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knight: I would fight for you

me: okay but can you pick up food first

the village elders hate to see a free thinker coming

entering the enchanted forest despite several highly specific warnings addressed directly to me

I don’t care how cursed the amulet is look how cute it is

the feminine urge to marry a knight and then slowly become the reason he needs armor

I wasn’t banished from the kingdom I’m just not allowed back there

I’m done healing it’s time to be evil now

I don’t chase, I just show up in ur dreams

sorry for the late reply I was consulting forces beyond this realm

the prophecy was unclear but I’m pretty sure it said I should buy something expensive

I wasn’t flirting I was establishing psychological dominance

I’m actually extremely easygoing provided nothing happens that displeases me

my hobbies include divination, overdressing and quietly deciding who would survive in my court

sorry I can’t come I’ve already changed into my ceremonial lounging clothes

going to the grocery store dressed like the townspeople have been warned about me

I’m not avoiding my responsibilities they simply have not proven themselves worthy of my attention

I love being mysterious mostly because half the time I also don’t know what I’m doing

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