[HIATUS]; EXO scenarios

this is nabi's paradise, the story of her dreams. EXO scenarios. no smut. no abuse. no violence. ASK BOX IS CLOSED FOR REQUESTS!!

[nabi-scenarios]

Is this blog officially closed?

ah well, it isn’t closed. i want to keep this blog so i can look back at all the scenarios i’ve written in the past. but my muse left me and i don’t really have that much time to write these days :(( maybe one day.. who knows..

[nabi-scenarios]

🎄🎄🎄THIS IS A CHRISTMAS HUG🎄🎄🎄 Send it to 10 people you love! If you send it back, it will be better! Have a Merry Christmas to you! ❄️❄️❄️

thank you so much dear. please feel hugged as well :3

[nabi-scenarios]

YOU ARE A RAY OF SUNSHINE! SEND THIS TO 8 PEOPLE WHO DESERVES IT AND MAKE SURE YOU DON'T BREAK THE CHAIN! I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY! (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

thank you very much, dear :3

[golden-aaurora]

Dreaming - Kai Scenario

it’s been a while. but yesterday my muse came to visit me and this is what happened… this one is kinda based on EXO’s she’s dreaming. the english lyrics are here.

Dreaming - Kai Scenario

❁❁❁❁

Late at night, when even the stars are sleeping, the moon rises alone. It lightly lands on the windowsill, to shine on you, and makes you dream in your sleep…

Everything was perfect. Just like every time. It was only him and me, me lying in his arms, facing him and smiling. My head was resting on one of his arms, his other hand was placed on my cheek, his thumb slowly stroking my skin, causing me to shiver slightly from time to time. These were the moments I was living for. Everything else was just… life. I felt happy in those moments. I felt protected, secure, warm. Watching him watching me was comforting me, calming down all of my aching muscles. 

Keep reading

[golden-aaurora]

Experiment #88 - Kai Scenario

the official MV didn’t get released nor the monster teaser. but i had this in mind the whole last night and it really didn’t let me sleep. this may be crappy af but it was the first time in months i felt like writing something again :))

Please be careful, he is the most dangerous one out of the three that got left behind, they said. He makes no difference, it doesn’t matter if you’re a doctor or psychologist. If he gets bothered by you, he could even attack you. He is wild. He was there for almost two months now, after they got found at the almost completely destroyed lab everyone was talking about - But in fact everyone denied that it was there. Some called them a secret organization to form the ultimative super humans, others thought they were just monster makers. Actually… Even I, myself, had no idea what they really were up to. The truth is, I doubt they knew it themselves. All they did was to experiment with innocent people, killing the majority, abadoning the ones that didn’t turn out well. The official numbers got released only a few days ago -  147 people that got experimented with. But insiders said that there might were at least three times as much. Out of these 147 cases released… Well out of these 147 found records, a diary for each of them, we figured out there were only 9 patients that have survived.

9. That’s all. 9.

Kim Minseok. Do Kyungsoo. Park Chanyeol. Oh Sehun. Zhang Yixing. Byun Baekhyun. Kim Junmyeon. Kim Jongdae. Kim Jongin.

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[golden-aaurora]

Don’t go today - Kai Scenario

i’ve listened to this song for the first time today and totally fell for it. and yeah this is what happened. click this link, it’s the second song. and since i haven’t been feeling very well for the past few days.. it’s been a while and i’m sorry for this..

Don’t go today - Kai Scenario

Breathing got hard the second these words had left his mouth. My back was still facing him. I somehow was glad he wasn’t able to see my eyes, which were filling themselves with tears right away, little by little, and I had no idea how long I could hold them back. My fingers were cold but I was still sweating. I knew this would happen some day, I just did. Somehow. A small feeling that became bigger with more time that had passed. It wasn’t a feeling anymore, it got a problem. A problem I couldn’t handle on myself anymore. But I was too afraid to make the first step, to talk about it, to open the box of pandora. I didn’t want to see it and I tried my best to smile, as bright as I even could.

My chest was painfully tight, it just felt like my heart was too fast to stand still in there. It was beating so fast I was afraid it would just stop or break into thousands of pieces. Was this real now? Was this really what he wanted? Would he be happy with this decision?

I let out a shaky breath - Freezing, sweating, all at once. I felt like breaking down… I just wanted to lay down, to let my body rest. Even though I somehow knew it I didn’t expect it. Everything seemed to be okay the last time I saw him, it seemed like it was just a feeling I had. We were both smiling when he left last week.

Keep reading

[golden-aaurora]

Noona! - Kai Scenario

so this is the first time for me writing this kind of scenario, where the girl is older. but after i saw this super cute gif of jonginnie, i just had to. and in the end… the scenario ended being really different from the first idea i had. but see it yourself. i’m sorry :/

Noona! - Kai Scenario

I knew it was still too early. I knew that she was going to scold me, once again. Just like every other day. She would just tell me to be quiet for some more time, maybe for two or three more hours. But I couldn’t help it, I wasn’t able to sleep any longer. Groaning mutely I turned around and my eyes found the digital clock standing on the little nightstand right next to her bed right away. 5:37. She definitely would scold me. Because today I woke up even earlier than I did the days before. I kept staring at the red light until a soft and really quit thud! disturbed my own unbearable silence. 5:38, the clock-face had changed. I had no idea for how many times I’ve seen this already, how many hours I wasted while just looking at a clock, lost in my own thoughts until someone snapped me out of my daze. Most of the times it happened when no one wanted to say something, when they didn’t know what to laugh or to cry about anymore, when everyone else got silent. And then suddenly a memory crossed their minds and they decided to start a new conversation. Their voices, getting louder and louder, interrupting my thoughts. It has been like this for weeks now and every now and then I began to wonder for how long they had to do this. For how many more days or weeks they had to pretend something they weren’t. Happy?

I still think this is why Joon Myun told me to get out for some days. To leave the dorm, without searching for the embrace of my parents. He wasn’t angry at me, it wasn’t my fault. I was the victim. All I could see were the glassy walls he had build around himself in order not to get hurt any more. But still they were too fragile to protect him forever. His eyes were red all the time, tired because he wasn’t able to sleep as well, too many thoughts invading his mind. It was his idea to come to this place, to sleep in this bed, to make breakfast in that kitchen because I was too impatient to stay still any longer. "What do you think about staying at Yura’s place for some days?", he quietly had asked as he saw me standing in the kitchen, ruffling my hair, trying to cook even though I had no idea how to. Even the little things kept confusing me. And not even ten minutes later I was halfway done packing my things. I was thankful. I didn’t have to stay strong all the time. After all it was way easier to get observed with one pair of eyes other than nine.

A quiet sigh escaped her mouth, faintly wandering behind my back. This was one of the few times she was relaxed. In her dreams everything seemed to be okay, just as fine as it used to be. And I began to wonder what kind of scenario was lulling her into a even deeper sleep. At least it seemed to be a peaceful one. I didn’t even want to remember that one nightmare some nights ago - When she was the one to wake me up, screaming and crying, her arms trying to hit me as soon as I approached her. Twenty minutes later she was still sweating but breathing more comfortably in my arms, her head resting on my shoulder. I still don’t know how we ended up sitting. But we did.

I slowly turned around once again, just in order to face her back. She seemed to be so far away right in that moment, even though I only had to stretch out my hand for a little bit. But instead all I did was to lay there and to stare at her back, watching her body move just slightly while breathing. I was still tired but it seemed to be impossible for me to close my eyes. I didn’t want to get frightened again, once a day was enough.

My mind felt heavy, I didn’t even want to think anything. But it’s too funny. Once you try not to think about anything, the weirdest thoughts begin to fill your mind. Mine as well. But luckily Yura managed to keep me distracted when she hugged the blanket closer to her body, just like her life was depending on it. My stomach began to hurt. I began to miss her warmth, the closeness, her fingertips on my skin, brushing it gently. The longing always had been stronger than the sleepiness. I let out a heavy breath before I started to move. It wasn’t a big distance but it seemed like an eternity until I was finally able to wrap one of my arms around her waist, forcing her to move, closing the gap completely. I was strong enough to do this.

Yura squeaked quietly and for a second I held my breath, waiting. Did I already manage to wake her up? I lifted my head, trying to see if her eyes were opened but it seemed like she forced herself to keep them shut as her hand grabbed mine for support. "Noona?", I asked, my voice still drowsy and heavy because I haven’t talked for so long. We have been quiet most of the time yesterday, just laying there, holding each other closely until we fell asleep somewhen in the evening. 

She just clenched her eyes shut even tighter, causing me to smile slightly until some strands of my hair kept me from looking at her. I tried to shake my head as decent as possible, blowing some air to my bangs before I was forced to let out all the air that was left in my lungs. Yura’s elbow had just met my chest. I guess my breath managed to tickle the skin of her neck. I beamed at her even though she wasn’t able to see me with her eyes still closed.

"Noona?", I whispered for another time before I pressed a chaste kiss onto her cheek, causing her to flinch, trying to escape my tight grip. But of course she had no real chance, still too tired. I just pressed another kiss against the skin of her cheek, enjoying that little friction that occured right away, that occured whenever I was this close to her. But instead Yura tried to swat my face away like I was some kind of annoying bug, softly hitting my cheek with the back of her hand - While her other hand never let go of mine. "Are you awake, noona?" She grumbled something I wasn’t able to understand as I avoided another attempt of her to hit my face while lowering my head, my nose pressed into the back of her neck. “I’m bored!”, I kept annoying her. “Noona!”

"Be quiet!", Yura whined cutely and I again began to wonder if I was younger than her or if she was younger than me. I only tightened my grip around her waist, causing her back to collide with my chest. That was how I liked it the most. "Noona, please!", I mumbled against her skin and giggled quietly when I felt her body shiver slightly. "Noo-" "Shut up!" I bit my lower lip, holding my breath in order not to laugh out loud. My heart was beating so fast I felt lightheaded. And I felt happy because that familar tickle began to spread in the region of my stomach. My body began to react in a really weird way and I wasn’t able to foresee my next action. That tickling feeling began to crawl through my whole body, from head to toe, not able to settle down anywhere… "KIM JONGIN, THAT’S IT! I’M GOING TO KICK YOU OUT TODAY!", Yura screamed. Or… She rather was yelping in pain and I widened my eyes, my body completely frozen now. I really just managed to kick her leg not so gentle with my foot because I got too carried away, too overwhelmed. Yura sat up, causing my hand  to rest in her lap now, and looked down at me. It wasn’t that dark outside anymore and I was able to recognize the annoyance in her gaze. And all I did was to look up at her with big, round puppy eyes, not daring to say or to do anything. I kicked my own girlfriend, of course she would kick me out of her apartement. I had to convince her now to let me stay, I had to do what I hated the most.

I pursed my lips, widened my eyes a little more and tried to change the tone of my voice. “Nooooona!”, I began to whine like a little boy, already knowing that she wouldn’t be able to resist me. "Ey, don’t look at me like that!", she pointed right at my face, starting to pout. "Don’t be mad, please!", I added and pressed my hands together, palms touching, begging her to forgive me. Yura sighed loudly before plopping herself back down into the sheets, eyes straight looking up to the ceiling. “Are you mad?”, I asked quietly, observing her beautiful side profile, overwhelmed once again as she turned her head to look at me. “I am not…”, she sighed for another time and rolled herself to her side so that we were finally facing each other, only a little distance between the both of our bodies. The annoyed look in her eyes was replaced, she was smiling weakly, her eyes shining and I knew that she began to fight against herself again. One day we both would lose that war… It seemed like she tried to gulp down the heavy lump in her throat before she lifted one of her hands just to let it rest on my cheek. “Good morning”, she whispered, merely audible. "Hi", I replied, relieved that she wasn’t really angry. Because she never could be actually. "You’re here…" Her lips were forming a thin line as she stopped talking and just continued looking at me. "Of course I am… Where… else should I-I be?" The smile on Yura’s face wasn’t sincere in that moment, she forced herself to stay strong. The both of us didn’t want to continue that conversation, too afraid to talk about that. Her hand was filling my body with the warmth it needed and I was thankful. So I just closed my eyes, waiting for that uncomfortable moment to pass by.

"What do you want to do today?", Yura’s soft voice rang in my ears and it was the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard, the one I would never forget, not in a thousand years. A melody I would be able to recognize wherever I was, whatever time it was. She gently began to stroke my cheek, drew little circles on my skin and I got goosebumps all over my body. It was always the same. It always has been. Slowly I opened my eyes, meeting hers. “Can we just… stay in bed?” Yura laughed quietly, not even for a second. “Again?” I nodded. “Only… one more day?” "It’s been almost two weeks now, Jongin." "One more day?", I asked so quiet that it was a wonder she still managed to hear me and I was afraid she would say no for the first time. "There are so many people that want to see you." "Noona, please! Only one more day!" My eyes were filling themselves with tears and I had no idea for how long I could stay strong. But this time it was Yura’s turn to nod, agreeing, giving in to my wish. "Alright."

