? I'm afraid this old man is a little lost, haha... Maybe I'm out of touch with the things you kids are into nowadays. What's special about June first, Shiina-chan? If you'd be so kind as to tell this confused old man...
...Secrets? Haha, I'm an open book, Shiina-chan, no secrets to be found from this old man. Come on, tell me what it is you want. I'm sure I have some gossip to share.
? I'm afraid this old man is a little lost, haha... Maybe I'm out of touch with the things you kids are into nowadays. What's special about June first, Shiina-chan? If you'd be so kind as to tell this confused old man...
...Secrets? Haha, I'm an open book, Shiina-chan, no secrets to be found from this old man. Come on, tell me what it is you want. I'm sure I have some gossip to share.
? I'm afraid this old man is a little lost, haha... Maybe I'm out of touch with the things you kids are into nowadays. What's special about June first, Shiina-chan? If you'd be so kind as to tell this confused old man...
...Secrets? Haha, I'm an open book, Shiina-chan, no secrets to be found from this old man. Come on, tell me what it is you want. I'm sure I have some gossip to share.
"Are you sure...? Considering... everything that happened."
Mikoto blinks, feeling a spot in his head that had been emptied. It doesn't make sense, it's been like this since the second trial. Null, empty.
"It's just the same for me, isn't it...? I'm just tired."
Worry. Concerned? Those are the words he would describe, he doesn't exactly know what's the right emotion for it anymore.
"You have a lot on your mind, right? I don't really hear you talk about it from your side.. I've said enough, I want to hear what you're thinking."
"Haha... Really, really. I'm fine, Kayano-kun. It's nothing. Just..." He sighs, smiling still. "Ah, tired would be pretty accurate, huh."
His head hurt from all the crying. And his throat felt sore. He really was a sorry excuse for a man, an adult.
A certain doctor would probably have said he's dehydrated too.
"If you really have something on your mind, Kayano-kun, I can hear it out. This old man... Ha, I don't really have much of worth to say." He laughs. "But either way, if you've got something weighing you down, this old man can lend a listening ear."
It wasn't too hard to observe. Kazui looked terrible. He holds himself back from pointing that out bluntly.
"I'll take your word..."
He doesn't remember how long he was stuck in this state, between being aware of his surroundings and finding that nothing seems real. People to him just feels like a ghastly presence.
Normally, he would have a smoke. If things were back to the way they were, it would've been nice. He could try to ask again.
"You sure...? Cat got your tongue?"
'...Okay, that was bad. Forget about that- I don't know what to say about myself... I wanted to know more about you but I guess that seems very invasive, huh..."
Probably not a good idea to pry some info from Kazui himself, whatever he had, he's going to shut him out of it.
"haha, come on, is this old man really that untrustworthy?" Kazui jokes. "I can hear your doubt, you know. I'm alright, really..."
He sighs. He'd offer a smoke, but he's pretty sure he's been in that room way too much. Not that he cared much, but the empty space was getting a bit too much to bear.
"Ahaha, no, no, that was good." He sighs, looking off to the side. "... Ahh, sure. What's it you want to know about this old man, then? Though I can't promise you'll like the answer."
Mikoto leans his head to the side slightly, as if to mimic movement and trying to think of a question. Would being direct be good? It won't. It's harder for him to tell what could be a good method to ask him...
"Ah... Alright." Multiple thoughts were circling around, some of them were his and some of them were... It's hard to tell them apart when all of them have the same voice. Is this how he felt? Is he still himself?
"I didn't... mean to eavesdrop on you, uhh.... I heard some things. When with Guard-kun, you, I mean.."
Something tugs in his heart, anxiety. It's that damn anxious self trying to make him reword it, anything. Don't be too direct.
"You said.. you're alright, but I heard you cry.. I'm not saying that you shouldn't be, that's against the point... That's why I asked if you needed someone to talk to. I might- err... not be able to help much, not in this state... but I still want to be useful."
...Maybe a certain doctor would be the best at trying to talk to him. Maybe he'd say the right things.
He'll word it better. Depending on how this is going.
