MST3Knitathon

Sideblog for watching the 2016 Fan-voted Top 100 Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes from the 2016 kickstarter. We are watching in reverse order from 100 to 1, knitting all the while.

[mst3knitathon]

What is Mystery Science Theater 3000?

Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K for short) is a show whose premise is that mad scientists have marooned someone in space on a satellite and are forcing them to watch bad movies as part of a twisted experiment. To survive the experiment, they make fun of the movies as they watch them with the help of two robots that the initial test subject built out of parts of the satellite, and their efforts are then broadcast for our enjoyment.

The experiment has changed hands a few times over the course of the series run, with new mad scientists taking over and occasionally test subjects escaping and new ones being captured and sent to the satellite. But the format of the show has stayed mostly in tact over the years: the bulk of the episode is spent watching and "riffing" the movie, with a silhouette of theater seats over the bottom of the screen so you can see the human test subject and the bots as they mock the film. In between the theater segments, there are "host" segments* made up of video calls between the host and the mad scientists (Mads, for short), scenes of daily living on the satellite, and sketch comedy performances by the host and bots that are usually (but not always) reactions to what they've seen in the movie. There are some running gags and lore that carries over, but each episode mostly stands alone.

*The human subject of the experiment is also called the host of the show, because the characters are aware that their experiences are being broadcast as television.

The show initially ran from 1988-1999, first on a local Minnesota TV station called KTMA (1988-1989), then on the Comedy Central cable channel (1989-1996), and later on the SciFi Channel (1997-1999). New seasons were shot for Netflix in 2017 and 2018, and the showrunners managed to make a crowdfunded independent season in 2022 on their own streaming platform called the Gizmoplex. The original TV episodes show stream on the Gizmoplex for free, and on several other free-with-ads streamers and on official and fan-run YouTube channels.

What is this project?

To promote a kickstarter to fund the Netflix seasons, in 2016 MST3K fans were asked to vote for the top 100 episodes of the original series (not counting that first local television only season). I have lots of knitting to do, so I am watching the list from bottom to top while I knit, and writing about what I think of each episode. You are welcome to watch along with me, or reply with your own thoughts on any episodes you remember!

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9. Episode 301 Cave Dwellers

I am something like a week late writing this up, but I want to get to an MST3Knitalaundryfoldathon soon, so let's get to it. How much Keefe is in this movie? Why, there's Miles O'Keefe! (Introducing each episode with a notable riff seems fun for the Top Ten. I suppose I should have started that with Time Chasers but a) I didn't think of it, and b) what would I even have put for that one?

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

9. Episode 301 Cave Dwellers

Content Warning: Orientalism in the film, where one of the major characters is a wise, silent Asian warrior who literally never speaks on camera, and in the riff, where the riffers sometimes, but not always, attempt a Chinese accent while adding dialogue for him. Also, his actual credited character name is unfortunately Thong.

Summary: In the time of the cavemen/the barbarian sword and sandals times/the high middle ages/19th century Bavaria, a wise sage and regional ruler named Akrono is captured in an invasion by the warlord Zor, who is sometimes implied to be a former student of his and other times merely someone who wants to be Akronos's student. This is extra bad because Akronos has just discovered the "geometric nucleus," which is never fully explained, but might be nuclear weapons and/or atomic power in general? Which is obviously too powerful to allow Zor to get his hands on, so Akronos sends his daughter Mila to "the East" to seek out Ator, a warrior and former student of his whom Akronos believes is the only one strong enough to defeat Zor. We're treated to a very long recap of the first Ator movie (riffed in the Netflix seasons), none of which is at all relevant to this movie because it's all about Ator rescuing a wife who is now dead from an evil spider god cult and acquiring magic weapons that he noticeably does not use in this movie. (The actually relevant backstory, about Ator losing his wife Sunya, studying with Akronos, deciding to become a wandering hero, and meeting and befriending Thong, is rushed over in like two sentences of voice over because none of that happened in the first movie so they don't have any footage of it.) Mila, Ator, and Thong have a fantasy road-trip back to Akronos's castle, encountering obstacles, like enchanted fog, invisible warriors, a snake god cult and the monster they worship, and even, briefly, some cave dwellers, making the title of the movie only almost completely inaccurate instead of totally completely inaccurate. Meanwhile, Zor's daddy-issue like desire for Akronos's approval prevent him from torturing the location of the geometric nucleus out of him while he portrays the mincing but cruel gay villain stereotype in that turned up to 11 way that's offensive, but still fun to watch, often in a fabulous swan-shaped war helmet. Can Ator, the thinking barbarian, use both brains and brawn to defeat Zor's superior marshal forces? With the help of his feathered hair, fringed boots, giant swords, and tiny leather bikini, anything is possible.

MST3K lore or notable moments: I cannot tell you about the most notable moment from this movie. On the off-chance that there is anyone reading this who has not seen this episode yet, you must be surprised when it happens. If you've seen this episode, you know exactly what I'm talking about. If you haven't yet, trust me, you will know. There's also the fact that the protagonist looks like this:

Joel's great Art of Foley sketch:

And it ends with a fantastic boggle and rant about the badness of the movie and a classic, "What do you want? We're supposed to be evil!" from Dr. F and TV's Frank. (Could not find that one on YouTube, but if anyone has a link to the clip, I'll post it too.)

