nadapoet

[nadapoet]

Life peaked in my early 20’s

Then plateaued at 25

Now I’m stumbling through my 30’s

What a time to be alive

kk

[nadapoet]

I often catch myself missing the sad and depressed version of me

Living through it was hell

But god how I miss the writing 

Those dark seasons sharpened my perception

I could just dump my emotions directly into words and poems

It’s almost as if when I was hurting, my mind slowed down just enough to really notice myself

It narrowed the world in such way that I could see it for what it is and see me for who I am 

It’s a paradox to just lay here and romanticize about how the dark times made me feel alive

She’s worth it though

And if the price of loving her means losing the ability to write poetry that came from a broken heart?

It’s not so tragic

It’s a trade I’d make every day for the rest of my life

kk

[nadapoet]

Love is ambiguous

It’s a unique combination of every emotion you possess, pulsing at an ever-changing rhythm

It can synchronize every aspect of your existence

But it can also hurt

It can hollow you out and diminish every aspect of your identity

Love is dangerous

And although my life experiences have screamed at me to proceed with caution

I still love recklessly

I still love with every fiber of my soul

kk

[nadapoet]

My mind radiates with fiction just to suffocate what’s true

I lay alone in bed at night

But in my mind it’s me and you

kk

[nadapoet]

My thoughts get so carried away

My thoughts could carry me away

My thoughts could bury me

I wish my thoughts would stop

Just for today

kk

[nadapoet]

I dream awake and think about my past as if I could restart

I fall asleep just to retreat to the faint beat of my heart

Why do I feel?

What is the meaning?

Why am I so in control?

I bask in lies that truth denies

I'm simply searching for my soul

kk

[nadapoet]

I’m captivated by your mind

I fantasize about your eyes

You’re so mysterious to me

Wish I could read between your lines

You’re unintentionally perfect

You’re unequivocally unique

Wish I could take the pain away

So I could sweep you off your feet

kk

[nadapoet]

Lately my mind’s been suffocating with thoughts about what life will be like without you

How will the bed feel without you beside me

How will our favorite songs sound without you

How will movies feel without our small talk between the scenes

How will I deal with not knowing about your day, if you’re okay

Every single nuance that I love(d) about you and us race through my mind

All of these wonderful memories of the person I fell in love with are now haunting me

And I’m terrified

Because I can’t keep looking for the person you used to be

Because I can’t figure out how to love the person you’ve become

Because I can’t keep fighting

I’ve given up

And soon I’ll know exactly how it feels to be without you

kk

[nadapoet]

Intentional emotion just to watch the days go by

Another sip of life

I quench my thirst until it's dry

Astonishing enough

I feel happy when it's plain

Though I do love the radiant sun

I'd much rather play in cloudy rain

kk

[nadapoet]

If I kissed you would the feeling last or would it fade away?

Would it be something that we chased?

Would it be something we replayed?

If I kissed you would we fall apart or would we stick together?

Would we give up after a while?

Would we go look for something better?

If I kissed you..

I’d kiss you

kk

[nadapoet]

It's not that I forget to ask you to pinch me

It's just that if this is a dream

I don't ever want to wake up

kk

[nadapoet]

I lay awake and look across the bed

It’s been different for a while

I love you more than anything

I just can’t seem to make you smile

I lay awake and look across the bed

You’re never looking back

It’s not because your eyes are closed

It’s because I’m looking at your back

I lay awake and look across the bed

There’s nothing left that I can say

I lay awake and don’t feel anything

From just a couple feet away

kk

[nadapoet]

I parlay with raw emotions as I play the cards I’m dealt

I seem to focus on the love when I connect with how we felt

I seem to focus on the pain when I’m alone and by myself

My life is different without you

I feel just like an empty shelf

kk

[nadapoet]

I’m jaded

My mind’s degraded

I don’t know what I want anymore

My heart’s deteriorated

I hate it but I don’t feel love anymore

kk