“are u okay” can we change the topic before i cry

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@n2the0ceannn
“are u okay” can we change the topic before i cry
Today I cried about you
And I had to choke back every tear because I was at work
And here I am listening to a song that makes me think of you and I’m fighting the urge to show up at your front door so I can sleep on your couch bc then I would at least be closer to you
I miss you but you hurt me and I don’t know how to forgive that
POV:
Your friends own a catering company and they need to test a recipe so you get woken up on your day off to help 🙃
I think I just miss having friends.
What I would do to just sit in your house and be in your presence. :(
you can’t control what takes you out.. all you can do is fight as hard as you can to stay alive
Sunday me: man that was steady let’s see how much I made this shift. *over $800*
Me: oh hell yeah I love my job
Tuesday me: fuck this fucked off shift fuck everything how much did I make *over $600*
Me: that’s cool but still fuck this
Am I still going to show up to my shift tomorrow? Yes. Am I still going to tell everything to fuck all the way off? You fucking betcha.
I give up.
I always get sad thinking about how the possibility of loving someone and trusting them enough to be my forever adventure partner may never be in the cards regardless of if I still haven’t met all the people who will love me.
The past just reiterates why I shouldn’t trust anyone.
I deleted my ex’s contact today and decided to just leave that alone and my money tripled tonight at work.
I guess it was about time after going through a weird drought.
It’s so crazy how much I want to just lay next to you and you don’t care about me anymore