What do I think about its place on the list? You know how I'm always complaining about the 80s movies? I find them charmless, they bum me out, it's not as fun to watch the riffers make fun of them as the movies from other eras ... Guys, this one's my favorite. Not my favorite 80s movie episode, not my favorite sword and sorcery. This is my favorite episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. I love every frame of this deeply stupid movie, and of the episode surrounding it. I love the genuine attempts to make Ator, Thong, Mila, and Akronos demonstrate that they are intellectual warriors and how goofy most of them are; I love everyone's ridiculous wardrobe; I love that every time they travel ten feet they're in a different time period like an episode of Xena: Warrior Princess; I hate that Thong is a stereotype and doesn't talk, but I love watching him do genuinely clever things in the background but still wait until all the mini-skirted extras are killed before intervening to save Ator and/or Mila; I love Ator's attempts to emote instead of be a stoic warrior (NooOoo); I love the riff ("I bet he built that horse." "Yeah. Out of mud and sticks."); I love the sketches (especially the Foley meat-slappers). Ator and Thong made a Ye Olde Bowflex out of rocks and string so that they can work out better! I am not surprised that the number one voted episode, when we get to it, was the number one voted episode. I would have been shocked if it was anything else. And I can see a few places where this episode lacks some of the polish MST3K would develop even in the latter half of season 3. But this is my blog and this is my favorite. Cave Dwellers is the best episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000 - the currently voted number one can get knocked down to number two.

[Two fun things that didn't fit anywhere in the write-up: 1) The legend of this movie is that director Joe D'amato was meant to be making an unrelated movie about cave dwellers when funding fell through while he was on set filming, and since he had cast actor and bodybuilder Miles O'Keefe, star of Ator I, in a new role in this canceled film, the cast and crew just decided to improvise an Ator sequel instead, which, if true, would explain so much about this movie. 2) Some bad movie aficionados have theorized that, rather than the past, as the narrator claims, Ator II Cave Dwellers (and by extension the rest of the Ator series) actually takes place in a post-nuclear-apocolyptic future where society has regressed, and that's why all the settings seem to have different time periods (they're at different stages of rebuilding) and Akronos was just able to discover nuclear power (it's a relic, not an invention). Which would actually make a lot of sense, but is not implied by anything in the film.]

[emilysidhe]

Knitting finished as of last night! Still need to weave in a few ends, wash, and block.

Was aiming for 48” x 60”, came out 39” x 60” so far, but I’m hoping to be able to block it to a little wider and I’m ok losing a few inches of length for that

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MST3Knitathon blanket! Took me through Cavedwellers and half of Werewolf to finish the I-chord bind-off

[pollsforadults]

You get transported into the universe of the last media you consumed. How are you doing?

This is better than my real life

I'm doing well

I'm doing fine

I'm not having a good time

I'm absolutely cooked

There is nothing different about this universe and my own

Voting ended onMay 29

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10. Episode 821 Time Chasers

I forgot how time-consuming an I-chord bindoff is over here on MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finally finish this blanket while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of the original run of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order from bottom to top. We've finally reached the top ten!

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

10. Episode 821 Time Chasers

Summary: In 1991 Vermont, a college physics professor (whose actor desperately wants to be Richard Dreyfuss and is not) has invented a device that can take a light engine plane backward or forward in time. Having run out of funding, he tricks an executive from a major technology company and a reporter for the local paper into coming along on a demonstration flight to 50 years into the future so that he can trade access to his technology for a research grant. But when he and the reporter return to the future on a date, they find that whatever the CEO has done with the time travel technology has turned the future city into a post-apocolyptic wasteland! Unable to regain control of his invention due to laws around eminent domain of potential military tech, inventor and reporter head back in time to stop his past self from giving the demonstration. The evil CEO follows to violently prevent them from changing the past, and what follows is theoretically a race through time to prevent or preserve the development of time travel technology. In reality, it's just a bunch of pointless, drawn-out action scenes between each step of plot trying to draw everything out to movie length.

MST3K lore or notable moments: Inspired by the movie, Crow travels back to 1985 to convince young Mike to stop taking temp jobs and focus on his band so that he never winds up in Deep 13 and Dr. F and TV's Frank don't get the chance to shoot him into space. But back on the Satellite, Mike has been replaced by his crude older brother Eddie, who bullies the bots and reveals Mike's tragic early death on stage, bludgeoned by hotel keys thrown by over-enthusiastic female fans. Crow must go back again to undo what he changed, but "Eddie's" in the theater for a bit while this is going on, and Pearl points out at the end that all the time travel shenanigans have left one iteration of Crow in 1985. (Is this how he became Art and met Pearl pre-series?) (Also, Brain Guy attempts a joke by breaking into the movie credits with a fake promo for "Observer News," before rapidly losing all confidence in the bit and breaking down to apologize for it.)

