Mum on the run

'Mum on the run' is a collection of conversations between Mia (who was 3 years old when this blog started and is now 5) and various family members, usually me (mum). Some of our chats are so cute, innocent, bizarre and more often than not just really funny that I simply have to share them.

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Mia’s story, ‘Betty’ (age 6)

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Little & Strong

Mia: I know why little things are strong sometimes

Me: Do you?

Mia: What's the thing called, the little thing that goes in the washing machine that makes it clean?

Me: The detergent?

Mia: Yeah, i know why that gets clothes really clean even though there's just a little bit of it

Me: How's that?

Mia: It concentrates lots!

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Mia was studying the honey pot on the breakfast table

Mia: do you know what I don't like about beebanality?

Me: about what?

Mia: bee... Beeb... beeanality

Mia: I don't know what that is

Mia: well we have a personality but bees aren't a person so they have a beeanality

Me: I see!

Mia: what I don't like about their beeanality is that they sting. But I do like one thing about their beeanality and that's that they make honey! (Squeezes honey on her porridge and it makes a squelchy pop noise) oops! I think a bee did a fart in that one!

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Hair removal

I was having a shower this morning when Mia walked in the bathroom to clean her teeth.

Mia: What are you doing?

Me: Shaving my armpits

Mia: Why?

Me: Because I don't want to have hairy armpits

Mia: Do I have hairy armpits?

Me: No, you will when you're older. When you're a teenager you'll get hairy armpits, hairy legs....

Mia: And I can shave them...

Me: Or you can get your legs waxed like I do. It hurts but they stay smooth for longer.

Mia: When I'm a grown up I think I'll shave my armpits but on my legs I'll Wowcher!

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Mia was reading me this nursery rhyme this morning for the first time.... "The King of Spain's DARTH VADAR came to visit me"

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Mia and Siri talk colours

Mia: What is your favourite colour?

Siri: My favourite colour is... well, I don't know how to say it in your language. It's sort of greenish, but with more dimensions.

Mia (to me): I think he means turquoise...

Mia (to Siri): Do you mean turquoise?

Siri: After all I've done for you?

Mia: DO YOU MEAN TURQUOISE?

Siri: That doesn't sound good.

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What are we good at?

Mia got upset that she couldn't draw something very well...

Me: we can't all be good at everything. Some people are good at some things and not others.

Andy: mummy for example isn't good at tidying

Me: I was going to say singing...

Mia: daddy's good at singing and tidying and cooking roast dinners

Andy: yes. mummy's very good at drawing and...

Mia: on Sundays mummy's very good at sleeping!

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Just some of the questions I was asked over dinner tonight

We sat down to some pasta and Mia said... "Mummy, I have some really good questions for you...."

They included... (amongst many others!)

1. Why do we have different weathers and how do they change so quickly?

2. Why are foods different colours?

3. Why are things made of different things like wood, plastic, metal, glass and sponge?

4. Why is it blue in the daytime and black at nighttime?

5. Why can you only see programmes on the television?

6. Why is everyone different?

7. Why do the leaves change colour in Autumn?

8. Why do things that are electric take a while to work sometimes? Like the TV turning on or someone answering the phone. 

I think I managed reasonably well despite being unprepared in explaining gravity, precipitation, evolution of man, circuit boards, electricity, human cells and genes. I particularly enjoyed the 'parmesan sun', 'peppercorn moon' and 'coaster stars' explanation.

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Sensible?

We were watching Ice Age 3 and Mia commented that Manny was always always right...

Me: He and Ellie are like the grown ups I guess

Mia: They're both really sensible.

Me: Do you think mummy and daddy are sensible?

Mia: (pauses) ... You are mummy

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Breaking Dawn 2

Mia was looking for a DVD for us to watch with the PG label and was putting away one of the Twilight films that we had recently watched...

Mia: But this one, the fifth vampire one, doesn't have the yellow triangle on mummy but you let me watch it...

Me: Yes, well you should be 12 to watch that one but mummy thought it was OK

Mia: Yes but with this one we had to do "pillow time" on the scary bits so I couldn't see

Me: Yes because a few bits weren't suitable for a 4 year old

Mia: Yeah because they were either too scary or rude bits

Me: Well, yes

Mia: And I can't watch scary or rude bits can I because then i'll think of those things all the time and then i'll want to do those things and I definitely shouldn't rip anyones dress should I?

Me: Er, no.

Mia: Or rip peoples heads off

Me: *realises parenting fail*

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Boy trouble

Mia: Casper pretends to be a dinosaur all the time and goes RAR!

Me: Don't you like that?

Mia: No, so Jack is my boyfriend now not Casper.

Me: OK

Mia: I kiss Jack now

Me: Really? ....on the cheek?

Mia: Yeah

Me: ....and on the lips?

Mia: *grins* Yeah

Me: You're a bit young to be kissing boys aren't you?

Mia: No. I'm going to marry Jack when we're grown up.

Me: I see

Mia: Jack's going to a different school from me so I won't see him next week....

Me: No... but you'll make new friends at school

Mia: So I won't see Jack again?

Me: Maybe when you're grown ups you'll bump into each other if you both still live in Brighton.

Mia: Yeah and if I have a baby I can use him as the dad.

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Hairdressers

We booked an appointment for Mia to get her hair done at Bertie & Belle (the childrens hair salon in Hove where they get to sit in little cars and watch DVDs while patient women attempt to cut hair).

I was picking Mia up from nursery today and we were having a chat...

Mia: Am I still going to Bertie and Belles tomorrow morning?

Me: Yes, your appointment is at 10.30

Mia: OK

Me: I've also booked myself an appointment to get my hair done in the afternoon.

Mia: Do I have to come?

Me: No, I'll come to your appointment with you but my appointment will take a bit longer so daddy will look after you while I have my hair done

Mia: Yeah because it takes a lot longer to do things to your hair to make it look beautiful because your hair is grey. And you wouldn't fit in one of the cars at Bertie and Belles anyway.

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Our clever girl wrote the menu board at nursery

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Lucozade

I have a bottle of Lucozade sport on the coffee table...

Mia: Mummy can I try some of that please?

Me: You won't like it.... but OK

Mia: *pulls disgusted face*

Me: I didn't think so....

Mia: Why do you drink that?

Me: It's like water, it gives you energy

Mia: Does it keep you frustrated?

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Peach

Mia: if something's really expensive it means...?

Me: it costs a lot of money

Mia: and if it doesn't cost a lot of money it's peach

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Mia's favourite things

I read Mia a bedtime story about Peppa Pig's favourite things. At the end I asked here what her favourite things are and this is what she said...

Flowers

Princesses

Things that are working (like computers and televisions)

Pictures that don't fall down

A picture she drew that's up on her wall of her, me and Andy

Hello Kitty and the Easter Bunny