✿ mystery of m ✿

♡ my name is m ♡ she/her ♡ appalachian artist & asexual wlw ♡ letters on life, love, spirituality, and yearning ♡

[i-like-girls-but-im-ace-deactiv]

Me watching women play at the olympics:

[stuffedgrapeleaves]

postcards say IM HERE. IM HERE AND I LOVE YOU. IN THIS SPACE AND TIME AND WHEREVER AND WHENEVER YOU ARE. THERE IS A SPACE BETWEEN THOSE SPACES THAT CONNECTS US AND ITS FULL OF LOVE. I’LL MEET YOU THERE.

[mysteryofm]

dear friend,

you are not defined by what you do to earn money. you are not defined by how much education you have. you are not defined by your past, your fears, or your current struggles. before anything else, you are human. you decide how you want to define yourself. your job/career is not meant to fulfill all of your needs. it’s okay if you don’t have a “dream job” because your dream revolves around something other than labor. that’s good, that’s healthy.

it’s okay if you don’t know what your passions are yet. once you find your passions, know that you don’t always have to be the very best at them. your skill level is irrelevant, what matters is that you’re doing something for fun. that is a beautiful thing. you don’t even have to turn your passion into a career or a way of making money. and you don’t have to post your art or writing on the internet if you don’t want to, it can be something just for you. <3

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

Ace and aro people who show pride in their identities and are visible are amazing. You've probably helped a lot of people without ever realising it.

[mysteryofm]

dear friend,

the restaurant i work at is right across from the bus station in the middle of my city. whenever business is slow and i don’t have any tasks i like to people watch. every day i see so many people going somewhere. alone, in pairs, in groups, with children, etc. they always have a backpack or some other kind of bag. to me it’s all a big metaphor for life and a reminder of how little you really need. a backpack, filled only with what is necessary to us.

it reminds me how all of us are always going somewhere and sometimes our paths cross with others, sometimes people accompany us on our journey for a short while or for a long time. i like to make up stories about them based on the mannerisms i see for a few short seconds or what they’re wearing/carrying. i wonder who they are and what’s important to them, what they dream about and what their struggles & fears are. sometimes i wonder what they think about me.

[mysteryofm]

little things in life that i’m grateful for

my friends, my dog, my chosen family, sunshine, blue sky, the way that tea warms you up from the inside, the smell of coffee, the snap good chocolate makes when broken, crispy bread, drinking wine with my best friend, watching plants grow from seed, creating my own playlists, snuggling with my stuffed animals in bed, the warm glow of my salt lamp, used books with annotations inside, the sound of rain falling, cooking my own food, a text from someone i haven’t heard from in a while, full sketchbooks, sleeping under a weighted blanket, making music just for fun, finding shapes in the clouds.

[mysteryofm]

gratitude & happiness

dear friend,

to be happy like a child is to be happy for no reason. if your happiness depends on your circumstances or your possessions then all of those can be taken from you. if they are taken then your joy is taken also. i believe that happiness is found within and is grown from gratitude. every day is a gift and i try to appreciate every moment and season of life that i am in because i know everything is temporary. 

that provides hope for negative feelings and events but i find it a little alarming for the good things i enjoy right now. i don’t want them to end. but this keeps me from taking anything for granted. i am grateful for the simple pleasures and little things in life because they are constant. they can bring you comfort in times of struggle. i’m curious and i will share as well, what little things are you grateful for?

[qvotable]

I have so much of you in my heart.

John Keats (via qvotable)

[lefildelhorizon]

CRISS CANNING, Green Chrysanthemum, 2016

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

when the sun comes up in the morning, consider your heart new and repaired. consider the rest of the day a blank page. meet the world with the thought of something good in mind.

[jiyaneru]

happy pride from me n my gf <3

[zandraart]

happy international ace day :)

[mysteryofm]

breaking cycles of abuse & generational healing

dear friend,

today i have been thinking a lot about how i’m the cycle breaker in my family. how i’m working hard to heal generational patterns, cycles of abuse and trauma. these painful things end with me because i will be better and also because the bloodline ends with me. *mic drop*

i will not be physically having children. i will be adopting. this is something i have known about myself ever since i was old enough to grasp the concept of adoption. caring for children who’s parents didn’t care for them or were not able to instead of bringing new ones into the world. i have always intrinsically known that the marriage and pregnancy pipeline was Not For Me. even before i knew i was asexual or accepted the fact that i am a lesbian. the amount of shit i have received for stating that i want to adopt instead of have biological children is astronomical but that is for another post.

my best friend has mentioned us adopting a kid and co-parenting, she talked about how we’d have a “little granola kid” and how we’d frequently go camping or hiking on the weekends. she mentioned that a romantic relationship is not necessary to raise a child in love and to me, that sounds like a dream come true. :) 

however, to get to the place where i am emotionally, financially and mentally stable to care for a child will take a lot of work. it will be a difficult, lonely and painful process. my children will never have to go through the things i did. they will never have to walk on eggshells or live in fear. they will be listened to and taken seriously. they will know unconditional love and consistent support. they will be taught when to be independent and when to look to others for help.

they will not be sheltered but will be gradually and safely exposed (as possible) to the world. they will be granted freedom within reason and encouraged to explore without fear. they will not grow up under the weight of responsibility and unfair expectations. they will have the tools and knowledge to become good people and the courage to fight for what is right. they will be able to choose their own path and know that i am standing right behind them, cheering them on.

so until i am able to care for my little granola child and give them the love they deserve i will be working hard to get to that point, starting with loving and reparenting my own inner child. i know that i will get there and i’m in no rush. <3

[mysticsapphicsblog]

i want to escape. go somewhere where i can run through meadows or stand on the beach as i watch the sunset. somewhere that i don't have to think about anything else, where bad memories don't matter. a place where i feel comforted by the energy of the earth, and not lost, or empty, or heartbroken.

[thejsorcerer]

possibly with a close female companion and we both love each other dearly and beautifully and can heal surrounded by nature 💕💫

[mysteryofm]

dear friend,

here is a quick vibe check to see how you’re doing, ask yourself these questions:

are you actively making room to create? (this can include any form of art making in every medium, writing and crafting poetry or prose with words, manifesting and making space in your everyday life for growth and healing.

creating right now may be difficult for some, honor yourself for trying. be kind to yourself, these things can take time to unravel and reveal themselves.

if something feels like a burden to you right now, what needs to be assessed/unpacked in order for you to hold space and figure out what’s wrong? how can you hold yourself through this process?

have you seen, smelled, heard, touched, or tasted love today? if so, how did that make you feel? (this doesn’t have to include romantic love. it can include self love, love for friends or chosen family, love for nature, love for food, art, music, etc)  if not, how can you find or create that emotion for yourself today and where is there room for love in your life?

[starei]

go out of your way to make yourself happy

[starei]

just wanna be able to sleep next to you when we both feel tired