What I think about its place on the list? I really liked the bookend sketches of Mike visiting Pearl in the van like they're Midwestern neighbors coming over to each other's stoops. Extremely fun Mike-and-Pearl dynamic! And the Observer cutting in to the movie credits was a delight! I don't think anything in the "Crow goes back in time" plot actually made me laugh, but it was a reasonably fun and entertaining storyline, and it was interesting watching "Eddie" in the theater segments. (Though I go back and forth between thinking that they could have done even more with the contrast between "Eddie's" style of riffing and Mike's, or if making the contrast starker would have been too jarring over the length of time that "Eddie" was in the theater.) As for the movie, it has something of a sweet community theater vibe to it as the number of locations they were able to film in and the number of extras moving through scenes show a lot of local support behind the film (and the sheer number of people and groups they had to thank!) But unfortunately, the movie can't seem to do anything with the resources that it does have. The movie gets potentially interesting in a couple of places - once where past timeline Lisa and Nick start investigating the time anomalies caused by their future selves trying to reach them, and Lisa's own body is identified in the wreckage of the plane crash she's reporting on. If the script had figured out a way to make the latter half of the movie focus more on the past timeline characters trying to put together what was going on, with past!Lisa using her investigative reporter skills to try to discern what both the villain and their future selves were doing in order to help effect events and past!Nick learning from his future self's mistakes, that immediately would have improved things. The second time it gets potentially fun is when the CEO decides to take future!Nick back to the American Revolution to kill him so that his body blends in among the war dead and its discovery doesn't cause any paradoxes, and a whole slew of Revolutionary War re-enactors who've definitely supplied their own props and costumes show up. When the citizens and officials of Rutland, Vermont give you a veritable army of historically accurate Minute Men, do something with them (besides padding)! They don't even get to shoot the bad guy! I want that man taking a musketball to the shoulder! Which yes, is all great riffing fodder (I especially love Tom Servo doing the countdown along with timer and having to keep going back because they are stretching out the seconds), but this is still the first top ten episode that I'm going to call over-rated. It's a good episode of MST3K - in some moments it's a great episode of MST3K! - but compared to the rest of the top 10 list, or even to everything else that made the top 15, this is the comparatively most forgettable episode. If you watch this episode, you'll probably enjoy it, but I can't really say that there's anything particular you would miss if you skip this one. (There's Eddie in the theater, but we had Pearl in the theater during Quest of the Delta Knights and that only made it to 62 on the list.) The extra Crow lore and Brain Guy's fun break in to the theater just isn't enough to make this one the tenth best MST3K episode of all time (pre-Netflix). At least, not in my opinion. What do you all think? Is this anyone's particular favorite, and if so, what are the things about it that you love that I'm missing?

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Welcome to MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finish knitting an afghan in time to give it as a gift in an upcoming bridal shower while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order from bottom to top.

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

24. Episode 908 The Touch of Satan

Summary: Someone made half of a potentially good movie, but instead of finishing it, just filled in the blanks with a lot of portentous pauses. In the 1970s, Jodie, a young man taking a gap-year road trip while he decides whether to follow his father into law practice or pursue another trade, drifts on to a walnut farm where he meets beautiful Melissa, her parents Molly and Luther, and her mysterious great-grandmother Lucinda who carries a doll like a child, has facial burn scars, and secretly sneaks out of the house to murder people with farm implements. But actually, Melissa and Lucinda are sisters, both over 120 years old. When they were teenagers, plague came to their town and a mob tried to burn Lucinda as a witch, prompting Melissa to sell her soul to the devil for the power to save her sister, and she has lived with this terrible secret ever since. Who, then, are Molly and Luther (since they are not the girls' parents), and what is their relationship to Melissa and Lucinda? The movie never tells us. Was Lucinda ever actually a witch, since Melissa is the only one who seems to have powers? The movie never tells us. Are the secret murders related to the witchcraft, and if so, how? The movie never tells us. What does Melissa mean in the beginning of the movie when she tells Luther that there's "a way" to stop the murders, given that she seems to be the one keeping Lucinda protected, and why does Lucinda tell Jodie to "go away" when she's the one attacking people? The movie never tells us. At the end, Lucinda knocks over an oil lamp while attacking Jodie and Melissa finally lets her burn. Repentance will not get Melissa her soul back, but sex with Jodie somehow does. But when this causes her to decay rapidly to her true age, Jodie sells his soul to restore her youth, and the cycle begins anew. Given this sequence of events, and the heavy featuring of Amazing Grace in the soundtrack, there's a potential for this movie to be saying something about grace. What is it? Instead of adding scenes to address or clarify any of these questions, the movie just pads time by making all the actors take significant pauses before reacting to or saying anything.

MST3K lore or notable moments: Pearl is away on vacation this episode, so the MST3K costume and prop mistress guest stars as Bobo and Brain Guy's babysitter Steffi, who thinks that Brain Guy is a toddler and Bobo is a dog. We hear her over the closing credits admonishing Bobo not to bark.

