I love having a parrot because one minute they are the most beautiful creature ever to exist and the next they’ve turned to face you straight on and you’re cry-laughing because from the front they look like someone put googly eyes on a banana

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@myfireproofheart
I love having a parrot because one minute they are the most beautiful creature ever to exist and the next they’ve turned to face you straight on and you’re cry-laughing because from the front they look like someone put googly eyes on a banana
*munch*
The Signs as South Park kids
Aries: Bebe
Taurus: Clyde
Gemini: Tweek
Cancer: Heidi
Leo: Cartman
Virgo: Token
Libra: Wendy
Scorpio: Kyle
Sagittarius: Kenny
Capricorn: Stan
Aquarius: Craig
Pisces: Butters
I have never seen something so fucking accurate.
you: birds aren’t that great
me:
you: holy shit
hold on. you want me, a MAN, to buy this body wash which doesn’t have the word “SPORT” in the name and it doesn’t say FOR MEN anywhere? nice try, pal
Florence Welch singing “Part Of Your World” from (The Little Mermaid)
I am cured, my acne is gone and I don’t feel depressed.
Man saves House Finch frozen to rail.
That poor bird had to be terrified
It tweeted thank you
Sometimes I love humans
don’t hurt BEES. they just want to pollinate flowers and make honey. hurt WASP’s. fuck them and their old money, big mansions, and country clubs
President Barack Obama’s farewell address [1/10/17]
An Aquarius kissed me on New Years eve, and she smiled at me and held my hand softly in hers. She slowly placed her hands on my cheeks and tells me a happy new year and said, “Enjoy it. Love every bit of it, the new you and the new, well, everything..” An Aries roughly pulled me into a kiss, and then smiled at me. She gave me a 1-2 jab on the chest and placed her hands on my cheeks and greeted me a new year and said, “Don’t go back. You don’t look back.” she smiled once more and kissed me. A Cancer laughed and giggled and jumped in my arms and cheered with me for the New Year. She placed her hands on my cheeks and kissed me softly and said, “Conquer this year, and make sure you make the best of it..” A Capricorn leaned herself to me, the lingering smell of alcohol on her clothes she spilled two minutes before the countdown. She placed her hands around my neck and looked into my eyes and smiled and said, “You make this count. Don’t you ever regret it. Don’t you ever regret me.” A Gemini laughed beside and she pulled out of the balcony where we were alone. She pulled me into her arms and smiled, “Happy New Year. Don’t make dumb decisions.” she whispered into my ear before pushing me away, and went back into the crowd. A Leo guided me to a room and sat me down and smiled at me seductively. “Let’s make this year a year to remember..” A Libra smiled and rested her head on my shoulder and sat with me in silence, the crowd cheered for the new year and sang. She placed a hand on mine and squeezed it softly and whispered, “Happy New Year..” A Pisces jumped into my arms and kissed me over and over and looked down at me. She smiled at me told me how happy she was that she was going to start a new year with me, and I hope we continue to spend more new years together. A Sagittarius gave me drinks and we drank throughout the night, we laughed and danced and she thanked me for being such a wonderful date, she kissed me on the cheek and we managed to talk and drained ourselves before the night was over. She greeted me a new year and kissed me once more. A Scorpio drowned herself with alcohol and it was a blast, she made herself the life of the party and as the ball dropped and the new year began, we all cheered and laughed. She grabbed me and kissed me and whispered to keep her safe for the new year. A Taurus danced with me and got tangled in each others arms, we laughed and talked, we smilled. It felt as if the crowd was disappearing before us and it was just only us. She brushed her nose with mine and giggled at how childish that was. The countdown began and we whispered the numbers to ourselves. She smiled and kissed me. The fireworks in the background, the view was amazing. A Virgo looked me in the eyes, a soft smile on her lips. She placed a hand on my cheek. The countdown began and I gazed into her eyes. A tear moves down her cheek, and as the countdown reached 1.. she leaned and whispered into my ear, “Forget me…” and sadly she rose and squeezed my arm before standing and leaving the room.
New Year (via hoyitspaolo)