now let the darkness set us free

courtney. she/her. 27. was @n0-eyedtaissa. yelling into the void about fictional characters.

[n0-eyedtaissa]

“sometimes i think i would eat you if i could” (jackie x shauna)

yellowjackets s2ep1 - friends, romans, countrymen // on the romance of cannibalism - silas denver melvin // breezeblocks - alt-J // bones and all - luca guadagnino (2022) // strangers - ethel cain // yellowjackets s1ep10 - sic transit gloria mundi // going to scotland - the mountain goats // dialogue between ghost and priest - sylvia plath

[n0eyed-taissa]

okay so i know that the whole adam martin plot line has been ran into the ground….BUT

i think it would be sooo comedic and juicy for the plot to circle back to shauna x adam in the fourth season, picture it:

shauna is unraveling. her husband and daughter are gone. natalie is dead. lottie is dead (and her own daughter killed her! thus confirming their shared Internal Darkness, with shauna no longer able to excuse her capacity for cruelty as Only a product of her circumstances — a result of what happened Out There). van is dead. melissa hat is very much alive but on the run, whereas tai and misty seem like they’re about to team up for a takedown.

aside from revisiting her passion for creative writing, shauna doesn’t have much going for her right now (which is #real as a postgrad lol)….imagine how much drama and paranoia could be added on the mix if in season four adam’s posthumous art career starts popping tf off???

i’m rewatching the scene in s2 of shauna and jeff at adam’s art studio and he definitely had talent! his portraits of shauna were good, but with the smeared-face effect that the two created while trying to conceal shauna’s identity? they’re actually even better and more interesting? artsy hipsters like adam love abstract shit like that!!! looking at the show’s themes of memory and one’s legacy, coupled with the social understanding that some/most artists tend to be under appreciated for their talents during their lifetime………it would be really fucking funny if suddenly there was an uptick in interest in adam’s work now that he died. add in the fact that he died under mysterious circumstances? the intrigue and the value would (potentially) be going up!

what if adam’s family and friends set out to exhibit his art, or sell prints, etc etc etc, and shauna has to repeatedly come face to face with all of these different versions of herself and her shrouded identity as she’s actively crashing out about, well, all of the different experiences that lead to this current version of herself as she goes through another extreme identity crisis! the crash out of the century would take place!!! the drama!

[hudconswift]

misty quigley in every episode

1x04

[uxji]

[chilewithcarnage]

[kangarooqueen]

[frootlooppoptarts]

Some say the world will end in fire, Some say in ice From what I've tasted of desire I hold with those who favor fire. But if it had to perish twice, I think I know enough of hate To say that for destruction ice Is also great And would suffice. -Robert Frost

[the-media-pit]

at least van got her pretzel

[alicentsgf]

looking at the ways in which the characters in Yellowjackets try to embody the people they've lost. aka wearing their clothes. mimicking their personalities or roles. i think its worth saying lottie was the first to do this, and not just in wearing laura lees dress. when laura lee dies, lottie takes on the same form of faith-based suicidal ideation laura lee displayed.

reminds me of a story my nana used to tell me about when she was a little girl growing up in a very catholic corner of tyneside during wwii. her neighbour, who had lost both her sons in the fighting, wouldnt evacuate her home during the bombing raids. claiming it was 'gods will' if she died. eventually one night her house was leveled by bombs. and she did die. unfortunately so did her own daughter and a number of the neighbours, including my great grandfather - they died trying to convince her to join them in the bomb shelter. faith-based suicidal ideation often works this way. you cant ask or plan for death, suicide is sinful, so you have to lean into dangerous circumstances that allow you to pretend you were never truly seeking death at all. you were just seeking an answer. but, to quote john fowles (who we know at least somewhat inspired yellowjackets with his books), "an answer is always a form of death". as we know, people with faith often end up putting others in harms way in search of their "answers". as lottie does.

lottie saw that desire to die in laura lee. i think thats what her forseeing both of their deaths during the baptism is really about. because that was the moment their deaths became intrinsically linked. as sure as cause and effect. lotties search for death began the moment laura lee died, and she takes the same path to it - death through faith. even knowing what happened to jackie, lottie cuts herself and allows herself to pass out in the snow. if mari and akilah hadnt found her she would have died that night. she seeks out shauna at her angriest, and asks her to hurt her. and it nearly kills her. its why she then encourages the violence further. incorporates the hunt into her belief system, when originally she was horrifed by it. every time the cards are drawn, she looks disappointed not to be chosen. she seeks out callie, the girl who shot her, a girl she sees the potential for incredible violence in. she even sets out the candles ready, leads callie to the top of the basement stairs, antagonizes her. and when shes finally pushed, she smiles. its the same as what laura lee did. throwing herself headfirst into the shallow end of a pool. choosing to try and fly a plane that was so clearly deteriorated.

