Alright, now that I’m done failing the N2 again I have some time to post and boy do I have a mountain of notes and comparisons. So today, I will be talking about ～てたまらない、～てならない、and ～ないではいられない which all have similiar meanings.
～てたまらない means “ dying to do; unbearably” This is used with verbs and adjectives (Vて/イAdjくて/ナAdjで) This for strong feelings or physical sensations. If your subject in is the 3rd person, you must use ようだ、らしい、or のだ at the end of the sentence.
日本に来て友達ができるまでは、国に帰りたくてたまらなかった。
うちの子供は試合に負けたのがくやしくてたまらないようです。
～てならない means “can’t help but” This is used with verbs and adjectives (Vて/イAdjくて/ナAdjで )When you cannot suppress emotions or physical sensations that naturally arise. Often used to indicate a state of mind that cannot be suppressed and results in a highly emotional condition. This often expresses negative feelings. This must also use ようだ、らしい、or のだ at the end of the sentence when in 3rd person.
子供のころピーマンを食べるのがいやでならなかった。
～ないではいられない and also seen as ～ずにはいられない means “can’t resist; can’t not do” This is only used with verbs in the ～て form. Used to express something that the speaker sees and cannot overcome the strong feeling of wanting to do something about it. It’s important to know that this is not because speaker cannot control themself and is forced, but rather than it’s done spontaneously. This must also use ようだ、らしい、or のだ at the end of the sentence when in 3rd person.
その映画を見た人はみんな、泣かないではいられないだろう。
動物園のサルを見ると、いつも私は笑わないでいられない。
言わないほうがよいことは分かっているが、話さないではいられなかった。
In conclusion, ～てたまらない is “dying to do something/unbearable” if the heat is unbearable or you’re dying to meet someone, ～てならない is “can’t help but (doing/feeling)” if you can’t help but feeling disappointed by your test score or someone can’t help feeling sad after some bad news, and ～ないではいられない is “can’t not do something” like if Beyoncé releases a new album you can’t NOT listen to it
I hope this helps, please let me know if you have any questions!
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