[obesitea]

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

im back here, having gained a lot of weight. any accounts on here or maybe tiktok that are good thinspo and motivational ?

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

for the first time in a long time, i cry because i cannot eat what i want to. even if it’s just a bowl of soup. i can’t do it and im not allowed. i feel terrible

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

in these times i don’t know who to go to without being committed into a hospital.

im seriously considering hurting myself today

i cannot kill my self, no matter how much i think of it every single day.

im selfish enough and i deserve to suffer so i think i deserve scars to show for it

im scared to cut myself too deep and i’m afraid of open skin i just-

who the fuck am i

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

i don’t know how im supposed to get through these years, months, weeks, days, or even hours.

im ready to accept my fate :/

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

i think this is the

last

time i spend alive

i dont know how im supposed to spend the rest of my life like this

i am only alive because of my brother james.

if no one loved me and i had no family i would end this life right now.

i want to die but my soul will be cursed by the pain i cause the ones i love me



[mydeaththroughbeauty]

im so sorry

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

fuck

here we go again

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

today my boyfriend told me he’s been having suicidal thoughts, wether they’ve been indirect or not. i didn’t have the heart to tell him i feel the same. i could only hug him.

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

im scared

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

kill this cunt aka me

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

yeah it’s been awhile

and i’m a completely different person

but just as if not more fucked up than before

today i actually considered ending my life

im greatly confused and i don’t know where to go or what to do

im not even ready for help

it’s all

redundant

who i actually am hasn’t come out for more than a day in the past month or so

im 125 pounds. how else do i cope lmao

i can be 95 pounds again and be semi fucking healthy

if i’m starving myself i can’t drink it’s too many calories

this is disappointing

sorry if u love me and u read this

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

I do wish I could be small again but not have to lose weight, I don’t even care about the number I just want to look tiny again ):

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

i know you are in a lot of pain & heartbreak right now, but i want you to know: i'm sorry. you deserve recovery, and it may be hard, but in the long run, it'll be good for you. you truly deserve to be happy & healthy after all that you have been through. i honestly hope the best on your recovery and you never relapsing. i hope you can live a happy, healthy life outside of this disorder; you truly deserve it. lastly, if today isn't a good day, i hope tomorrow can be. much love & support~

❤️

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

hello, love. 🥀 i hope your recovery process is going well. you truly deserve to be happy & healthy. i truly hope your body and mind are on your side, for you do not deserve to have a fixation on food & calories. i truly wish you the best & are doing well. i hope you have a blissful day, and a very very wonderful, safe & long-lasting recovery. you deserve so much, happiness being one of them. much love, & concern. have a wonderful day, and stay safe. (+if you need anything, i’m here for you) 🥀

Thank you so much

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

I hope you’re all okay and recovering and nurishing your bodies <3

[mydeaththroughbeauty]

Why do I feel like this