Imagine being Caleb's non mc fiance.
Imagine after four whole years with Caleb, not once had he ever made you questin whether he loved you. Maybe that was what made this hurt so much. Because the cruelest part wasn't the possibility that Caleb stopped loving you. No. You knew him too well for that. Even now, even later, even after everything that would happened tonight, you knew Caleb loved you.
Imagine you knew it with terrifying certainty, you knew it in the way he always reached for you first in crowded rooms. In the way he memorized your routine better than you did. In the way exhaustion never stopped him from driving hours just to spend a night beside you. In the way he still kissed your forehead absentmindedly while half asleep.
Imagine Caleb loved you. Which was exactly why your chest hurt so badly these past few days. Because something was wrong and you could feel it. It was not obvious enough for accusations. Not dramatic enough to start fights. It just felt wrong. Tiny things, small pauses in conversations, moment where Caleb looked distracted before immediately covering up. How he checked his phone more often lately, and sometimes went quiet in the middle of your conversations like he was thinking too hard about something.
and Imagine every single time you noticed it, he would pull you closer afterwards, kiss your temple, then ask about your day. He looks at you with so much warmth it made you feel guilty for doubting him at all. Which only made your anxiety worse. Because if Caleb had been cold, distant, cruel... This would have been easier, but he wasn't. He was still loving you exactly the same. Still calling you endearing nicknames in that soft voice that always melted you. Still showing up at your apartment carrying your favorite food after long shifts. Still sleeping with one arm wrapped tightly around your waist like he physically couldn't rest properly otherwise. Still loving you.
so Imagine, why does your chest feel so heavy? You hated yourself for overthinking. Hated the way old conversation started resurfacing in yout mind again. Military wives whispering warning during gatherings years ago. "Distance change people." "Sometimes they stop telling you things first." "Men stationed far away get lonely." You used to brush off those comments confidently because Caleb wasn't like that. Your Caleb wasn't careless with hearts.
Imagine he loved too deeply for that. Still, the anxiety stayed. Quiet and persistent like your instincts were trying to warn you about something your heart didn't want to see. For an entire week, sleep became difficult, finding yourself rereading old text at night like reassurance, listening to his voice messages repeatedly, trying to convince yourself everything was fine. And maybe, maybe if you had just stayed home that evening, maybe things would have been fine, maybe ignorance really woud have been kinder. Because a part of you would spent the rest of the night wishing desperately that you had never gone there at all.
Imagine the way you just wanted to surprise him. That was all. Caleb had been stuck near base almost nonstop lately because of his transfer to the new unit and you missed him terribly. So after work, you bought dinner and drove toward his apartment near the base with the spare key he once pressed into your hand months ago.
"For emergencies." He told you back then and you laughed. "What counts as emegency?" "You missing me." God, you almost broke down just remembering it.
Imagine the drive there felt normal. You even smiled stupidly at red lights thinking about how surprised Caleb would look seeing you unexpectedly. Maybe he would pull you into one of those crushing hugs you secretly loved. Maybe he would complain dramatically about how exhuasted he was until you played with his hair. Maybe the anxiety would finally disappear once you saw him again. You wanted that desperately, wanted assurance. You wanted your Caleb back.
Imagine the hallway outside his apartment was quiet when you arrived. You balanced the food carefully in one arm while unlocking the door. And then your entire world titled sideways. Because there, right there was a woman sitting inside his kitchen. Wearing Caleb's shirt. For one horrible second, your brain genuinely failed to process what you were seeing. She looked comfortable there. Too comfortable sitting casually at his dining table with coffee in hand like she belonged in that apartment. Like she belonged in his space. In your space. The oversized shirt hanging off her shoulder was unmistakably his too. You knew it immediately becasue you bought that shirt for him last winder after he complained about the old one fading.
Imagine the way your stomach dropped so violently it hurt. The woman looked up at the sound of the door opening. Then blinked in surprise seeing you. And somehow, seeing her expression looked more curious than guilty like she genuinely didn't know who you were. That made your throat tightened painfully. No. No no no no. This didn't make sense. Because Caleb loved you. He loved you. You knew he did. So why? That was when you noticed the marks near her neck. Your vision blurrred instantly. Love bites, fresh enough to still look angry against her skin. Your breathing became uneven immediately. The room suddenlt felt too small. Too hot. Too loud despite the silence.
Imagine the way the woman slowly lowered her coffee cup while studying you carefully. "Caleb didn't tell me a friend was visiting." Friend? You open your mouth. Nothing came out. Because your thoughts were crashing too violently against each other. Who is she? Why is she here? Why is she wearing his clothes? Why does she look so comfortable? Why are there marks on her neck? Why... Why? Why?! You wanted Caleb to walk out right now and laugh. Tell you this was ridiculous. Tell you there was explanation. Because there had to be. Then the bathroom door opened.
and Imagine there he was, fresh from the shower, hair damp, towel around his neck, relaxed, domestic, comfortable. The exact imagine of a man at home with someone. Then his eyes landed on you and you watched everything change instantly. Shock, real shock. Then immediate panic, not guilt, not exactly. Panic. You knew Caleb well enough to recognize it immediately. His eyes widened sharply as if his brain was calculating too many things at once. You saw him realize what this looked like and saw the fear hit him in real time.
