SimplyK

In a world where I exist, you never know what your going to get

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With my whole heart

I love you with my whole heart

and with my whole heart you hurt me

I love you with my whole heart

and with your actions you poisen me

I love uou through the ups and downs

I love you so much it hurts

I love you so much I cant sleep, I cant eat

but I sure can cry. 

Why say you love me, why string me along, why make me everything just to say I am nothing. Why provide me comfort, why give me joy, why do the things you do if you just trail off. 

I love you with my whole  heart. YOu are my drug. You are something I want over and over as the withdrawl is to hard. 

I can go on an on about my whole heart but with the hole taking up my whole heart all it can do is cry. 

With my whole heart I gave you me

With my whole heart I broke promises

With my whole heart I loved you unconditionally

With my whole heart I forgot me.

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Can I tell you what I cant tell him?

I am in love. Like a love that I cannot explain, I just want to ride for him. Be with him. Eventually, I an see myself being his Mrs. He knows it. I just cant tell him. He is weird with affection so I try not to smother him. I love him. I dont know what to do. A part of me doesnt want to love him. See, I knew him since I was 7, infatuated since I was 9 had him when I was 12 lost him and got him back at 16. I am 23 and all I want is him. Is it weird. Am I strange? I really want to live day by day and not get my hopes up, because he isnt my boyfriend but little does he know, I am his girlfriend, yet I am single. That sucks, where is the mutality. I am not sure but my heart and mind tell me otherwise. He is intoxicating, I lose all my inhibitions. I am me when I am with him but even through his weirdness, I know he loves me.I know he wants me. But he is like any other typical man and is afraid of what this can do to him. I promise it wont hurt him. I dont know how to do anything but love him. Ive loved him since I was 9, its already a habit. Back like he never left and I am just trying to make sure that he never leaves again. So I pray for guidance and for patience because I know with him, I will need it. I cant afford any wrong turns. Is this unhealthy? Call the doctor quick. Dont kill me, dont hurt me, dont revive me, just be on standby. 

Like, I love you. Dont you get it, I will move across country if you asked me. I want to be where you are at all times and you worried about if we are compatible? I dont want to rush, I cant afford to fall. Ill play by your game, Ill take it one day at a time. I will do it all because you asked me to.

But dont you DARE take my love for weakness. I look in the mirror, I know I am cute and my bounce back quick. I was made to be loved. Taking advntage of me will do you no good. 

I can actually keep writing, but I think I will end here. 

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Need

Have you ever felt the need to write? Just write without the need to make sense. Just to feel your fingers tapping against the keys of your respective laptop or phone. Just to let your mind run free with no care or worries in the world. Not to concerned with grammar, spelling or punctuation? I may seem to care about grammar, punctuation, and spelling. Its not that I do its simply that because I have an English degree it just comes natural. I love to write, just don't tell me what to write. I love to read but again, don't tell me what to read. I am the boss. I do what I want. I want to write a book but don't know where to end. See what I did there, I know how to start but what comes next hasn't been written, discovered, or thought of yet. I just want to type till I am tired of typing. Are you my non followers, since I just made this blog, actually going to read this? probably not. Do I care? absolutely not. This blog wasn't made for the people but for me and my random thoughts and those who want to read my random thoughts. I actually just got tired of typing. for some reason my wrists hurt and I am ready for bed and have a lot to do and get ready for before bed. Soooo maybe I will try random writing again later.

-SimplyK

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I have this habit of reading a few pages of a book and then I go and read the last sentence of the story. Sometimes I am happy and sometimes I am confused and most often I am indifferent. I am not entirely sure how to feel about this book yet. I have my assumptions though.

#currentlyreading #mysisterrosa