i hate the thought of recovery on myself but wish it on other people because i know they deserve to be happy i wish i could see that for myself but i just cant i cant be fat again i cant be a fat girl at school who will only dream of having a boyfriend i cant be called any fatphobic names again i cant have sausage fingers again i cant get bigger boobs i cant loose my collarbones/thigh gap i cant be that fat girl i know its horrible to think this way
when i was fat everyone would always judge me on it even if they didnt show it i always saw the judgment in there eyes.
when i was fat everyone in my family would always mention how fat i was whenever they saw me eating or how much bigger i looked when they just saw me going to school.
when i was fat i could never post my body i hated the look of it i hated everything i would pretend it didnt exist.
when i was fat no boy ever saw me for anything more than sex theyd never ever want to actually get to know me and even worse they only wanted me for SEX but would be ashamed to ever bring it up because I WAS FAT.
overall being fat is never worth it never ever to me i can never recovery i dont want to recover i rather be thin and sick than be fat and healthy.















