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summary: reader has had a terrible day, and azriel (her mate) is right there to pick up her pieces (and kiss her bruises).
a/n: yeah i had a bad day and i needed this so i wrote it lmao. enjoy <3
your knee throbbed as soon as it made contact with the corner of the bed frame, immediate pain registering in the form of sharp waves.
"fuck," you cursed under your breath, wincing as you hunched over to inspect the section of skin - that was absolutely going to leave a bruise.
today had been horrible. truly, undoubtedly terrible - one of those days where it felt like every single thing that could go wrong, had gone awry. like the odds were stacked against you.
and because of this, your mood was absolutely foul. as every slight inconvenience began to accumulate and pile on, you felt the crease between your eyebrows wind tighter and tighter. you were sure it was now a permanent fixture on your features.
you'd had half a mind to just crawl back into bed, bring the covers up to your chin, and fall asleep once more - a do-over, a restart. you were convinced that this day was unsalvageable.
you trudged downstairs to the dining hall in the house of wind, hoping to find reprieve in the form of a refreshing lunch. rounding the corner, you became aware of the deep timbre of several different voices, one of which belonging to azriel. your mate.
you'd reinforced your mental shields once your mood had completely gone south earlier today. you didn't want him to feel the tidal waves of unrestrained anger and frustration that you were sure would end up projected down his side of the bond. he had more important things to worry about - you didn't want to derail his mood, too.
you knew him - knew that he would have cancelled every single thing on his agenda today, no matter the importance. his main goal would have become taking care of you and your bad mood. he was a precious, precious male. but honestly, keeping him from his work for the day would have only made your mood worsen due to the guilt it would've caused.
you took a deep breath before stepping into the threshold of the dining hall. you transformed your expression into one that depicted calmness, happiness. you were so sure it was convincing. and to anyone that wasn't your mate, it probably would have been.
you took one step towards the large table that took up the center of the room, a forced smiling stretching across your lips. azriel, cassian, and rhys all met your gaze in tandem, the latter two males nodding politely.
you glanced over at azriel, not missing the way his eyes raked across your body. his stare became hardened for just a moment as he studied you.
"what's wrong?," he asked, voice tense. he clocked it immediately. no mask was opaque enough to hide your true feelings from him.
you faltered for a moment, standing in place - fidgeting with your fingers. he tracked that movement too, huffing out a breath through his nose knowingly. you cleared your throat, taking a seat at the table next to him as you always did.
he stiffened in his seat, shifting his body to face yours just slightly.
"nothing, az," you said brightly, beginning to serve your plate from the generous spread that sat in the center of the table.
az stayed silent for a moment, watching you closely. he combed over your features, waiting for one of your tells. he'd come to know you so well, knew what every minute movement, twitch, or glance meant.
and sure enough, you'd scrunched your nose - just slightly - but azriel knew immediately: something was off.
he placed a large hand on your shoulder without another word, and before you could react, the both of you had been teleported back to your rooms swathed in shadows and night.
you made a quiet noise of surprise - you were not a newly mated couple, but you'd still failed to wholly get used to azriel's teleportation. especially when you were just about to lift a bite of food to your lips. and now, here you both stood, in your dimly lit rooms - no food in sight.
"az," you chastised, knowing that your mate wouldn't drop the subject until you confessed your feelings to him - feelings you'd rather just ignore.
"no, y/n," he replied calmly, leading you over to your shared bed.
"sit," he gently commanded, pulling you down to sit on the edge of the mattress alongside him, "what's going on, my love?"
his voice was so deep, so calm, so loving. it took all of your restraint to not launch yourself into his lap. his question dripped with sincerity, care, love. it made your chest ache.
especially considering you'd planned to hide this part of yourself away from him today.
you sighed, meeting his tender gaze hesitantly. he moved to grab your legs from where they dangled over the bed, opting to drape them over his own lap instead. he gently massaged and rubbed your muscles, urging you to speak whenever you felt ready.
"i'm just having an awful day," you spoke quietly, feeling a bit silly whenever the words left your mouth.
he hummed in understanding, his scarred hands working knots from your calves.
"tell me what happened," his voice like a warm hug. you watched as his hazel eyes searched your face with concern.
you pursed your lips, thinking for a moment. letting out a deep breath, you spoke.
