acab

wren| it/she/they | genderfluid. This is my main i live in new yawk new yawk anarchist

[n1xmasters]

i’m leaving tumblr dot com

if you wanna reach me:

Welcome!

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

look, people, it's actually very simple

"sexual assault is not actually about attraction, sexual assault is about power" remains true regardless of who the people involved are

child sexual assault, which is widespread in our society, is, statistically, almost entirely carried out by adults who do not experience sexual attraction to children but do possess power over children: teachers, priests, doctors, cops, parents, etc. the numbers on this are extremely clear. look them up

in spite of this, public discussion of the problem of child sexual assault, and the allocation of resources supposedly intended to solve this problem, focus almost wholly on the image of a violent stranger who acts out of sexual attraction, an image that fits the child abuser in vanishingly few actual cases of child sexual assault

it is a fact that there exist people who experience attraction to children who do not ever act on that thought. if you need a crude analogy to understand this, think of how you the reader probably sometimes want to kill someone you are mad at and then do not proceed to commit a murder in real life. many people who experience these thoughts are people with significant trauma who find these thoughts distressing and intrusive, and organize their lives in some part around managing and redirecting these feelings. for another crude analogy think of how people in addiction recovery reorganize their lives to mitigate urges to use. regardless, anyone who hasn't actually DONE anything wrong hasn't actually done anything wrong, as should be clear.

someone pointing out that this group of people i have just described should not be, say, murdered freely, jailed without trial, or otherwise treated as having — by common agreement — none of the rights we otherwise regard as being fundamental and belonging to all human beings, is not tantamount to advocating for more child sexual assault, and the people crowing about it are very, very obviously just using this entire very serious issue as a convenient weapon to attack people they don't like. no serious discussion of the actual problem of child sexual assault starts with the near-mythical image of "the pedophile." come on.

[soup-mother]

Everyone else's masculinity is a violent performance of the patriarchy. Not mine tho, because of [identity trait].

[soup-mother]

Patriarchy was the exclusive product of [outgroup], so we don't have it. Our masculinity is cool and secretly leftist because of [identity trait]

[analog-delight]

I do some sw where my rule is “no men” and trans men get really weird about it so I’m glad you’re talking about something similar. one of the boxes on my consent form for private time is “are you a man? I do not work with men” And they check “yes”. And then it auto-rejects. And then I get a note or message from them like “is it ok I’m actually a trans man” no? What? my work stuff is all clearly labeled or advertised as “lesbian domme” or “open to work with submissive women”. It happened so much that I added “I don’t work with men, including trans men” which feels redundant as someone explicitly trans-friendly.

I’ll say, cis men are Worse about the boundary, I am inundated with cis men who want me to break my rule, but those men are typically huge shit heads from the get-go, whereas the trans men I’m saying no to are like…. Genuinely convinced they don’t count in the category of “man”. The ones I meet at parties and stuff are 90% kind and then talk down to me all of a sudden when I say I don’t work with men, as if I just don’t get queer history/culture/gender variance/whatever.

Literally this. Literally exactly this. I don't really have anything to add to this. Men's entitlement truly knows no bounds.

[vervain-dundrain]

Tags from mecha-girlie

[mecha-girlie]

actually gonna reblog this because these are the uncomfortable things trans men have to face as men. manhood can mean a lot of things, but that’s irrelevant to my point. what you need to be aware of is that you are unconsciously holding a loaded gun in every interaction you have with trans women. you are a danger to every woman who shares your marginalization, unless you are actively aware of this and consciously pointing that gun in a different direction. not because of biology, not because men are inherently evil or any nonsense like that, but because of your social power over women in your community. this is very basic feminism intersectional feminism. im not saying trans men are worse than cis people, im not saying you’re evil, im not blaming you for transmisogyny and im not saying you want to hurt trans women. i’m saying you have privilege over women, because you are men, and that you will hurt trans women if you don’t recognize that. im saying your transness does not make you immune to perpetuating misogyny. if knowing that makes you uncomfortable— good! it’s fucked up that society is stratified and classed in this way. transmisogyny is fucking terrible, and it’s terrible that you can leverage and benefit from it. but instead of lashing out at people telling you an uncomfortable truth, consider that the onus may be on you to get a little more comfortable with being uncomfortable.