What do I think about its place on the list? This was a tricky one for me, because simultaneously I like the episode - it was a good riff, the jokes successfully keep the movie from dragging, and I liked the Steffi sketches - but I also feel like top 25 is too high. It just doesn't seem as iconic as the episodes that have preceded it, event the ones that I said were not as beloved by me as their fan favorite status would suggest. Top 50 but not top 25 is where I would probably place it. (It did, interestingly, feel like kind of a throwback in terms of the style of the show - we're in the middle of the SciFi era here, but for some reason the riff had Comedy Central vibes for me, which was interesting.) What do you all think?

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

I LOVE this episode

There are so many fun silly riffs and skits in this episode ("Those walnuts are TEARIN' through the hay!" "I have two grandmas, this one stabs people" "Already made a cool million...haven't even sold a single pecan!") and the movie itself is near Manos levels in terms of how bad its script is

[titans-thoughts]

"Just a touch of Satan, too much ruins the whole recipe."

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

"The American Gothic people take revenge!"

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You know, I think maybe I just have to watch this episode a few more times to let the riffs sink in? I've only seen it once before watching it again for this project, and I didn't remember anything except Steffi. I was probably too distracted trying to figure out what was going on in the movie to really appreciate it.

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All my Memorial Day weekend plans got rained out, so in between the absolutely oceans of housework I have, the plan is to resume MST3Knitathon and finally get started on the top ten. I've been looking ahead at the list, and spoiler alert, with the standards for a top ten episode so high, I'm planning to call fully half the episodes on the list overrated!

Gonna start so many nerd fights over here!

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MST3Knitathon: The Top 25 (but not the top 10)

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

11. Overdrawn At The Memory Bank - (822)

12. I Accuse My Parents - (507)

13. Eegah! - (506)

14. Gamera - (302)

15. Prince of Space - (816)

16. Hobgoblins - (907)

17. Laserblast - (706)

18. Soultaker - (1001)

19. Godzilla vs. Megalon - (212)

20. Jack Frost - (813)

21. Santa Claus - (521)

22. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders - (1003)

23. The Brain That Wouldn't Die - (513)

24. The Touch of Satan - (908)

25. Teenagers from Outer Space - (404)

Retrospective on Episodes 26-50

Retrospective on Episodes 51-75

Retrospective on Episodes 76-90

Retrospective on Episodes 91-100

Overall thoughts: I've been a fan for a long time, but I never actually finished the one time I attempted to do a full series watch through, so it's surprising to me that there's still a couple of new-to-me episodes even up this high! There's a lot of perennial favorites of mine here mixed in with what I recognize are also very good episodes, but not personal favorites of mine. Most of the non-personal-favorites I suspect would grow on me after repeated rewatches. Sometimes it takes a while for all the riffs to land properly!

Overrated Episodes: While I quibbled a bit about the exact rankings of some of these in my write-ups, I don't think this bracket has anything that I'd really call "over-rated," with the possible exception of Hobgoblins. I definitely get why that's a memorable episode, but the movie is often too irritating for me to enjoy laughing at quite as much as I do the others. (Me and my problem with the 80s movies again, most likely). Everything else on this section of the list is very good and/or iconic for one reason or another.

Underrated Episodes: I Accuse My Parents and probably Jack Frost deserve top 10 spots, and I suspect all the Gameras and both Godzillas were artificially lowered by having their votes split across multiple episodes. Wonder where they would have shown up in a ranked choice voting list!

Must-sees for MSTies: For show history, The Brain that Wouldn't Die (Mike's first episode as host), Laserblast (end of the Comedy Central era), and Soultaker (Joel and Frank return as guest stars). For iconic-ness, Gamera (monster most associated with MST3K), Godzilla vs Megalon (one of only two times they've gotten to do Godzilla), and Santa Claus (one of only two Christmas episodes in the original run). For just being really high quality MST3K episodes, you could really add the rest of the list, but I'm going to pull out Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, I Accuse My Parents, and Jack Frost for special consideration.

Good on-boardings for new fans? Wait until December and then watch Santa Claus! But if you want something non-festive, The Touch of Satan or Eegah! are probably your best options if you want a good episode about a bad movie, and I Accuse My Parents or Jack Frost if you want a good episode about a surprisingly watchable movie. Teenagers from Outer Space is also a good choice for first episode of MST3K to watch, with a cheesy but charming movie!

[punchdrunkklovesickk]

SO WHAT WAS THE POINT????????????????

[mst3knitathon]

This is a real shame, but unfortunately not a surprise. There were some statements around the time that the fundraiser for season 14 failed about trying again with a corporate sponsor as well, but we haven't heard anything in a long time, and the MST3K podcasters I listen to have mentioned that Joel has a tendency to abruptly quit projects at small hurdles.

I am really disappointed that we won't (barring future developments) get to see more hosting from Jonah and Emily, who each brought really great sensibilities to the Satellite of Love, and I would have loved to see each of them continue to develop as host.

I think the Gizmoplex season did a really great job of maintaining the virtues of the Netflix seasons (updated cultural references ("hey, that was from my childhood, not Joel' and Frank's childhoods!); non-reliance on offensive jokes and stereotypes) but ditching the Netflix-era over-polish for a return to the off-beat, handmade charm of the original run.

As a complete season taken together (instead of looking at individual episodes), the Gizmoplex was probably my favorite season of the show since Season 5. It's a shame we won't get another one.

