nalyd ecitsuj thoughts

i think i could rule the world if i looked better

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Episode 2

My review on Ouija Macc’s solo album debut “Gutterwater”

https://soundcloud.com/trailerparkcinderella/gutterwater

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Listen to my first podcast

“The Allins” (2017) documentary 

iTunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/gg-allin-the-allins-documentary-trailer-park-cinderella/id1435737030?i=1000419410904&mt=2

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Check out my podcast artwork drawing heavy inspiration from Juggalo culture and one of my favorite tv shows “Trailer Park Boys”

ART BY GRIMBURTON69

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Nalyd - Scared (Official Music Video)

'Rated Ex' releases September 30th, 2014 Credits below Video Director: Amy Lee Video Producer: Roy Coleman Lyrics below Don't you feel scared? Don't you feel...

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Hell: The Prequel

I have the ability to captivate an audience if i wanted to. I just have to keep doing it, Keep producing more content and chipping away at it until I finally succeed. Success doesn't happen over a few sleeps but that mantra is redundant to most. I am diggin' and even if it takes me to an eternal regret because if that is the case then that is what I asked for after all isn't it

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VII. The Lucid Dreamer

Last weekend I was high for the 1st time in my entire life and I found myself less stressed and I was utterly baffled at how my worries and self-deprecating short cummings I feel every single day so easily faded away and seeped into my skin without being acknowledged as if my concerns were like black paint slowly drying on a cool summer evening. The euphoria which overtook my body was so liberating,I have never truly felt carefree and weightlessness like I did that night. My inner thoughts of subliminally trying to prove myself to the girl I love were no longer a priority. I dislike the fact I am trying to prove myself to her when I know confidently she has zero interest in me but I guess my life is a movie.

I had a dream about her

She was waking me up, She said "Dylan, I love you." "Dylan, the sun is out" "I watched the sunrise through the blind of our window as I held you close" In this dream of marijuana smoke and some far-fetched fantasy I felt so happy and content. 

This dream was so real

I felt like for once I made someone believe in me. I remember looking into her face and crying because I had never been more happy in my life

It was bliss, It was perfect, It was the way things should be but then I awoke in an odd slumber. I was in a small empty bedroom on the floor, I stood up and I was no longer higher than the trees and rambunctious as the bees. I was my worst nightmare, I seen reality and for once I made myself resent every decision I've ever made to make her hate me. I blamed the high,I blamed the butterfly wings for altering what might have ultimately changed the course of how things could have been. I remember looking into the mirror and crying because I had never been more sad in my life

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VI. One Year Later...

Today marks the one year anniversary of my 1st music release and I went back this morning and listened to it in full

[ youtu.be/VvVcAcon5nE ]

I sit and think to myself why am i wasting time 

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i am dead

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V. The Kids Like It

I have been writing compositions but not as rushed as I as occustomed to. Like writing out a plot and then boom recording it immediatly. Now I feel I have to write to a certain demographic. 

YOUNG/BLACK/TEENS and I think I can but I don't think it's "ME" doing it if I do. I am feeling very cookie-cutter and lost 

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IV. I Hate Being You

My Mom is impatient, as am I

My Mom is ignorant, as am I

My Mom is judgemental, as am I

My Mom is critical, as am I

My Mom is hated, as am I

My Mom is out of touch, am I

My Mom complains often, so do I

My Mom has wished me dead, I want to be

I hate being the spawn of someone who puts me down to bring me up. Compounded with the fact I'm already down on myself all because of you. Thanks Mother

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III. Negativity In Comments

I was conversating with my friend James in 1st block today. He was watching YouTube videos and which led me to promote my music. I choose the song "Bubblebath" one because it isn't as serious as if I had chose Dad,November 19th or 27 Club but this song was something he could laugh at becasuse I still have to keep my "funny guy" bit going self-conciously and I don't really know why I do it. He listened to it and chuckled as I expected but his curiosity led him to lcicking on other songs. He found Stalk and I gasped under my breath for some reason of which I'm too tired and ready for bed to explain. He listened to about a minute of the song and then read the comments. He read a comment that read "this is terrible"

Which was also the first time I had noticed the comment as well. I have been emotionally conflicted all day and have been contemplating giving up the profession and this comment sent me one step closer to the end of the road. At the moment if you asked me do I know what I want to do. I would say....I just don't know right now.

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Visit Original Link

"Pussy" is a song that I hate already. I completely understand the novelty because it's funny and essetially my answer to "Dick in a box" but doing tracks like this is what appeals to people and as in people i mean simple minded people. I'd appreaciate someone who enjoys "Rapture" "Lufkin" "Tim" (which are all songs that I have created and released in the past week or two) I'm sure older songs like "27 Club" & "November 19th" are honorable mentions but "Pussy" is the song I hope nobody finds first because it is so bleh and generic. Although I understand why someone would find this entertaining it makes me feel like I am doing a disservice and it hurts my image. 

