NO MORE ELI . . .

𝗂   𝗐𝖺𝗌   t͟ɑ͟m͟e   𝗂   𝗐𝖺𝗌   g͟e͟n͟t͟l͟e 𝗍𝗂𝗅𝗅  𝗍𝗁𝖾  𝖼𝗂𝗋𝖼𝗎𝗌  𝗅𝗂𝖿𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝖽𝖾  𝗆𝖾  𝑴 𝑬 𝑨 𝑵​

[fablefools]

STATUS OF MY BLOGS AS OF 10/06/25 (fablefools, mskwtz, wontbeg) : indefinite hiatus

this is a post that is very hard to make and one that i have avoided making in my years on and off this site writing. i have so many thoughts on my muses all the time and i have loved becoming friends with new people and seeing everything you all create. unfortunately, i’m at a point in my life where i have a lot going on in my family and there is as we all know a lot going on in america and with all of it my mental health has crashed and burned and it’s something i have to work on every single day. as much as i love writing, logging on to this site gives me so much anxiety to the point where i have to get off very shortly afterward. right now i need to focus on the things that bring me peace, and that hasn’t been roleplay in quite some time, which is really really hard for someone who has been roleplaying on this site on and off since 2014.

i have always found myself coming back here after taking any kind of break, even feeling like maybe I shouldn’t, because i freaking love my longtime moots. those of you who followed me between many hawk remakes, or even before those who followed my puck blogs or my hsm blogs or any other blog i have made, have been what kept me wanting to come back the most. i have made some of my closest friends on this site and i am so grateful for that. right now though, i need to take a long break and that long break might be a forever break. for now i’m going to focus on my family and on my mental health and doing what makes me happy rn. i won’t be deleting my blogs because last time i did that i regret it a lot because i like to look back on my writing from time to time, but i will be logged out of my rp blogs.

if you want to keep in touch, you can find me on discord. i’ve been focusing a lot on video games particularly d.ead b.y d.aylight, st.ardew v.alley, dr.eamlight v.alley and r.esident e.vil, so if anyone else games and wants to chat about games the discord is available for that too. for long time writing partners, i am always down to write in a server if you’re cool with the fact that i can be slow sometimes and stupid fast other times. i’ve also been trying to watch more movies so if you also like movies, this is my l.etterboxd. and if we have been friends for a long time across blogs, you can ask for my other socials if you’d like, even though i’ve cut back a lot outside of discord and scrolling t.iktok.

i love y’all so big. thanks for wanting to write with me, thanks for liking my headcanons, thanks for being you. i might be back someday but i don’t know when that day might be. sorry for getting emotional about writing fictional people jfbskbfsknflsndos. so many hugs.

[mskwtz]

where oh where is courtney

- @wontbeg : may.silee don.ner of the h.unger g.ames series. spoilers for sun.rise on the re.aping

- @fablefools : revamped multimuse with muses from various media. a lot of horror muses are featured, all threads and content from their source media is tagged horror tw.

- here, @mskwtz ! on a semi hiatus rn, but writing as i get the muse.

- @valleykids : sideblog ck multi (follow back from mskwtz). also on a semi hiatus.

mays is my main blog rn bc i have thg brainrot and i adore her, and i want to put more energy into my multi too.

[dayfade]

yeah, yeah — he should watch his language around the kids. (he should watch his temper around the kids.) should’ve, could’ve, didn’t. the colourful expletive — almost as colourful as his little friend’s circus-cockatiel hair — slips out without regard to who’s in earshot.

WALTER HAWKMAN — i see the art of eloquence is alive and well. @mskwtz

now, he’s not not angry — wolf is never not angry — but it goes some way to diffusing the tension. it even provokes a rasping laugh as he turns to face his friend foe a toothy grin. ‘well done, walter. that’s a big word.’ he speaks as if to a toddler (as if to an american), almost cooing if it weren’t for the coldness of his voice. ‘your mummy must be very proud.’

[mskwtz]

   sensei feng xiao was not entirely how eli had expected him to be from the texting saga.   he'd seen photos of the older man, and had experienced his snark in message form pretty consistently leading up to the sekai taikai, & yet there was something kind of . . . imposing about him. he was far taller than eli thought, which was mildly annoying ( thank fuck for the height of his hair ), and that snark seemed a lot more threatening in person.  but  eli  lacked  any  sense  of  self  preservation  , so he pressed his luck like usual. what were friends for, right ?

   brow raised and arms crossed over his chest,   that teenage petulance shining nice and bright. he wasn't totally convinced that the schnauzer wouldn't knock him on his ass faster than he could quip, but his mouth won out over his brain. nothing unusual there. he bit back a laugh at the use of his fake name. the asshole was funny. ❛ did we not establish my literacy like, weeks ago pup ? ❜ he'd have said that wolf bringing his mother into things was beneath him, but it sort of had its intended purpose. it hit a nerve, as a mama's boy, though wolf didn't need to know that. eli's lips pressed into a thin line, tongue running along his teeth before frothing at the mouth. ❛ my mummy is very proud, thanks. how 'bout yours ? ❜

[fablefools]

𝐅𝐄𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐑𝐎𝐏𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐀𝐍 𝐈𝐍𝐊 𝐏𝐄𝐍 - 𝐀 𝐆𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐖𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐘𝐒 𝐂𝐎𝐎𝐋, 𝐁𝐔𝐓 𝐈 𝐇𝐎𝐖𝐋 𝐋𝐈𝐊𝐄 𝐀 𝐖𝐎𝐋𝐅 𝐀𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍. ©

[mskwtz]

i am trying to decide whether to put eli on my revamped multi or remake him primarily in an alt universe. it's always super hard when a show ends with figuring out where to take your muse in the canon timeline esp with the ck fandom slowly dwindling out bc of it. i love eli having his own space bc i usually have a lot of thoughts for him but i need something, so i'm going to consider the best move. regardless, i will share my updated mumu url when it's set up. and in the meantime, you can find me on @wontbeg if you like the hu.nger g.ames and either already read sun.rise on the re.aping or don't mind spoilers. mays also has many alt verses.

