Nail Travels

[nailtravels]

Welcome back to Clayfest Tour 19 and the quick turnaround to the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park with the inaugural Suwannee Rising Music Festival. Rise up! Spring is the time to be in North Florida and we’ll be here for all of them from Brainquility to Spring Reunion, Suwannee Rising to Tipper. This heralds back to an earlier spring and the Bedouin trade outpost that smelled vaguely of burnt pig bone. You can still smell it, if you try. Festival season begins right here while the rest of country still shakes off their winter cobwebs. Suwannee Rising bought out many of the Bear Creek and Wanee faithful and their distinct vibes could be felt as early as the pre-pre-party. Both of those festivals had reputations for mad love, insane ragery and professional camping prowess. This line-up covered several different genres of fantastic music with greats like Moe and Oteil Burbridge joining with Lettuce, Dumpstafunk and many more to offer up a weekend of music and fun with great friends, old and new. Welcome to the inaugural Suwannee Rising: Call of the Buttscratchers.

Come home to Hobo Kamp.

Lucienda Rosalita and Baitbucket headed south out of Roanoke on their way back to the Live Oak forest. Bluegrass spilled out of the Pioneer as they cruised along the rolling hills of southern Virginia. They were in Clay’s van, which Darth Khaleesi had recently gifted them. It replaced the Adventure Wagon which, only days earlier had been left for scrap on the side of I-75 at Paine’s Prairie, just south of Gainesville. On his way to go tuna fishing in Louisiana, Corporal Turner reported that she was no longer sitting on the side of the interstate. Now they cruised along the same road, in the same vehicle that had carried the original Shawsvegas Mafia to this park that he loved so many times. Now his ashes sat on the dashboard right next to the Alabama cap. You cannot make this stuff up.

Darth Walthall and Moonshine Gary, Suwannee Rising 2019

The week in Roanoke had been full of tears, moonshine and music. From dancing cowgirls to vomit on the Appalachian Trail, it had been a blur of smoky bars and acoustic guitars. Not Baitbucket’s Larrivee of course. The rumors that it was waterproof proved to be unfounded after it spent the night in the pouring rain of Live Oak. He’s why we can’t have nice Canadian guitars. In Virginia, the blueberry moonshine and Knob Creek flowed like a river and the music began each day even before the sleep boogers had been cleared.

Virginia is for thugs.

They arrived at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park Tuesday afternoon and pulled down the Hippy Trail toward the Hobo Kamp. Sarah and Sarah had been reserving the space since Suwannee Spring Reunion and the line of hanging clothes completed the Hobo Kamp theme. Sarah had dug a trench to hide the contraband electricity, which would be used to power the stolen Christmas lights and the towering death clown. Baitbucket still wasn’t sure if we was going to buy a ticket, work the festival or simply not care. He was widely regarded as a kamp body and spent most of his time around the fire contributing to its gibberish. It wasn’t until Wednesday even that the call came through inviting them to cover the festival for the website. Perfect timing. The “small-dog” metaphor could now be passed over for one with a bigger, more sparkly footprint. After all, this is our park and last checked, when we’re here, we’re supposed to go pretty big. Once again, they were legit and would have the VIP passes needed to efficiently maneuver the folds of the festival. Game on.

For this festival, the entire Suwannee Rising Kamp Happiness Hobo Kamp was run completely by girl power. There was such a wealth of strong, beautiful women that the entire facility appeared virtually overrun. With surprise visits by Kamp Happiness founders, Spacebug and Darth Walthall, newcomers like Holly, Margo, Roxanne and Jessica added much-needed spice and networking foundations were put in place with Jodie and the thugish brutes known as the Buttscratchers.

How is one supposed to properly network with new neighbors? Welcome to your field. Welcome to our fire. The best way to introduce yourself to neighboring  campers is with a gift. Sparkly rice crispy treats or ham and egg sandwiches are just a couple of ideas, but gifts of any kind are a fine way to get the wheels greased between neighbors. Otherwise, encroachment issues may arise and in a forest of 800 acres, that’s a bad look. Make sure safeguards are in place so as to avoid unfortunate lapses in communication. It’s fun when two small fires becomes one big one.