I closed my eyes again, taking a deep breath before a thought crossed my mind. “Noona?” "Do that again!" And once again I opened my eyes. “Huh?” "Say noona!”, Yura demanded and caused me to lift my eyebrows. “Say it, please.” I was confused but still did what she wanted me to. “Noo-” But I had no actual chance to continue. Yura closed the gap between us, pressing her lips against mine. It wasn’t the first time she kissed me. But this time it felt different. It felt like Yura was trying to hold onto me, not willing to ever let go of me. And I actually was okay with that. How could I ever leave her like this? As she pulled away her eyes were the ones filled with tears this time. “You’re too cute when you’re pouting. You do that sometimes when you’re speaking”, she still managed to smile, resting her forehead against mine, her thumb softly stroking my lower lip. 

Almost everything had changed completely. Even my lips. They weren’t that red anymore, not that lively anymore. Now they were dry, chapped and bleeding every now and then. Her fingers found my cheekbones, I’ve lost way too much weight for her liking. I couldn’t help it. The tips of her fingers were walking over the bags under my eyes, growing bigger with every day that passed by. Yura inhaled some of the air surrounding us, taking three or four seconds to breathe out before she wrapped her arms around my upper body, holding me closely pressed against her own, my face resting at the crook of her neck. She was the one holding me this time. Usually it was the other way round. Absentmindedly she stroked the back of my head, threading her fingers through my hair. My arm found its way around her waist for another time.

"What do you want to do tomorrow?", she interrupted the silence without disturbing me and kissed my temple. "Just stay in bed?", I answered her question even though I knew that she already knew the answer. I wanted to stay like this till that one day. Until everything was over. "Okay." She kissed my forehead. "What do you want to do the day after tomorrow?" "Just stay in bed?" Yura kissed the tip of my nose. “Okay.” Her lips were trembling and it took all the strength I had left for me not to start to cry like a little baby. Because actually this was what we both wanted to do the most.

"Noona?" "Hmm?" "When…", my voice broke and it took me some seconds to sort the words that were running through my mind. I took a deep breath, my lips brushing the skin of her neck while I was talking. "Someday… You will love someone else, right?" Silence. I waited for some seconds, my heart hurting like it never did before. "No!" "But I really want you to, because…" I tightened my grip around her waist. "Because… when my… When my hair" "Please don’t!" "No", I said. "Because when my hair…" Yura’s breathing got faster and it seemed like she had that hiccups you got whenever you were crying. But still she tried her best not so sob out loud. "I want you to find someone else someday… When my hair starts to…" "No!" "But noona…" "I should really kick you out today!", she said before her voice died, not able to say anything else and she still tried her best to stay quiet while crying. I signalised her to move as I did the same, to change positions, so I was the one holding her and she was the one hiding her face in the crook of my neck. Breathing got harder the more Yura tried not to cry and the both of us failed miserably. "Let’s just stay in bed today!" I rested my chin on the top of her head, holding her close, letting her cry, doing the same, quitely. "Hmm", she hummed and I really hoped there would be more than hundred opportunities to make that suggestion. Thousand would be too much to ask for~~

[golden-aaurora]

It’s that time of the year again. Our precious and loveable cutie pie, Kim Jongin, is celebrating his birthday. And isn’t that a reason for us to celebrate that day as well? That’s why I’m doing this super little, tiny, small giveaway for you. I also want to thank all of you for sticking with me for the last 1 1/2 years and of course for always cheering for Jongin!

This is what you can win ;

[Special CD Edition] Exology Chapter 1 - EXO’s 1st Concert Album (original sealed)

SM Pop-up Store Kai-Overdose-Notebook

SM Pop-up Store Kai-Wolf-Photoset (original sealed)

Nature Republic Kai-Photocard

2x randomly choosen Handcream from Nature Republic

50 sheets-set Kai-Postcards (original sealed)

EXO Growl-Photocards (Luhan, Kris included)

Line Ear-Cap for Mobile Phones (original sealed)

If you want to see a photo of all the goods, click.

Rules ;

There will be one (!) winner.

You can like/ reblog this post how often you want, but don’t spam your followers!

You don’t need to follow me, but it would be nice.

You should be Jongin-biased (I don’t want you to make any profit out of those things when the giveaway is over).

No giveaway-blogs (I will check that! - If you have money to make your own giveaway you don’t have to reblog this).

I will ship worldwide.

If you’re under 18 please ask your parents to participate in this giveaway and to later give me your adress.

The winner will be choosen with a random number app.

I won’t publish the winner.  I will just write you a message.

I will give you 24 hours to reply once the giveaway is done. Otherwise I will pick another winner.

The giveaway will end on Saturday, February 14th (Valentine’s Day) at 2:00PM (GERMAN TIME)! I wish you all the best luck!

[golden-aaurora]

Will you be my Valentine? - (Kai Scenario)

so, this is my little valentine’s day gif for you. i hope you’re going to like it, please enjoy reading it :3

❁❁❁❁

Will you be my Valentine? - Kai Scenario

❁❁❁❁

I opened my eyes, my heart beating so fast that I thought I could collapse if I would leave the bed. I knew my legs way too well, they were so weak, already shaking. I pulled my blanket closer, higher, until only my eyes were to be seen. The soft fabric was muffling the sounds of my quiet breahting, even though I tried to hold my breath. My eyes were widened. I began to sweat and was still freezing at the same time.

There were faint noises coming from the living room of my apartement. Of course this had to happen when he wasn’t here, when he wasn’t there to protect me. A quiet bang! let me almost squeak out loud - But instead I bit down into the fabric of my blanket - Followed by a soft thud. Something just fell to the ground. Maybe, if I would just stay still, everything would be over soon. That guy or the guys would go without doing anything to me. They would only take all the non-excistent money or whatever they wanted to have, whatever they could find, and then leave me alone. Or…

Without even knowing what I was doing, I threw the blanket away from me and jumped out of my warm and comforting bed just to stand still in the middle of my bedroom, looking around nervously, biting my lower lip. Some strange pictures were crossing my mind. I turned around, looking down at my nighstand. My mobile phone wasn’t laying there like it usually did. I wasn’t even able to call my boyfriend to say goodbye, I couldn’t even call the police to tell them what was happening right now. I felt goosebumps rising all over my skin, the cold air hitting my bare legs. I was only wearing his oversized sweater, like I usually did when he wasn’t there.

Jongin was in Beijing right now. Or was it Ghangzou? Or even Tokyo? I’ve lost track of all of his schedules. All I knew was that he wasn’t here, somewhere else. Another quiet noise and a loud hiss made me jump and I began to consider if I should just crawl out of the window or hide under my bed or in my wardrobe or if I should just scream as loud as I can while running out of my apartement, leaving the thief alone.

No! I was a grown up woman. That’s what Jongin said when I whined like a little girl because he didn’t want to tell me one of his secrets. I was a grown up woman. I just had to reach my mobile phone. Somehow. I looked at the door to my bedroom, slightly opened. The living room was still dark, so he or they didn’t switch on the lights. There was only a faint light coming through the small crack of the door. Maybe he was in the kitchen. And if my mobile phone was still laying where I thought it would still lay… There was still a possibility, there was still a chance for me to get out of this situation. But…

I needed to take a weapon with me. Something I could use when the thief was coming too close. I turned around for another time, my eyes scanning the darkness until they found something lying next to my wardrobe. A clothes-hanger. “Seriously?”, I asked myself quietly and scratched the back of my head. Well, it was all I had right now, and still better than to have nothing. I grabbed the clothes-hanger with shaky fingers and then opened the door of my bedroom, just enough to press myself through the crack of the door. My fingers were thightly wrapped around the black plastic item in my hand.

Puuh, I was right. The thief was in the kitchen. So if I just would walk as quiet as possible, grab my mobile phone as fast as possible, run back into the bedroom as fast as possbile and call the police as quiet as possible… Gladly my eyes were already used to the darkness, so I had no problems to make out my mobile phone - Still laying on the little table in front of my sofa. I bit my lower lip, hesistating for just two or three seconds, before I was able to make another move. 

Everything stopped in the next second. The time, my breath, my heart for a few beats and I, myself. I clenched my eyes shut and my fingers were wrapped around the clothes-hanger so tight that the plastic was about to break. Scream and run. Just scream and run out of the apartement, I kept telling to myself. But I wasn’t able to move. The lights of my living room were switched on. Another moment of pure silence went by until that someone, that broke into my apartement, began to chuckle. Wait no! He was laughing quietly. He was laughing at me. He…

I knew that laughter. I knew that laughter too well! Mutely I made a girmace, trying not sigh out loud as I lowered the clothes-hanger. I wasn’t sure wether I should feel ashamed or embarrassed. But then something else crossed my mind, no, my whole body. A warm, long awaited and comforting feeling, making my legs shake in anticipation. There were thousands of butterflies in my stomach, making the tips of my fingers tingle and tickle, causing my heart to beat faster. 

I turned around with wide eyes, trying not to bounce up and down like a little girl, because I was a grown up woman. And there he was! My sun, my favourite scent, my favourite pillow and my favourite teddybear. There he was. Even though he should be in… Somewhere else. "Hey", Jongin greeted me when he was done laughing, beaming at me like it had been weeks since the last time we’ve meet. It were only three days. But he was here now! I let go of the clothes-hanger, ignoring the sound it make when it fell to the ground, before I almost jumped into his arms, throwing my own arms around his neck. “What are you doing here?”, I asked, my nose pressed into his soft hair. It was damp and only now I recognized that it was raining outside.

Jongin wrapped his arms around my waist, holding me close just for as long I needed him to hold me and slowly I felt how the fear was leaving my bones. “I wanted to see you. Especially today!”, he almost whispered, his lips so close to my ear. I began to shiver when I finally was able to let go of him. He was so warm and… Wait, if his hair was wet why his clothes weren’t? I looked around. So this is why he was making such noises. He tried to change his clothes in the darkness. I bit my lower lip, still smiling as he took my hand into his own, bringing my attention back to him. Jongin intertwined his fingers softly with mine, his thumb stroking over the back of my hand. It were only three days. But in moments like this - In moments we saw each other for the first time after a short seperation - I realized how much I was able to miss him. Every time. I loved this moment. It was my savior when I had a bad day (because of work or because I was missing him way too much) - I always kept thinking about this moment, a moment we had experienced for about thousand times already.

"How long are you going to stay?", I asked, already knowing it wouldn’t be for too long. Because Jongin still had some schedules before their comeback was about to start. He lifted my hand, smiling, like it was the only thing he could do right now. He placed my hand on his cheek, tilting his head into my soft touch, never letting go of my hand. I tried to gulp down the heavy lump in my throat as soon as it appeared. He was here because he was in need of attention, closeness, warmth. Even though he was with nine other guys all the time he easily felt lonely sometimes. They were able to hug him too, telling him he did well or were trying to chase his fever away when he catched a cold. But once he had told me that he needed more. That he needed someone to love him, because it felt different when he was hugged, when he was held close, his back softly stroked.

Jongin closed his eyes, planting a soft kiss onto my palm. “Only for today”, he answered. “But a few hours are better than nothing, right?” His eyes found mine, filled with hope, with so much love that I felt like I was about to melt. My legs weren’t able to carry me for much longer. I nodded. He was right. We were able to survive three days. Now he was here. Only five more days to go. We could make it trough it. “What do you want to do?” He let go of my hand, which was still resting on his cheek. I had the feeling I shouldn’t let go of him now. Jongin placed one of his own hands on my cheek instead, leaning in closer for a little bit. “I…” My heart was about to explode as he softly brushed his lips against mine. My free hand found its way to his shirt, clutching it, because I was afraid I could fall to the ground. "I just want to be with you. Can we just… be together for today?" Jongin’s hot breath was brushing the skin of my face, lulling my senses, the tip of his nose gently bumping against mine. I got the feeling that something just had happened. Maybe he had a fight with one of the members. Maybe… This wasn’t the right time to talk about it. Not now. He would tell me once he wanted to.

"We can", I said and closed my eyes in the next second. Jongin closed the gap in between of us and everything turned upside down. Kissing Jongin always felt like heaven. Because it was my definition of heaven. Being so close to him, being able to smell his scent, to feel his tender hands… Everything was perfect, everything felt familiar because we knew each other for over seven years by now. Jongin also placed his second hand on my other cheek, deepening the kiss. It became difficult to breathe. But it was okay. The two of us deserved this kiss. We deserved to be together like this right in that moment. Only when I was about to get dizzy he let go of me, resting his forehead against mine, panting slightly but chuckling happily. 

