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[musingmultiverse]

seekingbenjy​:

He thinks about arguing but know better-and the way Cleona said “your son” warms his chest enough that he’s able to forget about the cold. He walks softly down the hallway, avoiding the creak in the floor and headed towards Shay’s room at the end of the hall-the faint glow from the orbs of light Cleona always casts into his room so he doesn’t get nightmares.

Benjy isn’t surprised to see a very mischievous and very awake three year old smile when he opens the door.

“You-” Benjy says softly, crossing the room and sitting on his bed with the purple dragon duvet “Are supposed to be in bed.”

“I am, baba!” 

“Don’t get me on a technicality, Seamus Atlas.” 

He smoothes his son’s curls back down but they pop right back up. 

“Sorry I’m here so late, Shaybaby.”

“It’s okay, Momma read me the story about the cackling stump.”

“Babbity Rabbity?” Benjy says, his eyebrows raised, his grin coming easily as Shay nods enthusiastically. 

“Well-I’ve heard that sleeping makes you strong and cool, so you think you wanna give it another try?”

Shay sighs dramatically and Benjy has to hide his smile. “I guess. Will you sing?” 

Something in Benjy’s heart pulls. He gets off the bed so Shay can wiggle down as he nods. Benjy starts to sing softly, the same song he would sing for Cleona’s stomach-it started as a joke, but now it was far from funny. 

Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral Too-ra-loo-ra-li Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral Hush now, don’t you cry Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral Too-ra-loo-ra-li Too-ra-loo-ra-loo-ral

“Sweet dreams, Shay. I love you.”

“Love you, baba.” He says, sleep clinging to his voice. Benjy keeps going until his eyes close fully.

Over in Killarney, many years ago My mother sang a song to me in tones so soft and low….

Benjy leaves Seamus’s room silently, casting a charm on the door on the way out to keep the noise out.

Cleona is at the stove when he makes the way into the kitchen, dancing slightly to whatever is on her muggle radio. Benjy watches her for a minute in the doorway, letting out a big sigh of relief as he sees the proof that the evilness he had to fight today didn’t even come close to touching the two people who matter the most. She must have heard him, cause she turns around, smiling as she shows him the pan of eggs. 

“Those better be Florentine or I’m not eating them.” 

Cleona rolls her eyes and gestures for him to sit

“Shut up.”

She waves her wand and the eggs appear on the plate she’d already set on the table.

“Thank you.” He says softly, meeting her gaze. He knows she knows he doesn’t just mean for dinner. “I barely had time for anything other than a bagel today.” He takes a big bite and doesn’t protest when she sets a glass of orange juice beside him. “He was already awake, by the way-though he was in bed as he helpfully pointed out.” Benjy smiles up at his ex wife and resists the urge to touch her hand. “You gonna sit or just stare at me to make sure I don’t rip off the silver?”

“Bastard.” She cuffs him lightly in the back of the head and grins when he snickers. “I’m waiting for the kettle.”

Right on cue, the kettle emits a low whistle and Cleona crosses back to the stove to take it off the burner. She flicks her wand towards the rack of mugs mounted to the wall and summons two to her hand. Both happen to be works of art by their son presented on their respective birthdays. Cleona’s has “Mama” scrawled in big loopy purple paint strokes made legible with some guidance from Benjy. Benjy’s has “Baba” painted in green with similar aid from Cleona. Both have a smattering of multicolored dots and swirls and Shay still gets excited whenever he sees the two of them using them. Which is why Benjy just keeps his here. They don’t need to acknowledge any further implications there.

She drops a teabag in each mug and pours water over them, Benjy quietly munching on his eggs behind her.

“You want anything else?” she asks, setting his mug in front of him but still not sitting down yet herself.

He raises an eyebrow at her, still chewing on a large bite, and shakes his head. “This is perfect, Cleona.”

She smiles in spite of herself, her cheeks suddenly a bit warm. “It’s just eggs, Benj.”

That same eyebrow shoots up again and she drops it, finally settling in the chair across from him. She watches him over the rim of her mug, his expression falling slightly as he stares down at his eggs.

“Benjy? 

“Hm?” He looks up with a new forced lightness in his tone.

She leans forward in her chair, resting her chin in one hand while keeping her other hand still wrapped around her mug right over her son’s clumsy but heartfelt lettering. “Do you-do you wanna talk about it?”

[seekingbenjy]

Invisible String || Octifox

It had started to snow on his way over, and of course he didn’t have gloves. Benjy’s peacoat is buttoned all the way to the top but the wind still breaks through, pushing him along her street-their street-as if the elements knew he needed the help to keep going.

He knocks once on the kelly green door and tries not to think about her name, still in beautiful script on his hip. He tries not to think about the last time her fingers had traced it.

When he told the tattoo artist to enchant it so it would always bear the name of his beloved, it had sounded far more romantic. Now he’s haunted by her even when he’s alone-well, that’s not new, but that haunting turning to hurt is.

“Hey.” He says, meeting her eyes for half a second. He didn’t want to look at her too long, she’d see the full scope of how hurt he is-and hurt too. Benjy was okay with the divorce because it meant he couldn’t hurt her anymore. And then a few months ago, he’d fucked up. Badly. She’d forgiven him somehow, and he still didn’t understand how.

Cleona can survive a forest fire. But Benjy can barely stand to face the consequences of his actions, not when it comes to her. Not when they both know he could’ve prevented that pain that her eyes grip onto now.

A coward and a failure, quite the winning combination.

“I know its really late but uh, any chance he might still be up?”

Benjy can’t help the fraction of a smile that catches on his face when he thinks of their son.

“I promise I’m going to get uh, better at being earlier like we talked about and I promise I’m gonna start coming to dinner but the case today was uh…”

He swallows hard and when he looks at her he knows she already knows. He wasn’t the only one haunted by the magical ties that used to make them great.

“Kids.”

He hates that his chin quivers slightly-almost as much as he hates that he has to hold it in around her now.

“I just need to see Seamus. If I can.” He rubs his eyes and the side of his cheek under his glasses. “I’ll be quick, Lo. Then I’ll get out of your hair.”  

[musingmultiverse]

Cleona tucks a strand fallen from her ponytail behind her ear as she moves to the side to let her ex-husband inside. An urge, still familiar after all these years, to brush the snowflakes from his hair comes over her but she ignores it for both of their sakes.

“He hasn’t been down for too long,” she tells him as she lets the door shut behind him and holds out her arms for his coat. “Bathtime went extra long tonight and then he insisted on a story and you know I couldn’t tell him no.”

Benjy cracks another smile at that as he hands over his coat. “Of course not.”

Cleona hums, brushing the snow from the shoulders before pulling out her wand and sending the coat to the front closet.

“Have you eaten yet tonight?”

The guilt that clouds his expression is answer enough. “Cleona-”

She is already heading off to the kitchen, wand held aloft to set the kettle boiling, as he calls after her. 

“Go see your son,” she cuts him off not unkindly as she turns her head to look at him over her shoulder. A beat passes as they both can’t seem to tear their eyes away from each other. This impossible magnetism between the two of them is torture all on its own, but when Benjy once broached her about finding ways to break it so she could move on, she didn’t speak to him for a full day. From the beginning, she has known that the connection between them was not meant to be broken, no matter what form their relationship ever decided to take. Cleona breaks eye contact first this time to pull down a pan from the cupboard over the sink.

“You’ll feel better,” she adds, quiet enough that she’s not sure if Benjy hears her or not but satisfied when she hears his footsteps on the stairs towards Seamus’ room.