MyTruthMatters1

Come in, relax, and join me on my journey in rediscovering myself and finally accepting that #MyTruthMatters1

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

11 mo today

How do you go on alone? Not believed? Losing everyone and everything you ever knew and loved? The life you knew... The traditions, the family, the memories... They're all gone and replaced with hate and contempt and this group of strangers that you wonder who the hell they ever really were?? Why is it they can't believe that your perp would do ANYTHING inappropriate to you YET they could so easily believe that YOU are a liar. 44 years on this Earth and suddenly not one contact in my phone still around to call.

Is there ANYONE out there who won't be freaked out by me? Who will hear my truth and not run? Who will understand and care enough to notice when I disappear in a depression or stop me when I'm manically doing something stupid?

Until then, the words swirl in my head where I live. No one visits, no one cares. Please just make the hurt stop. 💜

[whatthefuuuuuuccckkkk]

sometimes I get memories that slap me in the fuckin face so hard like....damn I did so well repressing you, now go back to where you were hiding and leave me alone lol

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

MyTruth#62

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MyTruth#20

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MyTruth#18

[unwelcome-ozian]

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What did your healing look like today? Mine is still happening...

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

MyTruth#18

Today I actually had another family member stab me in the back. She doesn't even realize that I know everything she did and said. She's been working for a company that is scamming people out of money and she tried pulling me into it. I think she thought I wouldn't catch it or wouldn't care if I was making money. One thing she didn't count on is that #childhood abuse survivors, esp ones being called liars now, are HYPERSENSITIVE to liars and bullshit and we have a very low tolerance for it. Needless to say, I think I lost another family member today. 😣

[sneakyfeets]

Me, plunking Stinky Bastard Man’s carrier on the counter: hi he’s here for shots and a nail trim and he’ll need to be sedated

Nurse: Are you sure? We can try-

Me: he needs to be sedated

Nurse: Well, it’ll take longer-

Me: he needs to be sedated, he will try to rip your face off

Nurse: Well we’ll try without first and we’ll let you know if we need to sedate

Me, watching her carry him away: you will need to sedate him

Nurse, coming back 10 minutes later clutching her hand: so, we will need to sedate him

Me:

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

MyTruth#15 The story of my cat Mr Prince lol

[visual-poetry]

»inspirational 11 - word & symbol« an online magazine featuring 22 text-based artists in this issue is out now!

the list of artists appearing in this new issue of »inspirational« are, in order of appearance:

alicia eaton lewis - mixed media artist anatol knotek - artist and visual poet brian kenny - multimedia artist chazalon respress - fine art painter china marks - fiber artist dana frankfort - fine art painter emma parker - fiber artist emmanuel signorino - fine art painter and photographer gregory siff - visual artist, designer, writer, actor henry hussey - fiber artist ines seidel - mixed media artist johan deckmann - text based artist jordan alan brown - poet and photographer laurie doctor - fine art painter and calligrapher lisa anne auerbach - fiber artist maria wigley - fiber artist mark hopper - fine art painter meg hitchcock - sacred text collage artist peg grady - fiber artist peyton freiman - visual artist, writer, actor sara impey - fiber artist sergio albiac - fine art painting and collage artist

buy it here

[mybalancedlifestyle12]

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

Love this

[s-unflow-r]

@r.h.sin

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

[thegoodvybe]

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[timencircles]

//

[thepersonalquotes]

[entropicbrain-deactivated201909]

More info on panic attacks and the roll of dissociation. How to tell it’s coming, and what to expect: DEPERSONALIZATION.

My (de)personal(ization) experiences.

I am going to start by saying I have indulged in a variety of hallucinogenic drugs in my life as well as other types of psychoactive drugs which in a way has help me understand some of the feelings I experience while having a panic attack or dissociating. Many hallucinogenic drugs cause you to experience some of the same physical and biological reactions you get when having a panic attack.

I will start with what scared me the most. A full detachment from my physical being. Depersonalization. It always seems to start in my fingers and hands and rapidly travels up my arms and into my body. It starts feeling like “pins and needles” sensation, which at first used to make me think I was about to have a stroke or a heart attack. That scared me even more! I’d eventually end up losing all ability of motor function, including my ability to form any real words with my mouth no matter how hard I try to speak. It just sounds like I’m drunk as fuck or speaking some unknown tongue. 

Don’t worry, you’re not dying. Your brain is either in a state of hypoxia (lack of oxygen to part of body from holding your breath too long) or hyperoxia (too much from hyperventilating). Both of these states have a massive physical impact on your body at the time. You may become disoriented or have problems with your vision temporarily. Again, try not to freak out. This is normal for your body in this state.

As I had said in my earlier post on panic attacks, using something like scent, or other strong sensory roadblock to try and sidetrack you brain is the best way I have found to get through. Another way that has helped me is get into a cold fucking shower. And I mean cold… This will shock your entire body physically enough on occasion to help pull you out. Once you are back on earth heat it up and relax for as long as you need.

I will continue to post on this subject since it seemed to really help some folks. If anyone ever needs to talk about their experience with panic attacks or want to hear more about my experience please feel free to message me. I have enabled anonymous messaging for anyone that would rather not be out there.

Thank you for reading this, and be well. You are love and cared for. Also, please re-blog if you know this could help someone else you care about.

[entropicbrain-deactivated201909]

Please re-blog if you know this could help someone else you care about. I don’t ask for re-blog on stupid shit.

[genial-jinjur-deactivated202312]

I’m starting to be aware there are different levels of panic attacks. Which is terrifying and I want to be not true.

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

Def worth reblogging if you've ever experienced panic attacks

[flatteryourself]

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

Let it go

[perrfectly]

[mytruthmatters1-blog]

For my daughter 😔