I have identified with “pet” for as long as I can remember. I was 4 years old hiding under tables and wanting to be an animal. I was 9 and obsessed with playing pretend and being some mad scientist’s newly transformed weak puppy experiment, helpless and unable to vocalize my desire to be turned back; but actually, I secretly loved what I’d become. I was 7, 8 years old and pretending I was a pikachu because I loved maining him in smash64. I have always been your animal, your pet, I have always wanted to depend on you.
As I’ve grown I’ve gained a wisdom and power that only the meek have access to. Something about me is dark and immense like the ocean. Like a quiet hell unlocked by raw love. I know the things I’ve endured have made me terrifying in some intense, inwards way. But I’m often unable and quiet, and it betrays something about me. I don’t want to depend on you fully. I don’t think I’m worthless. I think I’m precious and strange because the fact was beaten into me all my life, I was a thing that was coveted while simultaneously being discarded and disgusting. I don’t know. It’s not..it’s not that I want to abandon myself for you. It’s not that I think I’m useless and weak. But I’m not like a person and I am like a creature. I have so much love and it’s only been made bigger after the constant strife and agony. I can love you and I want to. Doesn’t that sound like the ideal pet..?