"So were you trying to kill me with this?", Jongin asked, pointing at the clothes-hanger still laying on the floor, his mood better than it was before. He again began to laugh and looked back at me, causing me to pout. "I thought… You could have been a thief or something. You didn’t tell me you were coming and I was really-" I playfully hit his chest. "Really afraid!" Jongin raised his eyebrows. “So… Tell me, how many guys do know the password to your apartement?” I rolled my eyes, hitting his chest once again, causing him to bring some distance in between the both of us.

I stomped one of my feet to the ground, just like a five year old girl would do. “I think you could have called or… Or you could at least have texted me and I could have cleaned up for a little bit and…” "But it wouldn’t have been a surprise then", Jongin interrupted me, also pouting. With that cute little pout on his lips. That pout I loved so much, because it turned Jongin into my Jongin. That pout that was there whenever he was talking and not caring for his expressions. That pout that was there when he thought no one would recognize it.

I bit my lower lip in order not to grin like a idiot, because I was too happy right now. “You don’t need to turn everything into a surprise”, I managed to gulp down the laughter that was building up in the next second because his pout got bigger. "But…", Jongin started and stopped right away, trying to think about the right words, scratching the back of his head. He knew I was right. But on the other side, he loved to see my face whenever he managed to surprise me. And I really loved to see his face whenever he managed to surprise me. Because he was happy whenever I was and vise versa. "But it’s our day today!", Jongin snapped out of his trance and caused me to smile brightly once again. I lifted my arms in defeat, trying to soothe him. "I know, I know", I responded and stepped closer, placing both of my hands on his cheeks. "And I’m glad you’re here. And I’m really, really glad that you’re not a thief!", I laughed and nudged the tip of his nose with my index finger before doing the same with the tip of my nose as well. Jongin chuckled quietly and I couldn’t help but to get reminded of a little five year old boy. 

"But I am a thief, too", Jongin suddenly said, his soft and deep voice chasing the silence away. I looked at him with questioning eyes but already knew the answer when he began to grin. I opened my mouth, ready to tell him that there was no need to say his upcoming words out loud. But I was too slow. "I stole your heart", Jongin added and began to snort with laughter, shaking his shoulders in rhythym with the sounds he made. I scrunched my nose and sighed dramatically, acting like this was too much. I felt like hitting his chest again. But as soon as I lifted my arms, Jongin’s fingers were wrapped around my wrists, forcing me to stay still before he pulled me closer and caused me to collide with his chest instead, my nose almost pressed into the buttons of his shirt.

Jongin was resting his chin on top of my head and I swear I could have stayed like this forever. “Do you want to have your present?”, Jongin asked while I placed my arms around his waist, holding him close for as long as possible, before he had to leave once again. All I did was to hum in response, hoping that moment would never end. I was afraid Jongin had to break apart in order to give me the present he was talking about. But nothing like this ever happened. I opened my eyes after some seconds of silence went by. And all he did was to tap against his chest. Another cheesy line of his? "It’s in there", Jongin gave me a little hint and only now I recognized that he wasn’t tapping his chest in particular. He was signalising me to open the little pocket that was a part of his shirt. The present was fitting in there?

I decided to lift my head from his chest, letting go of his waist, curiousity winning over closeness. I tiptoed as I reached into the pocket, my fingers finding nothing else than a little paper. I pulled it out of the pocket and unfolded it. “Taaadaaa?”, I read out loud, not able to understand what kind of present this was. Before I could ask about this Jongin turned around and cutely wiggled his butt. What was he doing? I laughed mutely as he pointed at one of the back-pockets of his pants. Did he really want me to… Okay. It’s not like I’ve never touched his butt before. I reached into that pocket as well, only discovering another paper. It’s not here! Seriously?

Jongin turned around, smirking like everything he wanted to do was to tease me. “It’s in here”, he said while pointing at the pocket at the front of his pants. Slowly I grew impatient as Jongin raised his index finger, getting a hold of my wrist again before I could reach into that pocket as well. “You know… I didn’t have that much time, right?” I nodded. "So… I couldn’t get you something bigger." I nodded again, signalising him that it was okay. "But I will get you another one once I am back, huh?" I nodded, even though there was no need to. Every gift from Jongin was something special, no matter how small it was.

Jongin let go of my hand and stepped closer, lowering his head and still looking at me through his eyelashes. God, he was so beautiful. I reached into that pocket as well and…

But there was nothing. I raised my eyebrows and searched for his eyes. Jongin gave me a confused look, reflecting my own expression. “What’s wrong?”, he asked. "It’s empty", I answered, my hand still in his pocket. Jongin’s eyes got bigger. “No, I put in there just before you tried to kill me.” "But there is nothing!", I said, my voice getting louder with every word that left my mouth. Was he trying to fool me? Jongin sighed and I pulled my hand out of his pocket. He was trying to fool me. "Maybe it’s just got stuck…" He hid his own hand in his pocket just to show me that I was wrong, that there still was something hidden in there. His expression changed, he was satisfied. I looked down at his hand, slowly pulling out of his pocket.

"You have to accept it, no matter what!", Jongin demanded, waiting for my answer. "I will", I sighed. I just wanted to see what it was. He made a cute drumming sound with his mouth as he pulled his hand out of his pocket, causing my heart to beat faster in aticipation.

Jongin began to laugh, holding up his hand. And I was… To be honest, I was somehow dumbfounded in the very first few seconds, just looking at his hand, showing no sign of response. Did he really just… This… I lowered my head, shaking it. How… "You said you will accept it", Jongin said quietly, like really quiet, moving his hand until it was right in front of my nose. Tears began to fill my eyes. Not because I was disappointed. I was moved. Jongin just came here, even though he didn’t have the time, just to celebrate this day with me - Valentine’s Day and our anniversary at the same time. And even though he had no time to buy a present, which wasn’t that important, he thought about something like this. All he pulled out of his pocket were his fingers, his thumb and index finger pressed together, forming a little heart. Knowing each other for more than seven years… Dating for four years now and I still wasn’t able to get used to things like this, to his simple actions, the cute things that turned him into my Jongin once again. 

"I…" I sniffed quietly, hoping he wasn’t able to hear it. But of course he did. "A-a-a-are you crying?", Jongin stumbled over his own words, lowering his head as well, trying to meet my eyes. "I-I-I didn’t mean t-to… Hey… Don’t…" I lifted my head, some hot tears making their way down my cheeks. "I’m sorry…", Jongin whispered. I shook my head. There was nothing to feel sorry about. He didn’t do anything wrong. He was giving his love to me instead. And that was much more worth than anything else would ever be. And that was all I ever needed. "No", I said in between my quiet sobs.

"I… I… will get you a proper gift when I…" "No!", I interrupted Jongin, causing him to look at me like a little boy that just had lost his favourite toy. "No… No. No. You don’t need to!" I stepped closer and once again wrapped my arms around his waist, my favourite teddybear. I hid my face in the crook of his neck, placing my nose against the soft skin there, inhaling his scent. Jongin slowly wrapped his arms around my upper body, only pressing me closer to his own body. He leaned his head against mine, his chin meeting my temple. “Thank you”, I whispered and I was meaning it. "Why are you crying then?" His voice soothed me, his closeness made me feel comfortable. "I guess… Maybe I was just missing you too much." "There is no too much”, I could hear that Jongin was smiling. And in the next second he planted a soft, a short kiss on my temple. “But one thing is still missing.”

I smiled faintly into the fabric of his shirt. This time I knew what was coming next, what was going to happen. Because it happened every year. He never forgot about it. And I hoped he never would forget to do it in the future as well. Jongin lowered his head next to mine for just a little bit until his lips were next to my ear. Nobody would ever hear this words except for me, he promised a long time ago. "I am your Valentine this year", he whispered, causing my whole body to shiver. "Will you be mine?" I tightened my grip around his waist. "I will. For the next 365 days", I promised, ready for that warm feeling to crawl through my whole body.

"You have to sign the contract!" Jongin almost let go of me, lifiting only one of his arms, waiting for me to do the same while holding up his pinky. I linked mine with his own. "Part 2!", Jongin instructed and raised both of our hands, pinkies still intertwined, as I pulled away. The two of us moved closer and we both planted a kiss onto the pinky of the other one. Jongin smiled at me. "Part 3!" He let go of my hand, placing his hands on my cheeks for another time, his forehead resting against mine. "I love you!" I began to smile as well and moved my hands until they were laying on his arms. “I love you, too!” "Sign it." "You first!", I demanded and closed my eyes as his lips found mine. Sighing I invited him to be a part of me~~

[golden-aaurora]

Come Closer - Kai Scenario

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Come Closer - Kai Scenario

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So it was like this. Of course it hat to be like this. I tried to concentrate on my surroundings without opening my eyes. It seemed like it happened again and I forced myself not to sigh out loud. His chest was lifting and lowering in a steady rhythym. So he was still asleep, right? This meant I could open my eyes, just for a little bit. And so I did. My sight was confronted with his beautiful skin as soon as I opened them. His bare chest, his beautiful skin tone was all I could see in the first moment. My left arm hugging his waist, my head resting near his neck, my nose almost pressed against his skin. Our lower halves were covered with my favourite blanket.

I couldn’t help but to sigh mutely. Why did I could not be stronger for at least once? Why wasn’t I able to control my actions better? I made a grimace he would have laughed at if he would have been able to see it right in that moment and lifted my arm, that was laying around his waist. He began to move and a quiet groan escaped his mouth. One of his arm, the one that was holding me tight until now moved as well, pressing me only closer to his wam body. I didn’t dare to move for two, or maybe three seconds and even held my breath. Then he was back to being silent, still trapped in his dreamland. How would I ever be able to free myself out of his tight grip? And how would I ever be able to…

I bit my lower lip, not able to forget what had happened yesterday. So there was no other choice. I had to free myself. He wasn’t even allowed to hold me like this. Not now!

I lifted my head first, waiting for some seconds to hear if he again began to move. But nothing happened this time. So my arm got lifted next. I almost immediately felt the goosebumps crawling up my body because of the sudden loss of his warmth. You just sleep, I scoffed at him - In my head only, of course. No need to worry about me! I was about to turn around, but I had forgotten about his arm, still laying around my shoulders. He was trying to bring me back into my previous position, right next to him, while using his strength, even though he was still sleeping. I widened my eyes, held my breath again and looked down at him. At his angelic, beautiful, like it was drawn, stupid face. His eyes were still closed and that little pout on his mouth almost made me give in. But I couldn’t! No!

While supporting my weight on my elbow I grabbed his hand with mine and lifted it until I was able to lower my head out of his grip. I thought about it for some seconds. Should I place his arm softly on top of his chest in order not to wake him up or to just let his arm fall down in order to wake him up. I opened the first door, he was allowed to sleep for a little bit longer. Or maybe I just didn’t want to see his apologetic eyes, not now. I softly let go of his hand and turned around in the sheets. I was still tired. And I was still mad at him…

I turned around and grabbed the blanket, pulling on it until my whole body was covered with it, right up to my nose. I wasn’t willing to leave that cozy place yet. Everything was comfortable, everything was so warm. I looked through the window and saw nothing else than white. Yes, everything was so warm. Just some more minutes. Sooner or later I would decide to crawl out of the bed in order to make breakfast for us…

Oh no! I was still mad at him. There was no need for me to make breakfast for him! He could move his own butt if he was hungry this time. I huffed quietly, satisfied with my still lingering anger and tightened my grip around the soft fabric of my favourite blanket. Closing my eyes I inhaled  the tender scent and immediately wanted to scold myself. But I was still too tired.

Yesterday’s happenings weren’t that clear anymore and my mind was too drowsy to properly search for the words we used while we were fighting with each other. Again. I guess it was only a small thing that happened to lead to something bigger until the both of us were pouting, looking into different directions while crossing our arms in front of our chests. Everyone else was just looking at us, not daring to say anything because they didn’t want to be the next. Instead all nine of them clenched their teeth and surpressed their laughters, trying to regain their focus on the movie we were watching, all together.

I couldn’t remember the reasons for our little fight anymore. But I still knew that I was angry when I went to bed last night. And it felt like I had to be still angry when I woke up just a few minutes ago. The fact that my head was laying on top of his chest… Was just because I was used to it, because I actually wasn’t able to fall asleep when he wasn’t there, holding me. It just happened.

