[ she | they ]
Hi!! Dunno how you found me but welcome :D
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If lost return to jazthecheezecat /silly <333
I do art, writing, and a bit of scripting as well. Asks are open for art and writing requests!!
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Other than that, just be a decent human being please –, ᴗ – basic DNI are a block on sight for me.
I am only active on Tumblr under the account n1ghtskye, please report anyone who reposts my content without credit!!
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| DNI
If you have a phobia involving human beings, all I ask is that you make an effort to separate the subject of fear from the people beneath it. I do not tolerate hate speech; Although I understand that the fear is irrational, it will never be a valid excuse for harassment.
For those with paraphilias, it is much more difficult to determine what is acceptable. As an asexual individual, unharmful sexual paraphilias aren't something I feel I have a right to judge; Regardless, my opinions generally skew more negative. If you have a paraphilia that causes harm in any way, please do not interact with this blog.
I think I'll post these here. whatever. go my yuri. everything under the cut can be considered suggestive, I think. wawawa
I couldn't come up with a good dialogue, I just wanted to put the sketches into a comic and that's how this happened. also here's a bonus sketch I didn't feel like adding to the main thing
f/os who are openly jealous but don't want to be too "obvious." the ones who would wrap their arms around your waist and place their faces into your neck. the ones who hold your hand tightly and bring it up to their lips to press a kiss in front of everyone else in the room.
the ones who will call you "my love" or "honey" or "baby" to anyone who dares to flirt with you because you're theirs. the ones who lean close to your ear to whisper secrets that only the two of you can share.
when the person who dared take your attention away from them finally gets the hint and leaves, they finally feel safe enough to ease up. but they can't stop the grin on their face as they nuzzle against you.
playing BRM5 and i had just spent the past hour and a half killing infected soldiers in Site C for a mission. went to a restaurant to grab a beef stew recipe for the other mission i had taken, was SO CLOSE to an exfil point,
"Her hair's up. I remember she'd always have it down. I liked playing with it, how the strands faded into that color. I used to think the dyed part in her hair was natural, and mine would grow like that too. She said if I grew mine out she'd dye it for me. I wanted to, but she'd always cut it short and the barber scared me so it never happened.
She's not wearing her sweater in this photo either. I think... it was green. With daisies on it. Or was it polka dots? Actually, she owned a lot of sweaters. I remember now. She'd always wear one no matter what, even if it was hot outside. I guess she really liked them. I liked them too. It was better than her uniform. It smelled dirty and was all plasticky, feels terrible.
I wish they used a happier photo. One where she's outside, or dancing, or knitting. At least those ones have color. Well, I don't think the reporters asked me for photos. I can't really remember... but I think we have some. We have an album of them, photos we took of our walks. Where did I put them...?"
What does thomas do around the house? Like does he clean the house? Buy groceries? Do most of the errands? And whats his relationship with ivan and jim, i really wanna know more about thomas in your au
Thomas does part of the housekeeping in the apartment: dishes, laundry, etc. Being raised on a farm and his time in the military gave him skills that let him lived independently for so long. If there's something needing to be fixed, Thomas has it covered.
Ivan insists on doing chores himself, despite already running most of the errands + managing their bills. It stresses him out, but refuses help when given. They should be depending on him, after all.
Jim is... not expected to do any chores. He lacks basic domestic skills (cite: jim's old house) so Ivan's usually cleaning up after him- sometimes refusing to let him do anything. But Thomas will let him help out, small tasks that give him some responsibility.
"damn nexus how are they payin for a 3-bedroom apartment" urm yeah
Thomas works at a flower shop. Naturally, he's a gardener and he mainly grows flowers. Duh. But the shop is also safe for him: low-stress, simple interactions, very quiet. He enjoys his time with the flowers and picking out the perfect bouquets for customers.
Ivan works at a restaurant. When he's not busting tables and hauling orders, he's charming customers with his words. He's become a favorite to repeats, never forgetting a face and always knowing what to say.
I feel like Ivan is the type to forget to switch off customer service mode sometimes and accidentally spook Jim/Thomas when they ask where him the tape is— "I'll be with you in a moment, please consider taking a look at our drinks menu in the meantime!" and Jim/Thomas staring at him hella confused..
i. am explodign shortly FLOWER SHOP AU FLOWER SHOP AU AUFHGJDKFJRHTBDJDJRHD THATS SO PERFECT FOR THOMAS OMFG— *puts hands on botj your shoulders*—does he bring Jim flowers. did he. the dandelions. IM GONNA EXPLODE RJGHGHRJGJ—
this was just a sillygoofy doodle but i diiid start thinking abt childhood headcanons soo yeah [im in a very writey mood if it's not obvious]
Thomas was born in the countryside, living his childhood on his grandparent's farm. It's where he got his affinity for gardening, always watching his old folks tending to their fields. He was always curious about everything, poking at the barn animals and digging through the fields for treasures. He loved the farm, would've been content to stay and let his folks retire, if he hadn't got that letter enlisting him to war...
I alr talked abt Jim's childhood so this is a bit more abt his schizophrenia. He had frequent hallucinations as a child, mainly visual and auditory. He'd see things move on their own or disappear/reappear, and hear sounds like thudding or footsteps when it wasn't possible. It caused him distress and panic, unable to explain these hallucinations to adults- who frequently dismissed them as an overactive imagination.