But if there's any MSTies who haven't checked it out yet, it's definitely worth getting for the download!

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MST3Knitathon: The Top 50 (but not top 25)

For those just joining us, I've spent about a year watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from bottom to top while working on various time-sensitive knitting projects. Here's what I thought about the episodes that made the top 50, but not the top 25:

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

covered in this section:

26. The Day the Earth Froze - (422)

27. Warrior of the Lost World - (501)

28. The Giant Spider Invasion - (810)

29. Catalina Caper - (204)

30. Fugitive Alien - (310)

31. Master Ninja I - (322)

32. Time of the Apes - (306)

33. Gamera vs. Guiron - (312)

34. Final Justice - (1008)

35. Boggy Creek II - (1006)

36. Riding with Death - (814)

37. The Side Hackers - (202)

38. Outlaw (Of Gor) - (519)

39. Future War - (1004)

40. Monster A-Go-Go - (421)

41. "Parts": The Clonus Horror - (811)

42. The Killer Shrews - (407)

43. The Giant Gila Monster - (402)

44. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell - (703)

45. Red Zone Cuba - (619)

46. The Girl in Gold Boots - (1002)

47. Alien From L.A. - (516)

48. Hercules Against The Moon Men - (410)

49. Diabolik - (1013)

50. Horror Of Party Beach - (817)

Retrospective on Episodes 51-75

Retrospective on Episodes 76-90

Retrospective on Episodes 90-100

Overall thoughts: The higher I get on the list, the harder it is to really distinguish between the tiers. This is almost a list of 100 good episodes of MST3K in random order rather than a ranking where the episodes get notably better as you move up. Most of the episodes up this high are memorable for one reason or another, though.

Overrated Episodes: I didn't care for Boggy Creek II - (1006), and I was underwhelmed by Alien From L.A. - (516). I think I take back what I said about Warrior of the Lost World and Giant Spider Invasion being just a smidge overrated in their fan-favorite status - while I don't necessarily find them that much better than the episodes at the bottom of this tier, they are both good and memorable episodes and I think I was just reacting to the realization that the exact rankings of the list are somewhat arbitrary. Sidehackers is a good episode, but I think it's history of the franchise status in being the movie that made them start screening their films is giving it more of a boost than it quite deserves.

Underrated Episodes: Catalina Caper - (204) is a top ten MST3K episode and I will die on this hill! Also, 26. The Day the Earth Froze - (422) really should have gotten a top 25 spot and likely would have if it hadn't split the vote with Jack Frost (coming up in the next tier). 33. Gamera vs. Guiron - (312) is in the same boat, as it's virtually tied with Gamera (the first one) for quality and yet lower down, I assume because of a split vote. That one probably should move up too, if we can find enough top 25 episodes to move down.

Must-sees for MSTies: Diabolik as the final episode, Hercules Against the Moon Men for the Deep Hurting, Red Zone Cuba to finish the Coleman Francis trilogy, Monster A-Go-Go for sheer weirdness, Sidehackers for the show history, Gamera vs Guiron as one of their best Gameras, Time of the Apes for more weirdness factor, and everything from rank 30 and up (Fugitive Alien, Catalina Caper, The Giant Spider Invasion, Warrior of the Lost World, and The Day the Earth Froze) for being so beloved by fans that you must see what you think of them. Somewhere out there are MSTies as outraged that The Giant Spider Invasion didn't make the top 10 list as I am that Catalina Caper didn't. There's already a lot here, but I'm tempted to also throw in The Killer Shrews for the notoriously bad "monsters" and The Giant Gila Monster for the call-backs it generated and just for being fun.

Good on-boardings for new fans? Gamera vs Guiron might work really well for this, even though I don't usually recommend starting with a Gamera or a Godzilla, as the dub is bad enough to deserve the riff and the weirdness of the movie is fantastic. It's the Gamera episode to watch (or to show someone else) if you're only going to see one. Other possibilities are The Giant Gila Monster as one of their more fun generic monster movies, Parts: the Clonus Horror as memorably but not painfully bad scifi, and I'd say maybe Horror of Party Beach if you want to start someone off with a stinker with a good riff that's still somewhat watchable, but be aware of the stock black maid character before committing. Maybe also Warrior of the Lost World or The Girl in Gold Boots if you're looking for just a good, solid episode to be a fun watch.

Fellow MSTies, what are your thoughts about the episodes from this tier? Are any of these your go-to episodes for forcing a new friend to watch MST3K?

[mst3knitathon]

MST3Knitathon Update

The blanket I was marathon-knitting was for a bridal shower that actually happened 10 days ago. As I went radio-silent, I was actually frantically knitting every day when I got home from work trying to finish on time, and did make it through half of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 top ten list without writing anything up ... but frustratingly close to finishing (seriously I was 4 inches from the end), I had to face reality and accept that even if I finished the actual knitting, there was no way the blanket would actually dry in time after being washed and blocked. So it's now going to be a wedding gift, which means I have until the middle of June to finish it.

The good news is, I still have enough knitting to make continuing to watch and write about the top 100 episodes of MST3K worth it. The bad news is that I am now resting my hand and arm to prevent repetitive strain (no pain, but I am experiencing signs that I may have overdone it), so no more knitting for me for at least another week and a half.