Run, don’t walk. It’s the attack of the Buttscratchers. This Wanee procession has been raging just south of the lake for years. Listen for their haunting call as you wander by the sweet spot, next to the sound board, on your way to the rail. Their bar serves everything on tortillas and it’s always the last stop of the night. Jodie could be found chumming the road with glow sticks and then setting up her gear for some wook fishing. Serious anglers, the slot for wooks (phisha wookinus) in April throughout Suwannee County is five to seven feet. Aggregate bag limit is three per person. Be sure to harvest responsibly and help protect our remaining wook rookeries.

A Day in the Life of a Buttscratcher

8:12 am:  The light fog hung over the tents throughout the forest as only the earliest birds began to stir. Special Ed was already up brewing the coffee and preparing for the first acoustic jam of the day; He’d begun to smell like a Polaroid plant and it was agreed he should take a page out of Waffle’s book and consider an old fashioned trucker’s shower.

10:10 am: As the second wave of late-night revelers began to roll out, Margo ran down her battery for the second time during the breakfast jam. It’s a rule, Floozies fans should just camp together. Is it too early to get greasy and low-down? I think not grasshopper. Visit her spot, Cool Beans Coffee next time you’re in Marietta, Georgia.

Suwannee Rising 2019: photo by Sarah Fortier

12:12 pm The Kamp Happiness courtesy vehicles remained in operation for most of the festival. Sarah’s golf cart served to transport team members as well as locate groundscores and firewood. The second courtesy bike disappeared sometime during the festival. Last seen, it was with Chandler, who had been already sucking contraband electricity from Sarah’s contraband electricity. Who steals from the bike thieves and where are all the courtesy vehicles ending up? Sounds like some kind of mystery to be sure.

Thank you Sarah Fortier for this gallery of serious whimsy. Look for her work when nailtravels heads to Floyd, Virginia for the culmination of Clayfest Tour 19. The world is yours. Also thanks for helping to reserve the Hobo Kamp for the rest of the flotilla.

Easy E, Suwannee Rising 2019: photo by Rose McGuire

Chandler, Suwannee Rising 2019: photo by Roxanne Epstein

5:34 pm: Baitbucket had removed his governor and the moonshine began puddling in the bottom of his feet. It was far too late to change anything. The good work had been done and there was only time to sit back and wait for the white lightning to fill the cavities of his head hole and make a mess of things. By the time he threw himself from the moving golf cart, his vision had begun to get all “wiggly”. His head slammed into a tree stump but his face had been spared by his new groundscored sunglasses. The last time anyone saw him his face was covered in drool and his shirt was getting ripped off in strips of torn, colored cloth. As he offered an umbrella apology to everyone the next day, he chalked up the entire nasty incident to the effects of sustained and intense grieving.

This next gallery is from our sister and professional ukulele picker Arielle D’Ornellas. For a musician she’s one heliconia of a photographer. These shots will explain why she stands head and shoulders above the rest. Visit her social media platforms on Facebook and Instagram and be sure to catch her band as they play at Orange Blossom Jamboree later this month.

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Thanks to Suwannee Rising for including our team in the inaugural fun. The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park is the perfect place to unwind with music and friends. We look forward to many more years working together in the park to make it a special venue for everyone to enjoy. Thanks to Roxanne Epstein for helping with photography and mimosas.

Thank you Shane Turner for having a mind to catch a soapfish with a net. You will be missed.

Keep up with nailtravels as we slug through the summer of lost rednecks and Clayfest 19. Get ready for Tipper&Friends, Suwannee River Jam and Backwoods Music Festival in Ozark, Arkansas. Don’t ever look back.

The Inaugural Suwannee Rising: Call of the Buttscratchers Welcome back to Clayfest Tour 19 and the quick turnaround to the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park with the inaugural Suwannee Rising Music Festival.

[nailtravels]

Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain

Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain

The heavily anticipated fall line-up for Backwoods at Mulberry Mountain is here. As fans speculated over the past few months, the Executive Producer of Backwoods, Will Royall, has been finalizing what some are saying to be the best Backwoods lineup yet! nailtravels is proud to be covering the event and bringing the Kamp Happiness Hobo Kamp with all of its fun people and silly weirdness.