[anxietyproblem]

[mskwtz]

I’ve been in a really weird mind space lately regarding writing, particularly here on tumblr, and this has been a reason for my lack of posting.

I am not saying any of this for attention. Rather, I just want it to be known why I’m not here right now so it doesn’t seem like Courtney’s just being lazy.

I’ve been having a hard time for a while now and have been doing what I need to do in my personal life to adjust and fix that. I’m doing my best. It’s a process. I take a few steps forward by trying to get medications right and trying to figure out what I need to feel like I’m not drowning, but then I’ll have a really bad day or week and it feels like I’ve jumped back several steps. That’s the life of mental illness, which a lot of people in this community understand personally because I’ve seen people talk about their own struggles.

A lot of my bad days have had me feeling as though I’m struggling in all my friendships both irl and online, and that the content I am putting out here isn’t good enough. And while I recognize some of all of it is probably in my head, those feelings of not being interesting or funny or engaging enough makes it really really hard to focus on writing and discussing plots or ideas with others. It’s discouraging and it’s hard because that doesn’t fall on anyone else but me. I can have the hard conversations with my close friends in real life about feelings I’m having, but people online don’t owe me anything just like I don’t owe them anything. I love all my moots and writing partners so much. I consider myself friendly with anyone I write often with and plot with. But I also need to be better about understanding that not everyone is my friend. You can be friendly and write together and not be friends, even though I tend to lean towards friendships. When I sense that someone isn’t as into talking to me as I am with them, I pull back and as a sensitive person it hurts.

I’d like to think I’m very self aware. I know where my flaws are, I know what holds me back, but being self aware doesn’t fix the problem and I’m unfortunately at a place where I don’t know how to fix the problem just like that. The last time I felt similar to this, I deleted all my blogs. Every last one. All those posts gone. I regret that decision a lot, and I don’t want to do that again.

Without doing that though, I have to step back when I’m feeling not great so I don’t ruin this hobby for myself. I’ve been focusing on other hobbies like gaming and reading, but also hate to feel like me not being present here means I could lose people who I am friends with or that I’m letting those people down by not actively writing. It’s a double edged sword.

TLDR; I’m on an indefinite hiatus. I’ve been testing the waters on a new blog, fresh fandom that I’ve been hyper fixating on since reading the new thg book, but even there I’m not posting as much as I’d like to. I want to be here, but I also don’t want to force myself when I lack the energy. So we can say I’m here but I’m not here. I’m always on discord for those who have it and want to chat about whatever. Life, fandoms, plotting stuff for whenever I do have the energy to be on the dash or writing on discord itself.

[mskwtz]

i don't think i ever told you this before (and if i have, no i haven't ;P) but your consistent love for eli / hawk made me love him all the more too. i just very much enjoy your insights on who he is as a person, his goals, dreams, dynamics and what drives him. you're doing a great job writing kie's bestie buddy! <3

tessa what the hELL

i love you so bad. writing with you for the past, god like 6 years ? has been one of my favorite parts of being in the rpc. i just wanna give you the biggest hug thank you so much for your kind words <3

[wontbeg]

who said i wanted FRIENDS ? i'm here to make people remember me . . . 'member ? it's not just you, it's everyone i saw from the chariot. garish color, unflattering lines. and there are some fashion choices you people are going to regret. ⸺ independent & selective roleplay for maysilee donner of the hunger games series. spoilers for sunrise on the reaping. cherished by court ୨୧

[wontbeg]

who said i wanted FRIENDS ? i'm here to make people remember me . . . 'member ? it's not just you, it's everyone i saw from the chariot. garish color, unflattering lines. and there are some fashion choices you people are going to regret. ⸺ independent & selective roleplay for maysilee donner of the hunger games series. spoilers for sunrise on the reaping. cherished by court ୨୧

[wontbeg]

who said i wanted FRIENDS ? i'm here to make people remember me . . . 'member ? it's not just you, it's everyone i saw from the chariot. garish color, unflattering lines. and there are some fashion choices you people are going to regret. ⸺ independent & selective roleplay for maysilee donner of the hunger games series. spoilers for sunrise on the reaping. cherished by court ୨୧

[auteurish]

DREAM ON, BUT DON'T IMAGINE THEY'LL ALL COME TRUE.

# AUTEURISH , a character study of aaron kinsey, a fandomless original character. as filmed by ray.

[mskwtz]

it's been 12000 years since i've gotten audios, what do y'all use to convert to mp3s for your pinned audios ?

[mskwtz]

raise your hand if you’ve ever felt personally attacked by su.zanne co.llins

[mskwtz]

I’m in thg brain rot mode so I’m focusing a lot on Eli’s verse rn as well as getting may.silee’s blog up and going. Plus my thg muses on my mumu!

[mskwtz]

@wontbeg still very under construction i don't even have a pinned or rules or anything ~ spoilers for su.nrise on the re.aping if you are reading / intend to read and don't want to be spoiled.

[mskwtz]

btw even if it may be a bad idea I have a new blog I’m waiting to set up