[tapercandlestick]

and the way that you are so careful to reassure and handhold a hypothetical trans man reader that he isn't being called evil or bad while you point out how he has and could wield social power within his community tells me youve already experienced armies of fragile masculinity ftms blowing up your inbox with their hurt feelings and lack of self reflection, and im so sorry because that is a truly wretched hoard to be faced with

[annierosaart]

I think non trans women should stop talking forever about trans women's vent posts about being mistreated by other queer people

[annierosaart]

lamenting that a lot of TME people, which includes transmasc people, treat us like shit is not a personal attack. get a grip.

[annierosaart]

in fact if you take it as one maybe take a second to analyze why. because maybe there's a reason.

[annierosaart]

scrutinizing a vent post of a mentally unwell person until she says things you can hang her for is bad actually. doubly so when she reveals it was about her abusive ex of 8 years.

[bunnygirlpaws]

people on twitter are trying to cancel sadie liath (the trans woman who went viral not too long ago for wearing blue body paint) because she tweeted "done with trans men forever sorry." the post literally feels like the sort of thing you'd post after a really shitty date or a breakup and isn't targeted at anyone.

i don't know her at all but i really hope this doesn't hurt her too badly, and i haven't seen anyone here talk about it.

[bunnygirlpaws]

turns out i was right and she did just get out of an 8 year long abusive relationship with a trans man. not sure why people decided to add getting her run off of twitter to the pain of that, but congrats. you made it worse.

[lilyhoshikawa]

Hopefully it's okay for me to add onto this (if not i'll delete it), but this situation has been bothering me all day as well

I essentially had to investigate to figure out what happened here after seeing nothing but replies to a now-deleted tweet of trans women i follow shading anecdotal stories about how trans men helped them in the past with shaming comments like "you could never make me hate our brothers"

eventually i saw a vague post about it and looked into the replies, somebody asked for context and the only reply to that said "the blue lady went transphobic." which was odd to me, seeing as how i primarily knew her from being trans!

the fact that i couldn't find additional context aside from this was pretty terrifying, all i could find was "she has a bigoted crash out" without anyone actually elaborating

the rest of the day all i could find were posts from prominent trans women (notably all white and relatively well-off, as they so often are) talking about how they love and support trans men, replies condemning division and "hating on oppressed groups of any kind right now"

the worst of it though was seeing people already speculating on her mental state- "a person trying to tattoo themselves blue was kinda insane?" (notably of course also degendering her). it's the tried and true way to cast aside women, to call them insane and write them off

and of course anybody pointing out the harassment of an abuse victim being fucked up is met with the old "you're just like TERFs"

when i FINALLY found the full context i was shocked that it was even more benign than i assumed it had to have been. all she really said was that she didn't like or trust trans men after a traumatic experience

as my girlfriend pointed out, it's a pretty universal experience for cis women to say "i hate men" or "fuck all men" especially after a bad relationship, so why on earth is this any different, why is it now a huge issue of bigotry?

I say all this as someone who didn't really follow her btw! i have no vested interest in defending her, i found the blue thing kind of annoying. if she kept posting as normal i likely would've never known or encountered her again

but this? it's terrifying, and it's enabled by the types of trans women who are allowed to have a platform. only those that are white, rich, conventionally attractive, and know which buttons not to press. it's horrifying to see them turn on their sister en masse as soon as she steps out of line

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

within a couple years this reactionary antifeminist "transandrophobia" lurch will be a named and recognized cultural moment on par with the other passing-fad men's-rights internet subcultures we've already seen come and go this century. it's spreading to other sites, it's rippling into micro-celebrity communities, there are surely scores of explanatory tiktoks and youtube drama roundups being made even now. all will be digested in time by the great seething gut microbiome that is the world wide web. in the meantime if this hits the breadtube deep-dive circuit and i get quoted in a contrapoints video i'm gonna fucking kill myself

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

you cannot be fantasizing about murdering prominent trans women in my notes TME baby

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

can we maybe see how me, as a trans woman, ribbing about this other, famous trans woman, is different from you as a TME person showing up in my notes to be like "yeah we should murder her!" like hey there friendo i don't fucking know you? this isn't about you? don't act like that? go away?

