Something About Teshuva...

בס״ד 21-year-old chabad baal teshuva, trying to navigate life.

[naasevnishmah]

Really glad it’s Elul and the king is in the field so I can tell Him how much I hate Him. 

[fizzingwhizby]

Food $200

Electricity $100

Gas $70

Nude tights $613,000

Internet $50

Phone $85

Someone who is good at the economy please help me budget this.

[naasevnishmah]

I just found this pesach article I wrote for a teen publication a few years ago. I was having a major crisis about doing things for other people and being frum because that’s what others expect from me and not because of G-d. In the last few weeks I’ve found myself having this crisis again, it seems to happen every year around this time. And really, I think past me had the right idea. Happy freeing pesach tumblr

[naasevnishmah]

My boss hasn’t given me any work in the past three weeks and it was really nice for the first week when I had the flu, but now...it’s getting ridiculous.

It’s 9am and I’m watching Stranger Things. This is my life now. 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

[naasevnishmah]

@wenevergotusedtoegypt for your viewing pleasure 😂😂

[naasevnishmah]

I don’t know when this switched from a Jewish blog to a place where I complain into the void of the internet, but I am sorry for everyone for everyone who’s still following...

[naasevnishmah]

I did NOT fly back across the whole east coast just to feel anxious and nauseous and not be able to sleep again. I hate this I hate this I hate this

[naasevnishmah]

Just wondering if there is a way to have a birthday farbrengen without being the center or attention?? Because that sounds kind of nice, but also groups of people aren’t really my thing, but also it sounds kind of nice.

[naasevnishmah]

Mentally preparing to spend my 21st birthday in bed with the flu 😞

[naasevnishmah]

I’ll probably look back at this and laugh one day, but until then...I just don’t even know how to deal with this. Hashem has tested me SO many times in the last few months, and especially in the last month. I know everything is hashgacha pratis and I’m not even trying to understanding, but I am trying to be ok with it and it’s so hard.

[naasevnishmah]

Aaaand I have the flu. @Hashem what the hell!!

[naasevnishmah]

Just found out a friend of mine and her whole family just died in a plane crash. Happy new year. BDE.

[naasevnishmah]

I haven’t thought of anything besides this tragic accident in two days. I can’t breathe and I can’t sleep and I have to work at this retreat for the next week and I don’t know what to dooooooo.

[naasevnishmah]

Just found out a friend of mine and her whole family just died in a plane crash. Happy new year. BDE.

[naasevnishmah]

@Hashem

I don’t know why you think my life is some kind of fucking joke, but please STOP.

[thebridgechicago]

Following God is a wild, messy adventure. It is growing in ways and doing things you never thought you could because God strengthens you in amazing ways.

Glen Fitzjerrell ( @unkaglen ) on Say That (via thebridgechicago)

[fxmescudi]

This year taught me I need God more than I ever thought before

[naasevnishmah]

Have strength. I believe in you and everything will be alright

This is really nice. Thank you, I appreciate it.