Internal Monologue

Here i shall post the outcomes pf interactions between myself and the constructs of my mind. Plus any bullshit related or not related to my internal monologues. Deal.

[mymarcnuniverse]

Rope Update

So it seems that my neck is so powerful that i am able to support my own body weight with it and if i were to try again i would only make it stronger.

[mymarcnuniverse]

Lock Down Feeling

I no longer know whether the lack of human contact is starting to affect me or if my ego is starting to starve seeing as if i leave my house to go passive aggressively taunt the idiots who went outside during a pandemic i would have to star taunting myself. Yeah that’s a bad idea because if insult myself anymore that i already do that rope under my bed is finally going to be useful.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 008

Me : Its a switch blade. Its useful for my practicals because god forbid it be better to cut something with a sturdy knife than a machete. Dad : Its a weapon. Your would be carrying a recognized weapon. Me : It would be concealed like everything else in my pockets. Dad : That's not any better. Besides if you got into a fight with this it would be like handing them a knife. Mom : I just don't like you having weapons. Me : I have two machetes, a recurve bow, an axe and modified throwing darts. For a sixteen year old I'm pretty well fucking armed. Dad : Watch your language. Me : You suggested getting something to defend myself when on my way from classes and wouldn't buy me mace or a taser. plus i bought this with my own money so bugger off.

*grabs knife and storms out of room *

Hellious : You know none of that happened right.

Me : It works better this way. At least...

Sinkey : Before you comment please remember that i can literally replay throug all your actual memories.

Me : Fine that’s not what happened.

Ramathal : Yes. You standing still almost wetting yourself as your old man waves around the knife your gf gave you while spouting unintelligent christian dribble is definitely different from having any semblance of a spine.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 007

Me : So you guys have been quiet for while.

Ramathal : We exist in order to allow you to better interpret the world around you. See as said world has come almost to a stand still theirs nothing to really interpret.

Hellious : I would agree with you if it weren’t for the fear mongering jackasses coming out of the wood work.

Sinkey : A near apocalyptic environment, like a pandemic is a breading ground for radicalism and conspiracy theorist. Who could have ever imagined?

Hellious : To answer your rhetorical question honestly, anyone with half a braincell. So not you.

Sinkey : Furry Twat.

Me : Ok so its just as chaotic as ever i would imagine. Hey Ram isn’t fighting with hell your thing.

Ramathal : I wouldn’t call it fighting more like an attempt at constructive argument.

Me : *Raising an eyebrow* Constructive argument?

Ramathal : I said an attempt.

Me : Ok then.... Have you seen Cythe around. She should be at least the size of a small house cat considering my current mood usually.

Cythe : I suppose i should meow then.

Me : Considering your appearance right now it wouldn’t be too weird. A little cute actually.

Cythe : *Shooting me death glares with her red glowing eyes*

Me : Back to normal i see. Well that’s good.

Sinkey : Yes and i assume you think the holocaust was somehow the churches fault to.

Hellious : They supported the Axis so bloody YES.

Me : Hey Ram. Any idea why they’re arguing about the Catholic church and the holocaust.

Ramathal : Considering that they were talking about radicalism and fear mongering just a bit earlier it seems like a plausible progression.

Me : Would of thought the crusades would have come up at least once in their squabble by now.

Ramathal : If you don’t mind my asking why are you abbreviating mine and Hellious’ names all of a sudden.

Me : Oh, that’s because your names are a pain to type sometimes. Shit, Just broke perspective didn’t I?

Ramathal : No need to worries. Its not like anyone actually reads this blog any ways.

Hellious : Considering what the Catholic church did to them during it only makes sense that some Muslims would hold a grudge.

Sinkey : That doesn’t justify fucking terrorism and public execution now does it?

Me & Cythe: *simultainiously* So they did bring it up.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 006

Sinkey : That’s a nice character build but why does it look like Cythe.

Me : Oh... Uh well she asked really nicely and since she really doesn’t talk all that much I figured it was something she considers important.

