the bond, the pull, the desperate need he had for you and only you, the stupid, impossible truth that no wedding dress, no ring, no safe man waiting across town could make your body forget him.
the phone buzzed again.
you flinched.
jacob’s hand tightened slightly in your hair, not pulling, just holding you there for one more second, like the sound physically hurt him.
“tell me you want to go,” he said, voice low. “say it like you mean it and i’ll move.”
your lips parted.
nothing came out.
his eyes dropped to your mouth and the air changed immediately. warmer. heavier. dangerous in that quiet way that made your stomach twist.
“say it,” he whispered.
you tried.
you really did.
but his mouth was still too close and your hand was still on his chest and the whole room smelled like him and you were so tired. tired of pretending safe felt like love. tired of wearing a ring that felt wrong. tired of acting like jacob black wasn’t the name your whole body had been trying to say for years.
“i have to go,” you whispered again.
jacob’s eyes softened painfully.
“that’s not what i asked.”
your throat tightened because he was right.
it wasn’t.
you had to go.
but you didn’t want to and that difference was destroying you.
his forehead dropped back to yours, his breath shaking. “come here,” he whispered, like you weren’t already close enough to ruin each other.
“i’m right here.”
“closer.”
it came out like a plea, so needy, so unlike the careful boy who had spent years trying to do the right thing, that your heart cracked straight open.
you pulled him down again.
not fully thinking.
not fully caring.
just needing the ache to stop for one second.
jacob kissed you like he had been waiting for permission to fall apart, like the first kiss had only made the hunger worse, like every part of him was trying to say don’t go against your mouth because he couldn’t survive saying it again.
and you kissed him back like a girl who knew she was ruining everything. this time you let his hands drift lower, his large hands beginning to explore every part of you he had missed like he was trying to get familiar with the body that was once his.
his hand cupped your breast through your thin top as he finally pulled away from your lips to press his lips against your jaw humming at the taste of your skin like it was the sweetest thing in the world. “i missed you so much.” he sounds far too needy for you as he begins sucking on your neck and you tried to form words but you couldn’t with the way he was so distracting.
he kissed down your neck, each kiss rougher than the last, like he was fighting back the hungry part of himself that yearned for you like air. every press of his mouth felt like another warning being ignored, another line blurring beneath the heat of him.
you slid your hand through his hair, trying to ground yourself on something, anything, but your touch only made a low sound tear from his chest
then he froze when the diamond from your ring tugged lightly at his hair.
not hard.
not painful.
just enough.
just enough to remind him there was a world outside this room where that ring meant something. where people were waiting for you to walk down an aisle. where another man thought he had some claim over the girl lying breathless beneath jacob black like she hadn’t just kissed him back like she needed him to survive.
jacob raised his head slowly, breathing hard, his eyes dropping stopping on your face to take in the moment of you before he thought about the ring once more,
his jaw tightened instantly.
you stared up at him breathless and aching for him in ways that were hard to explain, lips parted, eyes soft and ruined like you hated yourself for wanting him this badly and still wanted him anyway.
jacob reached for your hand carefully.
too carefully.
like he was trying to prove he still had control even while his eyes said something entirely different.
his fingers wrapped around yours and pulled your hand from his hair, holding it between you. for a second neither of you said anything. you just watched him stare at the ring like it had personally hurt him, like the little diamond had been mocking him all morning from your finger.
then he pressed a soft kiss onto your fingertips as his thumb brushed over the ring once gently, your breath caught in your chest
his eyes flicked up to yours, searching your face for something. permission maybe. forgiveness. a reason to stop. you gave him none.
you just stayed still.
and maybe that was the permission.
his throat bobbed once before his fingers moved to the ring. he didn’t yank it off, didn’t make some big dramatic thing of it. he just touched it carefully, almost reverently, like even hating it didn’t mean he could be careless with something that had been on your hand.
you should’ve pulled away, you should’ve curled your fingers into a fist, you should’ve said something sharp and ugly about how it wasn’t his place.
but you didn’t because all you saw was jacob, all you felt was jake and how suddenly nothing else in your life mattered when he was there.
so you let him slide it off.
the metal dragged over your skin, and somehow that tiny movement felt louder than every argument you’d had since last night. louder than the phone. louder than your mother’s backyard waiting with white chairs and flowers. louder than the life you were supposed to step back into.
the ring came free.
jacob held it in his palm for a second, staring down at it like he couldn’t believe it was really there, like he couldn’t believe you had let him take it.
your finger felt bare but in a way that felt painfully right.
your eyes burned at the thought, jacob looked back at you then, and something in his face broke open.
nothing petty dancing underneath it just love. wrecked, terrified love.
the kind that knew this didn’t fix anything. the kind that knew there were still people waiting for you, still calls unanswered, still a wedding sitting somewhere in town like a storm about to hit.
but for one second none of that mattered as he intertwined your fingers with his staring down at you like you were just some perfect angel.
for one second, the only thing that mattered was your bare hand in his.
jacob forced himself to move apart from you to set the ring down on the nightstand carefully like a choice neither of you were ready to say out loud yet.
“stay with me,” he whispered.
your breath caught.
he lowered himself back down to you slowly, careful even now, his body covering yours like some warm blanket, like if he could keep you close enough the world wouldn’t be able to reach in and take you back.
his forehead brushed yours.
“be mine,” he breathed, voice rough and almost broken. “even if it’s just for today.”
your eyes burned instantly.
“jacob…”
his hand slid into your hair, not pulling, just holding you there like you were something he had spent too long losing.
“let me keep you,” he whispered. “just for right now. just until we figure out how to breathe again.”
and there was a part of you screaming for you to get up.
screaming about your mother’s backyard and your unanswered phone and the man waiting for you somewhere in town with no idea that the whole life he thought he was marrying into had already started falling apart.
but the part of you that loved jacob had always been louder.
always.
even when you hated him.
even when you tried to bury it under white dresses and safe promises and a ring that had never once felt like yours.
so you didn’t deny him.
you lifted your hands to his face instead, pulling him back down to you with something too desperate to be gentle, and jacob came willingly, like he had been waiting years for your hands to choose him again.
the kiss was rougher this time. full of everything that neither of you knew how to say without breaking. Love and grief and relief and the awful pain of finally touching what you both spent too long pretending you could live without.
jacob made a sound against your mouth, low and ruined, and you held him tighter.
because for today, for this second, for this stolen little piece of morning before the whole world came looking
you were his.
and he was yours.
and neither of you were strong enough to pretend otherwise anymore.
a/n: this definitely took me longer than it should’ve ! but i hope you liked it! please tell me what you think below and pls like and reblog if you’d like! thank you sm for reading.
'always looking over my shoulder cause i don't ever wanna miss you'
pairing(s): sophia laforteza x fem!idol!reader
summary: sophia spent her whole life believing in soulmates. then hxg put katseye on tour with their biggest girl group and suddenly she’s sneaking through hotel hallways at 2am just to see the shy girl with sad eyes her company keeps trying to pull away from her. inspired by everlasting love by fifth harmony.
warning(s): alluded company mistreatment, forbidden romance vibes, toxic management, some angst and some fluff and sophia being deeply in love while management is forcing the two of you apart.
sophia had believed in soulmates before she even knew what love actually was.
when she was little she used to write about it constantly in the cheap glitter journals her mom bought her from dollar stores. pages and pages about the person she was supposed to meet one day. her prince. the kind of love that she used to think she'd know when it happened.
and maybe that's why meeting you felt so terrifying.
because she knew instantly.
it happened backstage at some hxg event, loud and crowded and suffocating with stylists rushing around and cameras flashing every few seconds. sophia barely even remembered why she'd turned around in the first place but then there you were standing quietly behind your members while staff members fixed your outfits.
pretty, too pretty honestly but it wasn’t just that it was that look on your face that was shy and careful like you were trying not to be seen despite the fact everyone around you was orbiting your group like planets around a sun. your group was hxg’s biggest success, the kind of popularity that made executives obsess over every little thing you did but somehow you looked lonely standing in the middle of all that attention.
then your eyes met hers for barely a second and sophia swore something in her chest physically shifted.
after that she started noticing things everywhere. the way your members spoke over you during interviews, the way you apologized too much, the way staff members grabbed your wrist too harshly when cameras weren’t looking.
and how exhausted you always looked by the end of schedules.
fans thought you were shy because you were quiet during interviews but sophia realized quickly that you weren’t naturally quiet, you were nervous not of the fame but of the punishment you’d get if you were even slightly out of line from the perfect girl group outline.
sophia wanted to talk to you and the worst part was you clearly wanted to talk to her too which became a problem very quickly once hxg decided your group would join parts of katseye’s tour for “company exposure.” that’s what the executives called it anyway.
really it just meant endless schedules together, shared rehearsal spaces, shared flights, award shows, festival appearances to promote your tour.
interviews where both groups sat side by side pretending not to notice each other too much while fans online lost their minds over every glance.
it became impossible to avoid each other.
not that sophia wanted to.
every event became unbearable after that because somehow you always ended up near her. standing beside her backstage while managers yelled directions. brushing shoulders in crowded hallways. sitting two chairs away during interviews pretending not to stare at each other while cameras rolled.
one time sophia caught you already looking at her first before you quickly glanced away.
that ruined her entire week.
it became a pattern after that.
little things.
passing notes through makeup artists. soft ‘hi’s while brushing past her and then it escalated to shared headphones during rehearsals when nobody was paying attention, soft conversations hidden behind equipment cases backstage while staff searched for both of you, sneaking into each other’s dressing rooms late at night during tour stops just to sit together in silence for twenty minutes before getting dragged away again.
sophia learned quickly that you smiled differently when you forgot to be nervous. it wasn’t the perfect practiced one it was real and so cute and so silly and once she learned how to pull that smile out of you she became addicted to it.
you made it hard not to be.
because beneath all that carefulness you were sweet in this painfully genuine way that made sophia’s chest ache. you remembered tiny details about her, always asking if she'd eaten yet or texting her good luck before performances even when you had your own schedules to worry about.
sometimes sophia caught herself staring at you during interviews completely zoned out while you talked quietly beside your members.
completely entranced by you completely and it scared her because she’d spent her whole life dreaming about soulmates like it was some childish fantasy she’d eventually outgrow except now she was sneaking through hotel hallways after midnight just to see a pretty girl’s smile for five minutes before security noticed you were both gone and somehow it felt more real than anything else ever had.
the only problem was hxg. they loved your group far too much.
you were their golden project, their perfect girls, their biggest money maker and because of that your image was monitored obsessively. all your friendships got controlled, schedules got controlled even interviews got controlled and in turn you got controlled.
especially once fans online started noticing you and sophia constantly ending up near each other. the rumors and shipping started immediately.
fans making edits of you, think pieces of how you two had to be in love. katseye’s management mostly laughed it off. yours didn’t.
the first time sophia saw one of your managers physically pull you away from her backstage something genuinely violent bloomed in her chest.
