My Violin @myviolin - Tumblr Blog

It feels like I'm destined to love you by the fell hand of countless past lives.

Your kiss might be the softest memory I know

People that know me can hear your name echo when I speak. They might not recognize the way it sounds, but it's not often I find somebody who doesn't enjoy talking to me. So it must sound how I'd expect it to, Beautiful.

#still #beautiful

aliyafatima

"It'd take hours to explain," I said. "I'd listen to you for hours," he said.

-Alice Oseman,

With endless reach,

With gentle grasp,

Across fate set aflame,

Through moments' past.

This body

moves for you still.

#brunfelsia #still #beautiful

Yes, still. But there's so much behind 'Of course I love you still'. More, I think, then a post could let loose.

#Beautiful

What a strange pallette, the colors seem to get more muted the longer I paint. The cools keep darkening and the warms... don't feel right. When I mix they just muddle and I just can't work with it. Odd.

I think one of the more useful traits of a pisces is being able to look at my more intense emotions and applying the feelings to the people around me and how they're acting. It gives some insight that I can really appreciate.

#zodiac

I wonder what she sees when she looks at me. What she hears when I speak. When she thinks of me, what parts does she hold dear? And, I'm curious, which does she condemn?

You're going to hear the worst about me here. So let's dig into that. I want to be as honest as I can be.

I masturbate on average twice a day. I see it as a waste of time and struggle trying to get away from this.

I have cheated once in my life. It was a while ago and still bothers me when I think about it.

I'm engaged. And I don't think it's with the right person. At first it was going really well, but recently I've been feeling misunderstood. Honestly 'recently' feels more like a year. At first I thought work was getting to me, like I was just feeling burnt out. But I think it might be a different kind of burnout, more emotional. Everything feels so forced and it's like I've been running on empty for so long.

There is somebody else. This is it's own thing because of the nature of the situation. Although a part of me wants to leave my engagement for this girl, the bigger picture of cutting my engagement is more so for me to be happy. It's unlikely that it would work with us anyway, despite how compatible we might be. I just don't think she feels that way about me. But she is the only person I've ever felt this way about.

I've put a lot of my friends to the side because I've been working long hours trying to keep a stable life. I miss them.

I want to be alone. This one's confusing and I don't know how to expand on it.

Most of what goes on here (I'm hoping) will have to do with these.

You know what, fuck it. I'm changing focus on here. I need someone to talk to and it's you. Who ever you are. Whatever you are, thank you.

I originally made this one to hide my feelings from the person I love while recognizing they exist. I didn't think she felt the same about me and still don't. She's smart, driven, analyzing, adventurous, and so damn beautiful. She also understands so much. But I'm not here to let all that loose in one post.

I'm actually not entirely sure why I'm here, I just know I need someone to talk to. Somewhere to put my thoughts and feelings without constraints. I've been way to quiet for way too long. I'm more sad, upset, and angry than I've been in a long time. But more importantly I'm more confused than I've ever been in my life. So I suppose I'm here to spew all of that onto a canvas and look at it.

So here's My Violin. Thanks for listening.

#Beginning