when lottie has her vision in the snow she tells laura lee "i dont want to leave you". its a veiled but fairly direct way of voicing that she doesnt want to live. that she values laura lee more. so its no wonder she spends the whole rest of her life chasing death. for lottie, her connection to faith is laura lee and therefore to reach for death/laura lee/faith is all one and the same. they are her own personal holy trinity. its why she sees laura lee at the moment travis dies. he was trying to do the exact same thing - to reach out and touch death, supposedly leave it all in the hands of a higher power (the wilderness' hands. lotties hands. its the same thing. they are the wilderness and it is them), all whilst denying his active choice to die. its why the moment lottie sees laura lee in that scene contains a quick flash of lotties swollen bloody face after shauna beats her almost to death. it would be the first time lottie deliberately invoked violence in her pursuit of death/laura lee/faith.

but its also perhaps why that version of laura lee is decaying and screaming at lottie as travis dies. just like she yelled at lottie to leave. to go get warm. when lottie was passed out in the snow. deep down lottie knows this is not what laura lee would have wanted for her, for any of them. what lottie puts her faith in isnt laura lee anymore, but some rotting, demonic imitation of her. its too late though, the compulsion to chase death is too deeply imbedded. to lottie, its the only way she can reach laura lee, and in doing so reach the comfort and security in faith that she offered. ultimately just searching for somewhere she feels safe after a lifetime of being misunderstood and alienated in her illness.

[softantlers]

something really interesting about akilah feeling that the fact she killed her own goats is evidence that her vision was false (autonomy, which contrasts with her conception of faith in the wilderness) and lottie pushing back that, no, this doesn't matter because the vision was actualized regardless.

always find it fascinating how lottie isn't really preying on passive people or assuming that everyone around her is a pawn, like it sometimes gets implied. she seeks active players (natalie, shauna, travis, akilah). it's an interesting thought exercise to wonder how she considers free will and predestination, or how she may have had to adapt her beliefs around this since she so often loses time & control as her lucidity wains in and out.

she seems to gravitate toward people who will eventually resist her and take their own charge, like there's something in that chase that is fueling her and keeping her tethered to the task at hand.

[fadeintoyou1993]

TRAVLOT + murder attempts for @bandydear

[virgoactias]

‘van is a wolf this’ ‘van is a wolf that’ no, you are all wrong. van will forever be a silly orange cat.

the resemblance is uncanny

[a-m1dnight-dreary]

Yellowjackets reached peak comedy when Lottie expressly asked Taissa if she was outside eating dirt and Taissa going "the actual fuck? no" and just dipping. Nothing will ever top that

[lankylounger]

I know her ass was constantly getting carded for fouling the other team’s offence

[zengguos]

my favourite yj defense line hcs is laura lee being the calm analytical "parking-the-bus" defender that sees the play as it is and is focused on keeping the line up to force off-side to balance lottie's "fuck it I'm going in" physical mentality as she's intercepting the next move before the direction of play is even decided and is thundercunting people off the ball. the opposition attack genuinely fears her angry "my therapist said I should take up a sport to emotionally regulate myself" 5'10 cleats chopping up the grass ass as she slides across ready to take your leg off for that "worth it" yellow card (that gets the other team coach arguing with the ref that she should have been sent off for the foul). the girls even have pre-match lockeroom bets on if she gets carded during the match too (I think they would also do that for other players like tai, shauna and mari). 😭

she'd also be the type of defender that would be in everyone's business — like one foul move on her teammate she's right up there giving it right back before her teammate can even get up.

she will hold grudges on the pitch and she will keep mental notes of previous matches with players.

gotta love the centerback mentality.

[lottielee-altar]

Laura Lee holding Lottie's hands when her prayers don't work during the crash. Lottie never really believing in anything but Laura Lee. Oh, they were each other's god.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, and what else has Lottie Matthews ever hoped for aside from the ability to trust herself? An ability that seemed impossible but was given to her by Laura Lee. After all, it was never the wilderness that chose Lottie to be a prophet, it was Laura Lee.

[forgotmysword]

im gonna pass out

[euthenasias]

do ya’ll think travis ever had to wear crop tops n booty shorts when the lesbians took all his boy clothes from the community pile

if there weren’t already two pairs of khaki pants, they’d fight over the one like siblings

[sull3nbrunette]

throwing up. crying. throwing up again.