you looked embarrassed after, apologizing quietly like it was somehow your fault. “they just worry about scandals,” you whispered softly. sophia wanted to scream because this wasn’t right instead she grabbed your hand behind the building where nobody could see and held it tightly between both of hers. your soft hand was clammy like you were nervous even being here “you know this isn’t normal, right?” she asked quietly.
you just looked down and somehow that hurt worse because sophia realized then nobody had probably ever told you that before, nobody had ever looked at you gently enough to make you question the way you were being treated after that sophia couldn’t let it go anymore.
she started finding excuses to be around you constantly, showing up early to rehearsals because she knew your group practiced before theirs, waiting outside music show stages longer than she needed to just to walk beside you afterward, dragging interviews out just to keep talking to you in the hallway after cameras stopped rolling.
she wanted to protect you in a way that felt almost consuming like if she loved you hard enough maybe she'd finally convince you that you deserved softness too.
and maybe that was the craziest part because sophia had spent her entire childhood dreaming about some soulmate written in the stars but loving you didn’t feel celestial.
it felt human.
desperate and terrifying.
like wanting to pull someone out of a burning building with your bare hands even if it destroyed you too. she wanted you to be okay, she wanted you just you, without the management and the rules but she knew with all the contracts, all the people around you stopping this blooming relationship.
she didn’t know what to do but for now she’d settle for hidden whispers and sneaking into hotel rooms.
a/n: thank you so much for reading and for your time! i hope you loved and please please tell me what u think, like or reblog as well thank you!!!
pairing(s): jacob black x fem!reader, slight mention of bella swan x jacob black
summary: short fic where bella swan realizes jacob isn’t orbiting her anymore and she soon finds out you’re the reason why.
warning(s): reader is a rich girl and a little bit of the spoiled type, bella lwk has bi-panic, obviously not fully canon to the og storyline #thisismyworldnow and unedited work.
a/n: this idea formed while watching new moon, i hope you like it and thank you for your time if you do read <3
bella couldn’t place where exactly things between her and jacob changed. that was the worst part.
there wasn’t one big moment she could point to, no dramatic fight or heartbreaking goodbye. it felt smaller than that. quieter.
like one day jacob was there the way he’d always been, warm and loud and impossibly devoted to her in ways she’d stopped questioning a long time ago and then suddenly… he wasn’t.
he left for the summer almost out of nowhere.
some small town a few hours away that bella barely remembered the name of because at the time she hadn’t really thought it mattered. jacob had always been restless in this boyish sort of way, always talking about wanting to leave forks for a little while, wanting to see something bigger than rainy roads and broken trucks.
so bella hadn’t looked too deeply into it.
she remembered standing outside his house while he threw bags into the backseat of his truck, smiling at her like he always did.
“you’re seriously leaving me here alone with the vampires?” she teased lightly. jacob laughed instantly. “you’ll survive a few months without me, bells.”
and maybe that should’ve felt strange.
the way he said it.
because usually jacob acted like the idea of being away from her for even a few days physically pained him. usually he looked at her like she was the center of every room he walked into.
but bella had been distracted then.
edward had come back.
and whenever edward came back into her life, everything else blurred around the edges.
including jacob.
at first she barely noticed the distance growing between them because it happened in pieces too small to catch immediately.
his texts stopped coming first.
bella would send him something in the afternoon and not hear back until midnight. phone calls became shorter. quieter. sometimes she’d catch background noise she didn’t recognize behind his voice, laughter and music and once what sounded suspiciously like a girl teasing him about something before he abruptly hung up.
she remembered staring at her phone afterward feeling strangely irritated by it.
which was stupid.
jacob was allowed to have a life outside of her. wasn’t he?
except some ugly selfish part of bella had grown used to jacob revolving around her no matter what happened. no matter how many times she ran back toward edward, jacob always stayed. always waited.
until suddenly he didn’t and by the time bella fully realized it, summer was almost over.
their friendship had turned awkward somehow. conversations that once came naturally now had gaps inside them neither of them knew how to fill anymore.
then jacob came home.
except even that felt wrong immediately.
bella remembered pulling into la push after almost three weeks without seeing him, expecting things to settle back into place the second she did.
instead she found him distracted. he felt different yet still the same but there was something calmer about him now, something less desperate. the constant pull he used to have toward her had dimmed into something quieter and bella hated how quickly she noticed it.
he smiled when he saw her but it didn’t light him up anymore and for some reason that bothered her far more than it should’ve.
after that things only got stranger.
jacob started disappearing randomly again. sometimes bella wouldn’t hear from him for days at a time and when she did, he always sounded busy.
happy.
that part unsettled her most.
because jacob used to tell her everything. every stupid thought that crossed his mind, every little thing that happened during his day now it felt like entire pieces of his life were happening somewhere far away from her.
once bella called him late at night out of habit and he answered on the third ring sounding breathless.
“bella?” he said distractedly.
then softer.
muffled away from the phone.
“baby, hold on.”
baby.
bella remembered going completely still at the word.
her stomach twisted so sharply she almost felt embarrassed by it.
“are you with someone?” she asked before she could stop herself.
there had been silence for a second too long before jacob answered carefully.
“i’m on a skype call on my laptop.” he spat out quickly and then said noththing else.
bella told herself she didn’t care. she absolutely cared and after that, curiosity started rotting at her slowly because jacob never brought the girl up directly. not really. if bella asked vague questions, he’d shrug them off or change the subject entirely but somehow that only made her more irritated.
because why was he hiding her?
and worse.
why did it feel like he was protecting whatever this relationship was from bella specifically?
eventually the distance between them became impossible to ignore entirely. bella noticed it most whenever edward wasn’t around because jacob stopped trying to fill the space.
stopped chasing her attention. stopped looking wounded every time she chose someone else over him.
and maybe that should’ve made things easier.
instead it made bella feel strangely… untethered like something she assumed would always exist suddenly didn’t anymore.
so one rainy afternoon she found herself driving toward jacob’s garage without fully planning to.
she told herself she just missed her best friend. he barely looked at her when he saw her “hey, what’s up?” he asked working on the engine to this car, leaned over under the hood. that made her more annoyed, how could he be so nonchalant? did he even miss her. “you tell me” she sounded bitchy.
she knew she did but it didnt stop her from saying it as she dropped her bag onto one of the old chairs near the wall harder than necessary and the sharpness in her voice made jacob glance back up immediately.
confused.
“what?”
for a second bella just stared at him.
he looked the same.
same broad shoulders hunched over the car. same dark hair falling messily into his face. same grease smudged across his cheekbone from working all afternoon.
but somehow he felt different now.
quieter around her like there were pieces of him she no longer had access to and maybe she was reading too much into it but she couldn’t shake that feeling.
“you’ve been weird,” she finally said.
jacob blinked once before letting out a small breath through his nose, almost amused.
“weird?”
“yes, weird.” bella crossed her arms tightly over her chest. “you disappear for months, barely answer your phone anymore and every conversation feels like i’m interrupting something.”
his expression shifted slightly at that. “bella…”
“no, seriously.” she cut him off quickly before she lost momentum. “did i do something or are you just over being my friend now?” that finally made him stop working entirely.
the wrench clinked softly against the counter as jacob straightened up slowly “i’ve been busy.” the statement only makes her more upset, she ran a hand through her hair huffing at him “busy? with what?” he shrugged “life. i don’t know.” his laugh is dry like he wants to avoid this conversation more than anything but bella won’t let him off easy.
“jacob, you used to tell me everything..” she sounds genuinely hurt when she walks closer to him and for a moment jacob feels guilty. guilty for abandoning the girl that needed him but this girl… she wasn’t his and he had been sick of doing the boyfriend job for a girl who chose someone over him every time. “bella.” he didn’t know what to say “come on, aren’t you tired?”
she looks confused “with what?”
“you know..” he doesn’t wanna say it, because saying it makes it real. makes it final. makes it something he can’t take back. this whole thing between them, this cycle, this thing that kept looping back into itself no matter how many times he tried to step out of it.
him.
her.
edward.
a triangle he never agreed to be in but somehow always ended up standing inside of anyway.
the truth was, jacob had fallen in love and it wasn’t with bella. and it wasn’t complicated anymore the way it used to be in his head, it was just simple now, clean in a way that hurt less than staying tangled in something that never really chose him back.
and that clarity made everything else easier to walk away from.
“i’m not doing this anymore,” he says finally. bella’s face tightens immediately “doing what?”
his jaw clenches slightly, like he’s trying not to make it sound harsher than it already is. his hands flex once at his sides, a small restless movement like his body is already stepping out of the conversation before his feet do.
“all of it.”
a pause.
it hangs there between them, thick and unfinished, like he’s refusing to dress it up into something softer just to make it easier to swallow.
“i’m not waiting around for you anymore, bella.”
the words hit bella far too hard than she expects, like they land in her chest before her mind even catches up. she can feel it immediately, that slow, sinking realization that this isn’t him being emotional, this is him being certain.
she hates the way it sounds decided.
her breath catches slightly, and before she can stop herself she steps closer, placing a soft hand on his chest.
not forceful, not angry, just instinctive like she can still anchor him there if she tries hard enough. her palm presses against the warmth of him like that alone could rewind whatever has already started unraveling between them, like skin-to-skin contact is enough to undo distance.
“jacob…” her voice comes out quieter than she means it to, almost careful now, like she’s afraid of pushing him further away just by speaking too loud.
“you’re my best friend.” jacob almost wished the words sounded true from bella’s mouth like if they felt true he’d feel better about himself and this friendship. it wasn’t even about the romantic aspect anymore, jacob had found love but it was just about the fact that bella didn’t treat him much like a friend when edward was around. like their friendship only existed in spaces where she was lonely.
that’s when he steps back away from her hand, he’s quick to create distance between the two of them like she had some disease “you should go, bella.” he wiped his grease stained hands slowly against the rag hanging from his back pocket, avoiding her eyes for a second because looking directly at her right now just made something ugly twist in his chest.
she blinked at him immediately, hurt flashing across her face too fast to hide. “what?” but her being hurt didn’t hit him the same way it used to; he didn’t run to fix it, protect her because she was no longer his priority, his priority was on her way here and a part of him didn’t want bella to meet his new girlfriend.
bella only stared for a moment.
“my girlfriend’s a little of the jealous type.” he chuckled to himself softly but bella doesn’t find anything comical. maybe because some ugly part of her assumed jacob would always be there waiting. orbiting around her no matter how many times she pulled away from him. she hated herself for hating the idea of him with someone else.
and it’s the way he says it. girlfriend. he says it casually but with this unusual about of love, it was only the idea of what bella imagined she sounded like when she talked about edward. she didn’t know why she felt jealous, maybe because she did love jacob and in her heart she knew she also loved edward. she was just confused and before she was to make that decision within herself jacob already subtracted himself from the situation.
