stupid textposts

credit to my friends and family whom i shamelessly steal the sayings of for these and also credit to my friend for being quoted in my banner

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Cassie: Conner is dead— Tim: THAT'S WHAT THEY WANT YOU TO THINK.

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Dick, texting Tim after patrol where smth went wrong: Babs probably hates me now 🥺🥺 Timbin: You're a grown man. Don't send me that emoji.

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Duke: people are so weird they got me like

Steph: wait lwk why does that look like lex just stuck something up where the sun don't shine and supes wasn't ready?

╰ Duke: he did trust I was there invisible

Damian: WHAT

Damian: Excuse me. Repeat that. Verbally where someone can hear you say that.

Steph: he has the "hehehe swiggity swooty gimme dat booty" face while supes is like: "WHAT"

Damian: STEPH WHAT. repeat that please. he has the Huh face. I did not see that please repeat.

Steph: the "imma do butt stuff to ya" face

Damian: I'm appalled. Frankly appalled.

Steph: lmfaoo

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Bart at 2am at a sleepover: we should steal the moon

Kon: not worth it the moon is lame

Tim: if either of you complain about being tired tomorrow i will kill you slowly and painfully

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Dick, loudly playing white girl music and singing along: (insert lyrics here idfk Ed Sheeran songs)

Tim, tired of this: can you shut the fuck up

Dick: No ✨

Tim: can Ed Sheeran shut the fuck up

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Tim: someone left their dildo in the dishwasher

Dick, sitting in a dishwasher: um rude

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Tim: where's the spoons

Tim: ok fine fuck you too

Tim: eating ice cream with a fork

Everyone in the vicinity: NO

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Bart: would you still love me if i was a tinfoil goo goo gaga santa?

Tim: no.

Cassie: what even is that

Kon: oh ive seen those things. look

Tim:.. what the fuck

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based off @m-ozzy asking me this and sending me that video

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Jason, bored: hey guys what anime have you watched

Damian: Tt. Only the best ones.

Dick: oh, I like Pokémon! And Ouran host club :)

Tim: Death note cause it's fun. Boku No Hero Academia—

Jason: Ha, you call it BNHA! Nerd.

Tim: says you. You literally hate-watch the 2005 pride and prejudice movie.

Jason: THEY ADAPTED DARCY WRONG AND I NEED TO RANT ABOUT IT

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Bart: would you still love me if i was a tinfoil goo goo gaga santa?

Tim, lying: no.

Cassie: what even is that

Kon: oh ive seen those things. look

Tim:.. what the fuck

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Lobo right after joining YJ: What, so you're all a buncha fraggots?

Everyone other than Kon and Lobo: Lobo you can't say that—

Kon: yeah pretty much

Tim, glaring: Superboy.

Kon: What! It's true!

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Tim, rummaging through his collection of blackmail photos, grabs one of Jason smoking a cigarette: oh! I forgot I had this one.

Dick: little wing! Don't you know nicotine is addictive?!

Jason, referencing the WSGFs post: it's a weed cigarette. And it's called a bunt.

Tim: and do you have three girlfriends to smoke bunts with, or are you one of the three girlfriends?

Jason, shrugs:

Dick: ??? Little wing?? Babybird??? Is this an inside joke???

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Bart: guys you know animal crossing new horizons

Bart: like, sea bass, it's at least a C+!

Kon: sea bass more like fish ass

Tim: that wasn't even a good joke?

Kon: you wouldn't know a good joke if it slapped you on the ass

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Cassie: ykw my new years resolution is for my boyfriend to get a boyfriend

Tim: It's July.

Kon: I- what. I'm not gay??

Bart: I dunno man. If your girlfriend decides it that's pretty much canon.

Cissie: Bart what the actual fuck are you talking about

Cassie: and my second new years resolution is to get a girlfriend

Kon: wh— you're dating me?? You- I'm not gay! Are you gay?! Cassie???

Tim: if it matters I'd probably be a good third.

Cissie: yeah me too, we could be a polycule actually

Kon: what. What the hell.

Bart: polycules are too much work guys, you have to get so many presents on Valentine's Day.

Tim: and when have you been in a polycule?

Bart: yesterday, duh, keep up

Kon: ???

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9yo Tim for some ungodly reason: oh boy time to parkour across buildings and stalk a cryptid!

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Tim in the cloning era: As soon as my boyfriend that I haven't asked out comes back to life the wedding is back on.

Cassie, actual girlfriend of the boyfriend mentioned: hey so. What the fuck are you talking about

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ill make this an intropost later or something