kieran

yapfest 🗯 irregular nagiposting; i fw nagireo and nagi heavy!!

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nagi seishiro and his unstable self image -an analysis

nagi's self image isnt just a straightforward 'im amazing' or 'im worthless' . its ever changing and alternating.

the first thing i want to note is how throughout episode nagi , but also a little bit in the main manga, we see nagi struggle with identifying his feelings, what he truly desires, his ego — everything, really. (im not gonna go into details of why this might be, thats for another time) but these moments presented to us already gives us an idea that nagi already has a shaky sense of his own self which i believe will correlate to everything im about to say next.

for someone presented as an unbothered king that does not care about anything, i think its very interesting how interested he seems to be in finding out the essence of his being, who he truly is etc. he's still trying to figure out who he is — unlike all his peers who seem to have their goals sorted out already. but i digress, lets move on.

arrogance + self centeredness

i know those adjectives sound negative, but i promise you its not like that. nagi is arrogant to a certain degree, and arguably quite self centered and heres why i think so:

firstly, he's a soccer genius. despite playing for only a few months at the time(start of bluelock), he had never lost a single match. this likely made him quite confident in his skills, as he even straight up said to ego that he can easily imagine scoring the winning goal at the world cup — which is no easy feat and a bold claim on his part.

and mind you, he wasnt always fired up about soccer in the beginning. he only did after finally losing a match. he has said multiple times he craves the feeling of winning, rather than soccer. winning is what gets him fired up, because according to him, it makes him feel like "a god" and that gives him pleasure. i feel this really ties in to the self centered part of him , in a way.

there is a lot more i can think of really, but this is getting long. tldr nagi has an arrogant streak to him and he likes to feel like he's the best (he doesnt like losing & craves feeling like a god)

self doubt and self loathing — insecurity

despite him being arrogant and feeling like hes the best at times, he can also do a complete 180 and feel like he's the most worthless being in the planet ( hence, unstable self image)

we first see his self-doubt and insecurities depicted as he asked reo multiple times throughout the manga if reo ever plans to replace him. he even once stated he thinks reo is weird for putting up with him — which tells us he has some sort of underlying insecurity of the way he acts. this is a stark contrast to the confident nagi we often see on the field ( however for his last match — we did see him shaken up and worried )

but what about his self loathing?

after getting locked off, he blamed himself. the same nagi who once felt like a god and carried arrogance for his soccer abilities blaming himself. he called himself disgusting and a creep just for wanting to go back. even going as far as to say 'you make me sick' to himself. and again, this is such a huge contrast to the previous panels. from 'i can easily envision scoring the winning goal in the world cup' a statement filled with confidence and cockiness, to directing the hateful words of 'how uncool can you be? you make me sick.' to himself.

to conclude, nagi has a very poor sense of identity and a self image that is constantly shifting, which i think makes him stand out especially since these shifts are pretty drastic. and when you consider the fact that him being unfazed by most things is a highlight of his character on a surface level, it rlly makes this whole thing even more ironic

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nagi seishiro and dependency. - an analysis

as we know, nagi has been neglected by his parents his whole life, they travel frequently and leave him to his own means — not even helping him move.

because of this, he's conditioned himself to a lifestyle where he doesn't rely on anyone but himself. he's never learnt how to depend on others properly and has probably never considered it an option. it is also implied that nagi feels unimportant to his parents, with this panel right here where he tells reo that he probably means a lot to his parents if they constantly meddle in his life — which as you've probably guessed, heavily contrasts nagi's own family, where they hardly even speak or take care of him for that matter.

but well, reo comes along. and reo takes the typical friendship to the extra mile, as he takes care of nagi deeply, making sure he eats, helping him with getting dressed, giving him a piggyback when he needs it, etc. kind of like how a parent would take care of their child. (dont get it twisted i am not calling their bond familial in the slightest) but doesnt that fit so conveniently? reo spoiling nagi, taking care of him, when nagi's whole life he had no one to depend on? this is exactly why nagi got so attached to reo fast. reo gave him something he never had before. for once he didnt have to depend on himself, but was able to depend on someone else. and as he feels unimportant to his parents like i said earlier, reos behaviour made him feel important to someone for the first time.