"i woke up late this morning, and it was raining, so i couldn't go down to the rainbow to shop like i'd planned. i spilled my morning tea all over the sheets - which is my fault, i shouldn't have been drinking tea in the bed to begin with, but i was cold, and-...," you trailed off, sighing in exasperation, "i ripped my favorite dress by accidentally stepping on it when i tried to put it on, and," you paused, moving the hem of your gown up a bit higher to show off the budding bruise forming on your kneecap, "i hit my knee on the bed frame and honestly, i think that was the final straw," you finished, glancing up at az's face.
he was smirking at you in adoration, and he dropped his head for a moment to hide the grin that was causing his dimples to make a welcome appearance. he huffed out a small laugh, and you reached over to lightly slap his bicep.
"don't laugh," you fussed, fighting to hold back your own smile.
"my sweet girl," he chuckled out, his voice full of love, "you're just precious, i can't help it," he reached out, cupping your cheek in his large hand.
you sighed again, this time in mock frustration, "you aren't taking me seriously," you remarked, placing your hands in your lap.
"no, no, no," he replied, nearly cooing, "i am, i promise. i'm sorry you've had such a frustrating day," he tsked, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear.
"we'll go to the rainbow tomorrow," he amended, "and we'll purchase a brand new dress for you while we're there," he lifted one of your hands, pressing his lips to your knuckles.
"and," he continued, diverting his attention to the angry skin on your knee, "i'll take care of this," his voice lowered, reaching down to press slow, gentle kisses across the area.
he nudged his nose against your thigh as his lips continued to travel. he pressed several more kisses to your tender knee, taking his time.
then, his mouth began to move upward, his fingers digging into the plush skin of your thigh. he placed open mouth kisses as his lavishing continued north, his tongue darting out to taste you as he went.
his hands pushed the hem of your gown up higher, both of your upper legs completely bare to him.
your breath hitched, and you leaned back on your elbows against the mattress. "az," you whispered out, voice heady.
"shh, darling," he hushed, moving himself to bracket his body across your lower half.
his mouth continued its journey up, up, up.
until the sensation of his tongue, his lips, his mouth landed right where you needed it the most.
and suddenly, you couldn't remember why you'd been so upset in the first place.
a/n: my reasoning for writing this was completely indulgent because i, myself, have had an awful fucking day. this was out of complete selfishness, because i need this right now lmfao. i hope you enjoyed & maybe this can bring you comfort, too <3 let me know what you think!
told a friend i really like fated mates and she went "cos of the safety that comes from the impossibility of being rejected or because only then would you think it makes sense that someone might love you?" and it is keeping me up tonight
imagine the reader has been tortured by Beron and everytime he was about to inflict pain on her he would put on a strong bell sound.
the reader having ptsd from it and being with the inner circle when suddenly a bell sound starts playing causing the reader to start shaking and azriel calms her down and soothes her.
Hi, love! Here you go. A mishmash of angst, fluff and smut. Hope you enjoy!
Number eight: “I want my mate to tell me where the hell he was. Then he can get his comfort.”
Warnings: Depictions of toxic family relationships. Smut. 🌶️
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“Are you alright?”
A warm hand landed on your arm, the pleasant scent of Mor’s perfume hitting you. The hint of vanilla was a source of comfort, a feeling of home.
Over your shoulder, you offered her a smile that didn’t meet your eyes. Nodded. She saw right through it.
Nobody understood better than she did — what it was like to return to the poison of the Court of Nightmares, where your estranged family lived. It had taken you years to get out of their vitriolic clutches, and the unexpected mating bond between you and the High Lord’s spymaster had been a saving grace; a reason to leave, a place to go. Life had been so colourful and vibrant since he’d taken you to live in Velaris with him; you’d never looked back.
Until tonight.
It had been entirely your choice. You knew nobody would have judged you if you’d chosen to stay behind. But a couple of months earlier, you’d grown sick of feeling useless and idle. You’d asked — begged — Rhysand to give you some sort of official role in his court; something for you to do. He’d been more than happy for you to play courtier, to perhaps even strengthen relations between the Night Court and the Court of Nightmares that had become strained over the years. Yes, you’d insisted, you could do it, and take away that sort of pressure from Mor, too. You’d sooner face your family than she have to face hers.
And perhaps you’d been a tad naive about how easily that might come to you. You’d had confidence in yourself, right up until you’d come face-to-face with your father, your brothers. They’d sneered at you at Azriel’s side and sneered at the Night Court attire you were decked head-to-toe in and sneered at your confidence. And sneered and sneered and sneered.