Sinkey : Okay. Cool. But what game is this exactly.

Me : *hesitantly* No game in particular just something that popped into the library one day.

Sinkey : Alright forget sivility. You do know that Cythe is a humanoid cat.

Me : *sighs* Yes.

Sinkey : So you are essentially building a furso *interupted*

Hellious : That looks cool. Reminds me of what’s her name. Oh yeah Cythe.

Me : Yeah. She asked my to base my character design off of her.

Ramathal : But given her humanoid-feline appearance wouldn’t that mean...

*eleven seconds of awkward silence*

Me : Yes it’s a fursona. I’m building Cythe a fusrona.

Hellious : That isn’t an Elder Scrolls khajit. Boy , exactly what kind of weird ass game are you playing.

Me : *reluctantly* Amorous.

Ramathal : Dear God why.

Me : Look if you can find any other game where i  can build a god damn furry OC to these exact specifications for free...please TELL ME!*starts nervously cry laughing* I want my dignity back.

Sinkey : Okay then. I’m out. *mumbling to himself* Haven’t even had my morning coffee.

Cythe :*peiring at the screen* Hurry. Get the tail done already.

Me : Fine. Don’t rush me, this is wired enough already. By the way why do you want this.

Cythe : *silence*

Me : Okay then.

Hellious : Can you make me. But as a dragon or something.

Ramthal : Why the hell would you want a fursona.

Me : Why do YOU of all people want one.

Hellious : Because Dragons.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 005

Me : I was supposed to buy a phone today but that  didn’t work out so here’s the $200 from that mess. Go take your GF to see Fall Out and make sure to tell me the story about it when you get back.

Best Em : *spontaneously hugging me * Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Me : *standing still like a brick* Uh I don’t exactly know how to respond to this.

Hellious : Just hug her back.

Ramathal : That would be the normal response but considering their previous interactions this is rather unexpected.

Sinkey : Em’s opinion of him and us in general has always been less than stellar. Actually now that i think about it she always calls us an asshole so what exactly is going on.

Hellious : Well she isn’t wrong. Asshole is a rather fitting tittle for us. So what gives.

Me : I’m trying to be nice. Mostly because i can relate to wanting to see a loved one who’s been so fer away for so long.

Ramathal : That’s quite a bit more out of character than your usual instability.

Hellious : Yeah... That’s not really our thing. I thought we all agreed that being an insensitive asshole is pretty damn funny.

Me : *sighs* Okay, your right it can be funny especially when people can’t prove you wrong but its lonely. So, so lonely.

Ramathal : This hasn’t been an issue before. Why now?

Me : Because it’s getting painful. Being an arrogant smart mouthed and all be it correct pretentious ass may be fun but it’s just me coping. It was bound to stop working eventually.

Ramathal : You’re correct your anxiety has gotten worse. We’re down to about only ten square kilometers in the void. Plus Cythes’ been able to keep an actual manifestation up for a while now.

Sinkey : Okay, so you’re gonna try to be a nicer person but why start with her of all people.

Me : Because she’s been the most critical of me since we met. If I make a her like me even a little I know I’d have made some progress. If i haven’t, its not like she’s afraid to call me out.

Hellious : This is risky. You’re going to try to be empathetic. Damn foolish.

Me : How so?

Hellious : If you’re closed off you hurt others, if you open up you’ll get hurt that’s the rule. Besides it’s a bit late for some sort of redemption arch.

Me : Well at this rate if i don’t change the Cythe will consume the void and you with it and beside this loneliness is getting toxic.

Sinkey : A redemption arch sounds pretty cool to be honest.

Ramathal : Considering who we are currently its going to take some work. It’ll be an arch indeed.

Hellious : *grunting in defeat* Fine. But you might wanna hug her back.

Me : Oh shit, yeah. *awkwardly putting my arms around Em *

Cythe : *staring at herself wondering wondering why she’s shrinking* Hmm.