“It’s just because the two of you are still so young. Besides that, Jongin, it’s your first relationship. For the both of you. You have to make all those mistakes in order to learn and get better at things like this”, Joon Myeon once said, after one of our first fights. Jongin was so devastated that he had no idea what to do or how to react or to how to handle the situation or how to make me feel better. If wasn’t his fault only, but sometimes… Jongin wasn’t bad at showing me how much he loved me. But sometimes it was hard for him to find the right words. And sometimes it was hard for me to understand them the right way. We didn’t fight that much anymore now. But it still happened. From time to time.

“Do you think we will be still together when we have learned all those things? Because… I don’t want to fight with anyone else than Mi Yun”, Jongin answered back then and made the both of us, Joon Myeon and me, laugh - Even though I wasn’t meant to hear their conversation, so I had to cover my mouth with my hands. He was pouting at his older band member, nervously kneeding his hands. Joon Myeon only smiled and patted my boyfriend’s back softly, trying to soothe him. And then he began to smile. “Just make sure that she won’t be angry at you anymore the next time you’re going to meet her. And never be too proud to admit that you were the one at fault. If you really do love Mi Yun a lot then she will stay with you. Just show her all of your affection every now and then, at least once a day.”

I smiled as I remembered that moment, pressing the blanket closer to my nose. Everything smelled like him. Everything felt like him. He was everywhere. Just like I wanted him to be. I wanted Jongin to be everywhere. In all of my thoughts, all the things I was doing, all the words I was saying. I wanted Jongin to be my smile, my voice and my happiness… Wait, I was still…

No, actually I wasn’t mad anymore. I just couldn’t. He was still Jongin. My Jongin! My toes began to curl themselves without me even wanting it. Two years and those butterflies were still there. And even worse. They seemed to double themselves with every day that passed by.

His scent, that was lingering on the blanket, was crawling into my nose, blurring my senses. As my heart began to beat faster I made an decision. A decision that couldn’t be easier to be made. I wanted to turn around to be able to face him, to smile at him when he was about to wake up and to tell him that I love him - To softly stroke the skin of his cheek with my own hand, stroking some strands of his hair out of his sight - To kiss the tip of his nose and to bury my own nose into his chest after that. I wanted Jongin to say something, anything. Just the sound of his voice would be enough to make me happy.

I wanted to turn around but didn’t dare to move before I could even lift my arm. Someone grabbed me from behind, placed his arm around my waist and pulled me closer - Almost caused me to squeak quietly. I closed my eyes and bit my lower lip, holding onto the blanket like my life was depending on it. My back bumped against his bare chest and his nose was pressed into the back of my neck.

A quiet sigh escaped his mouth, once again, and his hot breath caused me to giggle quietly. I didn’t even want to… "Hey." His voice was so deep, so lulling, so making me dizzy. But still it was so quiet. Jongin was waiting for me to say or to do something to see if I was still mad at him. I wasn’t. Really! But he was the cutest when he was trying to apologize. I swallowed down the words as soon as they appeared in my mind and tried to hide my face in the blanket, as good as even possible.

A quiet, dissatisfied grunt rumbled through his chest and he only tightened his grip around my waist. This was his way of telling me how sorry he was - There was no way of escaping. Jongin was way too strong for me to fight against him. Even if I wanted to answer his question now I couldn’t. His grip was too tight, causing almost all of the air in my lungs to leave at once. I felt like a little child in his arms. Too weak to even stay mad at him.

All I could do was to move my arm and to press my elbow into his chest, ready to push him away if I had to. "Don’t be mad at me anymore…", Jongin whispered right next to my ear and I could hear that he was slightly pouting. His strongest weapon against me. "Pleeeease", he begged, trying to act cute. And then everything stopped, everything at once.

Another growl interrupted the almost peaceful silence and I lifted my eyebrows. Jongin let go of me and rolled himself onto his back, staying like this for maybe about ten seconds. I slowly turned my head to see what was wrong.

Jongin turned away from me, his back facing me now and I opened my mouth, afraid he was mad at me now. But instead he opened the drawer of the little nightstand that was standing right next to his bed, searching for something without even lifting his head. I slowly sat up behind his back, still holding onto the blanket. And in the next second I heard the sound of paper that got ripped.

What… I moved a little bit closer to Jongin, too curioous, not able to just ignore this.

"Woah!", I almost screamed. "I can’t believe you’re doing this! Right now? Seriously?" Jongin turned around, his eyes widened because he was startled, his cheeks filled with… With chocolate. He didn’t even dare to chew anymore. Instead he just lifted his hand, the one he was holding the rest of the chocolate bar with, trying to offer me some.

I waited for five seconds, trying to swallow down the new arrival of anger. But I couldn’t help it. I grabbed the pillow his head was still resting on and punched his oh-so-beautiful-face with it. “How old are you? Twelve?” And I hit him again.

"They’re at it again!", Chanyeol yelled as he left the room. I absolutely forgot about him and… Kyungsoo said nothing, just waved goodbye as he closed the door behind his back.

Jongin grabbed the chance as long as I was distracted and grabbed the pillow out of my hands, causing me to look at him in disbelief. His eyes were still widened, like he was trying to look innocent, while he swallowed the chocolate down. “I didn’t have dinner last night and…”

I only yelped like I was the person that got hit by the pillow before and threw myself back into the sheets, my back facing him of course, crossing my arms in front of my chest. His arm was back around my waist the next seond, the chocolate still in his hand. I lowered my head, eyeing the enemy angrily. Jongin let go of the bar as soon as he felt my eyes lingering on his hand and the chocolate made a soft plopp! as it fell to the ground.

"Mi Yun, I’m sorry", he said while almost crawling on top of me, even though I was still lying on my side. I felt like I was going to get squashed by him. His face was near mine, his head hovering over mine. "Go away!", I answered annoyed and feeling uncomfortable.

That was when he absolutely did it on purpose and I began to clench my hands into tight fists, ready to punch his chest with all the strength I had. Jongin began to pout, on purpose. “Yuuuunie~”, he whined, waiting for me to turn onto my back (because yes, this was really uncomfortable!) before he squashed me fully, placing his weight completely on top of my body - Only supporting himself with his elbows left and right my head.

"Goo away!", I repeated my own words and turned my head to the right, not willing to look at him while he was pouting. Jongin pressed the tip of his nose against my cheek, trying to playfully nudge me. "Yuuuuunie~"

"No!", I pressed out through my clenched teeth, not able to stay strong that much longer. I placed my hand on his cheek, trying to softly push his head away. But Jongin stayed persistent, planting a small kiss on my cheek before again drawing little circles there with the tip his nose. His hands found my waist once again and… I forced myself not to scream, only tried to wiggle myself out of his grip as he began to tickle me. For six, maybe seven seconds only. But it was enough to smash that little wall I had build around myself to keep him on distance.

"I… Stop it! Please… Aaaah… Stop!" "Don’t be mad at me anymore!", Jongin said, positioning his hands at my waist for another time, for another round. And then our eyes met for the first time this morning and I knew I had lost. They were looking right into my soul and this warm feeling, that feeling I loved so much, was back. And even though he was still so tired, his eyes so puffy and small, I could see my future in them. And only in them. "Are you still mad at me?", his voice was like a soft melody that was playing quietly, or like honey. I broke the eye-contact just to look at his lips. Those lips I would die without. Those really…

I slighty began to smile as I lifted my hand, my thumb brushing over his soft lower lip the next second. How could I stay mad at him for more than two minutes? When he still was such a little boy, with some chocolate smeared across his lips… "Come closer", I whispered, still smiling. "You won’t hit me again, right?" "Just come closer!", I demanded and giggled quietly when he placed his lips on my own, completely tasting like chocolate~~

[golden-aaurora]

Marshmellow-Kisses (Kai Scenario)

i don’t know what happened. i was just in the mood to write something really fluffy.

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Marshmellow-Kisses - Kai Scenario

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I believed in everything he said when we still were little kids - That cotton candy was made of marshmellow powder (obviously not), that coffee was this dark because of licorice (I never drank coffee again), or that it would be delicious to eat potatoes covered with chocolate (you have to try it yourself). He didn’t make fun of me when I confronted him with the details. Because yes, I’ve tried everything. He just began to laugh every time I looked at him with a hint of annoyance in my eyes. His shoulders shaking, quiet laughing noises escaping his mouth and his eyes scrunching together - The cutest eye-smile I have ever seen. I fell in love with him when I was six years old, when he brought me a pink cupcake as birthday present and said I would find something special in it. That time he wasn’t telling any stories, nor did he try to make a fool out of me. As soon as I took the cupcake out of the paper I found a ring, simple and thin, but with a cute little heart in the middle.

Everything changed back then. I didn’t look at him like he was my older brother anymore. He was the boy I wanted to marry when I was grown up and old enough to marry. He suddenly became that boy that made me smile like an idiot whenever he told a bad joke and made my stomach tingle whenever our eyes met. And Jongin changed as well - He got protective, was waiting for me everyday so that we could go home together after school had ended. He didn’t like it when other boys were talking to me, even though some of them only asked simple questions. His face was the funniest whenever he got jealous. He tried not to show any evidence of jealousy but everyone could sense it right away. He was just staring at that person that was talking to me until the person felt stares boring through his back, right into his soul.

I sighed quietly and smiled at the plush toy I was holding in my hands, sitting in my lap and looking up at me with his buttonlike-eyes. His rabbit ears were folded cutely, his piggy-nose making me giggle like a little girl. I nudged its nose with my index finger before I began to pout slightly. What was taking him so long? My eyes were searching through the tiny café. It was cozy, it was warm and it was our sanctuary. It was raining heavily, loud thunderclaps were making me flinch every now and then. My hair was still wet, hanging down my shoulders in strands and my legs were still shaking. It was my own fault for not watching the weather forecast this morning. Wearing a short skirt was not the best idea.

The café was comfortable, I immediately felt safe, almost at home. Everything was different from each other. A lot of armchairs were standing in the huge room, but none of them were similiar. Just like the tables. The wall was filled with old photos. Some were black and white, some where colorful. Flowers, couples, some snapshots of Seoul. I was sitting in a white armchair, decorated with lots of flowers, roses. Jongin was inspecting all of them some minutes ago, when we entered the café, and decided this one was the most beautiful. The girl with the white sweater and the pastel-pink skirt was sitting on a white-pinkish armchair, holding a white doll with a pink nose.

Jongin was still standing at the counter, laughing with the elder lady behind it. Except for us three, no one else was here. Everyone else stayed at home, just like the forecast told them to. He was so handsome, even though there were maybe about 10 metres laying in between us and I only could see his sideprofile. Even though the weather was crappy and ruined our date - Jongin was still happy, still laughing. Just like I was. A big smile was playing with the corners of my mouth and I immediately turned my head to the window right next to me. The streets were really looking pitiful, like it was already late afternoon. I looked down at the watch around my wrist, 13:27.

"Don’t you dare to love that plushie more than me!" His voice snapped me out of my thoughts as he placed two cups on the table in front of me, before plopping down into the armchair on the opposite, so we were able to face each other. I was still holding the plush toy, now tightly pressed against my stomach. I looked down for a second and then at him. We never talked about that before. About loving each other. I may fell for him when I was still a little girl. But still… We only started dating some months ago and everything changed for another time. It got awkward. We couldn’t even look at each other when we had our first date, at a amusement park. It got better, slowly, little by little. And at least we were able to tell each other a good night after he brought me back home. It was awkward at first when he smiled at me, because now we where dating. It was awkward when we were holding hands for the first time, because now we were dating. And it was awkward when he hugged me for the first time or kissed my cheek the last time, because now we were dating. Everything was different, felt new, surprising and exciting. We were dating for three months now. Jongin was the one to make the first step. Jongin was the one asking me out after he finally could gather all of his courage. It just took us… thirteen years. That’s nothing, really. And now he was my first boyfriend. And I was his first girlfriend. We both had no idea how to date. But it still felt right. It felt good. This was our own pace. We were doing those little things whenever we felt like it was time to make another step.

Jongin loudly cleared his throat, trying to cover up his last words, and then blew some air through his bangs - Even though his hair was still wet as well. I couldn’t help but to feel jealous. Everything was still in place, every little strand, except for that single one, that was stubbornly hanging in front of his forehead. It was cute and I smiled again while nervously fumbling with the soft ribbon around the pig-rabbit-doll. Jongin took his cup, trying to focus his eyes somwhere else and took a sip. Maybe it was time. Time to take the next step. But the both of us were still so shy around each other, so careful, so afraid to make a mistake or to rush things.