And suddenly you’d found yourself to be that cowering, tongue-tied victim again. You felt like an utter farce, parading around in such clothes and pretending to be confident. You weren’t sure you’d ever really gotten away from them, or ever really would.
And when your brother had feigned leaning in to kiss your cheek, and had uttered words that had sliced you all over, you’d known — you had failed.
“Whore.” He’d growled, his lip curling at the form-fitting, revealing dress you’d once felt comfortable in. “Mother would be ashamed of you, whore.”
You didn’t know if anybody else around you had heard. But the way your mate had tensed was indication enough that he was on high alert and ready to strike out if necessary. He remained that way for the entire evening.
You turned to face Mor, now, all of you having returned to the Town House. You didn’t bother to force a convincing tone as you answered, “I’m alright.”
“Let’s open some wine.” Her arm linked through yours, and she tried to pull you towards the doors to the kitchen. You planted your feet.
“Where is Az?”
The beautiful blonde pursed her lips, glancing over at Rhys and Cassian, who had also heard your question. You stared between the three of them, awaiting an answer. Your mate was nowhere to be found; had disappeared after setting you down on the doorstep.
“Where’s Azriel?” You repeated.
“He’s probably gone flying — to let off some steam.” Cassian said, not sounding at all convinced by his own words.
You heaved a sigh. What you needed, right now, was your mate with you. To hold you through the echoes of what had been an awful night. His absence was just another horrible layer.
“Come.” Mor tried to pull on your arm again.
“I’m really tired.” You slunk back. “I think I’m just going to head to bed.”
Her gaze swept over you for a moment, before she nodded, leaning in to kiss your cheek. “Sleep well, then.”
It was as you passed Rhys and Cassian that you stopped, utter exhaustion weighing you down.
“When he gets back,” you said, “tell him to just come to bed. Please.”
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Hours passed. You didn’t sleep. Couldn’t. And still Azriel did not return.
You’d settled yourself at the glass doors that opened out onto the balcony, noting that you were as cold there as you had been in your empty bed, without a hard, warm body and wings to warm you. You tugged on that golden, glimmering cord of your bond, waiting for some response. But…nothing. Anxiety bloomed in you like nothing you’d ever felt.
It shaped a little into anger when you finally glimpsed a passing black form and, moments later, heard the front door opening and shutting downstairs. Relief was a weak flame snuffed out by irritation. Perhaps a little bit of hurt.
You caught the deep tenor of the three male voices below, deliberately lowered to make their words indiscernible. Perhaps it was that which snapped your tether and had you pushing to your feet. If he wasn’t going to come up and speak to you right away, give you some sort of explanation as to why he’d taken off and blocked you out, you would go to him and demand the answer.
You shucked a robe on, practically ripping your bedroom door off its hinges. There was a pause in the murmurs below, and you knew Rhys, Cassian and Azriel had all heard you leave your room and were awaiting your appearance. You hoped your footsteps padding loudly down the stairs were warning enough that you weren’t happy.
As you appeared in the doorway to the sitting room, all three males looked up. Azriel’s eyes swept over you — your nightgown and robe — and he looked just about ready to jump up and shield you from sight. You held a hand up, cutting that thought off before it could properly form.
“Don’t even start with the territorial male bullshit.” You said coldly. “No one’s staring at my tits.”
Both Cassian and Rhys cleared their throats, very deliberately making sure that their gazes were anywhere but on you. Azriel’s jaw ticked as you turned to him.
“Where have you been?” You demanded.
He said nothing, his eyes boring into yours. You raised an eyebrow in expectation, but it was Cassian who spoke up.
“…it’s been a long, tense night for everyone.” He reasoned. “Visiting the Court of Nightmares is never a pleasant experience. What you both need right now is each other’s comfort. Surely you just want to forget about tonight and—”
“I want my mate to tell me where the hell he was.” You snapped, not tearing your eyes from Azriel. “Then he can get his comfort.”
Cassian slunk back in seat, raising his eyebrows as he lifted his glass to his lips, drained it, and then reached for the bottle. You folded your arms over your chest, waiting.
Finally, Azriel shrugged. “I went back to the Hewn City to have a catch-up with my wonderful brother-in-law.”
You clenched your jaw. “Why.”
“Because he’s a cunt.”
You almost flinched at the utter venom in his tone. He was always soft-spoken, always guarded, precise and measured in the words he used. It wasn’t like him to just…let his anger speak for him.