Mulberry…

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Whether you’re a greenhorn or a bonefide festival warrior, every trip is completely different. The subtle waves and troughs within the extended patterns of the festivarian season can be serious and ultimately transformational. When real life rears its ugly head into the glamorous world of camping/music festivals, what’s to be done? When the puddled mannequin of Bacchus falls right off the roof of the van what’s a hobo to do? One can choose to slug down inordinate water jugs of moonshine and cry tears of forlorn anguish into the forest. Take moonlit golf cart rides through distant fields, reminiscing with beloved comrades. Sing at the top of the voice hole with Nikki Tally or chemical bluegrass around the late-night campfire. When you put it all together it’s called Kamp Happiness and this train to glory has arrived at the Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: Hobo Kamp.

Consider yourself very lucky the rest of the Shawsvegas Mafia got called away on business. They play very well with others.

Kamp Happiness Hobo Kamp, Suwannee Spring Reunion 20129: photo by Katie Egger

Everybody just relax. While there are always variations, all festivals share some common characteristics. Fingernails get broken and dirty. Someone finds a tick in their nether regions. The courtesy shuttle gets lost and sling shots are brought in to hang the lights in the canopy. While it doesn’t always rain, there are always puddles. Wet or dry, the music lives here and it’s always up early and ready to shovel lava rocks. Whether it’s Billy Strings or  on the Amphitheater Stage or Special Ed gettin’ washed in the blood around the campfire, Suwannee Spring Reunion has always been and continues to be one of the most special opportunities for families and tribes to get together for distinctly unique brand of camping and music adventure in the woods of Live Oak, Florida.

In every sense, this festival is a family reunion. Extended cousins came from all over the country to join together in compounds of tents and rvs to celebrate their love for each other while getting down to some of the finest home-grown music around. Down from Valdosta comes the crazy uncle with the same name as his dog. The lunatic brother and his wife arrive from Mexico Beach and God knows what kind of extended reprobates would be joining from Jacksonville Beach. But blood is blood and you don’t get to pick your family. Except this time you do and the Kamp Happiness Hobo Kamp Installation continues to grow with new cousins and insane red-headed step-children everyday.

Chemical Bluegrass, Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: photo by Katie Egger

“Quit pullin’ on the jug. I’m going to need you in the field tomorrow.”

The morning golf cart parade has arrived under the clothesline, covered with tour shirts drying in the rain. Welcome to Hobo Kamp where severe fancy glamping has been perfectly balanced with an almost thuggish, liberal sensibility. These are the chosen ones. Living freely in the dirt of the forest, passing time slowly. The meals are cooked in the Dutch oven over the campfire where friends gather to sing or tell lies. The blinking lights, hammocks and pleasure palaces are bookended by inflatable clowns, rivers of shine and groundscored furniture. When it rains, she gets wet. Dirty feet and flapping tapestries are the order of the day. It may seem loose and untethered but there is an distinct, underlying order to the entire operation. Like an anthill. No real rules to be sure.

Where, you may ask, is the Adventure Wagon? Oh weary traveler, she is lost. From Houston to Mountain View, from the Quinault rain forest to Tonkawa Oklahoma, she is gone to her final reward. Left on the side of the road at Paine’s Prairie, with rods blown and smoke billowing. The final death rattle could barely be heard over the Jerry Garcia Band playing “Let it rock.” Lucy and Baitbucket rescued from the wilds of Old Florida by Miah and Kattie Waffle. Living well at Hobo Kamp but without a means of transportation, things were sure to get sporting. Would homesteading be an option or as with most homeless gypsies, would they have to eventually retreat further into the swamp? Lucienda Rosalita was in a mood. The cool nights left the open aired mediation tent chilly and, in her opinion, rather “exposed”.

Billy Strings, Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: photo by Sarah Fortier

As a young man he may have believed that there was some hidden, underlying set of rules when it came to the festival arena. He was inexperienced at such things and had someone told him something was expected or assumed, he might have believed it. Now he was older and knew better that such things really did not exist. When that hippy Gypsy, next door to the Poncho Tree mandated the kamp not play cajons or Jimmy Buffett, it was Scotty Smiles who would “augment and refine” those rules all day on Vassar Sunday. Can there a leashless world with mutual respect? There are no unwritten rules. There are only real rules. Like don’t carry contraband in Nelson County.

For the camper who needs peace and quiet at any time during the festival experience, the Hobo Kamp may not be the place for you. The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park has over 800 acres of property for which to kamp. If your can’t sleep to the sound of lopey bluegrass or the cackling shrill of Sunshine and her hens then perhaps you might consider a spot further back in the woods or grassy knoll. There are so many beautiful camping spots at the park. Why put yourself in the center or the silliness if you’re going to have an opinion about what anybody else does? Forgo all expectations. Lower the bar and not care so much. Have you really seen what these rednecks are capable of in the wee hours of the hidden forest? It can absolutely boggle the mind.