“since when do you have a girlfriend?” bella asked too quickly, pretending not to already know the details he had been fighting to keep to himself every time she had asked but jacob almost shyly shrugged at her like a boy with a crush as his lips curved into a soft smile. “a while.”
a while. bella could only assume he meant months.. months that they hadn’t talked besides awkward texts and ignored phone calls, months of him slowly disappearing while she’d been too wrapped up in edward and her own confusion to notice it happening in real time. suddenly, she felt left out like she was on the outside of a locked door of a room she was desperately fighting to get into.
“you could’ve told me.” she hates how her voice comes out weakly and for the first time jacob looks at her like actually looks at her and suddenly she can see how different he is. still the same jacob but with a different look in his eyes, that very specific light in his eyes that was once reserved for her had gone out. he just looked almost content.
“yeah, i guess i could’ve.” it didn’t sound like he meant it in a bad way but she felt it that way, her jaw tightening at his words because he seemed to have already made peace with the distance between them months ago while she was only now noticing it existed.
she knew she didn’t have a right to feel wronged but it didn’t stop her from feeling it. uncomfortably she crossed her arms over her chest suddenly the room felt too warm, thick with the smell of motor oil and rain drifting in from outside while jacob leaned back against the workbench watching her carefully and for the first time, bella couldn’t read him.
jacob used to look at her like every emotion sat directly on the surface.
now the space between them was too strong and she knew she was at fault for it but a part of her was to prideful to admit it, admit that she had been too busy chasing after edward to see jacob’s distance. “you didn’t think i deserved to know?” his eyebrows furrowed at “it wasn’t like that.” he sputters back quickly.
“then what was it like?” silence fills the area as he struggles to answer for a moment because the truth sounded bad out loud.
because there was no version of this conversation where bella walked away without realizing she had missed something important while she was busy looking somewhere else.
jacob looked down briefly, outside, tires crackled softly against gravel somewhere down the road and Bella caught the smallest change in him instantly. His attention flickered away from her without thinking, subtle but automatic, like part of him was already waiting for someone else. like he could sense his other half arriving.
her. bella comes to that conclusion very quickly once he stands up fully, his whole emotions changing from this awkwardness to nervousness, his hands wiping at the grease stain on his jeans as if it’d disappear if he rubbed hard enough. he suddenly cared about how he looked.
and that hurt bella in a way she wasn’t prepared for because jacob had never been nervous around her.
not like this.
never quietly anticipating someone’s arrival like his entire body recognized them before they even appeared and for a moment bella just watched him the realization settling ugly in her stomach as he began adjusting his clothes to look perfect in his own way.
“jacob?” bella called quietly when he stopped listening halfway through the conversation entirely.
he blinked once like he’d forgotten she was standing there before clearing his throat quickly. “sorry, i just…”
another crunch of gravel echoed closer this time then came the flash of baby pink through the trees.
bella turned instinctively just as the convertible rolled into the driveway smooth and shiny against the dull reservation roads. it looked expensive. out of place, almost like someone had dropped a barbie dreamhouse accessory into the wooden area by accident.
her eyes dragged to jacob when the car came to a halt just to see the jacob’s entire expression changed instantly.
it was subtle but devastating.
his shoulders loosened first then came this unconscious softness around his mouth, his eyes warming in a way bella hadn’t seen directed at herself in a very long time.
the gravel hadn’t even finished settling when you stepped out of the car. you were beautiful, you looked far too expensive for a town like this. your body looked beautifully drawn from an old greek painting and your clothes looked out of an expensive magazine and your face... god, you were just perfect in a way that almost made bella’s heart race.
your car looked far too out of place for the reservation roads, sat there like it didn’t belong and knew it. like it was already offended by the idea of dirt existing. the door shut behind you with a soft, expensive click that felt louder than it should’ve been.
you paused the moment you settled into the gravel, your shiny expensive heels getting dirty with it. you looked down, particularly slowly.
then up again at the wet grass like it had personally wronged you.
“jacob,” you called, already unimpressed, voice carrying that soft bratty edge like you were trying not to be annoyed but failing anyway. “why is everything always… damp here?”
jacob huffed something under his breath that almost passed for a laugh. “it rained.”
“i can see that,” you said immediately, like he’d insulted your intelligence by stating it. you lifted one foot slightly, staring at your shoe with open betrayal. “this is ridiculous.” this time jacob laughed again openly and bella watched him, watched the way jacob moved toward you without thinking.
no hesitation or awkwardness. he was a complete different person than who he was in this whole conversation.
like a switch had been flipped the second you existed in his space. he grabbed your waist softly when your knees wobbled from almost slipping, bella watched the way your manicured nails held onto his bicep and for a second, she didn’t know who to be jealous of. “i told you,” jacob said softly, now closer to you than he had been to bella all afternoon, “don’t wear those here.”
his chuckles were borderline giggles at this point.
you scoffed, but it didn’t land harsh, it sounded more like affection disguised as annoyance. “you didn’t say it like that,” you corrected him, gripping arm immediately like you had every right. like you’d done it a hundred times. “you said it like you were joking.” he was careful the way he guided you into the garage before settling in with you. hardly acknowledging her presence or perhaps in your love you hardly even registered her being there.
jacob didn’t move away, he didn’t even look like the thought crossed his mind and that was the part that made bella’s stomach tighten. she hated how closely she watched jacob lean down to press his lips against your perfectly glossed ones, she felt like a perv for how closely she watched your lips perfectly mesh together like you were meant to fit together. like you had been jacob’s missing piece.
finally, bella cleared her throat and you had to basically push jacob away from you because he kissed you like he was starving for your lips. you finally looked at bella, your eyes scanning her like you were dissecting every piece of her, jacob was careful wiping the smeared lip gloss off his lips “this is-”
“bella” you finished for him with a soft nod at him, you pulled away from him creating the tiniest bit of distance between you and your lover with a soft kind smile that seemed oddly real but with a hint of something else. bella snorts trying not to seem threatened by you but on the inside she was screaming. you were insanely beautiful. “you know me?” she tries to sound strong but the words die off at the end.
“yeah, he talked about you.” jacob was quick to cut in the second he caught the edge in your tone. “y/n,” he scolded softly, the warning gentle more than anything, but you only shrugged one shoulder like you didn’t really care.
“not in a weird way,” you corrected smoothly, glancing at him with a small roll of your eyes like you already knew exactly what he was trying to prevent. then your attention slid back toward bella again. “just… mentioned.”
bella hated that instantly.
mentioned.
like she was some passing story jacob casually brought up between conversations instead of the person who used to take up entire pieces of him. as if she had been reduced down into a few harmless anecdotes told to a pretty girl between kisses and late night phone calls.
“right,” bella answered quietly before the bitterness slipped out anyway. “i’m sure i come up a lot.” she hated how catty she sounded about it and it didn’t help the way jacob’s expression changed instantly.
his shoulders tensed and bella caught the brief flash of exhaustion across his face because he knew her well enough to recognize exactly what she was doing. poking at something just to see if it still hurt.
but you only looked mildly amused by it. if anything, bella’s reaction seemed to confirm something for you.
slowly, you stepped away from jacob then, heels hitting softly against the floor as you moved closer toward bella. far too confident for bella’s liking. the kind that came naturally to girls who had never needed to question whether they were wanted.
up close somehow you looked even prettier, expensive perfume mixing with the smell of the rain in the air while your glossy lips curved slightly at the corners.
“yeah…” you said softly, eyes dragging over bella slowly enough to make her chest tighten. “i expected you to be a lot prettier.”
silence.
bella physically felt the insult settle into her stomach because your tone wasn’t loud or dramatic. if anything, you sounded almost thoughtful about it.
like you were genuinely underwhelmed.
“y/n.” jacob’s voice came out sharper this time, disbelief flashing across his face as he caught your wrist gently and tugged you back against him before you could say anything else.
the movement was automatic.
practiced.
bella noticed that too.
the way your body folded back into his without hesitation, his hand settling against your waist instinctively while you tilted your head up at him with wide innocent eyes that didn’t match the smug little smile threatening your mouth at all.
“what?” you asked sweetly, like you hadn’t just insulted her to her face. “she started it.” but jacob shook his head at you, the two of you practically having an intense conversation with just your eyes. unspoken yet effective from the way you rolled your eyes again but leaned further into him once more.
and suddenly bella became painfully aware of herself standing there in the middle of it all like an outsider interrupting something intimate. there was history here she couldn’t touch, small habits and looks exchanged without thought, conversations happening silently in glances alone.
she didn’t fit into this space anymore.
maybe she hadn’t for a while.
“i’m gonna go,” bella said suddenly, the words coming out quicker than intended as she reached for her bag before either of them could stop her.
jacob looked up immediately. “bella”
“bye bella!” you shouted over him waving “drive safe!” though from the way bella was out of there jacob wasn’t even sure jf you beard.
then the second her truck disappeared past the trees, jacob slumped slightly beside you like the last ten minutes had physically exhausted him.
you looked up at him immediately, unimpressed.
“no more history, my ass.”
jacob let out a tired groan at that, dragging one large hand down his face before covering his eyes completely. “y/n,” he mumbled through his fingers already sounding defeated.
“mmhmm.” you crossed your arms over your chest, one heel tapping against the concrete floor impatiently. “because that looked super over.”
his hand dropped slowly and immediately found your waist again like it belonged there. “it is over,” he promised quickly, voice softer now. “i swear.”
you stared at him for another second then laughed directly in his face. “oh, baby,” you murmured sweetly, reaching up to smooth your fingers lightly through the ends of his hair where the rain had curled it slightly. “i’m not worried about you.”
jacob’s expression softened instantly at the nickname alone, completely gone for you in a way that almost looked embarrassing.
“then what’s the problem?” he asked quietly. you tilted your head slightly toward the driveway bella had disappeared down moments ago, lips curving with something dangerously amused.