If he were looking really close, it'd be clear how Kazui tensed up at the mention of his interrogation. God, did he hear-? No, no he can't... He can't know, can he?
Well, it'd be obvious if you were looking super closely, at least. Otherwise, Kazui seems to brush off the comment quickly, a light chuckle escaping him.
"Ah, that... Sorry about that, it's kind of embarrassing... haha. An unstable old man like me... hah..." He waves his hand, as if dismissing the notion that he had feelings deeper than the general lighthearted air of an "adult" he still tried to keep up. "Well, it's not the job of a youngster like you to handle my emotions for me, really."
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could love you. I'm sorry I'm broken like this. I'm sorry. I wanted to love you. Please know this. I'm not lying, I promise. I know you can't believe that. I'm sorry.
[ @mukuharakazui-official ]
I believe you.
I want you to know this, too.
You aren’t broken, and I don’t want you to feel that way about yourself. You can’t help who you love, or how you feel. Sometimes… things just don’t go according to plan, do they?
I’d rather you have someone who can fulfill what I couldn’t. You deserve love, just like everyone else. Even if what we had wasn’t… conventional love, I still felt happy during those times. I understand that it was the best you could do, and I can appreciate that in a different light now.
I also accept your apology, Kazui. The last thing I want is for you to hurt like this, when you were already hurting so much from the start. The one thing I ask of you is to keep going. For my sake, please.
It might be hard to believe, but you aren’t hearing things.
I don’t know how we are able to reach out to each other, but there is a lot I want to tell you while I still have a chance like this.
There is a lot that you’re thinking, isn’t there? Maybe I don’t understand what goes on in that head of yours after all, but we have lived under the same roof for quite a long time. I can tell when your mind is busy. Care to tell me how you’re feeling? It might be too late… but I want to meet the “honest” Kazui.
...If it's really you ... I'm sorry. It's my fault. I really wish that I could've loved you properly......
.. I'm not even sure there is an "honest" version of me. I don't think I can be . I was born this way. I don't know what else to say . I want to live honestly, but I can't . I can't.
I... Say whatever you like to me. Please. I want to hear from you.
..Well… it would be difficult to narrow down everything I have wanted to tell you. How about this, first..
I’ll say it as many times as I need to. I forgive you.
I understand your feelings. The world you live in wants you to shape yourself into someone you aren’t, and it’s unfair. Your “honest” self hasn’t had the opportunity to breathe. Berating yourself, not forgiving yourself, has only been suffocating you. Though, expecting you to find peace with yourself is much easier said than done… words alone aren’t powerful enough to undo so many years of heartache. From what I have gathered, your guilt seems to be the reason you are here in the first place.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could love you. I'm sorry I'm broken like this. I'm sorry. I wanted to love you. Please know this. I'm not lying, I promise. I know you can't believe that. I'm sorry.
[ @mukuharakazui-official ]
I believe you.
I want you to know this, too.
You aren’t broken, and I don’t want you to feel that way about yourself. You can’t help who you love, or how you feel. Sometimes… things just don’t go according to plan, do they?
I’d rather you have someone who can fulfill what I couldn’t. You deserve love, just like everyone else. Even if what we had wasn’t… conventional love, I still felt happy during those times. I understand that it was the best you could do, and I can appreciate that in a different light now.
I also accept your apology, Kazui. The last thing I want is for you to hurt like this, when you were already hurting so much from the start. The one thing I ask of you is to keep going. For my sake, please.
It might be hard to believe, but you aren’t hearing things.
I don’t know how we are able to reach out to each other, but there is a lot I want to tell you while I still have a chance like this.
There is a lot that you’re thinking, isn’t there? Maybe I don’t understand what goes on in that head of yours after all, but we have lived under the same roof for quite a long time. I can tell when your mind is busy. Care to tell me how you’re feeling? It might be too late… but I want to meet the “honest” Kazui.
...If it's really you ... I'm sorry. It's my fault. I really wish that I could've loved you properly......
.. I'm not even sure there is an "honest" version of me. I don't think I can be . I was born this way. I don't know what else to say . I want to live honestly, but I can't . I can't.
