Take me away

Just a place for my thoughts. You shouldn't care.

[musingsdiary]

What's the point of friends anyways

[musingsdiary]

I kinda wanna die lmao

[musingsdiary]

Tfw you are sick of people misgendering you but you're too much of an introvert/antisocial/shy to correct them :/

[musingsdiary]

Tbh I haven't cut myself in years but I really feel like it rn

[musingsdiary]

I am an unbelievably shitty person

[musingsdiary]

It's really weird to live in a city where even at 3:12 am it's light outside

Also I want to die I wish the light outside would fill my body and roots would grow from my feet and ground me so that I could actually feel something other than a hurricane

[musingsdiary]

A. You're never around because you cherish alcohol too much. You don't care about my problems half of the time. I liked you pre 6 years ago. A.2 I almost hate you with every ounce of my body and you don't know half the things you talk about. You also cherish alcohol too much.

B. You probably care about me the most, but it's so hard to get in contact with you. Especially since you got that job, which I'm happy about. B.2 I definitely hate you with every ounce of my body, and I still to this day cannot fathom why anyone would ever appreciate or like you. When the day comes for you to get out, I will be glad to show you the door that's been waiting to open for a long time.

C. You used to care, and then you betrayed me. Now you act like you care, but I know deep inside I'm still the horrible thing that's plagued you for your entire life. C.2 You used to be tolerable until the thing in the garage. Now I regret everything nice I tried to do for you. I always tried to accept you, but you're nothing. I hope the cigarettes and booze kill you.

[jellfyish]

I really feel like shit today and I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I just really wish I could fall off the grid for a year or so And that things I need didn’t cost money

[musingsdiary]

Now I know I can’t trust anyone.

[musingsdiary]

It hurts my heart to not answer your call. I feel morally inclined to answer and be there for you, but I can’t. I just can’t. I love you so much kid. And I miss you. But this can’t go on. I’m not ready. Just know I’m thinking about you all the time, and I love you.

[musingsdiary]

Why do I push good people away? I need to stop depending on like 2 people for my happiness

[musingsdiary]

I still think about you quite a bit. We were stupid then. It’s hard to think about. I wish you’d still keep in touch. I hate you not speaking to me. I hate that I can’t reach out because I know you don’t want me to. I know I’ve moved on and honestly I’m happy. But I still think about you. I knew what I was getting myself into, dating a childhood friend, but I didn’t listen to myself. Now neither of us confide in each other, and you probably don’t even read my messages. I’m trying to be a better person, I never hated you. I honestly think if we started talking again it would be like old times. We never connected deeply enough for it to matter. But you were vulnerable.

[cruelteenagers-deactivated20160]

@ everyone who went through a period of having no friends, who ate alone, who had a point in their life where they were too embarrassed to tell their parents they had no one to play with after school: I love you. I know it hurts and I know it’s hard but it’s not your fault. Things will grow and change. You will find people who you click with and they will love you too. You deserve positive friendship relationships just like anyone else. And if you’re still going through this phase, you’re strong, and things will change for you too. You are not alone, there are people experiencing the same thing you are, find them, you deserve positivity and companionship. Keep your head up.

[musingsdiary]

You’re such a toxic element.

[musingsdiary]

How can I appreciate you when all you’ve done is rain on my parade?

[musingsdiary]

Maybe talking to you was a bad decision

[musingsdiary]

All the people who post their stupid self-harm pictures and relapse crap are just seeking attention and god I hate it