“she seems to think it’s still happening.”
jacob blinked once then sighed hard enough to make you laugh again because the worst part was he knew exactly what you meant.
bella hadn’t looked jealous because of history. she looked jealous because she still thought she had a place here.
and maybe once upon a time she did.
but that space was no longer hers to fill, you were here now and honestly, he wouldn’t want it any other way.
a/n: hi! omg thank you so much for reading if you made it here!! i’m very happy you chose my fic and i really would love if you gave me your thoughts in the comments and hearted if you liked the fic! ❤️
are people still reading twilight fics cause im feeling extra ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaaa haaaa yk like i wanna write a jacob black fanfic or even edward likeee idkidk lmk
arkham knight!jason todd stalking robin!reader. it starts off cruel, he isn’t watching to learn but to compare. what was so good about you that bruce replaced him? abandoned him and left him for dead? he’s picking apart every piece of you and finding a way to hate it but truthfully, you made it very hard. you were gorgeous, smart and you didn’t take any bullshit and like jason… you were far too reckless and careless.
why bruce chose you he didn’t understand. you were a decent robin, not better than your predecessors that was for sure. your fighting was messy, your attitude was rough but he had to admit you were a tough cookie. despite all these flaws you were still robin.
you were still his replacement. the obsession grew deeper each passing moment of you alive angered him to no end. it kept him awake at the thought of bruce taking you in while he suffered in that abandoned wing. alfred getting to know you while joker scarred him. dick warming up to you while jason stood awake every moment wishing for death to come sooner.
he wanted you dead and one night he was finally going to do it. scarecrow would crucify for ruining their plan but he needed someone to feel his pain. who else better than the person who got everything that was meant for him. so he snuck into your bedroom, you carelessly had left the door unlocked. your apartment was messy just like your personality. when he creaked your bedroom door open, you lied in your bed. limbs thrown all over the bed, hair a mess. he creeped closer to your bed, heavy boots echoed through the room but you didn’t awake from your sleep.
and finally, he stood over you. he had never seen you this close, a pretty face you had. lips pursed and eyebrows furrowed as you hummed in your sleep. drool slipping from your lips.
his eyes dragged lower before he could stop them. your shirt had ridden up slightly in your sleep exposing bruised skin and the soft curve of your stomach. another scar rested near your hip, thin and pale.
he wondered where you got it, he wondered who touched you enough to know it was there and for some reason the thought made something violent flare inside him.
then for a moment he felt a feeling, a want to protect you. to protect you from gotham, from villains, from bruce and from anyone who looked at you too long.
even from himself.
his jaw tightened hard beneath the helmet the thought making him feel weak... pathetic.
he shook it off as quickly as it came, he pulled out his gun. one bullet and bruce would hurt the way jason. just one bullet..
his finger rested on the trigger but then you moved, not enough to wake just enough to curl tighter into yourself with a tiny exhausted sigh leaving your lips. your face scrunched up unhappily, bruised hand clutching the blanket closer to your chest like you were trying to protect yourself even asleep.
jason stiffened, his hand shaking with his gun. jason stared.
his eyes slowly dragged around your room again. the open medical kit on your desk, the robin mask tossed carelessly beside unfinished homework, the police scanner still muttering quietly in the corner because apparently you couldn’t even sleep without listening for danger.
everything that made you just a little more human in his eyes, just a little more like him... but jason wasn't human anymore. he was a monster in a body of a dead boy.
but you... you were exhausted running yourself into the ground for a city that would never love you back just like he did.
something shifted in his chest then because suddenly killing you felt… wasteful. a girl like you shouldn’t belong to bruce. if he could just.. take you from bruce keep your potential all to himself.
he couldn't let you drown in the waters of gotham not when bruce would eventually ruin you too.
it was inevitable. he ruined dick, ruined jason and now he had his claws buried inside you.
jason lowered the gun slowly.
his gaze lingered on your sleeping face for far too long. you had potential, real potential under all the recklessness and sharp attitude there was something dangerous in you. he’d seen it during patrols. the rage you fought with. the way you ignored batman’s orders when civilians were involved. the way your hands shook after bad nights like you were holding something ugly inside yourself.
bruce would try to tame that.
jason wouldn’t.
a thought settled into his mind then, dark and possessive. maybe you weren’t meant to die, maybe you were meant to understand him.
his hand reached out before he could think better of it, rough gloved fingers brushing a strand of hair from your face. you shifted slightly beneath the touch but didn’t wake.
“poor thing,” he murmured quietly, almost cruelly. “it’s okay… i'm going to help you." a promise whispered in the night air that made goosebumps appear on your skin. a shiver up your spine.
your eyes fluttered open, the cold air blowing in from the window you swore you closed. slowly, sleep still heavy in your body, you sat up scanning your dark room. your apartment sat quiet around you, only the soft static of your police scanner filling the silence.
still, something felt… off.
the feeling of another presence lingered in your chest stubbornly, enough to make your skin prickle like someone had been watching you.
your tired eyes dragged toward the window. curtains swayed softly from the breeze creeping inside and with a groan you rubbed your face, convincing yourself it was just paranoia from your newfound job.
robin didn’t exactly come with peace of mind.
you flopped back against your pillows with a sigh, blanket tugged up over your body once more. your bruised limbs ached pleasantly from patrol and exhaustion pulled at you harder than your instincts did.
so eventually your eyes slipped shut again.
you didn’t notice the deep imprint of heavy tactical boots pressed into your wooden floor and you definitely didn’t notice the figure still standing silently on the fire escape outside your bedroom.
watching, helmet tilted ever so slightly as he stared through the crack in your curtains.
jason should’ve left already. he knew that. instead he stayed rooted there unmoving, eyes fixed on your sleeping form like something possessed. his gloved fingers flexed once at his side, phantom memory of your skin still lingering against them.
his jaw tightened beneath the helmet.
slowly jason stepped backwards into the shadows of the fire escape, disappearing into gotham’s darkness without a sound.
but not before his eyes lingered on you one last time like he was already planning when he’d come back.
imagine smallville!clark (or actually any clark) fucking you in a corn field.
the bonfire was rowdy, people drinking, dancing, kissing. things they weren't supposed to be doing here late at night but it didn't stop them but a few feet away buried in the cornfield something else was amuck.
"baby, please shush." clark's voice is tender, sweet and so raw but it was slightly more hush from the rustling of the leaves. his whole body on top of yours practically covering you like a warm blanket with his dick buried deep in your guts. "i'm trying." you whimpered and you weren't lying, you were truly trying your hardest but with the way he was hitting every spot inside you? it was almost impossible to be quiet. every feeling so intense that you swore you could feel yourself coming out of your body. "you're so big."
he doesn't stop his movements, because he phsyically can't with how good it feels to be inside you. he swore he could do this forever anything to stay inside you but he didn't want anyone to catch you in this vulnerable position because for one; very embarrassing, two; very illegal.
another loud moans rips through your throat before you can stop it and clark is quick, his large hand covers your mouth and god, that only made everything so much hotter "i know baby, i know." he whispered softly as your moans were now muffled by his large hand, every thrust from him bringing you closer to the edge and you're sure he's close because his thrust became more messy and rough. burying himself inside you with every move, filling you with pure ecstasy. you swore this must've been what getting high felt like …
pairing(s): daniela avanzini x latina!reader, manon bannerman x latina!reader, katseye x latina!reader
summary: a lil fanfic where hxg shoves u out of katseye for being “too hard to market” beside daniela ripping apart the growing love triangle between you, manon and daniela only leading to more drama…
warning(s): angst, unresolved yearning, kpop industry toxicity, love triangle, manon & daniela both being painfully in love with reader, doesn’t strictly follow irl events of actual katseye events so sorry if it doesn’t follow irl and unedited work !
a/n: it’s been awhile since i wrote a fanfic and i’ve had katseye fever so i hope you like it and it might be a little rushed but i just had to write!!
after the sis era, things started changing quietly.
not all at once.
at first it was just little things, your lines getting shortened during recordings, your center moments disappearing in choreography revisions, stylists pushing different aesthetics onto you while daniela avanzini’s became more polished, more intentional. executives started hovering around her more, pulling her aside after rehearsals, speaking to her in lowered whispers while you sat across the room pretending not to notice.
you did notice.
so did the girls.
especially manon bannerman.
she noticed the way your smile became tighter during interviews, the way you started asking “is this okay?” before every little thing like you were scared to take up too much space. she noticed how often you stayed behind in practice rooms afterward, dancing until your knees hurt like if you just worked harder they’d stop pulling away from you.
and she noticed daniela noticing too.
that was the problem with the three of you.
too much love sitting in places it shouldn’t.
because before everything got ugly, before executives and contracts and “marketability” conversations poisoned it all, the three of you had been inseparable.
hotel rooms filled with late night laughter, daniela curled against your side while manon laid across both of you dramatically complaining about rehearsal bruises.
“you guys are actually obsessed with me,” you laughed once while manon stole fries off your plate.
“well somebody has to be,” daniela teased softly, and the look she gave you after remained too long to be harmless.
shared headphones during flights, your fingers absentmindedly tracing shapes onto daniela’s arm while manon rested her head in your lap half asleep. the girls used to tease you constantly.
“y/n come get your wives” megan would say anytime daniela and manon fought over who got to sit beside you. lara whining whenever the three of you disappeared together after schedules because she already knew she’d lose you for hours.
and you loved them both differently. that was the intense part.
manon got the softer version of you, lazy smiles meant only for her, kisses pressed onto her cheek before performances, your body naturally finding hers in crowded rooms.
daniela got the quieter things. the lingering stares. the tension. the almosts.
because despite everything, execs constantly pinned you and daniela against each other like there was only room for one latina girl to thrive in the spotlight. every compliment toward you somehow became an insult toward her, every opportunity she got made you wonder what had quietly been taken from you to make room for it.
it poisoned things slowly.
not enough to make you stop loving daniela, never enough for that, but enough to make being around her complicated in ways neither of you knew how to fix.
because with daniela, there was always this invisible scoreboard dangling in between you both.
who got more lines, who got center, whose fancam performed better, whose face executives lit up more around.
you hated it.
daniela hated it more.
manon was different.
manon wasn’t competition.
she was just manon, warm and loud and easy to love, someone who never looked at you like there was something to win from you. being with her felt safe in a way nothing else did anymore.
so you gravitated toward her naturally.
everyone noticed.
especially daniela.
during interviews, your knee would knock against manon’s beneath the table while both of you tried not to laugh at inside jokes. backstage, manon would reach for your hand without thinking, tugging you behind her through crowded hallways while you followed smiling softly.
there was one night after rehearsals where all seven girls were piled into one hotel room eating takeout on the floor. manon had practically climbed into your lap at some point, stealing pieces of food straight from your chopsticks while you laughed tiredly.
“you know i can get my own food, right?” she mumbled around a mouthful acting like you were the one feeding her. you laughed
“then why aren’t you?” you teased, brushing rice from the corner of her mouth with your thumb.
daniela watched the interaction from across the room so quietly nobody noticed.
except sophia.
she glanced between the three of you slowly before muttering, “this is getting insane.”
lara nearly choked laughing “you’re telling me now?” she whispered back because everybody saw it.
the way manon fit against you like she belonged there. the way you softened around her. the way daniela watched both of you, like she wanted in and out of it at the same time.
that was the worst part for daniela.
she loved how kind you were with manon.
she envied it too.
because no matter how close the two of you got, there was always tension sitting beneath it. even your softer moments together carried the weight of comparison and jealousy executives had shoved between you both.
but manon got you naturally.
daniela had to fight for every inch.
fight for space beside you on flights because manon always got there first, fight for your attention during group dinners because, somehow, your eyes always eventually wandered back toward manon.
and still, you never stopped reaching for her too.
that was what kept daniela hooked.
the lingering glances across rehearsal mirrors, your hand brushing hers when nobody was paying attention, the way you instinctively searched for her reactions first after performances.
sometimes daniela thought maybe you loved her differently because you were scared to love her fully.
other times she thought maybe you simply loved manon more.
then came the late nights where conversations turned too personal too fast, where daniela’s hand brushed your thigh and neither of you moved away, where the air seemed thick enough to choke on because both of you knew crossing that line would ruin everything.