Late night bluegrass, Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: photo by Katie Egger

Hobo Kamp Hours of Operation: 24 hours-7 days a week with kamp representatives available at all times. Whether it’s Eddie’s earlybirds or the late-night dab lab, the shop is always open. Every once in a blue moon, there might be an hour or two of quiet, but don’t come expecting it. For the camper who needs to be in the broth but also wants to sleep quietly, there’s always earplugs. Pack carefully. Bring soup. Make good choices.

The Spirit of Suwannee Music Park is a special place for a great number of people. The weather, the music and the fellowship make this one of the premier music/camping venues in the country. Visit their website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram. It’s like Horning’s Hideout except one can bring in crates of Knob Creek. This is the wiggle room. People come here to remember and their relationship to the place is separate from both the people and the music.

Pickin’ chair, Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: photo by Sarah Fortier

In this episode of gibberish and whimsy, we explore the unwritten rules of a festival or the real possibility that there may not be any. When is it too early to crack the whip? How late can the campfire music linger before tents begin hurling insults? Most of the time this forest is empty and quiet. When pushing up against hundreds or thousands of other festivarians in the forest, things can sometimes get a little weird.

Hobo Kamp Rules?

Body Slam Breakfast: Apparently, there is no golf cart Stevie Wonder after ten o’clock. We are definitely going to have another look at that. It can be understood that folks at a “folksy” kind of festival might want to just listen to bluegrass music, but in this modern era of diverse line-ups and audiences, we can expect to be introduced to some new and exciting influences. Katie Magic’s Breakfast Jam kicked off the next morning with “Shoop” by Salt and Pepa>Body Slam by The Floozies. More Breakfast Jams to come on the playlist and, as always, your input is appreciated. What would be a good song for the breakfast jump up?

Golf Cart Parade: Whether it’s with the Kendalls, Ted, Kent, Patrick or Sarah and Sarah, the golf cart lane will please remain clear at all times. Golf carts are the wizard’s broom that makes cross-camp travel possible. Where is the painted bridge or the lost hay field? These can be exciting excursions with the right guide? Even if you’ve had a felony, you’re still allowed to drive a golf cart. You just can’t own a fire arm.

Suwannee Spring Reunion Silliness: photos by Sarah Fortier

Audience Participation: The Kamp Happiness House Band working day begins as soon as Special Ed gets done with the coffee and ends as soon as the guitars get rained on. Thanks to Mitch the mando picker and his family band for turning the Sunday night bluegrass jam into a roaring session straight out of the revival tent. Other notables around the fire were band members from Donna the Buffalo and Billy Strings. It’s just nice when everybody plays together.

The Spring Reunion Sunday night jams at Slopperyland, Quicksilver, Kamp Happiness and a slew of other smaller pickin’ circles remained feisty throughout the night and the string sounds lifted high in to the forest. This party offers one of the best opportunities to play and listen to home-grown campfire music. It’s no joke.

Are you easily influenced?

The River Exit Strategy: With no transportation, one should always consider traveling the old way, leisurely down the ancient Suwannee River. Or down the Coochie? Yes, son the Withlacoochee. A ten-day jaunt to where the river meets the sea. Be sure to pour rum in each ear to kill the river critters. Also, remember Suwannee Springs. Right across the road, this natural freshwater spring offers campers a place to wash their souls in its mystical, healing waters.

Diversification Clause: As a kamp family continues to grow, it’s membership becomes increasingly diverse. This is one of the characteristics of a strong family and there are sure to be growing pains. Whether it’s mistakenly bringing a ladder when someone clearly asked for a lighter (pronounced ladder) or the proper spelling of “jon’t to?” variances in speech and behavior should be expected. If Linda-Joy or Dr. Thermometer say, “reefa” or “pot-sticka”,  context clues should be used to help better understand the vernacular.

Courtesy Vehicle: At all hours the Kamp Happiness courtesy vehicle is available for use. Please return the bike when you’re done. It sounds so simple but somehow the idea is flawed. To where are all the bikes disappearing? Maybe the English girl took them? Jolly good idea. It would have to wait until the next morning, when she answered the door and in her lovely English accent asked, “Would you like a coffee and a dab?” This girl is obviously innocent. And her man who likes taking “heroic” (5g) doses of fresh mushrooms before diving into the river. The whole crowd had been known to dabble but nothing like those animals, the Buttscratchers.