Em : I think we can stop now.

Me : Yeah...Sure...Uh sorry about that.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 004

Me : *taking another gulp of coffee* SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK!!!!!!

Hellious : Now this is something i can get behind!

Ramathal : *face palming* For the love of all that is good and holy don’t encourage this. All nighters have never worked out well before and this one certainly won’t.

Hellious : Relax he’s not gonna die and let’s face it this is pretty decent way to let out some rage.

Ramathal : Bloody edge lord.

Sinkey : Okay, so use the chainsaw on the pinky and that should give us some ammo for the rocket launcher. save that for the pain elemental.

Ramathal : They’ve been like this ever since we got the damn game.

Hellious : I honestly would think you’d be a bit more concerned that she’s watching.

Ramathal : Yes the manifestation of an emotionally unstable boy’s insecurity and self-loathing and human disassociation would definitely not enjoy a game about brutally dispatching hordes of enemies.

Hellious : Point taken. Still doesn’t explain why Sinkey likes it but it is kinda cute to see them like this.

Ramathal : They were here before us it makes sense that they’re comfortable with one another.

Hellious : But he’s apparently never heard it talk before. What an odd couple.

Cythe : *turning her head 180 degrees* Cythe!

Hellious : What?

Cythe : My name. Is. Cythe.

Hellious : Okay. Please stop staring at me like that, its creepy as all hell.

Me : *slamming my fists on my keyboard* Damn pain elementals. DAMN THEM ALL TO HELL!

Hellious : That would be redundant.

Sinkey : I told you to use the rocket launcher. Did you listen. Noooo.

Ramathal : Now would be an excellent time to quit and go to bed or at least drink something other than coffee.

Me : *sits down with with absolute rage dripping from my teeth (i did seriously clench so hard my gums bled)* Sleep.....IS FOR THE WEAK!!!!!

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 003

Me : *grunting at computer*

Hellious : Grunt louder maybe that will magically give it extra ram.

Ramathal : Be a little patient you have plenty of time.

Sinkey : Let the record show that every time one of us says that his years of training in procrastination kick in.

Ramathal : Well he won’t be able to do anything if he breaks the computer. By the way it should be fully booted in 3, 2, 1, and...

Me : *leens in, logs in and starts up MS word*

Ramathal : Three seconds what are you in a rush for.

Me : I am finishing this as quickly as possible. Every time one of us says “there’s plenty of time” one of us always ends up saying no yelling “hurry up there’s almost no time left”.

Sinkey : *flipping throught the memory book* He’s not wrong that’s happened for almost all major assignments.

Me : Not this time the first should take about an hour and is due in two days so i’ll start with that.

*three hours later*

Me : How long has it been since i did the cover page?

Ramathal : 2hours 59minutes and 48seconds

Me : OK! YOU KNOW WHAT!?!? Time for a break.

Ramathal : I don’t think that’s a good idea.

Hellious : Let him go on another anime binge. Last time we got to watch samurai shamploo and No Game No Life in one night.

Ramathal : Yeah but...

Hellious : Ooooh. Its manga this time. Its docter stone trust me you’ll like this one.

Ramathal : Fine.

*five hours later*

Me : Okay that was a good bit of reading but that assignment is calling my name.

Ramathal : Hold own just a minute. One. More. Chapter.

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 002

Sinkey : *wispering* heeeeeeyyyyyyyyyy

Me :   *grunts*

Hellious : Let me try. *deep inhale* WAKE THE FUCK UP BIATCH !!!!!!!

Me : *wakes in a panic and emediatly looks for my phone*  JESUS CHRIST

Ramathal : We did try to tell you to put the brightness done before you went to sleep.

Me : Guys its 3:00am this had better be something good.

Sinkey : *sheepishly* Well.... I thought this should’ve waited till morning but these two finally managed to cooperate on something so...Yeah, take it from here.

