❝ i — yeah, um, yeah, ❞ he manages to stutter out between kisses, not willing to break away long enough to actually respond, dreading the fact that he knows he will have to break away to find the aforementioned condom.
he’s not actually as shocked as he thinks he should be that they’re about to do what they’re about to do again. he thinks he should be very shocked, considering they had both been adamantly against even discussing it less than fifteen minutes ago when they’d woken up, but now with her lips pressed against his again ( and he’s not gonna pretend that the kisses aren’t still desperate, hungry and wanting and everything he can imagine they were the night before tenfold ), he doesn’t think he’d actually want to be doing anything else, let alone stopping it from escalating like it is as he pulls away hesitantly.
he shifts to the side to slide open his bedside drawer, hand digging for the box of condoms he knows is somewhere near the top. ❝ they’re just, uh, i know they’re — hah,❞ he doesn’t bother to suppress the nervous laugh that comes with his dorky exclamation, sliding one out of the box and bringing it between his teeth to tear it open, eyes meeting hers as he does.
now is not the time to get self-conscious. he thinks the nervous flutters in his stomach are pretty stupid considering they’ve already had sex once, even if he doesn’t remember it. as he feels an eerie sense of doubt start to creep into the back of his mind, he decides to deal with it the only way he knows how; it’s time to overcompensate.
as soon as the condom’s rolled on, he leans in again to capture her lips with his briefly before trailing softer kisses along her jaw, sucking lightly on the spot where her jaw starts to meet her ear.
❝ so, uh... ❞ he can hear the huskiness in his own voice by her ear, deep and dripping with the wanting that he feels. ❝ what now? ❞
he wishes he were smoother, but something about zoey and something about the way they move together just makes him wanna give up control, makes him wanna hit the ball into her court and let it stay there, let her do whatever she wants to do to him.
Zoey can’t help but smirk at how he stutters in between kisses, so unlike his usual obnoxiously cocky self as he readily agrees to her half-demand, half-request that it almost endears him to her MORE. To call him ‘ eager ’ would be an understatement, &. honestly? She might like him BETTER like this.
If she thinks about it ( &. to be frank, she’s actually trying NOT to do a whole lot of thinking beyond the basics like mouth goes here &. hands go there in the interest of preventing further freak outs ), it’s not actually all that surprising how things have escalated to this point. Once she admits to herself that he’s handsome ( very, very handsome, in fact; &. he’s even MORE handsome like this — flushed &. needy &. pliant ), it’s not quite as hard to admit that she LIKES him or that she’d really ( really, really ) like this to continue much, much further. &. once she admits to herself that this is what she actually WANTS, it’s easy to silence that pesky, tiny little voice in the back of her mind that’s still wasting time &. energy listing off all the reasons this is a BAD IDEA instead of cataloguing the hitches in breath when her lips hit his neck.
( One of these days, she’s going to take the time to weed out all the sensitive places on his neck, &. NO, she’s NOT going to examine how that train of thought implies that she’s already planning on continuing this thing between them past the here &. now either, so fuck off. )
The wave of satisfaction that comes when Leif finally starts to rummage through his drawer for a condom is expected. She thinks she could get used to the overeager way he gives into her demands, every bit as endearing as when he’d been tripping over his words. ( &. hey, maybe if she plays her cards right, she can figure out how to get this Leif at work because she DEFINITELY prefers this to the willful disobedience she usually gets from him. ) What’s NOT expected is the way all the air leaves her lungs at his breathy little exclamation, butterflies raging in her stomach as the façade slips even further &. she catches a glimpse of a Leif that she MORE than likes. Uh oh.
( She remembers those early months of working at SPRQPoint, when the hero worship had first begun to fade &. she could start to look at the men around her like coworkers instead of idols. She still hadn’t been completely comfortable around anyone who wasn’t Max, but those friendly-yet-stilted elevator rides had gone from being intimidating to enjoyable. She might’ve had the teeniest of crushes on him then — not that anyone could ever PROVE IT without going through her journal through with a fine-toothed comb. It doesn’t feel like just a ‘ teensy crush ’ anymore. )
Is the scar new? It’s a distracting thought that comes out of nowhere when their eyes meet, still reeling from the flip-flops her stomach had done seeing his dorky smile, &. her eyes linger on it long enough that their lips reconnecting actually catches her by SURPRISE. So much for the control she’d had earlier.
He doesn’t seem to notice the slip, though. Thank God. Not that it makes much of a difference when he finds another sensitive spot effortlessly, drawing out a soft moan that doesn’t even begin to cover half of what the DEEP, husky want in his voice does to her.
❛ Now... ❜ she starts, her voice sounding far more even &. CONTROLLED than she actually feels as she takes hold of him in her hand &. lines him up with her entrance. ❛ You fuck me. ❜
Another flash of memories hit her when she sinks down onto him. Her name on his lips, pitched &. needy as she grinds against him &. scrapes her teeth along his Adam’s apple ( &. there’s an idea for later... ). Then laying on her back, the feeling of deceptively SOFT hair clutched tightly in her hands, messing up his usually perfect hairstyle as he takes her apart with his tongue. She imagines he’d heard his name just as often as she’d heard hers. Maybe more.
With the first rise &. FALL of her hips, she can’t imagine things will be much different this time.
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