Hi Ivan. In childhood, he had problems regulating emotions. Some days he'd play well with kids, but other times he blew into tantrums. His behavior was chalked up as being bratty/spoiled, so his parents dismissed the idea that something was going on with him. Ivan learned to mask his emotions and learned how he should behave to avoid punishments, but never truly moving past his habits. He mellowed out, learned to lie better, so to his parents he just "sorted himself out."
and a bonus teen ivan + andrew for the funsies. originally i had the idea that they'd be highschool friends but it wouldn't rlly make senes bcs andrew never met ivan's parents but then i remembered idgaf!!!
WAHHH BABY JIMMMM HES SO CUTEE!!! I headcanon that he actually really likes drawing, especially with charcoal and other chalky mediums that are more hands on; It helps ground him and was one of the first activities he tried in rehabilitation. He does a lot of still life drawings and carries a little sketchbook with him for sketching birds and cool plants he sees on his walks with Thomas.
Ivan hates cleaning up after it though— whenever Jim draws, charcoal stains get everywhere; He'll often forget to wash his hands after and will walk around with blackened fingertips for the next couple of days. It reminds Thomas a lot of gunpowder stains...
For the childhood headcanons, I really love the idea of auditory hallucinations. Sometimes, when he's alone in bed, he'll hear the lullaby his mother used to sing to him... a hand stroking his hair, the rustling of trees that don't grow this deep in the city...
Thomas and his grandparents... ouugh he's absolutely a farm kid. He loved to explore, and would spend most of the day just wandering around the property, looking for garden snakes and collecting cool sticks to bring back. I wonder if he played soldier before he was drafted...
Oh Ivan... At some point, he lost track of which mask he was wearing. His parents never quite understood how to deal with him... Out of everyone in his family, his dad was probably the only one who could relate to him— but we know how that ended.
Ivan remembers the last time he'd been to church. The same one his father's funeral was held. It was the final week before he and his mother moved, teary goodbyes and warm hugs shared between the aisles, but Ivan can only remember staring at the altar. He never stepped foot into another church since then.
"We live on the same complex, but we haven't been properly acquainted. I'm sure you've met my partner. He's knocked at your door a couple of times."
"Oh, right... well it's nice to meet you, eh-"
"John."
"Right, John."
"So, what is it you wish to confess?"
"... I feel like I'm not doing enough. I've been working so hard to be a better person. But when I try to help people, to prove that I am changing, I end up making things worse."
"Proving yourself to who? To yourself, or others?"
"Well, I know I can change. I want to show that I can. But it's so hard to do it when people don't believe you. I can't be a good person if nobody's giving me a chance."
"You are what you perceive yourself, not other's around you. The only one who can judge our character is the Lord. It's His good light that'll guide us to redemption, we have to carve our own paths. We have to help ourselves before we can save others."
"So, what? I have to isolate myself for the good of others?"
"Of course not, our love is there to share. But we have to reflect on why we give it. Do you help others because it's what they need, or because you want something to gain?"
"Are you saying I'm selfish?"
"I'm not your enemy, Ivan. You joined us today because you wanted to heal, no? We must recognize our sins before we can meet Him under his light. Our reflections are not pretty, but we have to face it regardless."
"I already know I'm a bad person! That's what I've been saying! Is that not enough? Just tell me how to fix it! What more do I need to do for him to forgive me! For Andrew to- to..."
"..."
"If you need a minute to calm down, I understand. You can stay after hours so we can talk more about this, if you wish. I'll still be here."
"No. No it's fine."
"Are you sure, Ivan?"
"I said it's fine, I don't need anything else."
"I understand. But, Ivan, you're always welcome to come back. His love will always be with you."
shaking this aggressively with my teeth .. ur writing style is so awesome !!
"Just tell me how to fix it! What more do I need to do for him to forgive me! For Andrew to- to..."
This is probably the best interpretation of Ivan that I've seen so far. He isn't opposed to change, in fact the opposite is true. In reality, Ivan himself isn't the problem— rather, it's the way that he 'helps' people and the methods he uses that cause the most harm. Not only that, but he's likely 'helping' them more out of a desire to be forgiven than anything else; It's that same desire that has blinded him to the hurt that he's caused. The intent, though pure in nature, has been corrupted by its purpose.
"You are what you perceive yourself, not other's around you. The only one who can judge our character is the Lord. It's His good light that'll guide us to redemption, we have to carve our own paths. We have to help ourselves before we can save others."
GRJJRRRJRJR John's dialogue is so genuinely so well written I'm gonna explode... I really like how gentle but persuasive he is— he sees that Ivan has been led astray and wants to guide him onto the right path without coming off as accusatory.
"Are you saying I'm selfish?"
Ivan does get a bit defensive in response, though... I think this is the part where he begins to feel threatened by the conversation; John has begun to unravel the putrid, decaying bandages that hide his wounds. Andrew's is still festering, infected with false righteousness that threatens to undo the progress he has made. John knows that for Ivan to heal, he must allow himself to become vulnerable— to expose that wound and allow it to be treated. But it is still raw. It is still hurting. And so when John probes at it, he withdraws. Because it hurts; He is hurting. He is hurt. And it hurts. And it hurts.