“you keep looking at me like that,” you whispered one night in the dark hotel room, laid beside one another while rain tapped softly against the windows. daniela’s fingers halted where they rested on your thigh, the slow absentminded caress far too intimate to mean nothing.
daniela swallowed hard, her eyes dragging up to meet yours. “like what?” her voice came out quieter than she meant it to, almost breathless.
you shifted closer beneath the blankets, close enough for her to feel your warmth. “like you want something.”
her breath caught when your hand slid over hers, guiding it slightly higher against your skin. daniela looked wrecked by it instantly, pupils blown wide, lips parted just enough to make your stomach twist.
“maybe i do,” she whispered.
the room went still after that.
the kind of stillness where every tiny movement suddenly mattered, where daniela’s thumb pressing unconsciously into your thigh made your heartbeat stutter. you smiled softly before leaning in, slow enough to give her time to pull away.
she didn’t.
if anything, she bent closer too, eyes flicking down to your lips like she couldn’t help herself anymore.
but before they could meet, the hotel room door suddenly swung open.
“oh my god, you have to see this!” manon rushed in breathlessly, throwing herself dramatically across the bed between you both with her phone in hand.
you burst into soft laughter immediately, the tension snapping apart so fast it almost hurt.
“manon,” daniela groaned, dragging a hand over her face while you giggled beside her.
“what?” manon blinked innocently before narrowing her eyes between the two of you. “wait. were you guys having a moment without me?”
“you’re so dramatic,” you laughed. “and you love me for it,” she shot back instantly, already curling against your side.
you smiled at her so natural and easily.
daniela tried not to let the jealousy swallow her whole.
maybe that was why it hurt worse when things started falling apart because just when she had you in her hands, you were getting snatched away.
hxg changed their energy toward the two of you.
of course they did.
at first it was subtle conversations about “branding” and “marketability,” executives speaking in circles while all seven girls sat there exhausted after rehearsals, too tired to fully process the passive aggressive comments hidden beneath fake smiles.
they started pairing daniela and manon together more publicly too.
little things at first.
having them sit together during interviews, asking them questions as a duo, posting clips of them laughing together online with captions about “unexpected besties.” executives would light up whenever the fans reacted positively to it.
everyone saw it, you saw it and you didn't say anything, while you kept your distance but you were still kind to her and somehow that made her chest ache even worse.
she didn’t want manon. she wanted you.
meanwhile manon hated all of it immediately.
“they’re literally doing this on purpose,” she muttered one night after an interview, ripping an in-ear monitor out harsher than necessary while staff rushed around backstage.
you sat quietly beside her, exhausted, while daniela lingered a few feet away, pretending not to listen.
“it’s not anyone's fault,” you whispered, grabbing her hand in yours. manon laughed bitterly. “that’s not helping.”
because it wasn’t. everyone knew the way executives smiled wider whenever daniela and manon played into things publicly, the way cameras zoomed in whenever they touched, the way they kept trying to turn your dynamics into something cleaner, easier to market.
except none of it felt real anymore.
especially not to daniela because every time she sat beside manon during interviews, all she could think about was how badly she wished it was you instead.
and manon knew, that became another problem too.
there was tension between them now, sharp and ugly beneath the surface. not because they hated each other, but because they both loved you and neither of them knew what to do while watching you slowly disappear from the center of everything.
sometimes manon looked at daniela like this was her fault.
sometimes daniela thought maybe it was.
then one night they finally said it plainly.
“it’s difficult marketing two latina girls in one group.” the room went dead silent.
you actually laughed at first, not because it was funny, but because hearing it out loud after months of feeling it almost sounded unreal.
“so what?” you asked quietly. “there’s only room for one of us?” nobody answered immediately. instead one of the executives sighed like you were being difficult. “we’ve just decided to… center daniela more. i mean, daniela and manon are the perfect pair.”
they laughed lightly after saying it, like it was obvious.
daniela remembered the exact way your face changed after that.
how your shoulders straightened instantly like if being hurt in front of them was the one thing you refused to allow yourself to do.
and beside you, manon’s expression darkened immediately. “you can’t be for real,” she said flatly, always ready to jump to defend you.
“manon,” another executive warned quickly. “no,” she snapped. “you can’t seriously think this is okay.”
you reached for her wrist beneath the table instantly, a silent plea for her not to make things worse.
daniela watched it happen in real time. the instinctive way you reached for manon and the way manon immediately softened for you. jealousy twisted ugly inside her chest because even now, even while daniela was technically the one being chosen, it still felt like she was losing.
the executives kept talking anyway. about cohesion, audience perception and balancing dynamics.
as if they were discussing concepts instead of people.
as if they weren’t slowly pushing you out of your own dream while forcing daniela to sit there and benefit from it.
and the worst part was daniela sat frozen because she knew exactly what they meant without them needing to say it directly.
one latina girl was easier to sell, easier to brand and easier to center.
she told herself she should be grateful, they had chosen her but at what cost?
after that, everything shifted faster. room assignments changed first.
you stopped rooming with manon and daniela entirely instead they paired you with sophia some nights, megan on others, acting like shuffling sleeping arrangements around would somehow fix the tension they created.
“wait, seriously?” lara had laughed awkwardly the first time management announced it. “why are we switching rooms again?”
“it works better for dynamics,” one of the managers answered quickly.
everyone knew that was bullshit.
manon took it the hardest in ways she tried not to show. she would get quiet whenever your name came up in a meeting, and if daniela said something too soft about “following what management wants,” manon would go cold immediately.
“you keep saying that like it makes it better,” she muttered once, arms crossed tight over her chest after a rehearsal where you had been moved out of the center again.
daniela blinked at her. “what do you want me to do?”
manon’s eyes flashed. “i want you to stop acting like it’s normal.”
the room went still because it wasn’t just about you anymore, not fully. it was about manon watching the situation eat at you and not knowing whether to comfort you or blame daniela for surviving it better on paper.
and that made everything worse.
because manon loved you loudly, and she hated seeing you shrink.
but she also hated that daniela kept getting pulled closer to the spotlight while you were pushed away, like the company had decided to split the two of them into categories and force everyone else to pick a side.
they were angry but they wouldn't let themselves get angry in front of you about it so sometimes manon and daniela ended up snapping at each other over nothing.
a look.
a comment that landed too sharp.
“you don’t get to tell me how to feel about this,” manon snapped one afternoon when daniela tried to calm her down after a meeting about line distribution.
“i’m not,” daniela shot back, exhausted. “i’m trying to keep us from falling apart.”
“us?” manon repeated, looking almost offended. “what us? because from where i’m standing, it looks like they keep deciding who gets to matter and you’re just letting them do it.”
daniela went quiet after that because there was truth in it, and both of them could feel it.
you were being pushed out and daniela was being elevated just enough to make it hurt. manon was being used to make it all look smoother and none of it felt right.
once the talks about who was leading what songs and who was getting what looks for the new era started everything settled harder into place. you stopped reaching for daniela naturally after that, the lingering touches disappeared first.
then eventually daniela stopped catching you looking at her the way you used to.
but somehow what hurt most was that you stopped reaching for manon too.
during interviews you sat straighter now, careful not to lean into either of them too much. backstage, your hands stayed folded in your lap instead of instinctively grabbing theirs.
you looked lonelier, quieter like you were trying to make yourself easier to remove.
like this wasn't your dream anymore and truthfully it wasn't, you had never felt more like just a product in your life. you were just a face were hybexgeffen to sell stuff.
you stood away and somehow that distance hurt worse than any argument could have because nobody had technically forbidden you from loving each other.
they just made it impossible to do safely.
and manon hated that almost as much as daniela did.
because even while she was mad, even while jealousy and fear kept tangling together in her chest, she still kept watching you like she was the only one who could tell how much it was costing you.
like she was the only one who still wanted to pull you back before the whole thing swallowed you.
then what came next was unexpected.
the girls found out together. all six of them sat in the conference room still dressed from rehearsal, water bottles and hoodies scattered across the table while managers stood awkwardly near the wall avoiding eye contact.
you weren’t there.
at first nobody questioned it too much.
“is y/n still in vocal?” sophia asked casually, glancing toward the empty chair beside manon.
missy cleared her throat. “she’s currently in another meeting.” something about the wording made daniela’s stomach tighten instantly.
the room slowly quieted then came the speech. carefully rehearsed corporate words about restructuring, future opportunities, group direction. every sentence sounded faker than the last.
manon’s expression changed into something upset almost immediately. lara looked confused. megan kept glancing toward the door like she expected you to walk in any second.
then finally… “we’ve decided to continue katseye as six members.” silence.
the unsettling kind like the words were really sinking in. the kind that rang in your ears.
daniela actually thought she misheard them at first.
“what?” yoonchae whispered.
“no,” daniela said immediately after, shaking her head before anyone else could even react. “no, you can’t do that.”
“this decision wasn’t made lightly,”
“are you serious right now?” manon cut in sharply.
nobody answered her.
daniela felt sick all at once because suddenly every weird conversation, every changed formation, every forced pairing clicked together in the ugliest way possible.
they had released you to focus on her because to them one latina girl was only able to be in the spotlight.
across the room sophia covered her mouth with both hands, eyes already glassy while lara stared down at the table in disbelief.
“does she know?” megan asked quietly. the silence stretched too long. manon stood up so fast her chair screeched against the floor.
“you told her alone?” she snapped.
“manon,” missy warned carefully.
“are you joking?” she said louder this time.
daniela’s chest tightened painfully at the thought. you were somewhere else in this building hearing all of this without any of them there, without her there.
the girls pushed out into the hallway before management could stop them and then they saw you.
standing alone outside another conference room at the far end of the hallway, arms wrapped tightly around yourself like you were trying to physically hold yourself together.
your eyes were glossy already.
completely alone.
daniela’s heart cracked at the sight.
for one horrible second relief still hit her chest because there you were, right there, not gone yet, still close enough to touch. you lifted your head to look at her, the hurt written all over you was something she'd never forget.
and daniela thought
please. please come here. please choose me.
her body had already started moving toward you before she even realized it.
but then manon walked up behind her and your bottom lip quivered "manon." soft. wrecked.
and that was it.
you broke.
a sob escaped you before you could stop it and suddenly you were rushing straight past daniela and into manon’s arms hard enough that she nearly stumbled backwards.