We’ll get to them later.

Thanks to DreamSpider Music and Events for inviting us to be part of the fun and congratulations on that beautiful baby.

Thanks to everyone who contributed photos for the article. Especially Sarah Fortier and Katie Egger whose photography talents are a real pleasure to exploit. Keep up with Sarah as she joins our team covering Floydfest and visit Katie’s site at smileforcamera.com. Like her social media sites at Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.

It’s fun to watch young people growing into kamp moms. To be so delicate and beautiful, Sarah will season chicken with dirt and ash and drink crotch whiskey before heading out to groundscore broken furniture all day. Katie managed not only to hold it together for the entire weekend, but pretty much joined her mother, Sunshine’s side as one of the butt-kickinest women in the tri-camp area.

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Kamp Happiness and nailtravels would like to invite all of our extended family to join us this festival season in celebrating the life and passing of our brother Clay Walthall. The original Shawsvegas Mafia was an upstanding father, husband, son and Kamp Happiness founding member, He was a nailtravels corespondent, covering events such as Wanee, Hulaween, Floydfest and Brainquility and when he was geared up for a late-night Bassnectar show, there was going to be a shift in the underlying tectonic plates.

In honoring his memory we hope to exemplify the qualities that made him so special; friendliness, respect, forgiveness, courtesy, big fun and a humble ability to love that was virtually unmatched. One thing is for sure, he would never let anyone around him get hurt.

Look for our team at Tipper and Friends Moonlight Gathering, which he would likely have been attending. He always said, “I’ll be in Kamp Happiness so long as I can camp with the wooks.” After that, we’ll be found at Backwoods Music Festival in the near future.   #clayfest19

Suwannee Spring Reunion 2019: Hobo Kamp Whether you're a greenhorn or a bonefide festival warrior, every trip is completely different. The subtle waves and troughs within the extended patterns of the festivarian season can be serious and ultimately transformational.

[nailtravels]

Summer Camp Music Festival 2019: Artist Announcements, Photos and Info

Summer Camp Music Festival 2019: Artist Announcements, Photos and Info

Summer Camp Music Festival 2019 May 24, 25, and 26, 2019 *The pre-party takes place on the grounds on Thursday, May 23rd, 2019 ummer Camp Music Festival 2019 will feature over 180 artists on 9 stages including 3 days of moe. and 3 days of Umphrey’s McGee. On top of all the live music, festival-goers have access to on-site camping, late night shows, musician workshops, a non-profit village, unique…

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Are you the kind of guy that likes to send dick pics? Be wary. These days, if you’ve not been given permission, the endeavor is being frowned upon and construed as lurid.

Do want to send a dick pic to someone but you don’t have one. Those days are long and gone. NIchola has made it easy for everyone to get on board and enjoy the free and easy feel or natural, beautiful dick pics.

Maybe you’re a man who wants to flirt with a woman.

A woman who wants to flirt with a woman.

A woman who used to be a man who wants to flirt with a man.

These dick pics are perfect for you.

Her silly-fun, lively and fun artwork merchandise is available right this second on cowcow.com, society6.com, redbubble.com, Zazzle.com. and sells her book- on Amazon.com

It’s about time. If any kind of personal art ever needed a face lift, it’s the dick pic. Ladies everywhere are complaining about the frequency and quality of the modern pic. Now, the penis whisperer herself and given us another tool to put in our arsenal against gross conformity. Has there ever been a time you wanted to send a dick pic but didn’t have one? Let Roxy Dicklove, the Penis Whisperer help you with all your dick pic needs.

Check out the Roxy Dicklove product line at redbubble.com.  They’ve got shirts, shoes, coffee mugs and cell phone protectors, All with your very own gorgeous dick pics.

Direct orders, comments or questions to Roxy and Nichola at [email protected].

Wow. That’s a lot of dicks. Keep up with nailtravels as we head north to Suwannee Spring Reunion and the Kamp Happiness family gathering. Watch for the unfurled banner at Suwannee Rising, Tipper and Friends and the Earth Day celebration April 27th at Riverview Park in Sebastian, Florida. Follow the flag as we head north for a Virginia summer with the Shawsvegas Mafia and their tribe of gentlemen thugs. Virginia is for handcuffs.

