; you're worth more than words

Words consume me. These are the pieces of me that are left and far too often I need to be picked up and put back together.

[christinenoelk]

[marbean]

[emilythouugh]

i am makin things

[uglyswe4ters]

Sometimes my heart acts like it doesn’t have anything better to do than break over you. You made a home in the middle of my October and the way the autumn colors became bright. You blew in like a warm breeze pushing through averted eyes, through restless hands, through shifting knees, and nervous nail biting just to get to me. You dreamed of mountains and open skies. We talked of human existence under the existing stars and ignored the weather when the wind turned cold. Those stars are all dead now and I am crumbling after you climbed my snow-capped peaks. You said you would stay but you never unpacked your bags. You are climbing other mountains under bigger skies now. I should have known I should have known I should have known. I am trying to digest those words vacant of the promise they once held but they will not decompose. You keep spilling them to other girls like automated voicemail messages, recited lines of a poem you wrote to keep yourself from feeling lonely. I gathered up all the pieces of forgiveness I could find because I didn’t know what else to do with my hands and you didn’t really deserve them but I left a few for you anyways. I guess I was the one who gave you the right to hurt me and boy, did you hurt me but it was never right. The skin in my fingers still shivers every time I remember your weathered hands. I still feel my muscles stretching every time I remember the way you said there was no more room in your heart for me. I guess all of me was too much for you. Learning to piece myself back together was never beautiful or poetic. It was breakdowns on bathroom floors; it was weighted lungs; it was dripping hands; it was purple knees; it was landslides and avalanches and being buried in rubble. I only made it poetic in hopes that it would hurt a little less. It doesn’t really. It is still rushing memories hitting me like arrows because a part of you will always be in my chest. It is still bitterness invading, but barricading my doors because I don’t want the anger anymore. But at least I have stopped crumbling for the most part. At least I am digging myself out of last October and finding meaning in the colors that doesn’t involve you. I have better things to break over.

MH, All of Me Was Too Much (via uglyswe4ters)

[souris-ala-vie]

[whatthewordsmiss]

[mywrittenaffliction]

From Why We Broke Up by Daniel Handler & Maira Kalman

[leeeyuck]

Vancouver: Never before have I been in a city that was as able and eager to strike up a conversation.

[uglyswe4ters]

1. Start each week by making your bed. And if you start to feel disorderly, make it again. As you smooth the wrinkles, pretend as though you are calming each emotion back into its proper place. No one has power over the things you feel except you and sometimes you just need to visualize it. 2. His name existed before he told it to you. It does not hold power or weight. It is only a name. He does not have to cripple you every time you hear it. Repeat it until it loses significance. Some days you will repeat it longer than others and that’s okay. 3. You are human. Some days you will feel like less and other days you may feel like more. Figure out what makes you so and don’t you dare forget it. 4. Don’t forget meals and don’t you dare skip them because you are too tired or too heartbroken or just don’t feel like eating. Coffee does not count as a meal. Taking care of your body should always be a priority no matter how you are feeling. 5. You do not need to be envious of those with colorful eyes. There is nothing wrong with brown eyes. They are deep like soil and dark like coffee and someone will dig you out and drink you in again. 6. It is okay to listen to his mixed tape and to sip the nostalgia for what he left behind. But only drink in moderation. Too much is toxic. Do not lose yourself in missing him again. 7. Get lost in the sun rise or set at least once a week. Take note of what the sky has to say. Strive to stay as true and honest and bright as the colors that blaze across the it. 8. The rate at which others you know move on is completely irrelevant to the rate at which you move on. Be honest. If your heart is an ocean and you are 14,000 ft. deep then come up as slowly as you need so the pressure does not break you further. You will reach the surface again and the currents will carry you to fresh water. 9. Forgiving someone does not mean you have to let them back into your life. If he ever returns and wants to carry you away, tell him no. You are finally getting his poison out. He was good at changing you for the better but he is better at changing his own mind. 10. There is nothing wrong with not wanting to dance because it is too tainted with memories of him. One day your mind will change to let in new memories. But do not rush it. Do not feel obligated to take the hand of any boy who asks you to dance. 11. When you miss holding hands, remember that there is always one reaching out to you even if it’s not the one you want. I promise that you will never regret grabbing on.

— MH, 11 important notes to myself about moving on (via uglyswe4ters)

[eastcoastcreep]

[lemaddy-art]

"I couldn’t stay to say goodbye" Maddy Young, cyanotype, 2014

[shadowofafeeling]

[rosewaters]

[ennuietic]

Cumulus Consonance Study 1 by Scott Naismith

[uglyswe4ters]

“Lately I have been shrinking back and reducing in size to wrap around myself like a cocoon and it has not been hard because the inside of me was already caving in your wake. Have you forgotten that I handed you my heart with my bare hands all because you asked gently for it. And even though you held it up to your veins just to watch it pulse you returned it to me much lesser than whole and it is still lying on the breaks in my palms because it doesn’t quite belong in my chest anymore. I am still coming to terms with your half-hearted promises and your hallowed-out truths but they are running like water through my hands because they never dripped with the honesty I felt in them. I was happy to leave the places where your ghost lingered, though I wish I did not have to hear your name being spoken. It only sounds like ringing in my ears and not like the beautiful song it used to. I hate that I miss sitting in your passenger seat when you would look away from the road just to smile at me and say things like “I want to hold your hand.” You swallowed back any mention of how long and let your change of plans slip under your tongue before you let it out like a hurricane. and receded from me like the waves leaving me to sink and rot in the seas you left behind. But you have not come searching for the shipwreck you have caused. Forgive me, but you will not hear me ask for an apology because of the time you held my shivering limbs close and said you were sorry that you couldn’t keep me warmer. Well I am too. I am too. I am too. Forgive my silence, but I will not sing to the sound of your lost love anymore. No, I will not. I will not. I will not.”

MH, I Will Sail Again (via uglyswe4ters)

[soltreis-deactivated20230801]

[mywrittenaffliction]

heartbreak shall be the best memory given so that we can see the world differently once again and it will, still, be new and beautiful

be in front of me while I am riding through life growing, blooming, smiling

[13neighbors]

[recorp]

幻現実

[hellanne]

by Agu Lepkie