I plan to write up the retrospectives for the top 50 and top 25, and then I will start watching again with the beginning of the top 10 since I didn't write anything about those and they all stand up to rewatching. I may put one or two up before the knitting hiatus is over while folding laundry. Then it's back to the blanket and some sort of regular schedule!

I knit a little bit more during virtual DnD on Friday before deciding it was too soon, so I have 4 remaining pattern rows left, an I-chord bind off, and then picking up stitches along the cast-on row and doing another I-chord bind off there because I didn't realize I was going to want one and therefore didn't do an I-chord cast on. Then it's just weave in ends, wash, and block.

Here's how close I got to the end before I finally stopped knitting and gave up on finishing on time for the shower:

[mst3kgifs]

Is this still the officially-sanctioned boring part?

[mst3knitathon]

11. Episode 822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

If I stay up late again tonight, I might just be able to get the blanket finished and start blocking, which is my goal. Welcome to MST3Knitathon, where I devote an unwise amount of hours to knitting a gift blanket while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in reverse order. Last night got us almost to the top ten with:

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

11. Episode 822 Overdrawn at the Memory Bank

Summary: It’s an overly ambitious attempt to make a high-concept sci-fi movie for public television. It’s a love letter to the movie Casablanca. It’s an opportunity to watch special effects artists get really excited about ‘80s computer graphics. It’s a confusing, but visually endearing, mess. It stars Raul Julia.

In the high tech capitalist-dystopian future, films have been banned for all but the highest ranked executives in the megacorp that owns the world. Instead, workers save their credits for expensive “doppling” vacations, where their brains are temporarily implanted into an animal’s body so that they can vicariously experience life at its most primal, instinctual level. A low-level data entry drone who’s secretly good at hacking breaks into the banned cinemas file and starts watching Casablanca on company time. He’s assigned a mandatory dopple weekend as rehabilitation therapy, but when a kid touring the doppling facility mischievously switches the labels on two comatose figures, his body is lost and his brain is uploaded to the main computer to protect it while his body is found. In the computer, he inhabits a virtual reality simulation that switches between a facsimile of his real life and the imagined setting of Casablanca. Meanwhile, the female technician in charge of his dopple remotely interfaces with his fantasies to keep track of his computerized mind and to try to keep his alterations to his virtual reality from altering the real world systems that the main computer also controls. The chairman of the company also interfaces with the fantasy world, theoretically to prevent the protagonist from using his presence in the computer for intentional hacking, but really for the sake of having a villain, and the more his avatar conflicts with both the protagonist and the tech who is acting on his orders anyway, the less sense the movie makes and the more confusing it is what’s actually going on.

MST3K lore or notable moments: Pearl’s Loving Lovers Love song:

Also, Ortega from The Incredibly Strange Creatures visits to man that phone bank for Pearl’s scam public television pledge drive. We also see Mike’s Lord of the Dance sketch from Jack Frost as an example of Public Pearl’s programming.

What do I think about it’s place on the list? I’m about to get to the top ten list and deride more than one fan-favorite episode from the SciFi era as overrated, so for the record I would like to state that this one genuinely is fantastic and if it doesn’t make it into my final top ten list, that will be because it occupies the same spot that it does here: just barely nudged out by more memorable episodes.

Also for the record, I’ve always assumed that if I tracked down and read the original science fiction story this movie was based on, all the stuff about the mega-corp and the virtual battle with the chairman and the mainframe hacking through virtual reality would be developed and make more sense. But Chris of the It’s Just A Show podcast has tracked down and read it for us, and it turns out the original short story had a much simpler plot about the disembodied protagonist and the technician helping him falling in love in virtual reality despite never having met in the real world (and a little bit about time dilation because a year passes in the virtual world while only a day goes by in the real one), and all the confusing stuff was added to stretch the plot to movie length.

[mst3knitathon]

12. Episode 507 I Accuse My Parents

Can you not add a title to a post on mobile? That’s weird. Anyway, you know the drill - approaching a year on from when I started this sideblog, I am once again seriously behind on knitting an afghan for a wedding gift, so I’m marathoning the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 while desperately speed knitting:

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

12. Episode 507 I Accuse My Parents

Summary: We start with a short, The Truck Farmer, which tells America how modern farming technology allows vegetables to be delivered year round. Joel and the bots comment on how exploitative modern farming is of the field workers while the narrator proclaims the glory of progress.

In the film proper - On trial for manslaughter, clean-cut young Jimmy accuses his parents of having caused his downfall through their neglect. In flashback, we see him confabulate an elaborate fantasy of devoted parents to win a high school essay contest, meet and romantically connect with singer Kitty Reid on his first day of work at a shoe store, and get hoodwinked into an unknowing life of crime by Kitty’s boss, who decides that he needs an innocent-faced kid to carry his stolen goods around and so invites himself along on Jimmy and Kitty’s date, intentionally orders more than Jimmy can afford to cover, and then offers him a suspiciously high amount to deliver packages and messages for him after working hours. Through all this, Jimmy tries to tell his parents about his life, but they just give him cash before heading out to play cards, go drinking, or have impromptu weekend getaways with their other rich friends. As Jimmy drifts blindly into the criminal network with no bona fide adult to tell him how suspicious it all sounds, the question remains - are his parents to blame, or is Jimmy just stupid?