“hey, hey,” manon whispered immediately, holding you so tightly it almost looked painful. “i’ve got you, okay? i’ve got you.”
you clung to her desperately, burying your face into her shoulder while your entire body shook.
daniela stopped moving. because for one horrible second she really thought you’d run to her first.
and maybe that made her selfish.
because you were devastated and somehow her heart still cracked over the fact you reached for manon instinctively so she stood there in the middle of the hallway watching you hold onto manon like she was the only safe thing left in the world.
and maybe she was.
the other girls slowly gathered nearby after, heartbreak written all over their faces. sophia crying openly now while lara rubbed at her own eyes beside her, megan frozen near the wall with yoonchae holding onto her sleeve quietly.
nobody knew what to say because there was nothing to say.
manon rubbed circles into your back, glaring at anyone from management who came too close like she might actually fight them if they touched you right now.
and daniela stayed quiet.
because guilt had rooted her in place.
because some ugly part of her knew she was benefiting from this and she hated herself for it.
after you left, hxg practically erased your name from the building.
the girls weren’t supposed to contact you.
no likes. no comments. no public interactions.
and for a while, nobody did.
not publicly but privately was different because missing you settled into the group like a sickness nobody knew how to cure.
your voice was still buried in old rehearsal videos on daniela’s phone. old selfies still sat hidden in manon’s camera roll, blurry late night pictures of you half asleep against her shoulder in vans and hotel rooms.
neither of them deleted anything.
the fallout after was worse than the actual goodbye.
you stopped mentioning the girls in interviews almost entirely. whenever hosts asked about katseye, your answers became short, careful, polished in that media-trained way that only made fans more suspicious.
“i wish them the best.” or “they’re all talented girls.”
that was it.
no laughter or affection.
and that hurt because the girls knew how much love used to exist there.
daniela looked miserable in interviews after you left even as she became more centered in the group.
it meant nothing. more lines. more solo shoots. more opportunities.
exactly what people online accused her of wanting. she stopped searching her own name eventually because every comment section somehow turned into you.
“she stole y/n’s spot.”
“you can literally tell who hxg chose.”
“daniela got the career, y/n got the talent.”
and still, every night, daniela found herself on your account anyway.
she watched your follower count climb faster and faster after your contract officially ended. watched the grainy studio snippets you’d post at 2am, the selfies where you smiled again for the first time in months.
sometimes she would stare at your pictures so long instagram would start asking if she wanted notifications turned on for your account.
she almost said yes once.
manon missed you louder.
she got colder with management after you left, sharper during rehearsals, harder to control in interviews whenever your name almost came up.
and she stalked your account too.
sometimes at 3am daniela would see manon liking tweets about you from her private account only to unlike them ten minutes later.
sometimes she reposted edits of you before deleting them fast enough that only fans caught screenshots.
the company hated it.
especially because fans never stopped associating the two of you together.
there were entire tiktok compilations dedicated to “manon looking at y/n like she hung the stars.”
and the worst part was they weren’t wrong.
then your redebut got announced and the internet exploded.
a teaser photo first, then another.
then the official lineup reveal of your new girl group.
you stood dead center in the image, prettier than ever, staring directly into the camera with the kind of confidence that only comes after surviving something awful.
daniela’s breath actually caught the first time she saw it because you looked different now.
you looked untouchable.
tiktok lost its mind instantly.
edits comparing your old katseye fancams to your new debut trailers flooded everyone’s feeds.
the worst part?
your new group was incredible.
your debut went viral overnight and suddenly katseye had real competition.
the girls heard your songs everywhere, in makeup rooms, in dance studios, through staff phones backstage.
once, during a fitting, your chorus accidentally started playing from sophia’s phone after tiktok autoplayed one of your performances.
the room went dead quiet instantly.
nobody said anything but daniela looked away too fast and manon left the room completely a few minutes later because hearing your voice unexpectedly still felt like being punched in the chest.
and despite everything, they listened anyway, daniela knew every lyric by heart within a week, your perfect voice that she once harmonized with.
manon watched every performance, the way you moved so effortlessly because these weren't corporate written songs, these were yours. this was your dream and manon felt bitter you were getting to experience it without her.
every fancam and every interview played on their phone after hours they just never admitted it out loud.
your new group became huge fast and suddenly katseye was no longer the shiny new thing hxg thought would dominate forever.
executives panicked immediately and the girls got pushed harder after that.
longer rehearsals, more media training, sharper criticism.
they started comparing numbers openly now, bringing up your streams during meetings without saying your name directly. “your competition is thriving because they are working harder,” one executive snapped once after a rehearsal went badly.
manon nearly walked out.
the tension inside the group rotted fast under the pressure especially between daniela and manon because grief looked different on both of them.
daniela carried hers quietly, swallowing it down until it turned poisonous.
manon carried hers like a lit match.
“you act like she died,” daniela snapped one night after rehearsal, exhaustion making her voice crack harsher than she intended. manon laughed bitterly from across the practice room floor. “maybe because you helped get rid of her.” it was a cruel thing to say and the girl quieted up almost instantly.
lara froze, sophia looked horrified while yoonchae looked between the two girls, even megan stopped stretching.
daniela had no defense against it.
not really because even though she didn't ask for it, she had shoved you out because she never stopped them.
“you think i don’t miss her?” daniela shot back finally, eyes glassy now. “you think this has been easy for me?”
“easy enough that you stayed,” manon didn't mean it, she was angry, angry that they bothed stayed despite the clear mistreatment of the girl they loved but that one landed.
daniela’s face crumpled for half a second before anger covered it back up. “what was i supposed to do?” she huffed throwing her hands up. “leave too?”
manon looked away first because the truth was ugly.
they both loved you, they both missed you and neither of them knew where to put all the blame besides each other.
after that, things with manon got worse fast.
she stopped hiding how angry she was.
at first it was smaller things, snapping during rehearsals when executives criticized the girls too harshly, rolling her eyes during media training, refusing to repeat rehearsed answers in interviews exactly the way management wanted.
then your name started becoming impossible to avoid.
fans spammed comment sections asking about you constantly, posting old clips of you and manon together everywhere. edits of your friendship would go viral overnight, slowed down clips of lingering touches and soft looks with heartbreaking music layered over them.
management hated it, especially because manon never looked unaffected.
during one livestream, a fan comment mentioning you flashed across the screen for less than a second but manon still saw it.
everyone watched her expression soften instantly before she caught herself, that clip hit tiktok within an hour.
“she still misses her.”
“manon looks heartbroken every time y/n gets mentioned.”
“hxg really split soulmates apart.”
the company started monitoring her harder after that, more warnings and more conversations about “professionalism.” but manon stopped caring.
“you can’t control every expression i make,” she snapped during one meeting after an executive complained about her looking “disengaged” in recent interviews.
“we’re asking you to think about the group,” the manager replied tightly. manon laughed bitterly. “funny. you guys didn’t care about the group when you tore it apart.”
the room went still.
daniela sat beside her frozen, heart pounding loudly because everybody knew exactly who manon meant.
the arguments only escalated after that and everyone noticed the tension rise more and more, manon only got more irritated and daniela only felt more alone because everyone knew there was only a matter of time before the corrections turned into actual punishment for manon.
"you need to stop,” daniela whispered shifting uncomfortably in their apartment after another meeting went badly. manon laughed humorlessly without looking up from the glass of water in her hands. “or what?”
“they’re looking for a reason.” that finally made manon look at her and god, she looked exhausted and it mirrored the way you had looked when you were getting pushed out. “maybe i want them to find one,” she said quietly because being in this group knowig their success was at the sacrifice of someone else and sure, you were winning now but it was supposed to be you guys at the top of your game.
daniela’s chest tightened painfully at that because for a second she heard you in her voice, that same defeated emptiness you carried, the same feeling of realizing no matter how hard you fought, someone else had already decided your place for you.
one night after rehearsal the girls were kept nearly four extra hours because management thought their energy felt “off” on stage lately.
everyone was exhausted.
lara was nearly asleep sitting against the mirrors, sophia rubbing at her swollen knees while yoonchae quietly tried not to cry from frustration.
then one executive brought you up again, not directly. they never said your name anymore but everyone knew.
“your competition is outperforming you right now because they want it more.” manon’s head snapped up instantly. “don’t do that.”
missy frowned. “excuse me?”
“don’t compare us to her group like you didn’t create this situation yourselves.”
“manon,” another executive warned.
“no, seriously,” she cut in, standing now. the thought of them using you has an example for them to be better when they were the reason you weren't with them “you push her out, act shocked when she succeeds, then punish us for it? what exactly do you people want?”
daniela felt panic twist in her stomach immediately because she knew that tone in manon’s voice. the one right before she exploded.
“sit down,” missy said sharply. manon laughed in disbelief. “or what?”
“you are representing a company.”
“and you’re representing one that destroys friendships and shows people that they are nothing more than just property.”
the pause was heavy. sophia quietly whispered, getting up grabbing her arm “manon…” trying to calm her down before this got worse.
too late because once manon started, months of anger came pouring out at once.
“you isolated her, you treated her like a problem, then replaced her and expected everybody to just move on like nothing happened,” she snapped. “and now you’re trying to do the same thing to me because i won’t sit here smiling about it.”
daniela looked sick beside her because every word was true.
the staffs's expression hardened completely after that. “i think you need time away from group activities.”
the room froze, manon blinked once. “what?”
“effective immediately.” missy crossed her arms like she had won. showing the girls the power she had. “manon, you’ll be going on hiatus.”
lara gasped quietly. “you can’t be serious,” daniela said instantly but nobody looked surprised except the girls.
manon stared at them for a long moment, breathing unevenly before laughing softly to herself.
not happy.
just exhausted.
“wow,” she whispered.
megan stood up too now, panic fully setting in. “you can’t just pull her from the group.”
“the decision has been made.”
manon looked furious for exactly two seconds before the anger cracked into hurt because suddenly it wasn’t just about you anymore now they were pushing her away too for speaking up
“fine,” she said finally, voice quieter now. “if that’s what you want.”
the room stayed painfully silent while she grabbed her bag.
none of the girls moved at first.
until manon walked toward the door and sophia suddenly ran to hug her tightly, nearly crying again.
lara followed immediately after then yoonchae and megan looked devastated.
daniela hugged her last and that one lingered the longest.
because despite everything, despite the arguments and bitterness and blame, they understood each other in the ugliest way possible.
both of them had loved you and they had grieved the loss of you like you were dead and sure you were somewhere thriving but when everyone makes it sound like you're not around anymore it starts to feel like something worse than death.
grieving someone who was still breathing and living and doing great without you.
then next was lollapalooza. it was supposed to feel exciting.
katseye had spent weeks preparing for it, endless rehearsals for their upcoming era mixed with pressure from management to prove the group was still strong after everything that had happened the past year.
after your departure.
after manon’s hiatus.
after the internet practically turned daniela into a villain, the girls were exhausted before they even landed in argentina. and somehow your name still followed them everywhere.
because by then your new group wasn’t just successful.
you were everywhere. your debut album had exploded months earlier, your newest era teasers flooding social media while fans called your group the future of pop. fancams of you collected millions of views overnight, edits of your stage presence constantly circling online while people praised how much freer you looked now. edit of you with your new members that had once been you and daniela.
even staff talked about you when they thought the girls couldn’t hear especially after your lollapalooza set got announced for the same day as katseye’s.
management immediately shut down any possibility of interaction.
