my daily awe

our med school's pastoral care director told us to look for our daily awe. this is my attempt to do just that.

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Music guest Ms. Lauryn Hill performs a cover of Nina Simone's "Feeling Good" for the Tonight Show audience.

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Betty White's 93rd birthday surprise!

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Spontaneous subway dance party, courtesy of one adorable little girl

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"Ex-NFL Player Who Made $25 Million Quit Football At Age 29 To Become A Farmer"

"The Curious Case of Jason Brown"

"My agent, he told me, 'You're making the biggest mistake of your life,'" Brown told CBS. "And I looked right back at him and I said, 'No I am not.' Brown is doing this to help the less fortunate. He grows sweet potatoes and other vegetables and donates his harvest to food pantries. According to the New & Observer, he has given away 46,000 pounds of sweet potatoes and 10,000 pounds of cucumbers this fall. 'When you see them pop up out of the ground, man it's the most beautiful thing you could ever see,' he said of harvesting the sweet potatoes." Read more: http://www.businessinsider.com/jason-brown-quit-football-farmer-2014-11#ixzz3Kwz8nBe3

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"Patrick Speaks"

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next level dad

We had the cystic fibrosis clinic day in Pediatric Pulmonology today. When I came back from seeing a patient, I found the nurse and the attending talking about one of the patient's dads. The nurse had noticed that the little girl had her nails painted and she said her dad actually did it for her and a bunch of her friends. The nails weren't just painted, they had very carefully placed polka dots too. And apparently the father was looking into getting a special nail table for the girl and her friends so they wouldn't have to do it on the floor. I commented, "Wow, that's some next level dad skills right there!" And the attending commented, "He's like 5 or 6 levels above actually. He's really incredible." The nurse then commented, tears welling up in her eyes: "Dad took the needle first today...just so she wouldn't be scared."

Cystic fibrosis is a difficult condition to manage in a child. I've seen how it puts strains on relationships and many parents end up divorcing because of those stresses. This dad, on the other hand, was truly the paradigm of excellent parenting. This nurse has been working with patients and families for so long, and yet this encounter moved her to tears. Seeing her eyes well up inevitably made mine well up too, and we quickly change topics before the waterworks started. But it's a feeling of being so moved that I want to hold on to throughout my career.

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complexity

Yesterday, a Friday at 4:30 pm, I picked up a 17-year-old patient who came in with a sore throat and headaches. After taking a history of his symptoms, he asked me if stress can cause rashes. I responded that stress can manifest in many different ways, and I asked him what sorts of stress he has. He described emotional stress with family and friends, and I encouraged him to find healthy ways to cope with stress. I was noticing that although he was pleasant and responsive, he also seemed particularly stressed and anxious in the room with me--something was telling me that there was more going on here. After me digging a little more, eventually he asked me, "Is there a way I can be tested for schizophrenia?"

As it turned out, he was having auditory hallucinations and was starting to get worried once he realized they were abnormal. He sought our help under the guise of a "sore throat and headaches," which were certainly real symptoms, but not the symptoms that were really bothering him. We quickly moved into action to get him the help he needs--we set him up with a psychiatry consult, crisis hotline number, informed his mother that he would be seeking psychiatric care, and set up another appointment to see him early the following week. The resident admitted to me that if he had gone in to see the patient first, he would have done a simple throat swab Strep test and moved on without even realizing the true underlying problem that he needed help for.

I felt helpful and valuable as a 3rd year medical student--a rare feeling at this stage in my training. I also did my best to express to the patient my concern and desire to help and connect with him. I am hopeful that the team were collectively able to do just that.

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an unexpected kindness

The other day I was in a rush, my credit card wasn't working, and I was late to meet a friend. I was frazzled,  hot, and stressed. I went to a convenience store to get some change for my $20 where I was greeted by an older Indian gentleman. As I was buying my water and gum, this is how our conversation went:

"Are you Indian?" "Yes, my parents were born in India but I was born here in New York." "Do you speak Hindi?" "Nope" "Oh you don't right? Why not?" "Well, because I'm South Indian!" "Ah because you're South Indian. You know...you have a very nice face. The girls here, they don't have nice face. But you have very nice face." "Oh wow...thank you..." "You have a face like a mother. When I see your face, I remember my mother's face." "My mom says something similar...that when she sees my face she remembers her mother too." Then we smiled and parted ways. I left that store immensely moved and peaceful. One small, beautiful, completely unexpected compliment from a stranger made all the difference.

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"I can't describe what exactly about these films is so special, so soul-shifting, so life-affirming. It functions on small moments...But it also, weirdly, makes you feel like you've really lived when you leave the theater, like as if your heart has gone on a grand, courageous adventure, even though all you were doing was sitting in a dark room."

My best friend, Jennifer Arellano

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"Weakness, fear, and hopelessness died. Strength, power, and courage was born."

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A brilliant takedown of Dr. Oz's "medical advice" show.

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"Watch for the Edges"

"When Toni Morrison was asked how she found the time to write as a single, poor mother, she responded that she writes, 'in the edges of the day.' In that moment, all of my excuses were exposed for that they were: lies. Comfortable lies. They were warm blankets against the cold truth that I was using my child to justify my unwillingness to fight for my dream.  The edges are there. Sometimes you have to wait for them, but stay alert. They often whistle softly in the distance like a freight train and require one to run alongside for awhile. I've written entire pieces in my head while vacuuming and outlines while rocking a baby to sleep.  So for all of you who dream big dreams while sitting on the floor with little drooling people, surrounded by toys, crumbs, mismatched socks, piles of laundry, and scattered ambition, take heart. And watch for the edges." [from Bunmi Laditan]

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Fireworks, captured differently. Put technology and creativity together and you get something truly awe-inspiring.