Attendre et Espérer

And now I'm shining bright — so bright. Welcome to my own little pink world. It's probably happier than the outside world. I'm Tara, somewhere in my 20s. I'm always here if you need anything. ♡

[myownlittlepinkworld]

You told me to hope for my dreams, and I think I made it.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

Now I'm dancin' in my dress in the sun, and even my daddy just loves him

The biggest sign that I’m happy and doing well is being able to weather a new Taylor Swift release and identifying the most with all the happy songs.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 365

List 5 activities that help you feel peaceful.

Painting with watercolors

Petting or just watching my cat

Listening to “Fireproof”

Watching Barbie movies

Nature walks

And with that! I have completed this 365-day challenge. I almost gave up on it a few times, but I’m glad I finished it. I will not be renewing this for next year, but maybe I’ll do more down the road.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 364

Where do you feel safest?

In the sanctuary of my apartment, being held close.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 363

What would you be willing to give up to create peace in your life?

Money. I gave up a 5-figure difference in salary, not to mention future raise, and promise of an even bigger raise afterward, in order to leave my old job for greener pastures. So far, my life is much better. The only real anxiety or upset I’ve felt in the last two weeks has been when thinking about my old job.

Money isn’t everything after a certain point. I’m blessed to have reached that point in my career where time, family, and mental health are able to be more of a priority than making money.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 362

Who cares most about you and your well-being?

Probably my sister. We don’t always see eye to eye about what it is I need and what well-being means for me, but she always cares.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 361

How do you set your boundaries?

I’m still figuring out what healthy boundaries for myself are. “Pathological people pleaser” really resonates with me. I hate to let people down, even at my own expense. So maybe that’ll be an official resolution for next year.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 360

When do you feel most connected to others?

I love community and cultural events for this. Things that bring people together make me feel connected with the world and happy. Local community events, church, holidays, even the Super Bowl, bring connectiveness. It’s a beautiful energy.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 359

How much time do you spend each day on social media, news, or other things that increase your anxiety?

Generally, no more than five minutes a day. There is always going to be important news that is going to be distressing, but it’s still important to read and know. But I do have to catch myself from getting too sucked in to things that cross the line into fear-mongering or if I’ve gotten the general gist and reading more is going to upset. Social media is easy to get sucked into, so I have to be mindful about whether or not it’s useful.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 358

Can you name something or someone that steals your peace?

A law clerk/associate at my last firm, who I really wanted to fire; plus the former associate I had to fire; and the one before that, who resigned but we still had to fire before his last day. I made myself angry the other day just remembering them.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 357

Do you feel at peace most of the time? Why or why not?

From the last few years to recently, no. It was a whirlwind of anxiety and stress since high school, to college, to law school, to my first job as an attorney, then add in COVID, then onto the stress of my last job, and also trying my best to balance family and relationships in all of that.

But now, I feel peaceful. Life is calming down. I feel excited about my new job, and I like the people I’m working with. I’m at a good place in life. I finally feel ok.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 356

How do you deal with change?

I love change. I learn my new environment, adapt, and then enjoy myself.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 355

Write a poem about your fear.

No. Pass.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 354

Do you think people are born with fears or do all fears come from our experiences?

The latter. People become afraid of the things they’ve experienced. That’s why children are fearless.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 353

How can you tell that something is out of your comfort zone and not only challenging but also within the realm of possibility for your skills and experience?

What. Pass.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 352

How does your body usually react when you’re nervous or anxious, and what can you do to calm down quickly?

Normal anxiety, racing heart, shallow breathing, etc. I’m still working on finding good ways to calm down, but thinking of nice places and people I love can help.

[myownlittlepinkworld]

2023 Journal Challenge: Day 351

What are things that make you stay in your comfort zone instead of stepping out of it and trying something new or different?

I love new things, new adventures, and reinventing the wheel. But I am an introvert and I am risk/pain-averse, so my comfort zone protects me from pain and loss, and socializing with new people. But other than that I love trying new things.