May peace be with you always and forever with infinite love and infinite gratitude

The Art of Roxy Dicklove, The Penis Whisperer Are you the kind of guy that likes to send dick pics? Be wary. These days, if you've not been given permission, the endeavor is being frowned upon and construed as lurid.

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Welcome to the beautiful world of art from the creative mind of Nichola Karma. Apparently an old friend of Thatcher Owen Mullins, they gave us a call a few months ago and asked if we could support some of her many endeavors. Family is family so here is light helping of her creative and distinctively beautiful butterfly books, product merchandise and, the best thing ever, her artsy-craftsy dick pics.

  Nichola Karma is a registered nurse that lives in the Santa Cruz mountains in California. Three years ago she started a peace project when one of her patients asked for a butterfly mask for his birthday. Since then she has made over 250 different masks and has given them to people all around the world as her way of planting seeds of peace. She has given butterflies to some of the most powerful healers on the planet who put them in their altars and prayed over them.

On the backs of each butterfly she has written “may peace be with you always and forever with infinite love and gratitude”.  With the butterflies , she’s done a three-month art show in the downtown Santa Cruz library children’s department. Alongside of making butterfly masks she also draws butterflies as part the Hopi Indian ceremony where they celebrated the butterfly and infused that consciousness into her art.

Nichola believes that we are living in very exciting times as we are evolving in our consciousness.  Her books can be found on Amazon.com. Nichola refers to her book as a living book as it organically evolves and gets re-edited whenever there is a change.

She sells her art on cowcow.com, society6.com, redbubble.com, Zazzle.com. and sells her book- on Amazon.com

It’s about time. If any kind of personal art ever needed a face lift, it’s the dick pic. Ladies everywhere are complaining about the frequency and quality of the modern pic. Now, the penis whisperer herself and given us another tool to put in our arsenal against gross conformity. Has there ever been a time you wanted to send a dick pic but didn’t have one? Let Roxy Dicklove, the Penis Whisperer help you with all your dick pic needs.

Check out the Roxy Dicklove product line at redbubble.com.  They’ve got shirts, shoes, coffee mugs and cell phone protectors, All with your very own gorgeous dick pics.

Wow. That’s a lot of dicks. Keep up with nailtravels as we head north to Suwannee Spring Reunion and the Kamp Happiness family gathering. Watch for the unfurled banner at Suwannee Rising, Tipper and Friends and the Earth Day celebration April 27th at Riverview Park in Sebastian, Florida. Follow the flag as we head north for a Virginia summer with the Shawsvegas Mafia and their tribe of gentlemen thugs. Virginia is for handcuffs.

May peace be with you always and forever with infinite love and infinite gratitude

The Art of Nichola Karma Welcome to the beautiful world of art from the creative mind of Nichola Karma. Apparently an old friend of Thatcher Owen Mullins, they gave us a call a few months ago and asked if we could support some of her many endeavors.

[nailtravels]

Brainquility Music Festival 2019: Senior Superlatives

Brainquility Music Festival 2019: Senior Superlatives

It had been three days since Brainquility Music Festival descended upon Live Oak and the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park when the pain returned. That nagging sensation that kept pulling her mind back to the forest and all her fun, festy friends. That came along with the sting of was likely a torn tendon in her right knee. No doubt about it, the drugs were finally wearing off. Oh, if only the Mafia…

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Suwannee Welcomes Brainquility Music Festival

Suwannee Welcomes Brainquility Music Festival

nailtravels and Kamp Happiness are proud to announce their participation in the 2019 Brainquility Music Festival at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park in beautiful Live Oak, Florida. It will be like returning to the scene of a crime. Or like going home. Where something really weird has happened. Why are there feathers and broken glass everywhere? That’s right, Suwannee welcomes Branquility Music…

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Kamp Happiness Kamping Hacks

Kamp Happiness Kamping Hacks

You’ve entered the violation. The process has finally failed. Maybe it’s the coach’s fault, or the offensive line. Most likely the blame will fall on Ben Simpson. The keystone at the bottom of the inverted pyramid has somehow come loose and the whole damn house of cards is crashing straight down to Chinatown. The wheels on the bus go round and round…until some silly fool forgets to tighten all…

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Everglades Roots Festival 2019: Ouroboros and Chemical Banjos

