Smoke&Mirrors

[myjoyandsorrows]

Why did you text me Why WHY Of course it's everything I wanted you to do but I know it's just gonna end in you not responding, and me feeling like shit. I want to talk to you but I can't. It hurts too much.

[myjoyandsorrows]

I feel so lost and helpless. I don't know what to do right now. Like I'm literally sitting here staring at the walls bc I'm just so flatline

[myjoyandsorrows]

Not talking to you is so fucking difficult I can't concentrate on anything.

[myjoyandsorrows]

I can't believe I let myself get attached to someone so much. I thought this was different. I thought he was special. I thought we were something special. I just don't understand how things can change so fast. How we can have a great first date and then 10 days later you say you don't see us having a romantic relationship? That definitely wasn't the case before.. I just hate feeling so pathetic. You are the only person who makes me feel like I'm anything other than that. I don't know what to do without you.

[myjoyandsorrows]

I just want to move away and start my life over and be someone else. I want to meet new people and make new memories and feel free. But I can't. I feel trapped in this world and I can't shake the feeling that I'm never going to be loved. I fucking hate this.

[myjoyandsorrows]

Just once I would like to wake up and not be so sad and miserable. I wanna wake up and be happy and go out and do things, not fall back asleep.

[myjoyandsorrows]

Depression sucks bc nothing really happened to me but I feel sad right now. It just comes and goes and right now it's here and I just have to deal with it. I feel so off and just like nothing is right. I'm getting anxious about school and upcoming stuff how I'm gonna be able to make it through till summer.. That's all I want. Is to relax and sleep for a long time and not have to worry about something for once.

[myjoyandsorrows]

My blog turns 1 today YAAAAY

[myjoyandsorrows]

I feel it. I'm definitely falling in love.

[myjoyandsorrows]

I think I love you

[myjoyandsorrows]

I had a panic attack last night.. It was the first one in a while and I just feel like shit today

[myjoyandsorrows]

I feel like screaming

[myjoyandsorrows]

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders. It's not completely gone, but it's not as heavy as it was. This is getting easier.

[myjoyandsorrows]

:(

[myjoyandsorrows]

I'm cold and lonely And no one can fix me

[myjoyandsorrows]

I'm texting someone trying to console them but then being consoled by someone else I'm texting. I am the consolee and consoler

[myjoyandsorrows]

You said you miss me and that's all I need to know.