I grabbed my cup as well. A hot chocolate with whipped cream on top. Jongin had marshmellows, I didn’t. But before I could even feel disappointed I saw some white and pink sugar hearts covering the whipped cream. He just made me feel like a princess whenever he had the chance to. I was about to take a sip when Jongin began to speak again. "Are you sure you didn’t catch a cold? Maybe… Should I take you home?", he asked, looking up through his long eyelashes, eyes somehow bigger than they were usually. We were still practicing dating. But I already knew it would break his heart if I said yes. And by the way… I felt good, everything was okay. I smiled and shook my head, before taking the long awaited sip from my hot chocolate. The warmth of my drink was spreading through my body almost immediately and I sighed relieved. "I’m okay", I finally answered and smiled brightly just to see him smile as well. And my heart skipped a beat when he gave me that breathtaking smile of his. Jongin nodded happily until another idea crossed his mind.

"You’re so far away!" He was pouting slightly even though he was only talking and I still think this is the most adorable thing he does without even knowing it. "Don’t you want to come over?", Jongin asked, patting the space besides him. He tried to act calm but I still could sense the shyness in his voice. He was unsure if this was the right thing to ask. And for a second I bit my lower lip until I made the decision, almost immediately. His armchair was made for two, so we both could perfectly fit there and I maybe could rest my head on his shoulder. Just like that one time when we were at the cinema and I couldn’t help it anymore. Nothing could outshine that moment, when I felt the unsteady lifting and lowering of his shoulders because he was so nervous. "I mean… Just…" But before Jongin could say anything else I was on my feet already, the plush toy he bought for me before still in my hands, and walked around the table just to plopp down the next second, right next to him.

It’s been a while since the last time we could spend a whole day together. It’s been a while since the last time he had a day off and none of his bandmembers was following us around. "This is better", Jongin said quietly and I wasn’t sure if I really was meant to hear it, so I didn’t say anything, only smiled. I wanted him to place his arm around my shoulders or to hug me or just to let me lean against him, acting like I was in need for some support. My heart wasn’t sure of what to do next. But just in that moment Jongin began to move until he was sitting sideways, his elbow resting on the backrest while his hand supported his head and he was watching at me. I could see it out of the corners of my eyes and curious I turned my head to look at him as well. I widened my eyes, hoping he would tell me what he was thinking about. But Jongin didn’t. He just smiled for a little while. And then his other grabbed mine, holding it tightly until our fingers were intertwined.

"Yuni.." "Yes?", I almost shouted at him, speaking louder than I had to because we still were alone. Jongin chuckled cutely and lowered his arm, that was resting on the backrest of the armchair before. My heart began to beat faster and I got afraid he may could hear it as well. His now free hand found its way to my cheek and I felt dizzy all of a sudden. He leaned in a little bit closer. "Do you want to learn something new?" I almost sighed - He was at it again. I would hear one of his theories again. But I had no other choice. The warmth of his hands was lulling my senses and let’s not talk about his sweet scent. I nodded. What would he try to make me believe this time? "Did you…", Jongin’s voice cracked and caused him to clear his throat once again. I looked at him with big eyes. "Did you know that…" His eyes trailed off and observed the café. Maybe he was looking for the lady that owned the café. But he still managed to softly stroke my cheek with his thumb.

And suddenly he looked back at me and he seemed to be closer than before. Then now his hot breath brushed my face and it felt like I was losing all of my senses or the ability to think properly or… "Did you know that marshmellow-kisses make your toes curl and your stomach flip and…" Jongin leaned in closer and lowered his voice. "… and that they will make you to think about me forever whenever you will eat marshmellows?" I gulped and shook my head, closing my eyes as he slowly closed the gap between our lips. And I think this was the first time he didn’t want to make fun of me. Everything Jongin said was true. My toes were about to curl, my stomach about to flip… He lightly pressed his soft lips against mine and it was so sweet yet so perfect. And I was afraid I might could fall if he would let go of my hand. But instead his fingers were holding onto mine, even tighter. And it maybe seemed like an eternity before he pulled away but I knew it were only seconds, maybe two or three.

The first… Our first kiss and I felt so light yet so out of my mind. I needed something to distract myself from my red cheeks, hoping they wouldn’t turn even redder. So I grabbed the cup that was standing right in front of me, it wasn’t even mine. It was the one filled with marshmellows and as soon as the sweet flavor reached my tongue it was back, that feeling. That warm feeling, even the scent. I gulped down the hot chocolate that was tasting like marshmellows and clenched my teeth. But I couldn’t force away the bright smile that bloomed only two seconds later and I almost rocked my legs back and forth like a little girl. I could feel Jongin looking at me. And I bet one of his eyebrows was raised. So I turned my head back to look at him - Jongin was of course looking at me with one raised eyebrow.

"That was mine", he giggled quietly, mischievously. "You could have at least asked and…" I couldn’t help but to interrupt Jongin. This time it was my turn. I didn’t lean closer - I almost fell into his arms, bumped against him and pressed my lips against his own. Okay, I have to admit, it was a little bit… forced. I was still unexperienced and too nervous. But I could feel Jongin smiling against my lips and it was perfect. Once again. Just because it was him. Because it were the both of us. It got easier with every second that passed. I just had this feeling… The feeling that told me what to do and how to do it. And I never wanted this feeling to stop. I never wanted this moment to end. But how to stop time? One of my hands found its way to his arm, just resting there at the beginning before searching for support. My mind absolutely went blank because all of that sweetness was back and I bet he was right. I would forever want to kiss him whenever something smelled or tasted like marshmellows. Jongin was pulling me closer with one of his hands in my neck until there was no more space left in between us. Was it possible to lose your consciousness while kissing the person you loved the most? Because it really felt like I was so close to…

"Excuse me…", a voice startled the both of us and we let go of each other faster than we gathered the courage to kiss each other. Both of our heads lowered until the lady began to laugh. "I thought you might could be hungry… Share some waffles, hmm? It’s on the house", she said before turning around, giggling. "Young love", she wispered and we both had no idea if we were meant to hear it, nor were we able to look at each other. Back to being awkward~~

[golden-aaurora]

Hold on tight - Kai Scenario

this isn’t anything special. just some fluff i had in my mind for some days now. enjoy reading it. it isn’t long, just a short moment.

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Hold on tight - Kai Scenario

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It was uncomfortable at first. Like there wasn’t enough space for the both of us. Our legs were somehow tangled, like we were fighting with each other. Like those stupid little fights, like two kids that were trying to find out which one was the strongest one. Scuffling, scrambling, rolling around on the floor until the first one couldn’t take it anymore, until the first one gave up and let the friend win. But right now we weren’t moving. Maybe just a little bit. Well, breathing was still neccessary. But except for that we were not moving in order not to make it more uncomfortable. And still it was kinda comforting, soothing, spending strength even though I was about to fall asleep. I began to wonder if it even was possible to sleep like this - Wouldn’t everything hurt if we spent too much time in that kind of position? I bet my butt would hurt because the ground I was sitting on was way too hard. His back would hurt as well, because this wasn’t a position you should stay in for too long. And maybe we would freeze because we were stupid enough to fall asleep like this.

I took a deep breath, causing his arms to tighten around my upper body. He was still holding me close. The gentle music was way too quiet for me to honestly care for it. And except for the little noises the two of us made whenever we were sighing or laughing quietly nothing else was heard. It was silent. Just the way we wanted it to be. No one was there to disturb us, no one to barge in like they always did. No one was at the dorm to ask stupid question they already knew the answers to. There could break a storm free outside. I wouldn’t care for it. All that mattered was right here, right now. I was with him and he enjoyed it just as much as I did. His breathing was slow as well, his embrace still tight. I tried to lean back further but there was no space left anymore. We were already glued together. Not even a simple and thin paper could make its way in between our bodies. It felt like we were one. He was my end. And I was his beginning.

I managed to move slightly, causing his chest to rise a little faster this time. Maybe he got interrupted in his quiet daydream, somehow startled, forced to open his eyes to see what I was doing. The muscles of Jongin’s chest were tensing, only for a little bit. I smiled faintly, tilted my head before I turned it into the direction of his own, meeting the soft skin of his neck with the tip of my nose, nuzzling like I was a little kid that was searching for its favourite scent. And there it was. The scent I never would be able to forget. The smell that always greeted me whenever I was near a candy shop, or when a little kid was eating a pink cotton candy. It reminded me of sweet candy canes, making Christmas feel like Christmas, like home. I wanted to turn around, to wrap my arms around his waist and force him to stay still. Because all I wanted to do was to take in more of that scent he couldn’t wash away. It was there and it always would be.

Jongin turned his head as well until his lips were near my ear. I could hear his quiet breathing and it seemed like he was chuckling mutely. His chest was lifting and lowering itself faster than it did before for the blink of an eye. Of course he was chuckling. He knew how weak I was. How weak I got whenever his scent was filling my nose and all of my senses, causing me to forget everything around me, everyone around me.

I lifted one of my hands and broke through the surface of the hot water that was heavier than any blanket. I placed my fingertips on top of his arm, letting them wander around for a little bit. The skin on his arm was just as soft as where my head was still resting, my eyes still closed. And under the tips of my fingers I could feel the thin and soft hairs living there and something else. I slowly opened my eyes and moved my head, signalising him to do the same. Jongin didn’t open his eyes fully, just a little to be able to look down at me, to follow my movements. I looked at his arm and bit my lower lip, trying to keep myself from laughing quietly. He has gotten goosebumps. Even though he was taking a hot bath. With me.

But before I could say anyhing, to tease him like I always did, his hot breath was brushing the skin of my neck, causing me to shudder which was even worse than to have goosebumps. My fingers weren’t walking across his skin anymore, they were holding onto his arm like I was searching for some kind of support in order not to collapse - Which wasn’t possible. Because actually…

Actually he didn’t even want to take a bath. All he wanted to do today was to sleep. To lay in bed and stay lazy. He whined like a little child when I dared to softly wake him up this morning. After he had slept for about already thirteen hours. Yes, I was bored. And yes, it always had been fun to wake him up - Because he always was the cutest to watch when he tiredly rubbed his eyes and pouted cutely. And besides that I wanted to spend some time with him, on his day off. But Jongin kept saying he was too tired, he had trained a little bit too much yesterday. But as his girlfriend… This wasn’t my problem. He wasn’t hurt. He was just tired. So he could be tired everywhere else as well. This was his idea. Taking a bath together. For the first time. And luckily we were alone. Everyone else would just have teased us like they were only five years old and had no idea what could happen in this kind of relationship. Besides that, Jongin wasn’t even the first of them to have a girlfriend. But he was the youngest to have a girlfriend, the youngest when we started to date. He almost was the youngest among them and that’s why everything he did is cute and everyone keeps laughing about him. And after Jongin had that idea he tried his best to even set an atmosphere, placed a candle here and one there, turned on the quiet music and used way too much bubblebath, until the water had turned pink completely and almost the whole bathroom was covered in fluffy white bubbles. Jongin did everything to stay tired. He rubbed his eyes when I woke him up earlier. He rubbed his eyes when he was about to turn the water on. He rubbed his eyes when he was adding the bubblebath. And he scratched the back of his head when I began to laugh because it was too much. He was an hopeless romantic, even more when he was tired.

Jongin was still tired. But at least he was clean now.

I got reminded of his hot breath brushing the back of my neck when he pressed the tip of his nose into my skin now. I wanted to protest but as I felt his lips kissing my neck I got soft, melted and gave in. Jongin leaned in closer until we were one again, until his lips were near my ear once again.

"I miss you", I heard his quiet, still drowsy voice. It was so deep, lulling me in some kind of trance, making me his, completely. He kissed that spot right behind my ear, tickled a sensitive spot and almost caused me to jump out of the bathtub. But something held me back. That something he just had said. Because he wasn’t talking that much today. But what was that?

"Stupid… I’m here", I answered and opened my eyes, turning my head once again in order to look at him. He was so close, the tip of his nose softly bumping against my cheek. His eyelashes, my eyelashes… I couldn’t even tell aynmore and the beating of my heart got faster the longer we stayed like this - His arms still wrapped around me, our breaths intertwined.

"But I’m sorry", he whispered. "I’m sorry because I’m not here more often." He was right. And even though I wanted to spend more time with him I was living for moments like this. I was working part-time, what a pleasant distraction, I did some housework and went to college. I was meeting friends and studied. And I did all that for moments like this. "And there are days where I miss you so much." Was his voice trembling? Or was I dreaming? Jongin lifted one of his arms and it immediately got cold where his skin wasn’t pressed against mine anymore. But in the next second my cheeks began to heat up - And I was glad he was so close, so he couldn’t see the pink that was painting my cheeks. His hand was resting on my cheek for a little while, his thumb softly stroking it until I turned my head into his touch, my stomach filled with thousands of butterflies. I really wanted to turn around. But that damn bathtub was too small. I had no other choice. Jongin’s eyelashes were softly fluttering against my cheeks and I closed my eyes for another time.