[ash-cherryblossom]

”i’m probably doing it for attention” after not telling a living soul

[n1xmasters]

i’m like if dirk strider was a woman

[n1xmasters]

just finished homestuck. that certainly was one of the webcomics of all time

[demonprincex]

statements like "It's wrong to masturbate about a person without their consent" and "It's wrong to do something that quietly arouses you while you are in public even if no one can see it" show that a person's understanding of morality basically involves magical thinking. like I wrote this post on the toilet. That's not the same thing as me literally shitting on you

[adventures-in-poor-planning]

"oh homeless people are just gonna use your money to buy drugs" and? and?? the government uses my tax money to buy bombs and cops, you think I care if someone in a shitty situation uses money I gave them to feel marginally less shitty? fuck off!

[lancevetrov]

I’m looking at a lot of replies to this and some people really don’t get what this is like.

For context; I’m a recovering poly addict (somebody who was addicted to multiple different substances). For those who are nosy, it was alcohol and opioids.

I was also *technically* homeless for a period. I was lucky to be able to couch surf but there was definitely days where I had no idea where I was going to stay, and constantly had to rely of the kindness of others. I was on welfare at the time, but not much.

I was trying to get sober while couch surfing and holy fucking shit, it’s hard, I don’t think anyone understands how hard it is. I was fortunate to be able to lay on a warm couch and have withdrawals and even then, it was hard. That added stress of knowing that I was going to have to move on to the next kind person in my life was an extra layer to add onto how fucking sick I was. A lot of people don’t understand the physical aspect of drug use. My first night I spent violently shaking and clinging to a toilet bowl, wondering if I was dying.

I cannot even begin to fathom what it is like for those living on the street going through withdrawls. Hungry, cold, sleeping in a tent or on a cardboard box or on the god damn ground. I do not blame a single person for using money I give to avoid that. That is not a situation where it is reasonable to ask people to get sober. It’s just not.

Support homeless addicts, unconditionally, or don’t bother pretending like you care about them. Take the niciesties out the fucking door. If your criteria for helping homeless people includes “sobriety” then you don’t actually care.

[oojamaflip-whatchamacallit]

#“ohh theyre gonna use it on drugs” withdrawal kills people.#get out of your stupid fuckin fourth grader 'drug addicts are evil spooky creeps in trenchcoats who want to hurt you' mindset#getting sober is a monumental task even with a comfortable home and a support system and access to medical services and the ability to#take time off of work#expecting people to go cold turkey while homeless? don't make me laugh man

[weavemama]

DO NOT SUPPORT SALVATION ARMY 

[jackharknessday]

I can back this up. It isn’t only their shelters.

I have a family friend who worked at our local Salvation Army headquarters as a a secretary. This particular office took all the Christmas donations for children in need, put them in a warehouse, and on a designated day the staff and their friends picked through them all, taking whatever they wanted. She saw people hauling away bikes donated for specific families. Some local children had hundreds of dollars of gifts donated in their name, and on Christmas they received three cheap things, items likely not even from the person who sponsored them.

My friend quit, and I’ve not given them a dime of my money since then.

Do not give to the Salvation Army.

[gayfeatherfiend]

Do Not. Give. To. Salvation. Army

[rab-it-deactivated20231030]

My turn.

I’m a wildfire and disaster logistics specialist.

I deal with a lot of agencies who provide disaster relief.

I used to say the Salvation Army’s disaster services were the one (literally the ONE) good thing they did.

