Jessica

There is always a light, sometimes you just gotta walk through the darkness to find it 💡

[mumsambitions]

Me again. Just checking in, hope your all well.

I know things can get hard and sometimes you ooose sight of what’s or who’s important but trust me the most important thing in the world is here, just look down amin your arms and you will see them.

I want to create these posts to give mums, expecting mums, people who need advice or literally people who just want a laugh with all these stupid shit I do sometimes 🫣 I’m gonna take it from the beginning. Right from the beginning.

I have been pregnant before. I unfortunately could not carry on with the pregnancy due to me becoming extremely unwell and the baby not getting the nutrients that they needed. I went to get checked over for doctors to confirm my baby just wasn’t growing. It broke me, I fell pregnant at a time where I felt completely in my own so this was so difficult for me.

Somebody who I spoke to at work very regularly became the rock I needed to get through. He was there for me no matter what and just really cared for me. He honesty is the love of my life. We got together and we both hit the ground running. I had never been so happy in all my life, which was such a difference considering I had only recently been at one of the lowest. We was house hunting when we found out I was pregnant!

My beautiful daughter Mia was not a planned pregnancy. Needless to say the moment we found out, we was in love with the idea of becoming a family.

I ran into a few issues throughout my pregancy such as extreme sickness (Hyperemesis gravidarum) which caused me to sometimes eat nothing for days in end and constantly be throwing up (which considering my pregancy before I was panicking so badly as I thought it was happening again)

I then had a calcium deficiency causing a few or my teeth to crack and my wisdom tooth to crack right down to the root. I was told from about 30 weeks they couldn’t do anything but the pin was the worst pain I had ever been in anyone with severe toothache will know the pain) but with me been prevent only paracetamol was advised - which did completely fuck all.

I started going to appointments on my own as nobody was allowed to go with me due to COVID which I was so scared because of everything I had been through and needed him there with me.

I was a first time mum in lockdown which most will know meant the following:

- No partners to appointments

- 1 hour visits after baby born in hospital

- not allowed in hospital with you u til your physically on labour ward.

The process was so mentally difficult…..

I’ll check back later guys with the rest

[mumsambitions]

👋

They tell you don’t they, but they don’t really tell you.

I think you know straight away, that no matter what, that tiny little human you have created, you will love no matter what. You cannot come to terms with how your so in love with someone you have never met, touched, or heard. You spend so much time wrapped up getting things prepared, sleepless nights, unsettled stomach you completely loose yourself it it all. Your so overwhelmed but finally so happy when your world is finally here and lifted into your arms.

BANG! Right there. Nobody can ever prepare you for the feeling of the suffocating pressure dropped on you to do well in life and be everything that you want your baby to aspire to be. It fills you up inside and you instantly feel guilty for not been good Good enough.

Keep you posted

[mumsambitions]

Hi tumblr’s,

I’m struggling, these last few years have been hard for everyone I know, but I keep finding myself slipping in and out out this lonely place, I have so much to look forward too, and a beautiful daughter too, I have just bought a house, I’m in a king term relationship. So why, why do I feel so defeated?

To anyone reading, this isn’t a cry for help or a statement of me wanting to hurt myself, just an honest confession of a new mum struggling with momlife.

I’ll keep you posted