“absolutely no public contact,” they warned firmly backstage that morning. “no photos together, no talking backstage, no posting about her set. understood?”
the room stayed quiet because all of them knew the truth.
they were absolutely going to watch your set anyway. it happened almost accidentally.
katseye had just finished rehearsal on one stage while your group was scheduled nearby less than an hour later. staff got distracted handling equipment issues and suddenly the girls found themselves lingering near the edge of the crowd hidden beneath hoodies and sunglasses while fans screamed around them.
daniela stood furthest back at first like maybe distance would somehow soften this.
then the lights dimmed and you walked onstage.
the crowd erupted instantly.
screams tore through the festival grounds so loudly even the girls beside her looked startled, phones flying into the air everywhere while your intro blasted through the speakers.
and then there you were.
confident and beautiful.
completely perfect beneath the stage lights.
daniela’s chest tightened painfully because seeing your performances online was one thing.
this was different.
you moved across the stage with effortless confidence, sweat catching against glittering skin while the crowd screamed every lyric right back at you. your members looked at you with complete trust, hyping you up between songs, laughing with you naturally like they’d known you forever. she wondered if any of them got to see her in the ways that she had, she wondered which you had clung to.
and then for a horrible second daniela wondered if maybe this was the version of your dream that was always supposed to happen.
without them.
beside her, sophia quietly whispered “wow” after one of your high notes.
and when daniela glanced sideways for half a second, she noticed the empty space beside them where manon should’ve been.
that hurt too because manon would’ve loved this.
your final song ended with the crowd screaming your name so loudly it echoed through the entire field. you stood there breathless and glowing, smiling so genuinely it almost didn’t look real.
daniela couldn’t stop looking at you even when she knew she should. the girls slipped away quickly afterward before staff could notice where they’d gone.
except fate apparently hated them because halfway through one of the backstage corridors, they turned the corner and nearly walked straight into your group.
everyone froze instantly, your members noticed katseye first then you did.
for one horrible second nobody moved the hallway buzzed with distant festival noise and rushing staff but right there it felt terrifyingly quiet.
you looked beautiful up close. sweaty from performing, hair slightly messy, glitter still shining against your skin beneath harsh backstage lighting while your in-ear monitor rested loose around your neck.
daniela forgot how to breathe. management’s warnings echoed loudly in all their heads.
no contact. no talking. no photos.
your members exchanged glances first before one of them smiled softly toward the girls. another gave lara a tiny wave. they were kind like they understood exactly how painful this was.
you just stood there looking at all of them quietly. your eyes lingered on daniela for barely a second longer than everyone else.
that alone nearly destroyed her.
it was an awkward silence until yoonchae suddenly stepped forward slightly before she could lose courage.
“you did great,” she blurted out shyly, she nodded at all the girls before stopping on you. “really great.”
everyone looked at her instantly. your expression softened so quickly it physically hurt to witness like hearing kindness from one of them cracked something open in you before you could stop it.
“thank you,” you said quietly, eyes meeting yoonchae’s warmly. then after a small pause, your lips curved into something softer. “i can’t wait to see yours.”
and god, that almost hurt worse because the thought of you watching their set later settled heavy in all their chests.
because this should’ve been shared. you should’ve been rushing to fix your makeup beside them backstage afterward, laughing breathlessly while sophia replayed videos from the crowd. you should’ve been squeezed into group pictures later that night. you should’ve been standing onstage with them.
instead there was this awful distance between all of you now, built by executives and contracts and silence none of them knew how to break anymore.
one of the managers farther down the hallway suddenly shouted for katseye to keep moving.
reality snapped back immediately, the tension returned all at once.
you looked away, your members gently guiding you forward again while staff rushed around both groups pretending this wasn’t emotionally catastrophic. as you passed them, your shoulder brushed lightly against daniela’s.
probably accidental.
it still sent warmth racing painfully through her entire body and neither of you looked back.
even though all of you wanted to.
after lollapalooza, daniela couldn’t stop thinking about you. she wondered if you did stop and see their show, maybe left before anyone saw you.
so much wondering.
it got bad enough that she started sleeping with your music playing quietly through headphones, staring at the ceiling of hotel rooms while your voice filled the dark like a ghost she couldn’t get rid of.
everybody noticed she was off.
she smiled less during schedules, drifted during rehearsals, spent too much time on her phone between takes. sophia asked if she was okay twice before eventually stopping because daniela always gave the same answer.
“just tired.”
but the truth was uglier than that.
she missed you in this humiliating, aching way that followed her everywhere now.
because seeing you at lollapalooza had ruined whatever distance she’d spent the last year trying to build.
you were real again.
not just edited clips on tiktok.
warm skin brushing hers in a backstage hallway, soft eyes lingering on her for one second too long.
and one night she almost reached out.
she sat curled beneath hotel blankets at two in the morning, your instagram pulled open on her private account. her thumb hovered over the message button while anxiety twisted painfully in her stomach.
what would she even say?
i’m sorry?
i still think about you?
do you miss me too?
before she could decide, a notification popped up. manon made a post on instagram.
daniela clicked the notification instantly.
it was a clip. not just any clip. it was your lollapalooza performance.
specifically the ending.
the moment you stood breathless beneath lights while the crowd screamed your name loud enough to shake the barricades.
manon added no caption.
just a white heart.
daniela stared at it so long the screen dimmed. she knew what would cone next and the comments on the story showed it.
fans lost their minds immediately.
“MANON REPOSTED HER???”
“oh they’re DEFINITELY back in contact.”
“you can’t convince me they weren’t in love.”
“daniela somewhere punching the wall rn.”
edits flooded tiktok within hours. old clips of you and manon tangled together during livestreams, you kissing her cheek before performances, manon staring at you during interviews with love songs attached to each edit.
daniela watched every single one.
even though every video made jealousy crawl sharper beneath her skin because manon got to miss you loudly.
she got to love you without hiding it anymore.
while daniela still sat through interviews pretending your name didn’t make her chest cave in.
then a few days later came the livestream. your group was celebrating something, maybe a teaser release or another chart milestone, everyone crowded together laughing while comments flooded so quickly they barely stayed readable.
daniela shouldn’t have been watching.
she watched anyway.
one of your members read a comment aloud suddenly. “someone said… thoughts on manon?”
the room erupted immediately. your members started laughing while you covered your face for a second. for a moment daniela thought you’d ignore it, she supposed that maybe you had the same rules the girls had.
but there it was.
that smile.
soft, helpless.
“i love manon,” you giggled and all the other girls oo’d and ahh’d before they all laughed too.
just like that the comments went psychotic instantly.
daniela physically felt something twist inside her chest because you said it so naturally like loving manon was the easiest thing in the world.
and maybe it always had been.
that was the worst part manon got your softness without fighting for it while daniela had spent years clawing desperately for pieces of your attention only to lose you anyway.
coachella arrived months later.
and despite everything, despite the success and headlines and screaming crowds, something about it felt hollow from the start.
because this was supposed to be all seven of you.
then six.
and somehow now even five felt wrong without manon there too.
the girls tried pretending otherwise backstage, tried hyping each other up while stylists rushed around them adjusting outfits and touching up makeup.
but there was an emptiness sitting between all of them now.
everybody knew the internet was waiting for them to fail too because you were performing coachella the same weekend and pictures were already posted everywhere of manon being there in the crowd unable to perform because she was being punished.
fans already joked online that your set would overshadow katseye completely.
“watch her outsell her old group live.”
“hxg fumbling her needs to be studied.”
“without manon and y/n, they’re over.”
daniela stopped reading comments after that.
their performance went well. technically.
the crowd screamed and the girls hit every mark perfectly.
but standing beneath coachella lights without you there beside them felt strangely empty and when daniela looked toward the side stage during one of the final songs, she caught herself imagining you standing there in formation like muscle memory still expected it.
afterward the girls celebrated backstage while cameras filmed content for socials.
daniela slipped away quietly, nobody stopped her.
music thundered across festival grounds while she moved through backstage pathways alone, hoodie pulled over her curls while her laminate bounced against her chest.
her heart pounded harder the closer she got to your artist area.
she didn’t even fully know what she wanted, to see you maybe.
to finally say something.
anything.
because she couldn’t keep carrying this around silently anymore while manon got to exist in your orbit openly.
daniela reached your trailer row and slowed.
then stopped completely.
manon stepped out of your dressing room.
comfortable, familiar and beautiful in the most effortless way.
and before the door fully closed behind her, she looked back inside with the softest expression daniela had ever seen.
then blew a kiss.
daniela wanted to believe that it wasn’t you she was doing it to but then she heard your laugh and a sweet “thank you for coming, manon”
your voice so intimate enough to make daniela feel physically sick.
the door shut gently afterward and suddenly everything inside her went numb.
because there it was.
proof.
proof that while daniela spent months mourning you quietly from a distance, manon had somehow found her way back to you.
all the parts daniela missed so badly it hurt to breathe sometimes.
manon noticed her a second later.
her expression shifted instantly.
surprise first.
then something harder to read.
neither of them spoke.
what was there to say? i loved her too? i lost her too?
manon didn’t move toward her and daniela didn’t move toward the trailer because suddenly she couldn’t bear the thought of seeing you only to realize you belonged to somebody else now.
so instead she stepped back slowly then turned around, walking away before either of them could say a word.
a/n: hi!! i didn’t have anything else to add for now but i really hope you like it. thank you so much for your time and thank you for reading. i hope you like, reblog and comment. i’d really love to hear your thoughts.
the music is loud and the room smells of cheap booze and sweat but all you can really smell and feel is chad. "god, you're so pretty." is the words he groans before pressing you up against the wall.
it's a messy kiss, the drinks you guys had obviously getting the best of you as his tongue pushing against yours, his hands are in your hair tugging lightly on it causing you to whimper against his lips. he'd been trying to keep his hands off you all night but you just looked a little too perfect in your cowgirl costume i mean how could he resist?
"chad." you laughed against his lips, you can taste the shots the two of you had just taken. his arm wrapped around you pulling you impossibly closer to his warm skin as you placed your hands on his strong chest.
he dropped his head to your neck beginning to suck mark onto your skin your back arching when a moan slipped from your lips.
"chad, we're around a bunch of people." you gasp out but make no particular move to push him away.
his teeth graze your skin his hand dropping to your hips "you wanna go upstairs." he asked finally pulling back as you leaned your head back against the wall, he moved closer when someone said 'excuse me' so he was flush against you.
you think about it running your hands over his bare chest, your nails scratching lightly "i promised mindy we won't have sex." you sigh looking at him through your lashes "you know, horror movies rules and stuff." he groaned throwing his head back his cowboy hat almost slipping off his head. "don't do this to me."
"i'm sorry." you pout pressing a kiss under his jaw. "trust me any other circumstances, i'd have you in me in a second." he laughed looking back down at you shaking his head.