His soft lips were pressed against my own. And if this was what heaven felt like I wouldn’t have any regrets staying there forever. With him, of course. Even his kiss was tired. But I loved those kisses as well. I loved all sorts of kisses. As long as it was him kissing me. Jongin didn’t think of letting go of me anytime soon, only deepened his lazy kiss a little more until it got hard for me to breathe. Not because the kiss was too long. It was so simple. Everything Jongin did… He was breahtaking, in every possible way. I was stunned when he was smiling. I was amazed when he was dancing. I was breathless when he was so close. Because actually I didn’t need to breathe for real. I was breathing him in like he was the air I needed. Like the only thing I needed was him. I wanted to cry sometimes, in this kind of moments. Not because I was sad. I was just overwhelmed because I loved him so much. And it felt like an eternity, even though it wasn’t long enough, as Jongin pulled away. Slowly. His lips still meeting mine, slightly.

"As long as you’re holding me tight like this…", I smiled against his lips. "It will be okay. Always." Jongin leaned back, and I think now was the first time that we were looking at each other for the past twenty minutes. Our eyes met and I almost began to laugh. How could someone stay tired that long after he had woken up? Still so puffy I felt like pinching his cheeks.

"I will always hold you tight", he promised. "Just like this!", he added before he pulled me closer once again, holding me so close breathing became hard, but for different reasons this time. But still I couldn’t help but to start chuckling. Jongin always has been the cutest when he was like this, when he didn’t even try to be cute, when it happened randomly. The position I was in right now wasn’t very comfortable. But it didn’t matter. I placed my cheek against his chest, together with one of my hands and let him hold me. I just had started to draw little circles onto his chest when a loud BAAAANG! startled the both of us. It almost felt like I was able to hear Jongin’s loud heartbeat as well as he slowly lowered his arms and the both of us faced the door of the bathroom.

"Joon Myun! I think they’re in here. Together!" It was Sehun’s voice, a mixture of being in a rush and wanting to mock us. “Hey, Jongin!”, he shouted even louder this time, his hand still banging against the door. “It’s against the rules to lock the doors! And I really have to… You know!”

Jongin leaned back, pulling me with him. I sighed and poked my index finger through the soft bubbles, still not willing to go away. “Use the other bathroom then”, Jongin answered while shouting back, his arms resting on the edges of the bathtub.

"But… Tao is using it", Sehun whined, causing Jongin to chuckle. He seemed to enjoy teasing his friend. After all it was just a matter of time until he would tease back. So… Why not enjoying it as long as it was possible?

"The water is still hot enough, right?", Jongin asked, the volume of his voice now lowered. I raised my eyebrows. "Huh?" He laughed quietly and began to brush my hair behind my ear, stroking my head softly, trying to bring me back into my trance. "Just let him wait and ignore them as long as the water is hot enough."

I was okay with that. Absolutely~~

[golden-aaurora]

Kiss the rain - Kai Scenario

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i wrote the first half of that one when i was sitting on the plane, back from seoul to germany.. this got so long, but still i felt good writing this one. because i really missed writing. and there are some very personal details hidden in it. please enjoy reading it :3

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(credit for the gif goes to kaismypeterpan)

Kiss the rain - Kai Scenario

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Again. Of course it had to happen again. Of course he was going to make it worse. Without even knowing it. Again. A small smile was playing with the corners of his mouth, making him look like the most beautiful piece of art. And indeed he was. Everything seemed to be perfect. But even better. He was almost perfect. Every little flaw, every little imperfection was made for me to fall for him. I tried my best not to sigh or even worse - I tried my best not to reach out my hand, to touch his face with my fingers. I always catched myself wanting to draw along the lines of his beautiful lips or wanting to rest my hands on his warm cheeks. That was all I ever wanted to do - To feel him, to have him close. I grabbed the pillow that was right  next to me, holding it so close pressed against my stomach like my life was depending on it.  Not now! My lips were forming a thin line and I held my breath. I just had to wait for six seconds, maybe seven or eight. I knew it would get better then. Three… No, don’t do that, please! No, don’t wrinkle your nose cutely like that! Okay. One, two, three, four… My hands were already sweating, my fingers digging themselves into the soft fabric of the pillow. Five, six, seven, eight… Wait! No! Something seemed to be wrong. It wasn’t working. I surpressed the urge to close my eyes and to shake my head. Instead I decided to wiggle my toes right under the table, where he wasn’t able to see it, moving my feet along to the imaginary rhythym in my head. But instead he felt it when my left foot just bumped against his own. I immediately stopped moving, not able to look at him, not now. So I forced myself to stare right at the television that was standing at the other end of the room. But Jongin thought it would help to turn his head into my direction, looking at me while still smiling brightly, and I was hoping  my cheeks weren’t painted in a dark red already. It was one of those days, one of those rare moments he didn’t have any schedule, no interview or dance practice or photoshoot. It was his day off. The first one after a long, long time. I lost track of it, stopped counting. But maybe it has been ten weeks? Or eleven? So today he wanted to do nothing. And it was the best to be lazy together. That’s what he said. He didn’t ask if anything was wrong. Because actually it wasn’t. Not for him. And if I had the courage… Everything could be fine for me as well. Jongin just grinned at me and I was about to melt and to slowly drop down onto the ground. But in the next second I wasn’t able to move anymore. He placed his head right on top of my shoulder, made it hard for me to breathe properly, causing my heart to skip a beat. And another… His soft scent filled my nose, but this time I finally was able to close my eyes. He couldn’t see it right now. I had to stop this! But at first I had to save that moment in my memories. Forever. I forgot about the movie we were watching and tried not to squeak when he took my hand into his own, playing with my fingers, absentmindedly, like he always did. He changed his cologne some weeks ago. I liked this one better. It was sweet, kinda playful, tender. It was Jongin. It somehow reminded me of cotton candy, with a hint of mint - Just because he drank some mint chocolate before he came. Without bringing one for me as well. Of course! I smiled slightly, about to turn my head closer to his as he began to giggle quietly, snapping me out of my trance, back into reality. I really wanted this to be the last time…

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"… even though I feel good when I am with him." Alice just needed to give me that one look. "At least most of the time", I added, slouching my shoulders and holding the cup with both of my hands. Hot chocolate, with marshmellows. Exactly what I needed the most in moments like this. After all I was not in the best mood right now. "Feeling good sometimes is the one thing, Yubi. But for how many more times do you want to have a conversation like this? For how many more times do you want to sit here, drink a hot chocolate and be depressed because you can’t take it anymore?" And even though I wasn’t looking at Alice, my older friend by three years, I knew she was observing me carefully, me and my reactions to her words. I knew that she was right, because she was every time. Being Alice’s best friend never had been difficult. Alice was able to read my face, to sense my mood and to feel my emotions by just looking at me. Being Alice’s best friend never had been that difficult like it was right now. There absolutely was no possibility to have any secrets. And even when we were not together, I sometimes got text messages regarding my feelings, like she had some weird connection, leading straight to my heart. My best friend sighed dramatically, causing me to look up at her, one eyebrow raised. "For how many times did you actually try to tell him? And for how many times did he hurt you without wanting it?", Alice asked those questions again. The questions I hated the most. The questions that were only asked to show me the sad reality, my own misery. "For how many more times do you want to cry?" I again looked down at my cup, at the already soaked marshmellows. That strange feeling was back. Because I knew there were only two possible options. One was to gather all of my courage, confess to him and in the worst case to get rejected. The second option was to just let him go. And maybe that was the best thing I could do. After all the fear of getting rejected was too big, eating me alive. Sooner or later we were meant to leave things or persons behind that weren’t able to make us happy anymore. In order to feel better some day. After some days went by, months, maybe years. Time does heal wounds after all, right? "I will ask you again - For how many times did you fail to make yourself a happier person?" I bit my lower lip and remembered those times. Those times I’ve cried myself into a too light sleep at night. Those times I’ve walked through the streets of Seoul, lost in my own thoughts. "About three times?", I answered quietly, more like asking her a question, afraid of her upcoming words. "Right! Three times! Don’t you think that’s enough?" Alice took a sip of her green tea and looked at me over the lip of her cup. A look into her round brown eyes and I knew the answer, my heart cramping together for another time, causing me to sigh deeply. "You were about to tell him about your feelings when he was about to head to Germany the first time, right?" I nodded. "The second time was when he was unfortunately preparing for his comeback, right?" I nodded. "And the third time was only a few days ago, right? When he had an upcoming and very important concert overseas. Beijing, right?" Alice placed her cup back on the table and began to study the menu for another time - At days like this she could drink about three drinks - But she never left the conversation. "Am I right?", she asked, supporting her head with one of her hands, her elbow resting on the table. "Yes", I sighed in defeat. "And… don’t get me wrong! You know I actually really like Jongin, because for fifteen years he has been your whole life and there never was a Yubi without a Jongin. You were like his sun - Always rotating around him - But wasn’t he always too busy, too tired or too moody to actually listen to you?" I sighed again and leaned back in my seat, letting go of my cup. "You already know what you’re going to do, Yubi. No one needs to help you to make your decision. You’re just afraid because you don’t know how you are going to feel when he is not with you anymore." Exactly. Alice just managed to come right to the point. "I miss those days where he managed to make me happy without even trying it. When he didn’t need to try", I said, tears already filling my eyes. And this time it was Alice’s turn to nod. "But the thing is… Does he make you happy right now? Or will he ever be able to make you happy in the future - When you’re not able to ever tell him?" She stood up and tapped her index finger onto the table. "You can’t run into someone’s arms and stay there crying forever when you’re going to miss that someone that might will be able to make you smile again one day!" And with that Alice left the table. "One iced tea, please. Peach!"

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It wasn’t even a break-up, because we actually never dated or were together in any other form. It always was just me - That sun rotating around that one planet it loved the most, that was the most beautiful in its eyes. That planet always would be bigger and stronger than the sun ever could be. And one day that sun stopped rotating and left that planet in the dark. I looked up at the sky. The wind was chilly, a few clouds were hanging here and there. But still it was a beautiful day in the midst of october. Only three days had passed but I felt sick. I was freezing all the time, about to cry whenever someone decided to speak to me. I was feeling empty, because my most precious treasure was missing. My warmth, my happiness, my planet. But it was my own fault. I’ve failed at keeping them - My warmth, my happiness, my planet. This wasn’t some kind of drama, no show you could happily watch on TV. This was the other way round, it was the real life. I wasn’t the heroine and Jongin wasn’t the jerk. Other than in a drama - Jongin was the idol, right - But even with growing success and popularity his personality didn’t change. And other than in a drama - Jongin didn’t forget the people he was loving before - He got more quiet, more careful but he never forgot about that life he had before. It was me instead. I was the person that slowly began to change. Just because my feelings had changed. I closed my eyes, let the wind play with my hair, causing it to almost run away in every possible direction. Somewhere near I could hear the old woman, selling her vegetables and fruits on the streets. I could hear all the cars and busses, some of the drivers were in a great hurry. The smell of fried chicken and kimchi was crawling up my nose. Those were only some of the things I would never forget - Just like I never would forget the sound of his voice. Or how beautiful he became when he was laughing. Or his sleeping figure on my couch when he was too exhausted to go home right after practice. That cute little pout on his lips when he was dreaming about something. There were so many memories I’d collected in those fifteen years. And all of them were so fresh, still new. Never would I forget our neighbours, that day I saw the three Kim-siblings for the first time. Three days and my whole body seemed to be numb, even though everything was hurting. I looked down at the thin notebook, pink, with little cute white hearts. I didn’t always want to concern Alice, or someone else… So I had to write everything down. And maybe one day I would be able to laugh at my stupid teenage crush. And maybe one other day I would be able to give that notebook to him. Maybe one day…