Hellious : So I came up with something that looks pretty great and edgy as hell. *handing me a rolled up sheet of paper* Now here’s the crappy version he revised.

Ramathal : *staring at Hellious in annoyance* My “crappy revised version” is significantly more symmetrical and aesthetically appealing than that pointed prodigious shit stain you blurted out onto a canvas.

Me : *unrolling the paper* Okay this is pretty good but why am i up at 3:00am again listening to you.

Hellious :*still arguing with Ramathal* Draw It.

Me : Exactly why and how would i do this for you.

Hellious : Cause we don’t really exist.

Ramathal : Let me explain. Within the confines of your mind we are capable of as much as you in your reality but we cannot create anything lasting as this world’s parameters are linked directly to your emotion and memory  neither of which is particularly stable.

Sinkey  : Bit of a sharp tongue there.

Me : He’s not wrong Ramathal continue and get to the point.

Ramathal : Right. So it stands to reason that the image we created is as fluid as any other thought or memory or emotion you have. Your drawing it would create a more permanent state of existence for our creation.

Hellious : TLDR in here its appearance may change as you recall it. that won’t happen to a drawing.

Me : *nodding* Hmm..Hmm.. Yeah im going back to sleep.

Ramathal & Hellious : *in unison* WAIT!!!

Me : Bye bye.

Sinkey : Hey com’ on don’t be an ass. this is some of the only artistic expression they have and besides the number of other projects they made that “you” erased is... Well it is sad.

Me : Okay fine. But this better not be hard.

Ramathal : *holding in a smile* Not at all. You’ll need a pencil, a pen and a campus and ruler for some bits.

Me : *me looking at the now blurring image* Yeah how about i just let you guys run things for a while.

Sinkey : Why do they get to run you!

Me : Because its a drawing and not a porn hub search that put me on an FBI watch list.

Sinkey : Oooh yeah, forgot about that.

Me : Anyway, you guys have fun I’m to tired to stay conscious through this plus i might fuck something up.

Ramathal : Thank you Sir.

Hellious : Thanks man.

Me : Just put me back in the bed when I’m done and *scowling at sinkey*Do.Not. Give Sinkey control. *drops through the void and back into sleep*

At 10:00am

Me : Not bad. I’ll give it to Jaid.

Ramathal : Why? We worked hard on this it took hours.

Hellious : You’re giving it to her of all people. Why?

Me : Cause those who disturb my slumber must burn under the wrath of a thousand sun for eternities beyond the span of time itself.

Cythe : (:<

[mymarcnuniverse]

M.P. 001

Hellious : So how long has it been since he bothered to do a push up.

Ramathal : He's been doing at least 100 hundred of those slanted ones every night for a week.

Hellious : Yeah but those fucking things are easy as hell.

Ramathal : *shuts up as i slam open to the door to the void*

Me : Sorry for trying to exercise once in a while! Would you prefer if i just started throughing around my emotional bagage again.

Sinkey : To be honest that sounds like it would be a better work out.

Me : *sighs* Why are you still here we all deemed you obsolete years ago.

Sinkey : Firstly, i keep all your memories recorded in accurate detail. Secondly you all decided that last year, two months after you built them.

*in a weepy voice* Also please calm down and stop remembering high school you're feeding the void.

"the void" : *sweeping around all of us and into the form of a five foot tall cat* The name is Cythe.

Ramathal : I suggest we end this now before she gets any larger or there won't be any room left in your head for the rest of us.

Hellious : Seriously you left that school two years ago let that shit go.

Me : Great now this is going to take forever to clean up.

Ramathal : Just go play Guilty Gear for a while. by my

estimate beating Baiken as Sol repeatedly should reduce the void's condensation within an hour.

Me & Cythe : *simultainiously* Fine.*as i pop back into reality*

Sinkey : *looking at a now shrinking cythe*So are we just going to forget that it just spoke?

Hellious : Well it apparently has a name.

Ramathal : It condensed enough to speak agian. Those memories are dangerous.