"we don't have to have sex, babe." he hummed his hands gripping your hips "i could always just make you feel good." he pushes his thigh in between your legs, his head dropping back down to your neck "i know how much you love when i do all the work." you let out a gasp when he pulls you to grind against his thigh in one swift moment "chad."
his lips are all over your neck nipping and sucking at your skin as he helps you grind against his thigh. to onlookers it looks like a couple cuddling in the corner, his broad shoulders blocking you from anyone looking. it shouldn't have turned you on as much as it did, you tried to keep quiet moaning softly in his ear.
he pushed his thigh harder against you as he makes due on his promise to do all the work, his hands moving you on his thick thigh. "there you go baby, that's my girl." he praised in your ear, your nails digging into his bicep the pressure against your pussy almost sending you over the edge.
it should be embarrassing but you think it's drinks making you more sensitive to chad's rough touch. you bury your face in the crook of his neck to hide your moans.
it isn't long before you're cumming on his thigh, you holding onto to him for dear life and he still moves you a little bit letting you ride through your high. he doesn't say much when he pulls back looking down seeing that little dreamy look in your eye.
"chad?" he has a smirk on his lips like he knew what you were going to say "yes, sweetheart?"
"wanna go upstairs?" you asked tossing your arm over his shoulders biting your lip "what about horror movie rules?" he teased "fuck horror movie rule i want you inside me." you huffed pulling him down into a rough kiss.
mindy squinted from afar watching as you led chad up the stairs "what's wrong?" anika asked following her eyeline "they're literally going to die because they can't keep it in their pants." anika laughed at mindy's words shaking her head "don't be like that."
"just glad i'm the smart twin."
"i don't know mindy.... there's bathroom with our name on it." anika giggled kissing mindy's jaw and mindy groaned "fine, i'm convinced."
"i haven't even tried to convince you yet!"
"don't care, let's go."
a/n: chad owns my mind, body and soul, tell me what you think and feel free to request. i really hope you liked and enjoyed this!
au where clark and red k!clark are actually twins. kal (red k clark) gets a new girlfriend that clark becomes way to fond of. you’re probably the complete opposite of kal, softer and kinder. you’re all big smiles and manners while kal was more of the brooding type. now, clark would never go after his brother’s girlfriend but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t stare, that a part of him doesn’t yearn to feel you the way his brother gets to. maybe, kal even notices and he begans to just rub you in clark’s face. for the first time he had something clark wanted and there was nothing clark could do about it. so, he flaunts you around, brings u over to dinner with his family. his mom loves you and his dad is almost shocked you’re with kal. he smirks when he notices clark’s eyes lingering on you, saying things to impress you so he’s quick to place a warm kiss on your cheek, you giggle thinking he’s just being romantic not noticing the glare thrown towards clark.
clark walking into the barn to catch the two of you making out, kal swears he has no idea that clark was home to you when you’re embarrassed but clark doesn’t miss the way kal’s smirking. he can’t even escape it at school because suddenly kal is eagerly offering both of your help to chloe for the torch and suddenl after school you’re there too. “i think she’s a good influence” chloe whispers clark both of them carefully eyeing the two of you on the other side of the room. you’re behind kal’s seat leaning over his shoulder pointing at something on the computer “i mean when has he ever wanted to help me!” chloe giggled but clark just offers a dry laugh, his lingering on the two of you for longer than it should. he wants to call out his brother for this, for taunting him but he can’t.. he hadn’t done anything he could particularly prove.
but the wink kal gives him from the across the room feels like enough proof to him.
summary: clark kent sneaks into your room affected by a force you’re unsure of but he needs you or something bad might happen. (or) clark needs to cum or he’s gonna die.
warning(s): 18+ content, alludes to sex pollen, dry humping, needy!clark, also mentions of you being related to lex and horribly unedited work!
a/n: hi! it’s been awhile but i’m happy to be here and if you decide to read this fic i’m so happy you chose me and thank you sm for your time! this wasn’t proofread but i hope you love it with all the flaws!
your boyfriend wasn’t usually a climb through your window type, he was a yearner but he knew sometimes you needed your alone time especially after the mini argument you had earlier. thats why when you were woken by yhe sound of him stumbling in you had first thought he was hurt.
“clark, baby what happened?” he’s stumbling over his words, something about the corn field and flowers. he’s stumbling over his words as you help him to your bed where he throws himself. clark feels so much yet not enough at the same time, all he knows is that he needs you right now.
“something’s wrong.” his voice comes out like a whine, his cheeks flushed pink and he’s sweating. his chest rising and falling with each heavy breath. you’re gentle when you’re investigating him, cupping the boy’s face but the minute your cold hands touch his face the sound he makes is filthy.
his eyelids hanging low when he whimpers for you. it awakens something in you, something wet between your thighs but you push it down wanting to help him, to understand.
“clark, you’re burning.” you brush his sticky hair off his forehead. his lack of words leave you worried but he can’t form words, not with the way his heart is pounding in his chest, not with the way the strap of your nightgown hangs off your shoulder leaving so much of your skin out for him to see. the thought is fleeting but it’s there, the imagery in his brain of leaving marks on your delicate skin. it makes him feel dirty.
the burning rising in his chest grew with each passing second, he can’t focus not with your hands on him. he needed you away but his body craved you like air. he was dangerous to you, the thoughts in his brain were all flithy in the most perverse ways possible. “get away from me.” he pushed your hands away from him finally getting the courage to slide up your bed telling himseld to go.
go home.
but the feeling in him didn’t fade, the burning grew worse like his body was on fire and he squeezed his eyes shut. he let out a loud whimper and you shushed him quickly looking towards your door.
lex liked to take walks around the mansion, always deep in thought and planning something you didn’t know or maybe a part of him just wanted to protect his little sister after the plenty of tines you put yourself in harms way but who knows.
all you knew now was that clark kent needed your help and lex couldn’t find him in your roon so you shushed him in soft coos. “clark, breath for me, okay?” you tried to reach for him once more but just at the sound of your voice another whimper came through. his head dropping against your silk sheets, his hips bucking into nothing.
your heart sputtered at the sight, seeing the way he sweated through his clothes, seeing the way his bulge pressed through his jeans. sweat was practically dripping from his forehead. “honey, you have to shush.” you tried not to say his name but the pet name only made him react worse.
a loud moan ripping through the air, you react far too quickly your hand covering his mouth. “clark!” you whisper yelled but he couldn’t help it, each sound from you made his body burn. “i’m sorry, i’m sorry.” his voice came out in a soft begging tone, muffled by your hand but the whimpering didn’t stop “i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” he looked at you through hooded eyes, he looked what you could describe as drunk but there was no smell of liquor on him. you slowly removed your hand from his mouth with a sigh
“it hurts.” his hands gripped the sheets to stop himself from touching you, from gripping your waist and pinning you down on your bed, from using you until you cried out and begged for him to stop because it was too much. his eyes squeezed shut again biting into his lip to stop the moan from leaving his lips. “what hurts?” he shook his head quickly afraid for you to hear the words.
he couldn’t bare if you turned him away but he felt his insides burning up, like if he didn’t cum he was going to combust. “please, talk to me.” he hated how perfect you sounded, how it broke him up into pieces, how it made him imagine you in every position possible.
the little please making everything in him hotter. he gulped, a heavy breath releasing from his lips looking up at you with glossy eyes “it burns inside.” fuck, your perfect face. your eyebrows furrowed at his words, your stupidly sweet eyes filled with worry just for him. “how do i help?”
so eager to help and it made his so hard in his jeans. “i think i…” he gulped “i think i need to cum or i might die.” this time when he squeezes his eyes shut it’s to hide his embarrassment. there was a pause in the air, like time stopped as your eyes widened. part of you wondered if he was joking with you, a stupid prank but he looked in a way you had never seen.
clark looked desperate, his body shaking with want and your body heated up at the thought that this was just for you. he didn’t go anywhere else, he went to you. he didn’t care that you were angry at him, all he knew was that he needed you. “tell me what to do.” you speak in a soft whisper that makes him even harder.
he let’s out another whimper, a part of him still fighting not to give in, not to pin you onto the mattress and take you all night long. he was afraid he’d hurt you but the burning inside him ignited more want and need for you. “i just need you, please, please. i don’t even have to put it in.” he begged for you desperately, beginning to paw at your clothes yanking you on top of him. you straddled him, he felt so hard pressed against you. his large hands gripped your waist desperately in pain and need. “please.” you silence his loud begging with your lips kissing him. he moans desperately into your mouth like his body yearned to feel yours.
his hands slid up to your breast, you let out a soft sound grinding against his hard cock through his jeans. the feeling makes him moan louder “clark you have to be quiet.” you told him but it fell on deaf ears as he gripped your hips. his strength caught you off guard as he practically pinned your hips against his beginning to roll his hips into yours.
your head hung for a second a whimper leaving your mouth as the material of his jeans rubbed against your clit. “you’re so perfect.” he groaned a hand coming up to pull your nightgown down revealing your breasts to him. “oh my god.” he flipped both of you over quickly practically giving you whiplash. the bed creaking under your weight but clark didn’t care he just needed more of you.
his head dropped down to your nipple beginning to suckle on it has he held your legs open grinding into again. “fuck.” you moaned tangling your fingers into his dark hair. he muttered something you couldn’t hear but you figured it was a compliment from the way he began to press kisses all over your chest.
he was so close, so close to cumming for you but the dry humping wasn’t enough not with these clothes on but he didn’t wanna fuck you, afraid wirh his super strength he’d hurt you. it was funny even if he was going to die he was thinking abt you. he moves away from you far too quickly yanking off his jeans, in a desperate manner “i’m sorry, i’m sorry”
you didn’t know what he was apologizing for but the sound of his soft voice just begging made you so wet. “it’s okay.” you reassured him nodding as he began to slide his boxers down and your eyes widened at the size of his length. he wasn’t abnormally long but he had girth to him definitely.
“i won’t put it in, okay?” he promised climbing back onto the bed, a part of you felt disappointed but there was no words you could form besides a nod as he towered over you even on his knees.
his eyes dropped low on your wet panties and he groaned, loud animalistic almost “is this for me?” he asked softly the dirty words sounding far too romantic as he stroked his length at the sight. “a-all for you.” you stuttered as his other hand dropped to pussy.
his thumb carefully massaging you through your panties. you bit your lip hiding your moan but clark was loud stroking himself faster. you tried to shush him but the words fell of your lips when he slapped his tip against your pussy through the fabric.
“you’re so hot.” he muttered gripping your thigh as he thrusted against you, the wetness making it easy for him to slide against you. the sounds he makes are desperate, two pieces of himself fighting. a part fighting desperately for his life, needing to cum for you, needing to bury himself into until you were all filled up with his cum but the other side was telling him it was too dangerous.
but the feeling was enough for him (for now)
feeling your wetness drip onto his dick through your panties, watching your face contorting beautifully as you tried to hide your noises. he felt it, his orgasm approaching. he felt it so so deeply, every second approaching closer and closer. “please, fuck.”
then there it was and god, it was so much. his cum practically covered your pussy. he chest heaved as he basically fell on top of you. “i’m sorry. i’ll take care of you i promise i-“ you shushed him softly “it’s okay.” you promised him petting his back “as long as you’re alive.” you laughed.
a/n: thank you so much for reading! i know it’s a little bit rushed but i had the idea and i just needed to share! thank you so much for your time and im very glad you chose this fic to read. please leave your thoughts down below and reblogs are very much appreciated.