“I didn’t ask you to do that.” You stared at him. “Why would you—”
“Nobody talks to — or about — my mate like that.” He seethed. “Nobody.”
So he’d heard exactly what your brother had said. And he’d bided his time — before striking.
And of course, a part of you, somewhere beneath the anger, adored him even more for it. But it would just make things worse in the long run. It would make it harder for you to return to the Hewn City and represent the Night Court without your family seeing it as their personal mission to terrorise you whenever they could. You’d left to get away from that. To grow.
“So…what?” You shrugged. “You killed him?”
Azriel stared at you, his eyes molten. “I could have done, you know. The Mother knows, I wanted to. But that kill is yours, should you ever want it. I just took the time to remind him that his death could come a lot sooner if he chooses to disrespect you like that.”
“You had no right, Azriel—”
“He called you a—”
“I know precisely what he called me. What he said.” You spat. “I grew up around it. I’m used to it. But you’ve gone and made it worse.”
Az’s jaw clenched. “How.”
“Do you know what they think?” A lump formed in your throat that you swallowed down hard. “They think me weak and foolish. They think you seduced me away from them. They think that I was brought to the Night Court merely to service you, and Cassian and Rhys.”
You took a shuddering breath, your eyes pricking with tears. “And those thoughts? I couldn’t care less about them. They’re pathetic, and they mean nothing to me. But I do care that they think I’m weak. I care that they think me too much of a pathetic, cowering female to speak up for myself, because I’m not.”
Azriel’s eyes softened. “I know you’re not.”
“But by dealing with my brother on my behalf, you’ve only confirmed that for them. It’ll only make it ten times worse the next time I visit.”
You could see understanding dawning in his eyes. And a rational part of you knew that he’d acted on the carnal impulse of a male protecting his mate — that he hadn’t stopped to think about any of this. That he loved you.
But you…you couldn’t give over to that rationality right now. Not when you were still so angry, still so shaken by what had happened. You didn’t blame Azriel for wanting to protect you; to act without speaking to you first, however, made you feel as weak as your family thought you to be.
You wiped your tears away, shaking your head. “I’m going to bed.”
“I’ll come with you—”
“No.” You turned. “Stay and enjoy your drink.”
The words hit their mark, and you saw the scathing hurt in his eyes as he slumped back. You’d probably regret it later.
But in that moment, you were too tired to care.
✧: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚✧・゚: *✧・゚
Despite your exhaustion, sleep didn’t find you properly. You drifted in and out fitfully, every little noise seeming to jolt you awake. Every single time, you found yourself glancing over to the empty space beside you.
You weren’t sure how long you lay there for, but your anger steadily morphed into loneliness, and trying to sleep without Az curled around you left you feeling as empty and cold as arguing with him had. You hated fighting with him.
And you knew he’d meant well. That he’d just been defending you because he loved you. Already, you were wishing you hadn’t been so hard on him.
You jerked awake again as you heard the door slowly creak open. You watched through heavy eyes as Azriel filed in, making a conscious effort to be as quiet as possible — before noticing you were awake.
He studied you for just a moment, and then dragged his feet to the end of the bed. He slumped down onto his front, his long body stretching from the foot of the bed, right up to where you lay. You watched, allowing him to slot himself between your legs. He rested his head on your belly.
“I’m sorry.” He murmured, pressing a kiss against it. He gazed up at you through thick, dark lashes. “Really sorry.”
You breathed a soft sigh, your hand reaching out to brush strands of hair from his face. “I’m sorry, too.”
“What could you possibly have to be sorry for?”
You shrugged. Your fingers toyed absentmindedly with his hair as you said, “I shouldn’t have been so hard on you. I know you were only defending me.”
“I was blinded by my own rage at your brother, though. I should have thought more about how you felt. You must never, ever think yourself weak. You’re the furthest thing from it.”
A soft smile played on your lips. Az’s chin dug into your lower belly as he peered up at you, his fingers brushing indolent circles on your outer thighs. Your own eyes were hooded as you stared back at him — your mate. You loved him so ferociously.
He hadn’t even thought twice about defending you, even against a baseless insult.
“I really am sorry.” He pressed another kiss to the soft skin of your belly, the muscles there contracting at the sensation. “It’s such an honour for me to defend you that I sometimes forget you don’t need me to.”