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"But what’s wrong with you?" I bit my lower lip, stepping from one foot to the other one. After all I was still wearing my school uniform. And it was November. The cold wind was crawling up my legs. But seriously - His eyes would have been enough to make me shiver, and I almost told him not to give me that look. Jongin was standing right in front of me, his hands hidden in the pockets of his black jeans. He already was looking like a little five year old boy, even though he was older than me by two years. But it got even worse. He looked up from his feet, through his eyeleashes, his eyes so big, so round. He was trying to play the puppy-eyes-card. I was doing so well for the past six weeks. Well… At least I tried to convince myself that I was doing fine. Even though I was missing him, I got used to it. Somehow. I got used to not hearing his voice every few days. I got used to not being able to see him once a week. And I somehow got used to missing him. It wasn’t as bad as it was at the beginning anymore. I also got used to that feeling of having failed. It was my own decision - But I got used to it to live without him as my best friend. And now… He was standing right in front of me, trying to make me to give up, to regret my decision. And - oh my God, I already was regretting. Everything. Jongin was waiting for me to come home after school had ended, sat on the first staircase, his shoulders hanging down low, his head as well. He looked lost. "It’s… I… I don’t know what you’re talking about", I pressed through my clenched teeth, And there was a change in Jongin’s eyes. There was a expression he never used before when he was talking to me. He never looked at me like this before. I swallowed hard, tried to gulp down the heavy lump in my throat as soon as it appeared. I’ve almost managed not to cry about him everyday anymore. But right now… Huge tears were filling my eyes, causing me to blink for a few times. Jongin looked at me with a mixture of confusion and disbelief in his own eyes. I swear, for a second, I even saw him smirking because he couldn’t believe it. "You don’t know what I am talking about?", he asked, his voice quiet, but higher than usual. "There seems to be something… Something I did, something wrong… You could, at least, tell me what I did wrong, huh?" There weren’t tears in his eyes, right? They weren’t glistening in the darkness, right? This wasn’t happening right now, right? For the first time in my life I wanted to drink some alcohol, in order to forget everything. To forget this feeling, to forget the fear, to forget what I was going to do. I began to hope for heavy rain, starting to pour down, after I’ve heard the first growl in the background, dangerously signalising the incoming thunderclap. And even though I wanted to wonder about how long Jongin was waiting for me - I spent some more hours than neccessary at school, finishing my homework - I couldn’t. I shouldn’t care anymore. Instead I tried to keep as calm as possible, in order not to show him how vulnerable I was right at that moment. I took a deep breath and suddenly the weight on my shoulders, the backpack I was wearing, got too heavy for me to handle, unbearable. I looked up at Jongin, meeting his eyes, forcing myself to say what I already decided to tell him some weeks ago. The thunderclap was there, so suddenly I almost jumped startled, jumped almost into his direction. No… "You won’t tell me? You won’t tell me what I did? You won’t tell me what I have to apologize for? You won’t?" I hardly clenched my hands into tight fists, my fingernails boring into the soft flesh of my palms, but that kind of pain wasn’t the worst. Something else was hurting a lot more as I looked at Jongin trying to fight against his tears, a fight he soon would lose. I forced myself not to stretch out my arm, to place one of my hand on his cheek to convince him that it was okay, that everything was alright, that nothing bad was going to happen. Jongin bit his lower lip, before turning his head into another direction, looking away from me. Goodbye cotton candy. Goodybe my planet. Goodbye Jongin. "It’s not your fault", I finally decided to break the heavy silence, causing him to look back at me again. The next thunderclap. "It’s just…" How to say this without destroying everything? There was no way, right? "What?", Jongin asked. "It’s not my fault? It’s yours? You’re sick of me being your best friend? You’re sick of me running after you?" He was just giving me the right opportunity to hurt his feelings. I just looked up at him, not showing any hint of emotion on my face. And that was when Jongin’s expression changed for another time and caught me off guard. His lips began to tremble and a first single tear escaped his eyes, making its way down his cheek. I was about to give in, to lay my arms around his neck and hold him close, to soothe him, to pat his back in a comforting way. An idea seemed to run through his mind. "Did someone say something?", he asked, a little hope underlining his trembling voice. "What?" "Did someone tell you not to meet me anymore? A fan?" "Jongin, I told you it’s not about you. I just…" "Did anyone tell you a rumour about me?" "I… No!" "Then I did something wrong?" His voice was so quiet that it broke my heart. Again. And all I could do was to yell at him, to make him stop, to stop him from asking any more questions. "No! God damn it! I just…" I again took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. "I don’t want to be… I just… I…" "Say it!", Jongin demanded softly even though he already seemed to know what I was going to say. "Tell me!" With his foot he kicked a stone that wasn’t even there. "Idontwanttobeyourbestfriendanymore", I mumbled as fast as possible because I was afraid I would just fall to the ground if I inhaled some air. Jongin looked at me like I just stole his favourite candy, not sure if he understood me right or not. "What?" Some seconds of silence went by. "Did you just say that you don’t want to be my best friend anymore? Did you? Without even knowing why I came here, what I wanted to tell you?" I closed my eyes for a second and gathered all the strength I had left. But still, I was feeling like I was about to collapse. Right there, right then. "Right! I don’t want to be your best friend anymore", I said, afraid of how calm I was all of a sudden. "And I don’t want to hear your news anymore. They are always the same. New single here, waist injury there… Go and find someone else to tell your news to, please!" "Yubi…" "No! Tell someone else!" And with that I couldn’t help it. I just had to run upstairs, to the front door of my house. I couldn’t bear it any longer. Before Jongin could get a hold of my arm I reached the door, typed in the code to unlock the door and slammed it shut behind my back, standing still for a few seconds. Until he loudly banged against the door, over and over again, calling out my name. I jumped away a little bit, not able to hold back the tears anymore. I pressed one of my hands against my lips in order not to sob out loud, feeling the almost cold metal of the bracelett he gave me on my last birthday laying around my wrist uncomfortably. "Yubi, please! You can’t… 15 years, Yubi!", I heard his quiet voice behind my back. But it felt like he was so close, like he was standing right behind me. "Yubi, what’s wrong?", another voice startled me while the tears began to run down my cheeks. My mother… I opened my mouth, about to say something but my voice got stuck in my throat. All I could do was to shake my head and to run away, upstairs. Away from that door that was seperating me from Jongin, bringing more distance between us.

❅❅❅❅

Are you sure you don’t want to come with us? - A text message, the fifth today. I sighed. I guess, this time I had no other choice than to reply.

No, thanks. I’m fine.

But no one should be alone on Chrismas Eve, Yubi. Your parents are celebrating with the Kim’s, right? And you always used to celebrate with us.

But he would be there as well.

I’m really fine, Alice. You just go and hug everyone and greet them. I don’t think I want to do anything today.

The next message was there almost immediately. - Yubi… I think… We need to talk! - I raised my eyebrows. Did something happen to her? Something bad? Something good?

About what? - But before I could sent that message my mobile phone was already ringing loudly, interrupting the peaceful silence. "Alice, what’s wrong?", I asked as soon as I answered the call, looking back at the street that was laying down there in front of my house. Everything was painted in soft white snow and the lights were almost giving an romantical feeling. I pulled the blanket that was warming up my body closer and rested my forehead against the cold glass of the window right next to me. "Yubi, you really have to promise that you won’t be mad at me, okay?" "Alice…" "Promise!" I sighed and nodded. “Okay, I Promise”, I answered halfheartedly while looking up to the sky. It was already dark but still I could see some even darker clouds. And only two seconds later it began to rain, causing me to pout slightly. The rain would chase away all that beautiful snow. The raindrops were crashing against the window and I closed my eyes. "Yubi…", Alice began to speak again, her voice lowered because she didn’t want anyone else to hear what she was going to tell me. "Some weeks ago…" She took a deep breath. ""Jongin! I spoke to Jongin a few weeks ago…" I opened my eyes, looking at my own refletion in the window, my eyes widened. My heart was beating faster all of a sudden, faster than it ever did. “And then I spoke to him again some days after that…” "About what?", I asked with a heavy lump in my throat and some tears already filling my eyes. I got no response. "Alice! About what were you talking?" "About you", her voice was merely a whisper. I raised my eyebrows and was about to ask another question, but Alice was faster. "And he told me something… Some news… And I told him to tell you as soon as possible… But you… And then…" "Alice…" "You were…" "Alice!" "Huh?" "What news?", I asked, biting my lower lip. She wasn’t talking about that evening, right? That evening he also wanted to tell me about some news? "Yubi… I’m really sorry because I gave you those advices some weeks ago. Because I had no idea…" I held my breath, trying to force myself not to cry like a little baby. “What news?”, I repeated my own question and hoped she would say it finally this time. “Alice? What news?” "You know…", She sighed loudly and I could imagine her ruffling her hair. "It was when you stopped talking to him… He was concerned and afraid… And he told me that he really missed you a lot. Not like someone would miss his best friend… He told me… He told me that he wanted to be with you all the time and to hold you and to see you smile and to hear your voice… That’s not what someone… He was afraid that he did something wrong. And I wanted to tell you, I really did. But at that time you weren’t answering your phone for days… And before I could tell you… You told him that you don’t want to be his best friend anymore and… Yubi…" Time had stopped and all I could hear was the beating of my own heart. The rain was now mute, and so was the clock that was hanging on the wall. I wasn’t able to move, to think or to breathe. I couldn’t even cry. My mouth was just standing open and I looked at the street, where the snow was slowly fading away. “Yubi?” I was trying to sort all of the informations in that moment. I felt dizzy all of a sudden. Was this real? "Yubi, are you there?" "Oh…" "Yubi… There is something else." I finally snapped out of my trance and shook my head. “What?”, I asked, nervously. "Do you still remember how the both of you celebrated Christmas when you were still little kids?" "Yeah…" Time began to start running again, my heart was beating abnormally fast and some tears were falling down my cheeks. "The both of you only spoke out a little wish - One that didn’t need any money - And on Christmas Eve… Yubi, he told me his wish for this years Christmas." It was impossible to gulp down the lump in my throat. So I decided to try to breathe properly in order to call myself down. "Yubi, he is not with us today. He didn’t feel like… Min Joo said Jongin feels sick - Is feeling sick for weeks now and…" "What is his wish about?", I interrupted Alice. "What?" "His wish! What is it?" "Aaaah…" Alice sounded like she was about to cry as well. "I don’t know that exactly. He just said that he wants to see you, and if it just would be for one last time, and that he wants to remember that moment for the rest…" "Alice!" "Yeah?" "I will call you later, okay?", I said, suddenly being in a hurry without even knowing why. "Okay? I think… I just need some fresh air now." "Oh… Okay! But Yubi?" "Hmm?" "You’re not mad at me, are you?" I smiled sligtly. “I am not!” And with that I hung up.

