“Ah, my birthday. Normally I’d put on a festive hat and celebrate the fact that the Earth has circled the Sun one more time; I really didn’t think it was going to make it this year, but darn it if it wasn’t the little planet that could all over again.”
“Billionaires buy movie studios to get laid. They buy hospitals to get respect.”
“Do you know what the human body goes through when you have sex? Pupils dilate, arteries constrict, core temperature rises, heart races, blood pressure skyrockets, respiration becomes rapid and shallow, the brain fires bursts of electrical impulses from nowhere to nowhere, and secretions spit out of every gland, and the muscles tense and spasm like you’re lifting three times your body weight.”
“Figures you’d try and come up with a solution where no one gets hurt. The problem is, the world doesn’t work that way just ‘cause you want it to.”
“How would you feel if I interfered in your personal life?”
“I don’t have the right to show interest in someone?”
“I said I was an addict, I didn’t say I had a problem. I pay my bills, I make my meals. I function.”
“I’m pretty sure I’m not going to like you. It’s nothing personal, I don’t like anybody.”
“I’m sorry, but the fact that the sexual pleasure center of your cerebral cortex has been over-stimulated by spirochetes is a poor basis for a relationship.”
“I’ve been alienating people since I was three.”
“My joints have been feeling all loose, and lately I’ve been feeling sick a lot.”
“Oh, I’m sorry, I thought we were having a state-the-obvious contest. I’m competitive by nature.”
“Our bodies break down, sometimes when we’re 90, sometimes before we’re even born, but it always happens and there’s never any dignity in it. I don’t care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass. It’s always ugly - always! We can live with dignity - we can’t die with it.”
“Parents are never as bad as kids think they are.”
“So you’re here to tell me I have just a few hours to live?”
“Thirty percent of all dads out there don’t realize they’re raising someone else’s kid.”
“This would be a very good time to offer me a bribe. How much is your life worth?”
“Treating illnesses is why we became doctors. Treating patients is what makes most doctors miserable.”
“What I have difficulty with is the whole concept of belief. Faith isn’t based on logic and experience.”
“What would you prefer - a doctor who holds your hand while you die or one who ignores you while you get better? I suppose it would particularly suck to have a doctor who ignores you while you die.”
“Where is the miracle in delivering a crack-addicted baby? Hmm? Then watching her mother abandon her ‘cause she needs another score. Miracle of love. You’re over twice as likely to be killed by the person you love than by a stranger.”
“You have little people inside you.”
“You know, in some cultures, it’s considered almost rude for one friend to spy on another.”
“You took a chance, you did something great. You were wrong, but it was still great. You should feel great that it was great. You should feel like crap that it was wrong.”
janainaart
2087
izzy806
snowghoul
gummygunk
pixelskylines