I... Say whatever you like to me. Please. I want to hear from you.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I wish I could love you. I'm sorry I'm broken like this. I'm sorry. I wanted to love you. Please know this. I'm not lying, I promise. I know you can't believe that. I'm sorry.
[ @mukuharakazui-official ]
I believe you.
I want you to know this, too.
You aren’t broken, and I don’t want you to feel that way about yourself. You can’t help who you love, or how you feel. Sometimes… things just don’t go according to plan, do they?
I’d rather you have someone who can fulfill what I couldn’t. You deserve love, just like everyone else. Even if what we had wasn’t… conventional love, I still felt happy during those times. I understand that it was the best you could do, and I can appreciate that in a different light now.
I also accept your apology, Kazui. The last thing I want is for you to hurt like this, when you were already hurting so much from the start. The one thing I ask of you is to keep going. For my sake, please.
"Are you sure...? Considering... everything that happened."
Mikoto blinks, feeling a spot in his head that had been emptied. It doesn't make sense, it's been like this since the second trial. Null, empty.
"It's just the same for me, isn't it...? I'm just tired."
Worry. Concerned? Those are the words he would describe, he doesn't exactly know what's the right emotion for it anymore.
"You have a lot on your mind, right? I don't really hear you talk about it from your side.. I've said enough, I want to hear what you're thinking."
"Haha... Really, really. I'm fine, Kayano-kun. It's nothing. Just..." He sighs, smiling still. "Ah, tired would be pretty accurate, huh."
His head hurt from all the crying. And his throat felt sore. He really was a sorry excuse for a man, an adult.
A certain doctor would probably have said he's dehydrated too.
"If you really have something on your mind, Kayano-kun, I can hear it out. This old man... Ha, I don't really have much of worth to say." He laughs. "But either way, if you've got something weighing you down, this old man can lend a listening ear."
It wasn't too hard to observe. Kazui looked terrible. He holds himself back from pointing that out bluntly.
"I'll take your word..."
He doesn't remember how long he was stuck in this state, between being aware of his surroundings and finding that nothing seems real. People to him just feels like a ghastly presence.
Normally, he would have a smoke. If things were back to the way they were, it would've been nice. He could try to ask again.
"You sure...? Cat got your tongue?"
'...Okay, that was bad. Forget about that- I don't know what to say about myself... I wanted to know more about you but I guess that seems very invasive, huh..."
Probably not a good idea to pry some info from Kazui himself, whatever he had, he's going to shut him out of it.
"haha, come on, is this old man really that untrustworthy?" Kazui jokes. "I can hear your doubt, you know. I'm alright, really..."
He sighs. He'd offer a smoke, but he's pretty sure he's been in that room way too much. Not that he cared much, but the empty space was getting a bit too much to bear.
"Ahaha, no, no, that was good." He sighs, looking off to the side. "... Ahh, sure. What's it you want to know about this old man, then? Though I can't promise you'll like the answer."
"Are you sure...? Considering... everything that happened."
Mikoto blinks, feeling a spot in his head that had been emptied. It doesn't make sense, it's been like this since the second trial. Null, empty.
"It's just the same for me, isn't it...? I'm just tired."
Worry. Concerned? Those are the words he would describe, he doesn't exactly know what's the right emotion for it anymore.
"You have a lot on your mind, right? I don't really hear you talk about it from your side.. I've said enough, I want to hear what you're thinking."
"Haha... Really, really. I'm fine, Kayano-kun. It's nothing. Just..." He sighs, smiling still. "Ah, tired would be pretty accurate, huh."
His head hurt from all the crying. And his throat felt sore. He really was a sorry excuse for a man, an adult.
A certain doctor would probably have said he's dehydrated too.
"If you really have something on your mind, Kayano-kun, I can hear it out. This old man... Ha, I don't really have much of worth to say." He laughs. "But either way, if you've got something weighing you down, this old man can lend a listening ear."
I’m hugging u rn you can’t feel it but I’m hugging yoi
Ah.? Haha, thank you... Really. I don't need it, but if you want one, I'm not all too opposed to hugs! This old man has been told he's a good hugger, after all. Aha.
