Lovably Wander

Hi I'm still the old recklessly chika. And I'm a half geek half weirdo. Nice to meet you

[mynameischika]

A comeback.

Hi!!

I don’t know when was the last time I posted on here, must be yearss ago 🥲

So here we go. I think I’m gonna start posting more in here, since I need something as an escape.

[mynameischika]

coachella looks for week #2 by rizkamaulina featuring choker jewelry

[mynameischika]

You're so out of my league. I'm too scared to even reach you...

The girl who had her heart stolen

[mynameischika]

I HATE YOU

There are so many reasons I have the right to hate you. 1. I hate you because why the fck you have to be my crush, and why I have a crush on you 2. I hate you for making me fallin love with you, deeper and deeper everyday 3. I hate you for treating me so nice I wanna punch your face so bad, and it’s making me crazy 4. I hate you for always making fun of me and always making me laugh everytime I was beside you 5. I hate you because your name always pop up on my notification 6. I hate you for always missing like a criminal and show up suddenly like a witch. 7. I hate you because everytime I try so hard to forget you, you’ll always end up showing in my particular life. 8. I hate you for always call me cute, pretty or any other compliments (whether you mean it or not) 9. I hate you because everytime I see ur profile picture on my ig explore or path, you always make my heart beat faster. 10. I hate you because no matter how hard I try not to remember you or to like you, and pretend like it’s nothing, I will always see ur face in my mind. And just like that, you make me imagining things that probably won’t ever happen between us. And even the universe tell me that we weren’t meant to be, I always have my expectation for you. Yeah thats the real reason I hate you.

[mynameischika]

Sunday strollin by rizkamaulina featuring topshop shoes

[mynameischika]

How pathetic I am....

Yepp Im gonna continue my story. So it's been 3 weeks since I finally meet him. Nothing's changed. We're just being as usual. But I kinda like it when we're getting closer since we have the same class everyday hahaha So my story begin when on the 2nd day of class, we just keep talking about love wkwk He likes to set me up with his friend hufft And here I am being so pathetic. I keep telling him to go on date with other girl. And lately, I introduce him to one of my close friend from my hometown. And... He likes her. He likes to talk to me just to show me how pretty she is. The good thing is, we kinda get closer because we're like... Chatting almost everydayy. 💕 But that feeling couldnt last longer because I guess I know that he never had feeling for me (I guess). I never want something more than him being happy with the one he likes... But it hurts soooo much just to know that 'that one' is not me :( And you know what the hardest part of them all? Tryin to let it all go. All this feeling while you see him almost everyday, not just see him, but you have to pretend that we're cool and like nothing's happen. Sucks rite? Fyi, I never really like someone this much. But I guess it'll gonna be my 100th unrequited love/ one sided love. If only I could tell him how much I like him and adore him... But im just too afraid, im cowardly scared that he might change once I tell him how I feel. Its hard being a woman, because we can't really confess our feeling to someone easily. We're too scared of being hurt.

[picsandquotes]

Imagining the future is a kind of nostalgia. (…) You spend your whole life stuck in the labyrinth, thinking about how you’ll escape it one day, and how awesome it will be, and imagining that future keeps you going, but you never do it. You just use the future to escape the present.

John Green, Looking for Alaska (via picsandquotes)

[picsandquotes]

Becoming fearless isn’t the point. That’s impossible. It’s learning how to control your fear, and how to be free from it.

Veronica Roth, Divergent (via picsandquotes)

[mynameischika]

Crumbling

Well gladly he almost chat me everyday. But not to talk about us... To talk about her :)

[mynameischika]

