Mommy Universe

Anxiety comfort through Vedic astrology| Diary |

[12thhouserevelations]

Never allow the world to shame you for loving your womanhood and appreciating beauty. Never allow them to belittle you or label you as vain or superficial because you enjoy ornamenting & displaying yourself. They are trying to force you to embody your Shakti less. But you are actually participating in creation and allowing Shakti to be born through your vessel, rather than simply consuming Her unconsciously while judging Her manifestations, like they are.

[mylovewithyourlove]

Good, I’m glad. fuck you

Have a nice life

[therhodestohappiness]

[mishal-69]

[mylovewithyourlove]

An amateur of Earth. They gave me a life to test out my theories. Safe to say it’s not going great. Life can’t be lived in theory. Not that I wanted to do that. But my theories occupy my mind and so they occupy my time.

Love is absent because I cannot love what does not love me too. And nobody loves me because I am way too “smart” “intelligent” “old” and “aware” of the End; El Fin. Everyone dies. Apparently most frequent livers of life don’t like hearing this.

Apparently frequency/quantity of lives does not equal wisdom.

But quality of lives, as in my case, does not equal wisdom either. It keeps your dome (head) open chronically. So I always know I am missing something- I know I haven’t reached the mountain top and so I think that this is wisdom…this knowing that I do not know.

It is only frustration and doubt…

An amateur of life can still be perfect as she is. Perfectly half here and half a mind away. Both magnetized to my desires and cruelly distant from them because I know how it ends.

The problem is that no one loves me. I think that’s what it is. If someone loved me I could endure the pain of living . But as no one is loving me, I really don’t get why I am doing what I’m doing.

I rise and become sharper as a person/character. But I’m still insane from the wound of not being loved.

I think it’s great that all intellectual musings, can be reduced to me just crabby over wishing I had someone who WANTED to hold me.

[mylovewithyourlove]

For I am in love with you.

For me to be acquainted with your dharma and for you to know mine.

Our hearts are true, our love is brave.

Truth set upon truth. Bodies unite.

[mylovewithyourlove]

I’m happy when I’m sad

[mylovewithyourlove]

I don’t take my cirsumstances personally (the echo of my past actions)

Everyday you are a different person* that’s how humans are.

So when bad things happen, do not blame yourself. Just catch the relay baton as best you can and run a great race.

Run as you are (come as you are), right then. The You who you will be tomorrow, will pick it up the baton and run again. Do not feign enthusiasm. And don’t douse your zeal. Run as you are.

Different Person*: Personality is like clothes. Yes it somewhat reflects your nature.. but only in the sense that you can use clothing to express yourself. I say sometimes because what about those of us who can’t afford to buy the clothes we want.

We get hand-me-downs or we buy what we can afford. Does that mean that these clothes represent us? They are representative of the circumstances we are under. They do not represent our actual free will and choice

( free will and choice =soul)

So no, don’t be your personality. Use it, manipulate it, wear it. And when it is dirty, take it off and wear something fresh and clean.

[mylovewithyourlove]

[mylovewithyourlove]

Scorpio

You do it to yourself.. the pain (“the betrayal”).

You want to get to the root of whatever and whomever you meet. You find the openings in their eyes and the cracks in their smile. You fit yourself into them to understand them, by merging with their biology.

The problem is that most of the people you meet don’t want to open fully to you.

So instead of finding your way to their heart, they lead you to their bowels and eventually shit you out.

And in the long, dark, twisting, lonely experience of the intestinal tract, you convince yourself that you hate yourself for being so disgusting and alone.

But the right people will let you delve into their blood vessels and organs. They’ll let you swim within them, and let you into their heart, where biology meets evolution and transcendence.

But for now, you have to deal with the shit canal of the person you swore would be the one this time.

[mylovewithyourlove]

It’s honestly exhausting and impossible to be me and I wish I didn’t have to do it.

[mylovewithyourlove]

Being a Scorpio rising affects your memory. Because of the constant inner transformation, working with memory in terms of chronological events is a pitfall.

Memory comes form your navel-from your blood and tissue. Feel into your memory. Don’t think it.

[mylovewithyourlove]

Mercury in 12th house synastry

(From the 12th house person to the mercury person):

We are at this incredible depth

I Mean to tell you everything until there’s nothing left.

Your kisses feel a little too gentle

So I pull you in

Down deep under

I know you can swim

I go on forever…there are no walls, floors or ceilings

And all I feel is how you love me in my oblivion

[mylovewithyourlove]

Saturn in Pisces Fear

“I can’t let anyone know that I don’t want to live”

[mylovewithyourlove]

Venus 12 house synastry.

A confession from the 12th house person to the Venus person:

“Dear…

I feel like being intimate with you.

I feel like you could make me feel so elated.

I want my freedom to be with other people if I wanted to.

You keep me safe

I’ve never been intimate with anyone. I have wanted to, but i never did it because i wanted to feel safe and loved and emotionally fulfilled.

And idk why but I feel like you could make me feel safe enough to give you permission to touch me and use me and take care of me.

I feel like I need to keep us a secret

Because of work, because of my brother. But also because when I feel your love, I am so vulnerable. I want to give myself to you and let you guide me to peace and pleasure.

I never show this part of me to anyone. I cannot afford to now. I don’t know if I will ever be able to in the future.

I feel hungry for love with you.

I want to absolutely submit to the pleasure you could provide. I want to shiver and shake from your touch and kisses.

I feel like I’m a terrible person for demanding all this.

I feel like I cannot promise you anything . I just want your incredible love”

[mylovewithyourlove]

Needing a love that is refuge

[mylovewithyourlove]

I still think you should give me a chance even though you’re scared. I wouldn’t hurt you.

But I guess you don’t know that, because you don’t know me. We’re still strangers. I can’t change that.