Everglades Roots Festival 2019: Ouroboros and Chemical Banjos

It’s been two weeks since the release of the ouroboro and the Everglades are still burning. Yo homie, have you never heard of a peacock bass? Welcome to Florida 2020: Pave the Glades. The new nailtravels headquarters on Fort Myers beach has failed yet another health department inspection and no one can seem to stay sober long enough to lash together a single cohesive sentence. My kingdom for a…

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Bonnaroo 2019 Music Festival Line-Up and Photos

Bonnaroo 2019 Music Festival Line-Up and Photos

The line-up is out for this year’s Bonnaroo Music Festival. You know it, you love it. Phish heads can rejoice to the high heavens and Avett Brothers fans can finally break out their twirling shoes. You know who you are. Maybe it’s Space Jesus, Griz or Odesza that makes you drip heavily and why not, this line-up is going to rattle the nails loose and, just maybe knock some sense into that head of…

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Floydfest 19 Voyage Home

Floydfest 19 Voyage Home

It’s time to start thinking about Virginia again. It’s for lovers you know. And pimps. Soon comes a time to return to the  forest thickets of Old Dominion and the celebrated home of Kamp Happiness and the Roanoke Mafia. Summer will be here before you know it and FloydFest will once again rear its silly head.

Voyage Home’ to FloydFest 19 is the latest annual offering of the southeast’s premier…

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The Joys of Netwooking

The Joys of Netwooking

Welcome back sports fans to the Watusi Express. From the lost lore of the beetle people comes a forgotten river of drivel. You must unlearn what you have learned. The prejudiced textbooks, Montessori schools and online degrees all fell decidedly short of getting the job done. The persistent rumors may well be true. There may be no simple and easy exit from this rat maze dubbed existence. Perhaps…

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networking

goldenroad goodies

dimples dyes

bizzare universe

wormtown

kamp happiness

dreamspider web

mi kulture

tri art collective

jeff and barry

steve’s  coasters

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The Spirit of the Suwannee Spring Returns

The Spirit of the Suwannee Spring Returns

It’s not too early to start thinking about spring. We know the kind of snow that’s falling in Asheville and Boone right this second. #snowaggedon2019 The struggle is real. It’s a perfect time to begin planning for warm days and cool nights under the stars and live oaks at Suwannee Spring Reunion at the Spirit of Suwannee Music Park.

Sunshine, what did we learn last year? We learned to make good…

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Wanee Festival: Thank You For a Real Good Time

Wanee Festival: Thank You For a Real Good Time

They waited with baited breath for the Wanee line-up announcement. It was soon to be coming down the pipe and everyone would get giggly with excitement about the mere promise of music to come. For this crowd, it really didn’t matter who was playing. They would find their way to Wanee Festival no matter who was rocking on the Mushroom Stage. And still they waited. It was beginning to get a little…

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Baitbucket slowly woke up and realized that both of his eyes were glued closed with yellow sick. It was Saturday morning in Fort Myers and he and Hambone were planning to head down to the first Everglades Roots Revival in Ochopee. Deep in the heart of the Everglades they were poised to hook up with Kamp Happiness and completely rage to a night of bluegrass music. Unfortunately that plan was moot for he had caught the germ. His whole body was riddled with aches and his head had been infected by some breed of swirling worm. He was broken like the Liberty Bell. For gosh sakes, the mountain had come to Mohammed. How could he ignore the Sunshine that would surely be present at that party, only an hour away?

His flesh was a bland grey and his eyes were dark sunken pools of pain. He whined to Hambone that he didn’t think he was going to be able to make it to the festival. Like his mother he never really got sick, so this was definitely an exceptional situation and the best thing he could do was to rest and allow himself to heal. It was Hambone who would come up with the final solution. “Give me twenty bucks to go buy rum and we’ll see how you feel after two drinks.” Baitbucket knew that his suggestion carried with it some merit so he paid the man and took a shower. The Bone returned and after two stiff Ron Rico Daytona Dashes, the clouds began to part and along with Lucienda and Luke Sidewalker, they were poised for departure.

The Everglades Roots Festival will host the best of Florida Bluegrass rooted music in the Heart of the Big Cypress swamp. Get ready for music, camping, and vendors hosted at Trail lakes Campground. $50 General admission. Primitive camping included in ticket price. Upgraded electric, RV ,Tent and cabins available through Trail Lakes Campground.  Find the party at 40904 Tamiami Trail E, Ochopee, FL 34141.