❅❅❅❅

"I should have brought my umbrella with me", I said to myself as I was still walking through the streets. It was silent, no one was on the streets. Avoiding the bad weather or spending the evening with the beloved ones would have been a better idea. It seemed like an enternity but still I couldn’t go back home. The cold air was clearing my mind. I crossed my arms in front of my chest, trying to stop the warmth of my body from leaving. It was dark, it was cold, it was past ten I guess. The wind was trying to play with my hair, but the rain already had drenched it. So it wasn’t moving. But it was uncomfortable, I was freezing, shivering like aspen leaves. My taste buds were craving for a hot chocolate with marshmellows, but I wasn’t able to think straight because my heart was beating way too loud. I sighed loudly and stopped in front of a red light even though there was no car driving through the streets. I was on my way back home, my clothes drenched. I just wanted to curl up into a ball at some warm place. I wanted this evening to be over - My most favourite time of the ear and I didn’t want to celebrate it this year. I began to walk again when the lights hit green. My feet were carrying me into a direction I knew very well, but they stopped in front of the wrong door. I opened my mouth, but wouldn’t it be stupid to talk to myself right now, again? I lifted my right arm, resting my hand on the thick wood of the door, like I somehow could feel connected to that person behind somehow. And maybe it was just imagination but as soon as I touched the door I felt strangely soothed. I looked to the right where I could see my own house. Still neighbours - Still so close, but never have we been this far away from each other before. I sighed quietly, afraid he could hear me even though that was impossible and turned around. This wasn’t right. Even after what Alice had told me. This wasn’t right. After all I was the person that dared to hurt him like this. And now I was coming back, hoping for him to forgive me. I was in love with my best friend and he was missing me, already feeling sick. But how could I ask him for forgiveness? What would change? He wouldn’t want me to leave again, right? And I would be the one suffering like I did before, like I did for over four years. I closed my eyes, wanting to will my tears away. How would it feel to hear his voice again after this time? I never could compare hearing his voice on a TV-show or to hear it for real. How would it feel to feel his warmth one more time? Since I left him my body felt cold all the time. And how would it be to be able to smell his scent for one more? Because whenever I walked through the streets and could smell cotton candy I just had to think about him. How frustrating. Like this… I would never be able to forget him, right? I was about to walk the last few steps back home, but stopped again without even wanting it. A soft light was painting the living room of the Kim-family in a dark yellow, a glint every third second. Maybe my parents were there together with their best friends, Jongin in between. Out of the corners of my eyes I could see a person sitting in the middle of the room, not facing the Christmas tree, almost ignoring it and the all the presents that were laying sprawled right under it. This was a bad idea but still… I turned my head to look at that person was sitting on the floor in the middle of the room. And my heart got shattered into thousands of pieces. It was him! And he was alone, just like Alice said. He was sitting in the middle of the living room, in front of the fireplace, his legs bent in front of his upper body, his arms hugging his own knees. And he absentmindedly was resting his chin on top of his knees, his gaze lost in the warm fire. I felt weak all of a sudden, like my legs were about to give in, to lose their strength and I knew - some day - I would regret everything. I bit my lower lip and before I even could make a decision my own feet were betraying me, carrying me back to the door and before I could stop myself I rung the doorbell - Hitting myself in my mind. I could run away. I could hide somewhere. I could act like I was drunk? I could… A warm breeze was hitting my face and I held my breath, looking up at him with wide eyes like he was Santa Clause himself. Jongin opened his mouth, but closed it right away, not knowing what he should say. It was awkward to see him again, like this. I was still drenched from the rain, the lack of sleep wasn’t suiting me that well. But wasn’t this his wish? To see me once again? Here I was. Right in front of him. The both of us not able to do anything. Well, almost… I had no idea what was going wrong. But the sudden scent of cotton candy seemed to lull my senses, to make me lose my clear mind. I stepped closer, without even wanting it. I was standing on my tiptoes, without even wanting it. I leaned forwards, without even wanting it. And then… For a second the both of us looked into each other eyes, confused at my actions. I just… Did I really just plant a short kiss onto his cheek? I wanted to say something but not more than a quiet whimper was able to escape my mouth and I widened my eyes in shock. I still could feel the warmth of his cheek lingering on my lips, how soft his skin was, how my heart fluttered. "MERRYCHRISTMAS", I yelled at him, speaking way too fast, too loud, too high. What was I even doing? I turned around, wanted to run away for real now. But I couldn’t even make one simple step. Jongin’s fingers were already wrapped around my wrist, holding me back, burning my skin. I stumbled over my own feet while I tried to properly turn around and then… I bumped into him, into his chest, face first. His chest was lifting and lowering itself in a fast rhythym and I even could hear his heart beating, just as loud and fast as mine. I swallowed hard and stepped away, only a little bit, and didn’t dare to look up at him again. "Don’t go like this!", he softly demanded, whispering. Now I had to force myself not to look into his eyes. "Would you finally like to hear what the news were about? Can I tell you now?", Jongin asked nervously, still holding onto my wrist. Maybe he was afraid I would try to run away for another time. But this was not what I had expected. This was a feeling I’ve never experienced before. Something was happening in my stomach, a funny tingle, and my toes were about to curl themselves whereas I, myself, got dizzy again. How long were my legs going to still carry me? His lips were soft, pressed against my own. His fingers around my wrist began to move, only to intertwine themselves with mine, making me feel lightheaded. Jongin was kissing away the cold rain, was kissing away all the worries, all the fears I had. This were his news? This was what he wanted to tell me some weeks ago? And I didn’t want to listen to him. Before I could close my eyes he pulled away, but not entirely. Jongin rested his forehead against mine. I guess, I would need more time - More time to realize what just had happened. "Merry Christmas to you, too, silly!", he smiled, his other hand warming the skin of my cheek. "Come on… It’s cold! And there is a lot we have to talk about, huh?" I nodded, smiling slightly as well, as I followed him into the living room of the house, led by his hand still holding mine. I stopped walking as soon as the thought crossed my mind. Even though there was a lot to talk about. There was one thing I had to say first. One thing that was so important to me. Jongin turned around, his eyes widened in confusion. "I…" He stepped closer because my voice was merely a whisper. He looked at me, looked right into my soul, waiting for me to say something. I swallowed hard and opened my mouth, already lulled by his scent. Again! "Can we be best friends again?", I asked so quiet that I thought he maybe didn’t even hear me. But Jongin did. He raised his eyebrows, his fingers were now only holding weakly onto my own. "What?" I guess, he didn’t understand what I was trying to say, because there was another meaning behind those words. Now it was my turn to step closer for a little bit until our faces were only a few inches apart. His hot breath was softly brushing against the skin of my face. I smiled slightly, overwhelmed by that closeness. "I mean… I don’t want you to be my best friend only. But I still want you to be my best friend… You know… I want you to be my best friend again." Jongin chuckled quietly, understanding it now. “I think that’s possible”, he smiled and began to pull at my hand again…

❅❅❅❅

[golden-aaurora]

The Promise - Kai Drabble

Tell me how long am I going to look at the sea? How long am I going to count the raindrops? How long am I going to smile as if nothing has happened? ~ The Promise ~ How long am I going to wait? How long am I going to freeze? How long am I going to swallow down my hopes? When are you going to come closer? ~ Kai Drabble ~

"I will come back! You won’t even recognize that I’ve left. That’s how fast I will be back, huh?" "Promise me! That you will come back." A quiet laughter, a bright smile. I sighed. "I promise! And now go to sleep!" "I don’t want to!" I sighed again, trying to save all of the memories from today. I would never forget them. "Why?" "Because when I… Time will go by faster. I don’t want you to…" A warm and soft hand began to rest on my cheek. A gentle kiss was planted on the tip of my nose in the next second and I closed my eyes even though I didn’t want to. "Sleep now!" "But I…" "Sleep!" Another kiss on my forehead and the lights got turned off. "Remember the bridge when it’s too much to handle." I am to wait for only one more day. And tomorrow I will be able to forget you, right? I will be strong enough. And even when you will come back soon, I won’t be there waiting. This will be the last day. "Forget what I told you yesterday. Today is going to be the last day. For real. You can believe me! I am going to stop!" I nodded, just to encourage myself. I will be strong enough. ~ I wasn’t strong enough. I failed. Again. I am sorry. Well - Maybe I’m not. I don’t know. The picture in front of my eyes was the same. I have already seen this yesterday. But still it doesn’t seem to get boring. My eyes were watery. No, not because I was about to cry. Just… The wind was too chilly or maybe something flew into my eyes. I pulled the blanket up to my nose, nervously bobbing my legs up and down. You are late. Seriously, I can’t take this anymore. I won’t wait for you tomorrow… ~ "Jongin, please hurry up! We’re already too late and I…" "Just five more minutes." "We don’t have five more minutes!" "Then give me just one more minute?" She sighed and stopped trying to push me away. "One more minute?" "Five one more minutes!" "Jongin!" Same place, same hour. Same chair, same position. The blanket wrapped around my shaking upper body. My eyes watery. It was difficult to see clearly. My chin was resting on top of my knees. I was already tired, sleepy. But I couldn’t close my eyes. No! What when she came back right then? How miserable would she feel when I wasn’t waiting for her? When I was sleeping instead of greeting her? On the other hand… No! I forced myself to keep my eyes open and shook my head. "Thirteen days", she said. "Maybe fourteen. But not more than fifteen!" You are late. Some more days have passed. I won’t wait for you tomorrow… ~ My whole body was shaking when I grabbed my mobile phone from the little table that was standing right in front of the couch. It was her! A huge smile played with the corners of my mouth. My legs were bent in front of me and my toes began to wiggle without me even noticing it as I answered the call. Before I even could open my mouth, to tell her how much I was missing her, the silence was interrupted by a deep voice. "Jongin? Kim Jongin?" I said nothing, only raised my eyebrows as if that person was able to see my expression. "Are you Kim Jongin?" What was this? I was feeling dizzy all of a sudden. Too many things were rushing through my head, making it impossible to think properly. "Yes, I am…" She said it wouldn’t take her that long. Thirteen days, maybe fourteen? Liar! Am I going to wait for another 32 days? I bit my lower lip and tried to swallow the big lump in my throat. It wasn’t unusual anymore. My heart skipped every second or third beat and my lids were heavy. My eyes were watery. Again. You are late. You promised to come back ealier. I won’t wait for you tomorrow… ~ "Don’t you remember the story about the bridge?" I shook my head abd lowered my eyes. She told me about that sometime, when I was holding her in my arms, about to fall asleep. That’s when she told me about every fairytale she listened to when she was still a little child. "Hey, when will you start to listen to me, Kim Jongin?" With the tip of her index finger she nudged my forehead for two, three, four times. Softly, without any pressure. "I am sorry!", I beamed at her while lifting my head, causing her to stop immediately. "Will you at least listen now?" "I will!", I promised, smiling even brighter. 45 days! The knot in my chest was now growing bigger with every breath I took. My eyes weren’t watery. There were no more tears left. I couldn’t even cry anymore. The only thing left was that pain that was trying to eat me up alive. You are late. And I definetely won’t wait for you tomorrow! ~ "You just need to go there and then you will close your eyes when the sun is about to set." "And what happens when I will go there when the sun is about to rise?" "Listen!" "Okay." We continued walking, hand in hand. The bridge was really beautiful and I began to wonder why I have never been there before… "Stop!" I did. Nervously she was stepping from one foot to the other, but still smiling. "Now look at the sea - And when the sun is here…" Her fingers were tapping against the tip of my nose to signalise me what the perfect hight for the sun would be. "… you will close your eyes.You will feel all the warmth you always felt when that one person you miss the most was still with you. Try it." "But I don’t need to." She widened her eyes. “Why?” Another 9 days… Behind my back I could hear the noise of three pairs of feet. They had no idea that I was able to hear them even though they closed the door to the veranda, that place I was still waiting at. One of the windows was still opened. "I don’t know why he is still here. He has no reasons to stay at this place", Minseok, one of my elder friends, said. A friend from Seoul. "She won’t come back. They said so. When will he…" "He loves her!", another voice, Chanyeol’s, interrupted him. "If we weren’t here to take him with us now - He would wait forever." Today was the last day - The last time I would look at the sea. The last time I would wait for her. But not there, not on the veranda, not this time… "Hey, where is he going?", I heard Joon Myun’s voice after I started running. Today, 54 days… I’ve waited for 54 days for you to come back. Nothing but that one moment mattered anymore. Nothing else was important right in that moment. It didn’t matter that I wasn’t wearing shoes or that little raindrops were still resting on the leaves, on the tip of every blade of grass. It didn’t matter that I fell once, no twice, because I slipped. And it alsoo didn’t matter that my lungs were hurting because I was moving so fast after so many days. I only stopped running, when my feet made quiet muffled sounds on the wood of the bridge… "And when the sun is here…", I repeated her words and lifted my own arm to see if the sun was standing right. "What the hell is he doing?", Minseok asked quietly. Five… Four… Three… Two… I stopped breathing and closed my eyes. And for the first time in 54 days I felt alive, safe and warm. The sun was soothing every inch of my body. It was weird, but it felt like I was able to smell her scent, able to hear her laughter, able to feel her touch. You aren’t late. I just wasn’t waiting for you at the right place. But still… I will wait for you tomorrow. And the day after tomorrow. Will you wait for me, too? Do you promise? I will promise you! ~ "Who are you? What are you trying to say?" "I’m her uncle." Silence. For more than thirty seconds. "I don’t want you to come. Do you understand? No one wants you to come." "But I…" "No! If you come…" "Are you trying to…" "Don’t come. Nobody needs you here!" And then he hung up, leaving me behind in shock - Not able to move, not able to breathe, not able to think properly. All I could do was to wait. 54 days. It took you really long. Yeah, you were really late. And I won’t wait anymore. ~ "Jongin, please hurry up! We’re already late and I…" "Just five more minutes!" She sighed. "Do you want my father to kill you?" I smirked, with my eyes still closed. "I won’t listen to your family. Never again." I tightened my grip around her waist. “Your uncle… Is he…” "Jongin, you were dreaming!", she interrupted me. "But he…" Her warm hand brushed away a strand of my hair. “I think he hates me.” "But you’ve never seen him before, Jongin. You don’t know if he hates you. It was only a dream", she whispered. For a little while no one said anything. Maybe for about five minutes. The five minutes I’ve asked for. "Jongin?" "Hmm?" "Let’s get up now, huh? We’re really late." I groaned frustrated. "Okay, this is the last warning, Kim Jongin!" She jumped out of the bed, pulling away the blanket from my still tired body, causing me to shiver slightly. "Hey, that…", I wanted to protest, but she was again faster. "I swear to God, if we’re going to be too late for our own wedding…" "Okay, okay. I’ll get up!" ______ Nabi’s Note: I wrote this when I was half asleep and I really don’t like it. But I felt like writing after a long, long time.

[nabi-scenarios]

I miss you. :'(

ah that's too bad, dear. but maybe i will write a scenario soon since i am on my summer break now :)

[nabi-scenarios]

Aaah soo glad I've found you again!! You probably don't remember me since I've always messaged you anonymously XD but really glad I've found you and there are so many scenario's I have to catch up to! Good thing it is vacation :)

well, good thing i am on a hiatus then, huh? but i hope you will enjoy all the new scenarios you haven't read so far :)

[nabi-scenarios]

Omg are you nabi from nabi paradise? Did you change your url a long time ago? Cause I remember I bookmarked nabi paradise but somehow one day I couldn't go to your website and I thought you deleted your tumblr! You were from germany right?

lol. yes, that's me! and yes, i am from germany. you can find all of my scenarios here. but right now i am on a hiatus :)