A/N: The side of Loki we never thought existed.
I entered Loki’s castle, which was once my home. Yes, my dear readers, my ex-boyfriend is a God, literally and physically, I will reveal that story at some point during this saga, but for now…
It was like something out of a fairytale, I was laying on my back in the middle of his bed, the wind from the sea below rustled the curtains and filled the room with its salty essences.
He was laying on his side, his right hand supporting his head, while his left waved across my naked stomach and speckles of green and gold dust floated a few inches above my belly. I turned to look at him, his vulnerability and tenderness unchanged much like the days of the past when we laid endlessly like this. I touched his fingers and the the speckles of dust fell from the tips into my palm. I blew the dust into his face and he laughed, revealing his youthful and boyish grin.
“You and the child are healthy, today marks three months.” He says gazing at me intently before he continued. “Do you want to know if it’s a boy or girl?”
My eyes widen. “You know what I’m having?”
He nods. “Do you want to know?” I shook my head. “Come, you need to eat.” He says as he sits ups.
I started to protest, but he wasn’t have any parts of it. I stood from the bed and walked over to the mirror admiring the ankle length, flowy white gown. I couldn’t take my eyes off my belly, which seemed to have grown exponentially larger in a few hours. His chatter became indecipherable as I lifted my gown and gazed intently at my round belly from every angle.
I heard his voice in my head, silencing my chatter. “Time works differently here.”
I answered him aloud. “I know that, but I look as if I’m six months pregnant.
He kisses me on the cheek, “you’re glowing.”
“Close your eyes.” I did as he commanded. “Open.”
I opened my eyes slowly to see a golden amulet hanging from my neck. “What’s this?”
“It belonged to Frigga.” He hesitated for a bit. “My mother.”
“Lo, this is…” I opened it and gasped. “I can’t take this.”
“She wanted you to have it. Or as she said, this belongs to the woman who sees the goodness and love in your heart like I have.”
My heart was overwhelmed. “Thank you.”
Lo busied himself in the kitchen preparing one of his concoctions.
“I can ask you how you have been since the Dreamless, but I can tell that you are still troubled.” He says as he places a bowl of something that looks and smells like porridge in front of me. He saw the look on my face and then he spoke. “You know what happened the last time, so I suggest you just eat it.”
I pushed the bowl away from me. “I’m not hungry.”
“When was the last time you ate? And don’t say you had a donut because you didn’t actually eat it.”
“Always.” He says as he dipped the spoon into the bowl and held it up to my mouth.
I took a bite and we exchanged a glance. “Why are you doing this?” I asked.
“What.” He says as he dips the spoon into the bowl and raises it to his lips.
“Thought you said you weren’t hungry.” He winked. I stuck my tongue out at him and he laughed.
“All of this.” I say between chews, “why have you left the veil open between us all this time? The Dreamless, being there at the exact moment when I fell into the waterfall, and Frigga’s amulet.”
“To show you that I will always be here for you and that amulet is now yours.”
He eyes me as he takes a bite. “It does, can I just kill him?”
I laughed. “No, Lo! You do not have permission to kill the father of my child.
“Lo, I am serious. Do not harm him. Promise me.”
“I promise, I won’t harm him. Maim, maybe, but not kill.”
“Thanks.” I replied dryly.
“It bothers me, but it doesn’t mean I will love you any less because you love someone else and is carrying his child.” My legs started to shake and he senses this. “Don’t be nervous, we might as well talk about it now and get it out of the way.”
“Okay.” I say hesitantly. He lifts the spoon to my mouth.
“Does Bucky know about me?” He lifts the spoon to his lips.
“Having a boyfriend…an ex-boyfriend-.”
“Ex-fiancé.” He interrupts and clarifies.
“Having an ex-fiancé as a God that nearly destroyed the human race isn’t something to brag about.”
“Once we go back, there will be many questions from him and everyone else.”
“I know. And I’m prepared to answer them. I’m not ashamed of you Lo, if that’s what you think. You were my choice at one point and Natasha was his…” I trailed off.
“I know you’re not ashamed of what we once were, if you were you wouldn’t be here right now.”
I swallowed the last bite and he places the spoon in the bowl.
“That’s a question for Natasha.”
“He sighs. “Yes, she loves him deeply, but that love only flows one way. As much as it pains me to say this and I wish it wasn’t true, he is truly and madly in love with you. The only love Bucky has for Natasha is that of friendship, nothing more.”
“What happened between them and Hydra?”
“Darling, I cannot answer that question. That is his story to tell, and it will be better if it comes from him and not from me.”
“Are you still in love with me?”
The question caught him off guard. It took several heartbeats before he answered. “You already know the answer.”
“Do you wish this was your child?”
He gets up from the table and walks outside. “Yes, I wished that was my daughter. I wished that you were as in love with me as you are with him. I made a lot of mistakes and I lost you because of them and it is my burden to not only live with, but to carry.
My eyes brimmed with tears. “It’s a girl? I’m having a girl?”
“Love, I am so sorry.” He apologizes, taking my hand in his and kissing it.
He slowly drops my hands and rubs his thumb across my cheek then my lips. I didn’t stop him as he leaned in and kissed me. My knees weakened, but his arm around my waist steadied me as I pressed into him as the kiss became deeper and hungrier. Our touch became sensitizes as visions of our past lovemaking heightened the already charged atmosphere.
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