MST3K lore or notable moments: This is one of their iconic episodes, but I don’t think there are any particular moments that stand out so much as the episode itself in full is well-regarded. The Truck Farming short gets called back during other educational shorts.

What do I think about it’s place on the list? This is one of their best. It definitely has a place in my top ten, and will probably wind up in the top five once I’ve shuffled the order around after finishing the rewatch. It’s a deeply silly and deeply earnest movie made with unusual competence for an MST3K flick, and the way Joel and the bots engage with it in the sketches and the riff is some of their best work. A real all time favorite that should have gotten one of the top ten spots.

[mst3knitathon]

13. Episode 506 Eegah!

It's gonna be another late-nighter here at MST3Knitathon, my attempt to finish this blanket on time(!) while watching the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000 from bottom to top

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

13. Episode 506 Eegah!

Content Warning: The specter of sexual assault hangs over this movie

Summary: In the desert in the sixties, a young woman hits a mysterious caveman giant with her car on a lonely road. She, her father, and her boyfriend set out into the desert to prove that she wasn't hallucinating what she saw, and she and her father wind up getting picked up by the giant and taken to his cave, where they see evidence that his family has lived there since prehistory, but that he is the last remaining. The giant is well-intentioned, but has a caveman's understanding of how mating works, so the woman and her father spend much of the movie coming up with ways to distract him so he won't force himself on her. They call him Eegah because that is the grunt he makes most often. They eventually escape the cave with the help of the young woman's boyfriend, and the giant pursues them to civilization where the police shoot him to death at the edge of a pool and the father incongruously quotes Genesis re: the existence of prehistoric giants. Fin. (Also, the boyfriend is played by Arch Hall Jr, the son of director Arch Hall Sr who made a number of bad movies trying to propel his son to stardom. He "sings" and "plays guitar" several times in the movie.)

MST3K lore or notable moments: I forgot this was the "Watch out for snakes!" episode! There's a few lines in this movie added in after filming with bad ADR where you either can't tell who's talking or the person who's meant to be talking is visible with their mouth not moving while the line is being spoken. An early one of these is the first investigation in the desert scene, where an unseen mystery voice calls, "Watch out for snakes!" This becomes a frequent callback.

What do I think about its place on the list? Great episode! Gross movie, but a stellar riff, and everything moves along at a good pace. One of their most memorable features, and they always have me laughing. They're a bit mean about poor Arch Hall Jr's appearance, but they're sadly not wrong about him looking like the bat from Fern Gully. No change.

[mst3knitathon]

14. Episode 302 Gamera

I'm knitting my way through the fan-voted top 100 episodes of Mystery Science Theater 3000, and typing takes me away from knitting (blanket must be finished in 4 days)

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

14. Episode 302 Gamera

Content Warning: 1) The movie opens with a scientific expedition talking to arctic indigenous people, and the English dub consistently uses a term for them that is now recognized as a slur 2) this is unfortunately also an episode that contains offensive riffs about the movie being Japanese; the bit where the scientist and his daughter are on an American talk show is particularly offensive EDIT: I suppose I should also warn for the fact that the "arctic indigenous people" are probably just Japanese actors pretending.

Summary: In this first offering in the Gamera series, we see our giant turtle friend treated to a mostly serious kaiju movie. Japanese scientists are doing research in the arctic, including a zoologist who wants to question the local indigenous people about their giant turtle legends, which he believes are genuine oral histories of an ancient or perhaps even alien creature who once lived in the region. While they are there, American jets shoot down two planes that refuse to identify themselves over radio or be escorted to the American base, and the explosion proves that they were carrying nuclear weapons. The blast frees Gamera from the arctic ice sheet, and it destroys the research ship before heading around the world in search of fire and heat energy, which it uses as a food supply. Gamera destroys many cities and installations in pursuit of more fire. Meanwhile in Japan, a sad boy named Kenny is forced to release his pet turtle Tibby into the wild because his family fears that his obsession with it is making him anti-social. When Gamera attacks the village soon afterwards, it makes what seems to be a conscious decision to save Kenny, catching him from a collapsing lighthouse and depositing him safely on the ground. Because of this, Kenny believes that Gamera loves children and has a special bond with him specifically due to his love of turtles, and continuously sneaks into evacuated areas and military projects trying to convince people that Gamera is good. In the end, the world comes together to implement Plan Z, altering a multi-national UN lead rocketship meant to explore Mars into a trap that will send Gamera (immune to or strengthened by conventional weapons) out into space, with both the US and the Soviet Union collaborating to help Japan with the project. The lead scientist makes a speech about how only through international collaboration can the world's problems be solved, and Kenny resolves to become an astronaut in order to visit Gamera on Mars.

MST3K lore or notable moments: 1) it's our first Gamera episode, 2) Tom Servo's Tibby song:

3) Mike's cynical Gamera impression; 4) In contrast to how this usually goes, Joel thanks the Mads for sending them a movie that wasn't actually all that bad and receives an electric shock for his trouble.