“Don’t get me wrong, Az.” You watched him — watched his nose graze the silk of your nightgown. “I love it when you stand up for me. And had that been anyone else, I would have left you to it. But with them, it’s just…complicated. I suppose I still feel like I have something to prove.”
“You don’t. But it’s going to take time for you to realise that.” His tongue poked out, licking the fabric of the indentation where your belly button was. “You know, don’t you? That what your brother said was ridiculous. The only people your mother would feel disappointed in are them.”
Your breath hitched at the sensation of his tongue moving through the fabric. You tried to stay your thoughts, to remain on subject. “I…I know.”
“You’re incredible.” He shifted down, pulling your nightgown up as he did. “Beautiful.” He pressed a kiss to your now-exposed navel. “Strong.”
The cold air of the room brushed over your bare sex, and you jerked as Az nuzzled his face against your fine dusting of hair just above. He grazed his lips there, breathing in your scent.
“Why don’t you come to bed?” You breathed, brushing his hair back. “It’s late. You must be tired.”
“Mm.” He hummed. “After I’ve apologised.”
You had no objections as he finally dipped his head, levelling his face with the very centre of you. His eyes flicked up momentarily to meet yours, and then he dove in.
Your head fell back, a low moan escaping you as his tongue swiped out and licked a stripe right up you, from your entrance, up, up to your clit. He kissed the area first, his lips a sensuous scrape against the sensitive nub of nerves. Your hips lifted off the bed, and he slid his hand up, pressing them back down.
“I love you.” He breathed the words onto the damp heat of you — a place he had worshipped time and time before, and would continue to do so as the world and its stories changed around you.
“I love you too.” You breathed, and another moan broke from your throat as his tongue swirled around your clit. “Gods, Az.”
You felt him smile against you, and you utterly melted into the bed as he began his expert worship of your body, always knowing which areas drew which sensations from you, which touches had you moaning the loudest.
His tongue built up its pace, working at your clit as he slipped a hand down, gathering up your wetness on his fingers. He slipped one into you, pumping a few times, curling it inside you, and you gasped.
“Another?” He murmured against you, teeth grazing just slightly.
A small whimper left you. “Yes. Yes.”
And so he slipped a second finger in, and you were happy to give over to every sensation in your body as he began to pump in and out, his fingers moving in tandem with his tongue. Tension coiled low in your stomach, a dull, pleasant ache that was building and building until your legs were trembling.
“Az.” You groaned, hips lifting again. “Fuck, I’m gonna…”
“Take it.” He lapped at you, lapped and lapped as if he might never get another taste. “Take everything you need. Cum for me.”
Only a few more thrusts of his fingers, a few more strokes of his tongue, and you were tumbling off that precipice into place of weightless elation, stars bursting in your eyes, your ears ringing, your body shaking. Az continued to lick and stroke you through it all, murmuring encouraging, soothing words.
And when the force of your climax subsided, and you were utterly spent, he pulled his fingers out of you. Sucked your wetness from them. And then climbed up the bed to lay beside you.
He was very clearly hard as a rock, the outline of his straining cock visible. You made to reach for him, but he gently took your hand.
“No.” He said softly. “This was about you. We have tomorrow. And the day after that.” He leaned down, kissing your head. “And all the ones after that. But now it’s time for sleep.”
You didn’t protest as he lay properly beside you, tugging you against him and pulling the blankets around you. His fingers laced through yours, both your hands resting on your stomach.
“I’m so proud of you.” He whispered into the darkness, kissing the nape of your neck. “So fucking proud.”
You smiled, relaxing into him. Closed your eyes.
You were just drifting off as you heard him murmur, beneath his breath:
I didn't enjoyed the album tbh.. the lyrics are disappointing
i see you like painhfjfk yeah, lyrics wise i think this might be his weakest album. but he does have really good ones there too. but i agree, was expecting more
sonically, i'm mostly vibing. the skips/bland songs to me are boyfriends, daylight and keep driving, not sure yet about matilda, satellite and loml. lyrically, a complete flop. like nothing salvageable to be found, they didn't even TRY to write good songs, really interested to see if there are any songwriters on here apart from the usual suspects. idk how these songs correlate at all with the album name and aesthetic, did they just think it'd be cute promo with the youarehome stuff lmao very surprised that most of these come off as concept songs but i wishhhh he would've done smth different thematically, it's like fine line's worse sister with a bit more of an electric tune. it's not a bad album but it's also not a great album