They would come in, set up a canteen trailer, make and pass out hot coffee and donated food in a disaster, usually being one of the first agencies to get there and the last to leave.

Then I found out.

Every time they did this, regardless of if they were actually invited or deployed by the agency in charge (usually FEMA, sometimes others) they would SELF-DEPLOY. Meanjng they would just show up. Ok. That’s not TOO bad, sometimes agencies have to take initiative and get there before the red tape is sorted out. BUT. They, after they left at the end of the incident, they would send FEMA or the host agency a BILL. They used one or two paid employees (usually the driver of the truck and a supervisor); and many VOLUNTEERS, but they would bill for EVERYONE’s Labor at standard federal rates. They would bill for the food they distributed even though it was all donated by another agency or private parties. They would bill for the coffee they made and the supplies. Except they would use electricity from the shelter location, water from donations or from the shelter, and in many cases, they would get the coffee and industrial filters DONATED, but bill for them at retail prices.

Don’t FUCKING give to the Salvation Army.

[knight-of-vengeance-deactivated]

The Salvation Army is also ass to the workers. A good number of people join it, naively thinking that it’s doing good, and end up leaving cynical and beaten down. The management is hostile, if not outright abusive, and demand some ridiculous hours of it lower to mid-level staff. Don’t support these people.

[fisharescary802]

Unsettling update

[oldearthaccretionist]

Find better local charities and shelters and give to them instead!

[moonybyte]

Also just for even more horrific context on the original twitter thread?

Salvation Army reached out to Milknmuffins and asked what shelter she’s at with the promise to address the abuse in it. She…ended up saying where she was. She was thrown out onto the street. It’s also all on Twitter.

They invited her to a personal talk so she could explain the situation in person.

And then they threatened her with a screenshot of a rape-threat made supposedly by her:

And then threw her out into the street while claiming she broke house rules that

So yeah, the Salvation Army is a bunch of entitled assholes that will treat the most vulnerable like shit if they dare try to do anything that makes them look bad

[supernovafirefly]

The “Fuck Salvation Army” posts are making the rounds again, so conisder this your reminder: Do. Not. Give. These. Assholes. A. Single. Fucking. Penny.

Do not support them in any way, shape, or form.

[eagletrekkie]

‘Tis the season to say FUCK the Salvation Army.

[guppys-dreams]

[cactus-with-boobs]

So I’m at my doctor’s office n my doctor is asking about estrogen effects. I tell her about my chest growth and she asks to check. I pull up my shirt and she goes “woah, nice” HELLO? EXCUSE ME?

[estrogenesis-eeveeangelion]

prev @shinytarountula EX-FUCKIN-SCUSE ME?

[victusinveritas]

[status-quo-hater]

I think most transmasc vs transfem discourse ultimately stems from the painfully cisgender/cisfeminist worldview that men and women are opposites. Whatever privileges men experience, women experience the opposite. Whatever violence women experience disproportionately, men perpetrate it. Women are opressed and men oppress. And when we're only talking about cis people, that's pretty accurate.

But it doesn't really work when you map it onto trans people. Because cisnormative society doesn't reward or empower any sort of trans people to oppress anyone. Trans people do not have any sort of gender-based privilege.

Trans men and trans women should not be understood as gender-oppressor and gender-oppressed the same way that cisfeminism views men and women. Doing so is honestly just blatantly ignoring the reality of trans people's lives, and will always just be a form of genderessensislism and/or bioessentialism.

[sluglover666]

Yes! This is why so many conversations about transandrophobia are labeled transmisogynistic, even when they don't mention trans women at all. To certain people every statement about 'tme' people is ALSO a statement about 'tma' people. If you treat men and women as opposites and transfer this thinking to trans people, and if you sort trans people into two distinct groups, you literally cannot hear someone talk about their own experiences and not automatically fill in what they're 'silently saying' about the 'opposite' group. Every statement about trans men is also an opposite statement about trans women.

[theambitiouswoman]