What To Expect at Everglades Roots Festival 2019:

Stoners: Stone crabs that is. Medicinal and recreational claws are in season. The Kamp Happiness installation comes equipped with pounds of delicious Everglades City stone crab claws. If you’re lucky enough to visit Sunshine’s VIP pavilion this year, make sure to bring your cracker and some Irish Whiskey. It will be the middle of stone crab claw season so head a little west to the Marathon at the corner of 41 and 29 for a sack of fresh, affordable  claws. Mother’s mostmilk to say the very least. Although tickets for the VIP pavilion have been sold out, a two pound bag of claws is likely to get you past our security team.

Grass is Dead, Everglades Roots Festival 2018: photo by Katie Walthall

Bluegris Y’all.

The Grass Is Dead: The Grass Is Dead are a bluegrass combo paying homage to the music and cultural legacy of The Grateful Dead, arguably America’s first folk rock band and one of the most influential musical artists of the last 50 years. The catalog of the Dead’s music is a gold mine for string bands and story tellers, and The Grass Is Dead have established themselves far and wide as premiere purveyors of this rich tradition of Americana music. Pickin’ and grinnin’ is what they do best, and they have been adapting Grateful Dead songs in their own bluegrass style since 1998.

Uproot Hootenanny:  This motley crew of admitted felons and East LA organized gang members bring their blend of Celtic jamgrass to the swamps of Florida. Recently detained in Jefferson County, Alabama for “moral turpitude”, their live shows are brilliantly choreographed and a necessary component of their court appointed community service. The fiddle player is considered dangerous and the use of lethal force in his apprehension has been approved by state and local authorities. From Deerfield Beach they bring their unique “chemical bluegrass” sound which has been heralded as a mix of Irish speakeasy gibberish and complete “cracker trash”. Ask Brian, the guitar player to show you his tattoo of Frida Kalo, affectionately called, “The Impuritan”.

#metoo

Skunk Ape Headquarters: The skunk ape, also known as the swamp cabbage man, swamp ape, stink ape, Florida Bigfoot, Louisiana Bigfoot, myakka ape, swampsquatch, and myakka skunk ape, is a humanoid creature said to inhabit the U.S. states of Florida, North Carolina, and Arkansas, although reports from Florida are most common.

It is named for its appearance and for the unpleasant odor that is said to accompany it. Reports of the skunk ape were particularly common in the 1960s and 1970s. In 1974, sightings of a large, foul-smelling, hairy, ape-like creature, which ran upright on two legs were reported in suburban neighborhoods of Dade County, Florida

              Darth Walthall and Moonpie, Everglades Roots Festival 2018: photo by Katisha Walthall

Visiting the Everglades allows you to explore a vast diversity of flora and fauna in different eco-systems: freshwater sloughs, marl prairies, tropical hammocks, pineland, cypress, mangrove, coastal lowlands, marine, and estuarine. There is a lot of area to discover at the Everglades, so it is vital to be prepared.

Sunshine and Lucienda, Everglades Roots Festival 2018: photo by Baitbucket

While still in its infancy, this festival has a real sense of community and family appeal because of its intimate vibe. By the time you leave, you will know just about everyone. Kids, dogs even women are welcome to come join in the fun. This secluded nature hideaway sits in the middle of Everglades National Park and faces south toward an endless expanse of saw grass, all the way to the Gulf of Mexico and Florida Bay.

Big Cypress National Preserve is a diverse landscape, where one can see cypress and mangroves, alligators, and panther tracks all in one day! Just like the diversity of the land, the National Park Service manages for a diversity of activities within the national preserve that national parks typically do not allow.

Etherweb lovers, visit the Everglades Roots Festival website for tickets and like their Facebook page.

Trail Lakes Campground: If you are a professional glamper, their native-style chickee hut is an opportunity to experience sleeping under a thatched roof up above the ground.  The prairie offers up a host of scenic wonders throughout the day, including colorful sunrises and sunsets as well as periodic wildlife.

Be sure to visit our good friends at Mi Kulture. Josh and Jessica specialize in designing and producing custom lapel pins, hats and pashMinas. They trade with other companies, so they always have a wide variety from which to choose. Visit their website and like their social media channels on Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest and Instagram.

The 2nd Everglades Roots Festival Commeth Baitbucket slowly woke up and realized that both of his eyes were glued closed with yellow sick.