"Baby-" something inside you snapped. Because innocent people explained immediately. Innocent people didn't look terrified like that. So you turned and ran before he could say another word. "Baby!" You ignore him. Your chest hurt so badly it felt difficult to breathe. The hallway blurred around you as tears burned instantly behind your eyes. You heard the apartment door slam open violently behind you. Then footsteps, fast, panic filled. "Baby wait!" Your thoughts spiraled uncontrollably. All those insecurities you thought you outgrew suddenly came flooding back at once.
Imagine he's handsome, successful, and surrounded by people constantly. Maybe eventually someone better caught his attention. Maybe distance really did change things. Maybe those women years ago were right. But no... Because even now, even while running away crying like your heart was being ripped open. You still couldn't fully believe Caleb cheated on you. That was the worst part. You didn't think he stopped loving you. You thought he was hidding something. Something big enough to hurt you anyway. And somehow that pain felt deeper. Because if Caleb cheated, at least the betrayal would make sense. But this?
Imagine this felt like watching the person you trusted most slowly drown while refusing to let you help him. Then a hand suddenly grab your wrist. You spun instantly and slapped him hard on the face. The sound cracked violently through the parking lot. Your nails scratching his cheek deeply enough to leave blood behind. Your own palm burned afterwards. And Caleb barely reacted. He didn't even defend himself, he just held your wrist carefully, breathing hard like he had run after you without thinking. Purple eyes frantic, devastated.
"Listen to me." He said immediately, voice rough. "That's not what it looked like." Your laugh came our broken. "Then what is it?" Silence. Not long, but long enough to destroy you. Because you watched Caleb struggle, actually struggle. Like the truth physically sat there inside him clawing to come out. "What is it, Caleb?" His jaw tightened painfully. "Tell me." Nothing. Tears finally spilled fully down your face. "Tell me!" Your voice cracked violently. "Because right now it looks like you've been lying to my face for weeks while hiding another woman in your apartment!"
"It's not like that." "Then explain it!" His expression twisted. God, he looked horrible. Not defensive, not angry. He was horrified. Like every second of this conversation was killing him too. "I can't." Your entire body went still. Not I won't but I can't. And somehow, that hurt worse. Because you believe him. You believe he physically could not tell you. And that realization shattered something inside your chest completely. You stared at him through tears. "Do you understant how much that hurts?" Caleb's face crumpled slightly. "Bab-" "You're hurting me." Your voice came out smaller now. Broken. "And you know you're hurting me."
Imagine that made his grip on your wrist loosened slightly. Like the words physically wounded him. You cna see it all over his face. That was the cruelest part. You knew Caleb loved you, even now. Even standing here bleeding from the cheek after you slapped him. Even now while watching your heart break apart in front of him. Because of him. He still loved you. You could see it so clearly. Which only made this unbearable. Because if he loved you this much. Then whatever secret he was protecting had to matter more than your relationship right now. And that thought destroyed you.
"Just tell me the truth." You whispered desperately. "Please." Caleb looked wrecked. Actually wrecked. Like he wanted to say it so badly. But instead he just whispered again. "I can't."
Imagine the way something inside you gave up. Not angrily, not dramatically. Just... Collapsed. "I see." You tried pulling your wrist away but he still held on weakly, desperately. Like if he let go now, he would loose you forever. And maybe he would. Your hans trembled violently as you reached for your engagement ring. The second Caleb realized what you're doing, real fear crossed his face. "No." You pulled the ring off slowly. The skin beneath suddenly felt enbearably empty. "No- baby, please-" "What am I supposed to do?!" You asked shakily. "Stand there pretending I didn't see another woman wearing your clothes?" His breathing became uneven.
"This isn't what you think." "Then what is it?" Silence again. And God, that silence hurt more than screaming would have. Because you knew Caleb was choosing this silence for a reason. Which meant he believed he had no choice. And maybe that was what truly broke your heart. Not betrayal. Not cheating. But that there was a wall between you neither of you knew how to cross. You shoved the ring weakly against his chest.
"Get out of my way." He looked destroyed, but eventually stepped aside. You got into your carnumbly. Your shared car. Everything suddenlt felt shared, painfully. Outside, you watched Caleb paced near the vehicle helplessly, back and forth. Hands shaking slightly. The cut on his cheeks still bleeding. He looked like he wanted to drag you into his arms and never let go. But he didn't, maybe because he no longer had the right.
Imagine you looked at him through blurry vision and somehow, even now, you still loved him so much it physically hurt. Which made everything even worse. Because a part of you desperately wanted to rewind tonight entirely. Wanted to unknown what you saw. Wanted to go back to his morning before anxiety pushed you here. Because if you never visited, maybe you and Caleb would still be happy right now. Maybe tonight would have ended with him holding you in bed enstead of watching you leave him behind. Maybe ignorance would have sabved you both. That thought haunted you the entire drive home.
and Imagine, later that night, as you curled motionless in your shared bed, staring blankly into the darkness while his scent still clung to the pillows, you phone buzzed.
Imagine the way you chest caved inward. Because the thing is you did trust him. Trusted that he loved you. Trusted that whatever happened tonight wasn't a simple betrayal. Trusted him enough to know he was suffering too. And somehow that made this infinitely more painful. Because you knew love wasn't enough to fix this. Not tonight. Maybe not ever. Tears blurred your vision completely. Hands shaking violently, you blocked his number. Then buried your face into the pillow and cried until breathing hurt.
: advance happy birth day my loveeee! This is one of my bday gift for you :)
: hearing Hawks talk give me flashback of both my exes and lovers lmao all i can hear is, and i need you now tonight edit on tiktok. Ps. Sorry for the typos :( i think i cant spell XD
