I walk downstairs to boil some water at 2:30am.
I havenât slept yet, I am too affected by my sickness to be comfortable enough to fall asleep.
I reach the kitchen. The kettle is empty. I was the last person to use the kettle, I shame my past self for not filling it up.
After filling up the kettle and turning it on, I quickly find myself bored and look around the kitchen. There. There I see it. Right in front of me. A packet of ground almonds. Several thoughts race through my mind.
I didnât know this existed.
Why is this in the kitchen?
Is mum going to bake something with it?
Iâm going to put this in a bowl and eat it with my Kelloggâs spoon.
Did they skin the almonds before grinding them?
Stricken with temptation, I leave the kitchen. I knew that running was futile, but what else could I do? I had a craving for ground almonds; dispite not knowing what it tasted like.
The water finished boiling. I poured some biscuits into a bowl and started chowing down, trying to erase the need for ground almonds.
I look at the packet once more, the pale powder looking back at me... it looks so soft and delicious, who knew I would be falling in love at first sight? I grab the packet out of instinct. But, itâs not open. The only reason it would be in this kitchen is if mum wanted to make something with it, right? Itâs 150g, that sounds like the right amount of ground almonds to use in a cake. I put it back and step away. I canât do it. I canât open the unopened bag.
Just take a teaspoon, no one will notice...
This... this situation... doesnât it sound exactly like a test from God? A test of faith?!?!
I take a biscuit and I eat it. Iâm not so weak as to fall victim to some ground nuts! I wander around the kitchen, confident as I no longer want to eat ground almonds, and ground almonds only.
I open a cupboard to look around, thanking The Lord for the biscuits, and right in front of me... there I see it. There. A bag of flour.
I slam the cupboard door shut, take my bowl of biscuits and walk back upstairs.