rayan he/him arab lesbian
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ ao3
fair warning: this blog is dedicated to my one & only, my oceanshaker, my mountain mover, my sophia, the maple-flavoured syrup to my waffle-textured frozen breakfast product, grace
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oozey mess
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hello vonnie

Janaina Medeiros
DEAR READER

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ellievsbear
will byers stan first human second
Jules of Nature
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Today's Document

JVL
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@muffvins
rayan he/him arab lesbian
°❀⋆.ೃ࿔*:・ ao3
fair warning: this blog is dedicated to my one & only, my oceanshaker, my mountain mover, my sophia, the maple-flavoured syrup to my waffle-textured frozen breakfast product, grace
i can’t believe they are cancelling you for writing peak
btw, full disclosure: i am not going around leaving hate comments on people’s fics and in people’s tumblr inboxes 😭 i think playing moral olympics is stupid and i do not endorse spreading hate on anyone’s pages!! i have neither the time nor the interest to argue with anyone. everyone is entitled to their own opinions and never have i claimed to be against having that right. i made one (1) controversial post and have not talked about it ever since. i am not trying to indoctrinate anyone into adhering to my preferences. please do not paint me as a villain trying to pick fights, thanks… idk who is going around initiating these debates in your inboxes and that one anon’s comment section but it isn’t me or any of my friends. we simply do not have the luxury to do all that 🚬 i haven’t insulted anyone and i don’t intend on starting now, even if i am on trial and perhaps would be justified in doing so. it’s simply not that serious. P.S. the giftfic was cunty as fuck btw like wow that’s familia. the big leagues were calling
also please cancel rayan too please thanks. idk why i’m the only face of shch noncon when he was the one who sent the ask. why is no one conjuring thinkpieces on him. why is it star and co when it should be starayan and co? #rayan is over
ringing in the new year with sprinkles of orphia + eurydinon + a handful of other timelines 🤲
happiest of birthdays sophia i sure hope u kiss a certain bandmate as the clock strikes & post a photo of u kissing said bandmate
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Blah blah blah proper name proper name backstory stuff
i dream of you always.
i dream of you now, when the world burns past noon, while i wander undone in the life that we live. the rut that i circle, the stone i pursue – all loosens its weight when i think how you give.
i dream of you wrapped in the gloom of my hours, in nights that console me, in days violently bright. i dream when all language is lost to its powers, when love outpaces thought, leaving only its light.
we could be stranded on an island, feet burning over merciless sand, i'd search for you still through the salt of the seas, call your name into wind with my mouth full of land, buried deep under guilt and what clings to my knees.
i would shoulder the pain, bear the heft of my flaws, the slow ache of pretending and the lies i defend – and still, i would stand, and still, without pause, with the world on my back, i would never bend.
as long as you're there, i will love you outright. as long as i love you, i'll harden to strong. and as long as i'm strong, i will carry you tight, like duty held quiet, insistent and lifelong.
you opened your mind, let me enter your heart, those trembling rooms i had never been shown. you wrapped me in warmth like a merciful art, a hunger that secretly lived in my bones.
i never believed i would choose to remain, so careful, so secret, so slow in my stay, until all tomorrows began to explain why leaving your warmth felt like losing the day.
and i dream of you, i dream of you always, beneath stage-lighted breath, in the tempo we share.
lips reverent, halted, always inches apart, discipline taught where desire would tear, touch rehearsed into nothing, then sealed in the heart.
to love you is wanting what i cannot claim, and choosing you still in the ways left unsaid; in glances, in pauses, in carrying flame where silence is louder than words that we dread.
i dream of a girl from a small, distant land under fluorescent lights, conquering the world, learning that Earth fits the span of her hand, learning her name has the weight of a soul.
and i love her while knowing my place is the edge, the side of the dream where i walk but can't stand.
i would wander this conquered world at your side, fight for your love, labor hard for our gleam, for as long as the gods will allow us the pride of believing in something as fragile as dreams.
but dreams are not merciful – they loosen, they slip. they fade from the body, the mouth, and the hand.
and when dream turns to memory, when morning insists,
i will have loved you.
and that
will have been
everything.
manon's letter to sophia:
my sweet sophia, not only are you fierce, gorgeous, loving, smart, and talented, you're also such a natural leader and always have an open ear to everyone around you. i hope we get to make so many more amazing memories next year. i adore you and love you with my whole heart. you and i forever. xoxo, manon p.s. i hope you're smiling
go to sleep bunny…
sent me this on five different platforms only for u to not follow ur own instructions 🧐
read your meizini/john d fic while listening to cameron winters/geese .
sigh is all i have to say honestly. no but truly if you haven’t listen to him i’ve been so enamored recently by his live performances.
i’m not a usual tumblr user but i just HADD to come unlock the vault that is my tumblr account from ages ago to give you your kudos for this story. i love the way you write them sm!!! i cant wait for the (hopefully) continuation of this. and if not (because trust i get it) i look forward to reading the rest of your works as a new kawaii devoted fan.
ps: i’m loving this katzblr family yall got going on. much love!!
-cowboyanon
i forever get shocked when people come in here to talk abt that fic because, looking back, there’s so many edits i’d like to make to it & so many undeveloped aspects but. alas. full satisfaction is an impossibility
afraid i haven’t listened to him, but i’ll give it a go for u!! (if u wanna shoot me some specific recs, much appreciatednfmsosmd)
also aaa thank u thank u <: im so very glad u’re enjoying it! + in regards to continuation, i do have plans to keep it going!! i just struggle to dish out multi-chapter things because i’d really like to figure out some of the smaller details, which is why it’s been such a loooong time since the last chapter — it’ll make its return soon enough! & i hope u enjoy the rest of what u find too lol
<3
have you ever thought about writing maphinz as exes? i only ask bc i feel like your take would be very interesting. like maybe sophia developed some crazy jealous tendencies and manon couldn’t take it anymore but they work at like, a traveling circus lmaooo and it’s a little toxic but it’s still sweet and manon is ofc still down bad
before you ask. yes. i’m high. LOL
honored u think my take would be interesting 🫡 but i honestly think, when it comes to exes!maphinz, i might not be the right man for the job because i’d never be able to capture the actual ‘exes’ part? if that makes sense lol. they’d always bleed into a situationship in my eyes because i don’t ever see them as the type of individuals that can control themselves enough / be away from each other long enough to actually qualify as exes. like: yeah we broke up but im seeing my baby fridayyyyy we’re fuckinggg. fnskdkd but yes i do think sophia would absolutely be jealous & possessive the entire way thru. + i honestly think the joy of maphinz is that they parallel each other. both are secretly very yearny in their heads, but will drive the other mad out loud, when it comes to it. & although i don’t see them as the types to actually GET w/ someone else, something something we aren’t together yet it still feels like cheating, i don’t think they’d have any qualms abt being touchy in public, just to see the other tick / lose their cool.
maphinz keep getting more toxic go!!
honestly can’t get enough of maphinz where manon is just like going crazy and sophia is a little bit evil because she FINALLY gets to be mean after being so amazingly good to everyone all the time.
you are #thebest #neverstopwritingmaphinztoxicsituationshipsmut
hehe i (admittedly) started it with no plans for angst / toxicity & then it all kind of just came tumbling out. 😭 but ughhghhh u get it!! it’s this one time, this one tiny blip, where they can be a little different & get away w it.. like ah, yes (picturing plane & this one in the same time frame), one day i’ll comfort u when u’re scared on the plane & then next day i’m leaving u miserable & alone just before a show <:
wrote this as opposed to doing literally anything relevant or helpful with my time & it’s awful but we’re moving
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
this was holed up in my drafts for sooooooo long. & i hate every part of it. but i’d prefer to never look at it again so here we are https://archiveofourown.org/works/75782556
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
whatever it is you’re working on… drop it, king. it don’t need no edits i’m so serious
cnskwkdkskekem i appreciate you (in all likelihood i’ll give up on editing at the end anyway 💔)
contemplating dropping something i’ve been working on for a bit today
are u and rayan dating im just curious
he is half my soul, as the poets say. what is the boat without the humble rocking of a pulling wave beneath it? what is a seafarer if not a servant of the stars? what is a ribcage without a heart, a dance without music, a waltz without a partner? i press my hand to my chest and feel it, there, the fluttering that interrupts the silence with a stuttering hiccup — my heartbeat. his two step in the home we carved out, together, in a labour of love. there, beneath the tender flesh of my aorta, sipping tea: he sits with the book held open at sonnet 18 by a gentle paw as the fire crackles and burns so brightly it stings,