TW ED

She/her, 17, 5’8 Sw: 142 lbs Cw: 135 lbs Ugw: 110 lbs

[my-boyfriend-ed]

You are noticed by people when you walk by

You look good in everything

People think that you look cute when you eat

You are not chubby

You are not fat

This could be your reality, don’t ignore your potential.

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I wonder what it’s like to talk to people who actually listen and don’t interrupt you by talking about themselves

Can’t imagine

[my-boyfriend-ed]

Me pretending to be hungry in front of my friends and family like:

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I wish I never agreed on moving here. I left all my friends, my big beautiful house and everything I knew. I hate living on the countryside. I hate the people here. I would never have relapsed if I would have stayed.

Now I have no friends.

[my-boyfriend-ed]

Summer is just around the corner

I’m cheering for you 💕

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I want to dance in a field with my best friends in pretty dresses and not give a shit

[valentina-poem]

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I watched a youtube video today that I used to watch as a child and the top comment was from 2020 and said “damn I can’t believe this was seven years ago” and I started crying because I realized my childhood is over and I hate myself for what I’ve become.

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I was a patient at an eating disorder clinic. They told my patents to bring food to one of our therapy sessions, to watch how a meal was eaten by me.

It was a pasta salad, and I ate it so much slower than I normally would. When I finally finished, I felt absolutely terrible. That’s when my therapists says that I need to start eating dairy again. I lost it. Dairy was my worst fear food at the time. I remember crying, no sobbing my way out of the building. My mom lend me her sunglasses to hide my tears.

I hated them for making me eat that, but something inside me said that it was for my own sake. Eat or starve. Live or die.

Sometimes I wonder if all that was for nothing. I’m back at the same place I mentally was when I was twelve. I’m seventeen today. My current therapist told me at my last meeting that I’ve spent all my teenage years in anorexia and hating my body. I don’t want the rest of my life to be like that. But I want to be skinny.

Eat or starve. Live or die.

[my-boyfriend-ed]

I went to school the first time in forever today.

I’m always complaining about online-school, but one hour back in a real classroom and I wanted to die. I think it’s my friends. They always give me backhanded compliments.

Today, one of my friends said:

“I like your hair today, you look like a mom!”

She said it like she ment it nicely, but.. I’m seventeen.. I don’t want to look like a mom..

[my-boyfriend-ed]

Does your ribs show when you breathe?

No? Keep going

Yes? Keep going

No matter your weight, keep going.

[my-boyfriend-ed]

Ten year old me would be so disappointed

[my-boyfriend-ed]

When your friend wants you to come over for Ben and Jerry and chill but you know that one tub is 1000 cals

I’m sorry maybe another time xx

[moonlightmydear]

Reblog this if you promise to never go back to your start weight

[incrediblythin]

Reblog if you're determined to be the skinny girl you've always wanted to be within the next six months.

[see-through-bones]

This time will work

[thxndream]

excited to see myself as a skinni bitch

[my-boyfriend-ed]

Can we talk about how hard it is to maintain? Lose weight? Sure. Gain weight? Suure. Maintain your lost weight? ITS SO FUCKING HARD LIKE HOW DO YOU EAT NORMALLY WHEN YOU QUIT YOUR DIET??

[my-boyfriend-ed]

What is it like to be pretty? Like being gorgeous. Loved by everyone. Getting compliments every single day. Being one of those girls who KNOWS that everyone has a crush on them.

I wish I was one of those girls