What do I think about its place on the list? I agree with Joel that the original Gamera movie isn't actually a bad movie in the sense of their usual fare. It's surprisingly effective at building suspense and mystery, perspective work blending the miniatures and models with real shots, and making the original Gamera suit seem scary. There's still some Gamera-typical goofiness in the details of "Plan Z," which we don't actually learn until late in the movie, and the contrast between Gamera's destructiveness and the bond with Kenny that never makes all that much sense, but there's a lot that works. (Incidentally, re: Kenny, the adults in his life come down way too hard on him for harmless things like becoming a bit too emotionally invested in his pet turtle after the death of his mother, and then are way too indulgent with him when it comes to shit like running away during an emergency evacuation to stowaway on a military explosives train in the hopes of seeing Gamera again; no wonder this kid is messed up.) I think I do have to give the "best Gamera episode" label to the original Gamera rather than Gamera vs Guiron, if only because Gamera vs Guiron wouldn't be as fun as it is if we hadn't started here. This is another one that's in the running for the last few slots of my eventual top ten list, though more for the importance of Gamera overall to the show than for the excellence of this single episode. (Coda: RE, the content warning. In another Gamera episode (I think it might have been vs Barugon?), they are making fun of the Japanese names in the credits when Crow asks Joel something like, "Do you think there's people in Japan right now making fun of the names in American movie credits?" and Joel responds, "I would assume so." It's a nice humanizing moment, and I think things like it, plus Joel admitting that he didn't think Gamera was that bad, have led fans to overlook that his era of the show was also prone to in-poor-taste jokes. I don't want to call out the trio of Mike, Kevin, and Bill for their unfortunate riffing decisions while not holding Joel, Kevin, and Trace to the same standards. So, boo on them for the fake Japanese during the talk show scene, shame on you!)

[mst3knitathon]

15. Episode 816 Prince of Space

I'm on my last skein of yarn with this blanket, so now a game of yarn chicken is added to the pressure of, "Will I finish this no later than Wednesday so that I can block and dry it before the shower?" Good thing I have Mystery Science Theater 3000 to help me out, as I continue with MST3Knitathon, watching my way through the fan-voted top 100 Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode list from top to bottom to grant me the strength to just keep knitting.

Top 100 Episodes of MST3K

A list of the Top 100 Episodes of MST3K was compiled based on a survey taken of backers of the Bring Back MYSTERY SCIENCE THEATER 3000 campa

15. Episode 816 Prince of Space

Content Warning: Like Invasion of the Neptune Men, there are too many Japan jokes.

Summary: Wally the humble bootblack spends his days shining shoes, assisting the local scientist in his laboratory, and raising two orphaned children whom he has taken in. But unbeknownst to anyone else, Wally is also the alien(?) Prince of Space, with his own futuristic space ship, laser cane, immunity to weapons of all kinds, and groovy cape, mask and crown ensemble. When the local scientist invents a new kind of rocket fuel, Earth is invaded by the chicken-like Phantom of Krankor, who wishes to steal it for himself. In a confusing series of scenes cut from a much longer story arc on Japanese television, the Prince of Space defends the Earth, recovers the stolen fuel formula, and rescues a childlike and helpless group of Earth's most famous scientists from imprisonment on Krankor itself, while keeping his identity a secret from his children and his human friends. (To keep viewers just tuning in up to speed, the aliens constantly forget that their guns don't work on Prince of Space and have to be verbally reminded several times.)

MST3K lore or notable moments: Pearl drags the Satellite of Love with her through a wormhole in pursuit of Bobo, who drifted in there looking for a private place for a space potty break. In the wormhole, reality warps and shifts, bringing the characters out of sync in time, briefly turning Mike into a puppet (retained during a film segment), transforming the Satellite interior into a sunny woodland, and finally dropping everyone off back on Earth, but in Roman times.

What do I think about its place on the list? You know, the "we'll make unfortunate jokes about the fact that this movie was made in Japan as if that in itself is funny" thing has not been absent during the Gameras, Godzillas, and Times of the Apes in the Joel era, despite the reputation for nasty or offensive riffs being chiefly a later seasons of MST3K problem. This is one of the episodes that unfortunately earned the SciFi channel seasons this reputation, though it's not quite as bad here as it will be in the Invasion of the Neptune Men follow up episode. One of the main problems here is that they front-load a lot of the jokes about cram school, sushi, and violent and sexual anime right in the beginning so that they can do occasional callbacks later, and it's a lot to take in close succession. Which is a shame, because apart from that, it's a delightful episode with a goofy movie, a strong riff, and some memorably odd sketches. (The visual of Mike and the bots outside on a sunny day is more striking than it has any right to be.) The film does start to drag severely towards the end with all the repetitive action that goes nowhere, but the riffs keep going strong. I liked this episode, but not nearly as much as the ones that are coming up next, and the lore stuff here is not nearly as rank-boosting as stuff like Joel and Frank's return or the last Comedy Central episode. I wouldn't have a problem with this being top 50 or even lower down in the top 25, but 15th best episode is just too high.