Life peaked in my early 20’s
Then plateaued at 25
Now I’m stumbling through my 30’s
What a time to be alive
kk
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@nadapoet
Life peaked in my early 20’s
Then plateaued at 25
Now I’m stumbling through my 30’s
What a time to be alive
kk
I often catch myself missing the sad and depressed version of me
Living through it was hell
But god how I miss the writing
Those dark seasons sharpened my perception
I could just dump my emotions directly into words and poems
It’s almost as if when I was hurting, my mind slowed down just enough to really notice myself
It narrowed the world in such way that I could see it for what it is and see me for who I am
It’s a paradox to just lay here and romanticize about how the dark times made me feel alive
She’s worth it though
And if the price of loving her means losing the ability to write poetry that came from a broken heart?
It’s not so tragic
It’s a trade I’d make every day for the rest of my life
kk
Love is ambiguous
It’s a unique combination of every emotion you possess, pulsing at an ever-changing rhythm
It can synchronize every aspect of your existence
But it can also hurt
It can hollow you out and diminish every aspect of your identity
Love is dangerous
And although my life experiences have screamed at me to proceed with caution
I still love recklessly
I still love with every fiber of my soul
kk
My mind radiates with fiction just to suffocate what’s true
I lay alone in bed at night
But in my mind it’s me and you
kk
My thoughts get so carried away
My thoughts could carry me away
My thoughts could bury me
I wish my thoughts would stop
Just for today
kk
I dream awake and think about my past as if I could restart
I fall asleep just to retreat to the faint beat of my heart
Why do I feel?
What is the meaning?
Why am I so in control?
I bask in lies that truth denies
I'm simply searching for my soul
kk
I’m captivated by your mind
I fantasize about your eyes
You’re so mysterious to me
Wish I could read between your lines
You’re unintentionally perfect
You’re unequivocally unique
Wish I could take the pain away
So I could sweep you off your feet
kk
Lately my mind’s been suffocating with thoughts about what life will be like without you
How will the bed feel without you beside me
How will our favorite songs sound without you
How will movies feel without our small talk between the scenes
How will I deal with not knowing about your day, if you’re okay
Every single nuance that I love(d) about you and us race through my mind
All of these wonderful memories of the person I fell in love with are now haunting me
And I’m terrified
Because I can’t keep looking for the person you used to be
Because I can’t figure out how to love the person you’ve become
Because I can’t keep fighting
I’ve given up
And soon I’ll know exactly how it feels to be without you
kk
Intentional emotion just to watch the days go by
Another sip of life
I quench my thirst until it's dry
Astonishing enough
I feel happy when it's plain
Though I do love the radiant sun
I'd much rather play in cloudy rain
kk
If I kissed you would the feeling last or would it fade away?
Would it be something that we chased?
Would it be something we replayed?
If I kissed you would we fall apart or would we stick together?
Would we give up after a while?
Would we go look for something better?
If I kissed you..
I’d kiss you
kk
It's not that I forget to ask you to pinch me
It's just that if this is a dream
I don't ever want to wake up
kk
I lay awake and look across the bed
It’s been different for a while
I love you more than anything
I just can’t seem to make you smile
I lay awake and look across the bed
You’re never looking back
It’s not because your eyes are closed
It’s because I’m looking at your back
I lay awake and look across the bed
There’s nothing left that I can say
I lay awake and don’t feel anything
From just a couple feet away
kk
I parlay with raw emotions as I play the cards I’m dealt
I seem to focus on the love when I connect with how we felt
I seem to focus on the pain when I’m alone and by myself
My life is different without you
I feel just like an empty shelf
kk
I’m jaded
My mind’s degraded
I don’t know what I want anymore
My heart’s deteriorated
I hate it but I don’t feel love anymore
kk