We Can Do This :)

[cwote]

The biggest lesson i’ve learned is, it’s okay. It’s okay to be kind to yourself. It’s okay to be wrong. It’s okay to get mad. It’s okay to be flawed. It’s okay to be happy. It’s okay to move on.

[koheletgirl]

Den Haag, Netherlands

[koheletgirl]

✨🌃💫🌉

[reachforrecovery]

There is no room for comparison in recovery.

Don’t compare yourself to those who do not have an eating disorder. 

Don’t compare yourself with those who have a different eating disorder. 

Don’t compare yourself with those who have the same eating disorder.

Everyone is unique, so every recovery will be different. Some people will gain quickly, some slowly. Some will take the mental challenges of recovery head on and others will avoid them. Some will be cleared to exercise in recovery and some will be on bed rest. Some will be given higher calorie meal plans and others will be allowed more flexibility in what they eat. 

There is no one size fits all recovery method because eating disorders are not simple. They are complex illnesses that often take a lifetime of mastery and mindfulness to stay on top of. 

The good news is that recovery from an eating disorder is a journey of self discovery. Don't compare your journey to someone elses. You are on different paths. 

[autumncozy]

[disneylifestylers-blog]

Adorable Disney Princess cupcakes. I have no idea who made these wonderful creations, if you do please let me know! #disney #disneyprincess #sleepingbeauty #tiana #Cinderella #pocahontas #mulan #jasmine #belle #rapunzel #snowwhite #Ariel #cupcake #disneycupcake

[radselfcare]

Tips for Setting Healthy Boundaries

Here are some tips for setting healthy boundaries, modified from the book, Boundaries: Where You End and I Begin, by Anne Katherine:

When you identify the need to set a boundary, do it clearly, preferably without anger, and in as few words as possible. Do not justify, apologize for, or rationalize the boundary you are setting. Do not argue! Just set the boundary calmly, firmly, clearly, and respectfully.

You can’t set a boundary and take care of someone else’s feelings at the same time. You are not responsible for the other person’s reaction to the boundary you are setting. You are only responsible for communicating the boundary in a respectful manner. If others get upset with you, that is their problem. If they no longer want your friendship, then you are probably better off without them. You do not need “friends” who disrespect your boundaries.

At first, you will probably feel selfish, guilty, or embarrassed when you set a boundary. Do it anyway, and tell yourself you have a right to take care of yourself. Setting boundaries takes practice and determination. Don’t let anxiety or low self-esteem prevent you from taking care of yourself.

When you feel anger or resentment, or find yourself whining or complaining, you probably need to set a boundary. Listen to yourself, then determine what you need to do or say. Then communicate your boundary assertively. When you are confident you can set healthy boundaries with others, you will have less need to put up walls.

When you set boundaries, you might be tested, especially by those accustomed to controlling you, abusing you, or manipulating you. Plan on it, expect it, but be firm. Remember, your behavior must match the boundaries you are setting. You can not establish a clear boundary successfully if you send a mixed message by apologizing for doing so. Be firm, clear, and respectful.

Most people are willing to respect your boundaries, but some are not. Be prepared to be firm about your boundaries when they are not being respected. If necessary, put up a wall by ending the relationship. In extreme cases, you might have to involve the police or judicial system by sending a no-contact letter or obtaining a restraining order.

Learning to set healthy boundaries takes time. It is a process. You will set boundaries when you are ready. It’s your growth in your own time frame, not what someone else tells you. Let your counselor or support group help you with pace and process.

Develop a support system of people who respect your right to set boundaries. Eliminate toxic persons from your life - those who want to manipulate you, abuse you, and control you.

Setting healthy boundaries allows your true self to emerge – and what an exciting journey that is.

[floeurs-deactivated20160216]

[moribundoll]

[the-taintedtruth]

Just because you miss someone, it doesn’t mean you should go back to them. Sometimes you have to just keep missing them until you wake up one morning and realise that you don’t anymore.

(via thiscircusofmine)

[agameochance]

[valyrianrosevance]

This is a phenomenon known as Diamond Dust, where the snowflakes and ice-particles  are so fine that they reflect light in just the right way to create rainbows in mid-air.

[ryan-reynolds]

Probably some Europian goodbye thing he picked up in London.

[jamesnord]

[lifeisrosyworld-deactivated2014]

[floralls]

. (by plexus solaire)

[shipsareforsomuchmore-deactivat]

One thing that really irks me on tumblr is that so many people are self-deprecating and talking about how they’re a shitty person and their mental illness has caused them to be selfish and push people away, and then two posts later, they gripe about how their friends left, or their parents are frustrated with their relapse or how no one invites them out anymore, but “it’s not my fault, it’s my mental illness! Why doesn’t anyone understand?!”

No. People don’t understand because there’s very little education on mental illness and there’s a lot of false information that gets spread around. But even if they did understand, do YOU understand how exhausting it can be to try to help someone with a mental illness? 

You say it yourself. It’s made you a shitty person. It’s made you selfish. And it’s made you push people away. 

If you had a friend like that, who you were trying your best to help, would you not lose your patience from time to time? Would you not have to take a break for the sake of your own mental health? Would you not have to focus on your own issues and the fact that you’ve got your own stresses as well? 

And don’t you DARE tell me for one minute that you wouldn’t. Don’t tell me you would drop everything for this friend whenever they needed you. Or that you wouldn’t need some space from them from time to time. Especially because you’ve probably got other friends coming to you with their struggles as well. 

I grew up with autistic siblings (that’s right… more than one). I’m dealing with mental illness myself. And I have numerous other friends who are also dealing with mental illness or were born with mental disabilities. You think, me of all people would be compassionate and able and willing to help anyone with mental illness/disabilities, right? Wrong. I have a family member with dementia and I cannot handle them. I know their behaviour is not entirely their fault, but I am always irritated and frustrated and angry with them. Because they don’t hold themselves accountable for their behaviour. They manipulate people left, right, and centre. So me, despite understanding, still isn’t able to be very helpful to them. 

I am willing to listen to just about anyone as long as they understand that they have a degree of responsibility and that sometimes, I may drop off the planet for a while. Because sometimes I become a selfish little shit who thinks only about herself and gets pissed off that my friends are off actually doing things with their lives. But I won’t blame them. And I won’t hold it against them. Because this life is mine. And they have their own lives to live. 

[jeanprouvaires]