now that nagi knows what its like to be valued, to depend on others, he doesnt wanna lose it. in this panel he says 'lets not do the stuff we didnt like when our parents did it to us' to reo, and reo assumes nagi was asking him to stop meddling, and nagi affirms this thought. perhaps a stretch, but i think theres a double meaning to this line — the other being 'dont leave me alone the way my parents did'

why do i think that? because he follows up with one of his most iconic lines 'dont die before i do'

he has become very reliant on reo, and very quickly too. in the blue lock exhibition audio guide, he even expresses that he wants reo to spoil him more and keep doing so for a long time. he's gotten comfortable with depending on reo.

in terms of soccer, nagi is also reliant on reos passes.

in the manshine vs barcha match, nagi had a bit of a crisis regarding his dependency towards reo. he realised that reo didnt have to rely on him and could score his own goal, while in contrast, nagi was going through a bit of a slump and couldnt score. he came to the conclusion that he had to score on his own or he'd lose reo. but unfortunately as we all know, he didnt, and on top of that, got locked off.

for once, nagi felt fear. he had always been content relying on and being with reo, but now he's face to face with the fact that their dream is over, because he relied on reo too much and didn't search for his ego.

this then leads to the infamous scene of him discovering that he was blocked by reo. but instead of resenting reo for this, he blames himself. he calls himself uncool, disgusting, a creep for just simply trying to rely on reo again.

and it all just boils down to one thing, his upbringing. he had been on his own for so long, relying on no one but himself. he thinks that everything that happened was all his fault for letting himself depend on reo.

he blames himself for wanting to depend on reo, and he's frustrated at himself for not changing and becoming independent.

the one thing nagi needed most in his life ultimately led to his downfall. he is someone who needed love and security but never received it growing up, and as a result does not know how to accept it in moderation.

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i think nagi saying "its fine, that's what i thought, but.. why am i so miserable?" tells us a lot about his character.

firstly, another translation of this line is 'if i dont care about it, why does it hurt so much?' which makes the point I'm about to make clearer.

the essence of nagi's character is his extraordinarily unmotivated nature. to him, everything was a pain. yet over here we see him acknowledging that he does actually care about his lock off, and that his efforts to supress those feelings failed.

this is so interesting to me because couldnt that mean that this is nagi's way of coping with his issues? suppressing it, pretending he doesn't care, even when he does? this is crucial to consider when you remember a big part of his character is finding everything to be a pain/bothersome and that he simply doesn't care about most things.

im not saying that he is secretly motivated and finds interest in all the things he claims are a pain, since that is obviously not the case and there are truth to his words. im saying there are certain things he might be pushing away, in fear of facing it. more specifically, forming connections with people.

nagi has made it clear time and time again that he has no interest in befriending others, its a pain, as he says. when reo first approached him, nagi was dismissive and brushed him off. it took a while before nagi came around.

why you may ask? reo wouldnt stop bugging nagi, and was shown to be extremely dead serious about wanting to play soccer with nagi. which nagi ultimately picked up on. reo even spoils nagi without complaints. and even though its hard to see at first, nagi DOES consider himself a pain, as he asks reo why he keeps hanging out with him when he's so unmotivated. this shows insecurity. nagi has pushed people away his whole life - because he thinks forming connections is a pain, or so he thought. perhaps it is a pain, but only because he believes no one can put up with him.

he voices out the words 'its a pain' often, and i believe this is his way of almost shielding himself from that insecurity. because it hurts less when you dont try. its okay if no one is able to appreciate him for who he is, because its not like he tries anyway. its a pain, after all.