"I smell pussy everytime I walk into my room, I smell pussy eveytime I walk up in yo neighborhood" - Nalyd Ecitsuj

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II. Empty Ears

Hi, It is 10:46 PM as I begin this blog I think to myself about people who are aware that I am an artist and have heard of any of my content. The people that come to mind are Roy,Brittany,Amy,Ronnie,Courtney,Jenny,Khalil,Marissa,Amber,Brian Bowels,Misty,Raven,Spurgeon,Tyrico,Amarius,Logan,Tyler,Sebastian & anyone else that I didn't mention must not be someone I want to impress with my talent or care about enough. It is not me being ignorant and ignoring anyone else but as my post said yesterday it eluded to me being a loner and not establishing a friendship. 91% of the people I mentioned above all found me alledgedly "good" "talented" but it boggles my mind as to why they aren't promoting me but would i do the same probably not

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I. Intoduction/ The Internet Trap

Hello, I figured I should make this internet archive for myself as

personal archive so i can look back at this in ten years and look at myself in more disgust than i do in current time.

or as introspective content from a person who respects my "talents" or lack there of in my music 

Regardless of why you are here i am impressed that you have scoured the internet to it's internal deepest end because i know for factual that if you've found me then you've found the true bottom of the barrel.I'll introduce myself as Nalyd for the sake of this but as I compose this it is 8:06PM on the twelfth of march. It as you could most likely assume or discover is the first post to this confessional blog.I don't wanna quirk the cliche' and rant about me being a musician and how it is my biggest wish and hope to break through a proverbial glass ceiling by surpassing thousands of other "starving artists" especially because with the ever growing populairty of the internet it is only easier for anyone to apply for an account on soundcloud and record things that rhyme and consider themself a "rapper". I dislike how I say that as if I'm on some higher level or as if I'm looking down on other people just like me who do exactly that. Rap. I ponder to myself often that I might be a joke because I listen back on things I have produced and it's either too mediocre and hokie or it is cringeworthy beyond belief. I can't seem to find my own image or cadence so I'm testing different forms of artists including Eminem,Kanye West,Drake,J. Cole,Kendrick Lamar,Pusha T,Tyler, the creator & others. I would say that I need a "gimmick" if I am ever going to be acknowledged but it feels phony to me and yet again i use the word "cliche". But it's a double edged sword because even the obvious has become the norm. Meaning, if my gimmick is not having a gimmick it shows that i'm boring or uninteresting and there is no intrest in that. When i look at these artists I say "Okay, why are these people successful" Well they all have a niche that they appeal to and they have fanbases. I frustrate obsessively every single day how I don't have a fanbase but then again I ask myself "Would you like you". I like to think the ability to put yourself in someone else's shoes [PROSPECTIVE] So I realize I wouldn't like me either. I'm white with the stereotypical white guy clean cut hair cut and I'm hairy and I don't look like an outcast by design or image but I don't have an appealing smile or body to catch anyone's attention. If this were a year ago I would say me being overweight and wearing skinny jeans would be the absolute 100% prrof reason to as why people ignore me or find me odd and uneasy to approach. Which I don't blame them because compound the fact that I have a very quick wit but not just in a comedic way but in an insulting way. I'm not shy or afraid. I actually am very exceedingly outgoing but my form of outgoing is not to kiss your ass but to introduce myself by having a backhanded compliment to say hi. Plus, my sarcastic tone impeeds that I am ungeniune. It's not about look (it is, but not that much) It is because i'm an asshole. The few friends I've accquired in my life also hate me because I don't know when to turn off the prick. Which it's not a switch either meaning it isn't an act. I truly am this way and I hate that I am such. I say I want friends but then I realize if I had them I wouldn't want to hang out with them because my insecuritites have built me to think I gotta be "on" and entertaining 24/7 and always cracking jokes and making sly comments. But that gets so redundant and annoying so they wouldn't enjoy it and I'll fake a laugh and smile like I care but I hate it just as much as they do. I just dislike the thought of being "boring". Which on the surface I am. I don't do drugs. I am afraid of getting in trouble because my mother will talk to me and I dislike any contact or communication with her because she doesn't understand me. Plus she gave me bad traits and that is a different entry for a different day. Anyways, I don't play sports or play current video games. I have no car and my main knowledges go towards WWE and myself. So when you talk about pokemon bruh I have no damn clue. When you say do I smoke weed and I respond no then that begs your question "Well, Damn Dylan what do you do".People ask me why i like cats. Truth is I really don't. The cat is symbolic for me being insecure and boring. Cat ladies stay cooped up in their house all day cuddling their dozens of kittens. That's a boring lifestyle and I could relate. I entitled this introductory blog "The Internet Trap" meaning lately (as in, the last 2 & 1/2 months) I have been completely infactuated with the fact my name "Nalyd Ecitsuj" appears clearly on search engine sites like Google & Bing. I got more excited when I seen my name appeared before the exact search on YouTube. I'm getting infused deeply with a subject I liked but didn't really think I would ever get involved in that being music.Now i'm like I need to beef up my discography, I need to get better at storytelling. I need to start writing original stories. I need to stop stealing bars and structuring for my own personal benefit. I need more "happy" songs. I need more hype songs. So much to say but I'm driving myself crazy that I am the only person at my high school that highs internet fame....a cheated diet version but internet fame no less and nobody even notices....