Hi. Can I tell you a story about my love life? It’s totally crap. Its only about me who fell in love with the wrong person, fellin love at the wrong time, or maybe one sided love. And one more…. Its all about my secret admiration to someone. Pretty crap right? So I have this one friend that I’ve been crushed on lately. I don’t know if its just a crush or am I really fallin for him. But one for sure, I really do admire him (a lot) haha. The way he talk, the way he treat other people, the way he makes you laugh, everything he does is admirable for me haha. I’ve been having a crush on him for 3 months now. And he didn’t even make a move or realize about my feeling. We’re just being friend. Well maybe its me that really scared and have no guts to tell him about this :( Do you know that feeling, when someone you like talk to you, make you laugh, or take you home? Even the slightest tiny things that he did for you, can make you happy and smile the brightest? Well thats exactly what I feel for the past 3 months. Because you feel so comfortable and you can be who you are when you close to him. Sometimes Im just happy to know that he’s doing fine in his life, even without me :’) Lately we’ve been chatting and discuss about some unimportant things (but thats what I like about him). I like him because he’s just the way he are, no fake smile, and politely kind. I wanna tell you this, one day he borrowed my dormmate’s calculator, and he asked about my dormmate. And just a while ago, he asked me about her (again). He even asked me to give him the contact of her. Well thats the hardest part for me. Because it hurts a lot when someone you like, like someone else. And it even hurt more, when that someone else is one of your friend. Hurts. I may being such a jokester and fine about it, but deep down in my heart….. Im fallin. Im fallin to a big hole filled with sadness and desperation. But what can I do? All I can do is give him what he wants and let him to get to know my friend. Maybe I can be a kind matchmaker. If only he know what I feel, if only Im not this coward to tell him, if only Im more pretty than her, if only I didn’t tell him about her, if only…. 
Now, all I can do is hope everything’s fine, hope the best for him. Even if it means you have to let go. Let go all the things that I’ve been holding on until this time… Include him. Well maybe he doesn’t meant for me, or maybe we weren’t meant for each other. Its all in God’s plan, all we can do is pray and do our best. I really wish happiness for him. Even if its without me. I’m happy to see you happy, even if i have to see you from far away. 
Maybe my love life is pretty like Ted Mosby. But who knows? Maybe in the end, I could ended up with someone who really match for me in everything. Thankyou for reading this crap post. Hope you didn’t regret for reading it haha

[mynameischika]

just another casual saturday by rizkamaulina featuring a white long sleeve shirt

[mynameischika]

Winter Cushion by rizkamaulina featuring a red hat

[mynameischika]

just typical normal thing that I wanna share

Annyeong! Hello! Hola!

it's been a really really loooong time rite? I don't even remember when was the last time I posted on tumblr. But now I'm back even just for a short time. I guess I had missed so many moments to post on you, cause I really didn't have a spare time to write on my tumblr. So here's few things that I (literally) wanna share.

It's finally my 5th semester on college's life. Well I hope next year I can graduate from here and continue my study. i really can't believe that it's been 2,5 years for me stay in this city. And now I finally feel so comfortable with this city and I don't think I wanna move out from here. Umm 5th semester? pretty hectic with so many assignments and the internship program. But in this semester I feel like I getting to know more people from my college, I even have good friendship with some new people. That's good cause I like getting more friends.

So this month, I had many events from my campus. The first and the second are not that great, i don't really satisfied with that events. But at least i get to know more people from there. And there was the third one, that was my event from my organization. And I feel so proud to be a part of that event cause I learned so many things from there. I learned about how to manage people, how to communicate and negotiate with people, how to be a LO, and many more. I even got many relation from there.

And the unique and weird thing is that i even have a crush from that event hahahahaha. I know this is basically weird..... but yeah, I think I have a crush on someone. I don't know if I really have feeling for him cause I feel this is so weird. I shouldn't have feeling for him, but i can't keep my feeling in control. He doesn't suit my type, and he's a bad boy I guess. But as we get closer on that event, I feel like there's something between us. At first I didn't feel anything, but then.... my feeling has changed. Everytime i saw him, I wanna get closer to him, i wanna talk to him, or even mock him haha. Even when the event is over, I still wanna see him every day. This is ridiculous right? but when i think about us in the future, i think we're gonna work out. We're just... to different. I guess I just have to keep this feeling to my self and let it go as time goes by. I don't know about his feeling, but I'm sure that it's not gonna work out between us. That's it.

sorry for telling you about this unimportant feeling of mine.

[mynameischika]

what you really need in your make up bag by rizkamaulina featuring nars cosmetics

[maddyperezes]

[mynameischika]

The evolution of Nate Archibald

[mynameischika]

when you're ready to mingle by rizkamaulina featuring Finders Keepers

[mynameischika]

let the pink out of your body by rizkamaulina featuring lips makeup