𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 @nancmii-blog - Tumblr Blog

{ 🇶🇺🇮🇨🇰🇸🇦🇻🇪 } with Komacda

komacda‌:

Just like that… it was all ruined. As the cable slipped from his fingers, he shut his eyes tightly to brace for impact. But it never came… He opened his eyes to see Chiaki holding the cable. She had saved his life, for now. He can’t help but laugh from the DESPAIR of it all. For the Ultimate Lucky Student, he didn’t know if this was good luck or bad luck. He was saved from death, but it was a death he wanted and deserved. He laughs under the tape until it just turns into screams. Screams because of the pain, because of the despair, because of his luck, because of anger… He wanted it to be over. He was ready for it to be over. He screams under the tape until he can’t anymore. Until he’s out of breath.

Once that stops, his shaking right-hand reaches for the tape. Blood drips onto his face as the knife’s tip slides across his skin. He can’t get his shaking fingers to cooperate. Finally, he manages to slip a fingernail under the tape and scrape the tape mostly off of his mouth. Now that his mouth was (mostly) uncovered, all that comes out of him are heavy, ragged, and pain-filled breaths. It hurts so bad that his ears are ringing. Even though Chiaki is right there, he feels utterly alone.

“You… Nng…!” He winces. It almost hurts too badly for him to quiet himself enough for speech. “J-just… let go and… w-win the killing game…. May-maybe… Uhhhg…” He moans. His heart is still racing and blood is still running out of his hand, arm, and legs. “L-luck would ha-have it that… you’re th-the trai…traitor…” Who cares if she isn’t? He should just accept this death. This death full of despair. Isn’t that what he was?

The room goes black for a second. God, why is he still scared? Human nature, right? Humans, like any animal, are meant to stay alive. Almost all instincts would have tried to stop him. But he forces his eyes back open when she asks why. His entire body is trembling, which does little to make talking easier.

“El-eliminate… d-d-despair….” Another shaky inhale. There are so many areas that hurt he has a hard time processing it. Heh, he always thought he’d be able to handle torture if it came down to it. Just another reason for him to have no faith in himself.

“It hurts...” The only thought spinning in his head leaves his lips. It’s gotta be his thighs or his hand. The left arm isn’t as bad. Looking down at his own body, he’d feel totally disconnected if it wasn’t for the pain. There’s a lot of blood. Despair. He’s dying. Despair. It hurts. Despair. He failed.

“Just leave…” He tells her.

Despite the madness of the situation she found herself in, she thought she might just understand. He learned the truth about himself and the others. This was his answer. Gamble on the traitor to win the killing game. Make her a murderer. She was surprised by her reaction. She got angry. Angry at him for doing all this, but even more angry at herself for letting him feel so isolated and desperate. Her only purpose was to help him and the others recover, and she kept failing again and again.

She sits beside him, her hand raised high over her head. Her fingers still wrapped around the cable. She’s truly at a loss for what to do, but at the moment she just wants to make it clear that she absolutely will not be leaving.

“Hey, Komaeda-kun. You must’ve learned something pretty bad, huh?”

She’s trying so hard to stay calm, but her voice still trembles slightly. He’ll die if she doesn’t do something, but first and foremost she needs him to calm down. She can’t help him if he’s going to fight her. She looks him directly in the eye because anything south of that is too brutal. She doesn’t want to look at the horrible injuries he gave himself.

“You should have talked to someone, I think.” The forced calm makes her sound almost robotic. “We’re all on the same side, right?”

She said as much, but it wasn’t really true, was it? She was separate from the others by nature. She was a traitor. Deception was as much a part of her being as any part of her body. A large part of that came from the knowledge that she had. The memories that the others lacked put her in a different category. Komaeda was finally on equal footing. Maybe.

“You sure you want me to leave? I’m just going to bring the others back here and they’ll take you to the hospital.”

#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#komacda

despairled-a-blog

;Welp, Might as well get this over with. I’m going to be leaving to go on vacation on Sunday night. I’m going to be pretty much without internet for the whole week after that, so I’m gonna be on hiatus on all blogs until I get back on the following Monday. I’ll try to get as much stuff done as possible in the meantime, but as usual, my time is limited, and I’m really sorry if I don’t get to your reply in a timely manner. as if I ever do lol

tl;dr I will be on Hiatus from August 6 through August 13th.

#{ 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚝 } -ooc-#;yeah I still have this blog #;sorry chiaki I'll give you the attention you deserve

Casual reminder that Chiaki definitely mains Jigglypuff in Smash.

#{ 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚝 } -ooc-

nancmii-blog

{ 🇶🇺🇮🇨🇰🇸🇦🇻🇪 } with Komacda

nancmii-blog

nancmii:

komacda:

His hand was steady for the first stab. The blade sunk deep into his thigh as if it hardly had to puncture anything. The knife tore through skin and muscle and he basically howled in pain under the tape. Despite the tape covering his mouth, he was breathing heavily against it. He held his breath as he pulled the blade out, another muted noise leaving him, this time a whimper. He tried not to think and he repeated the action, digging the blade into his thigh again. Another muffled cry and he pulls it out quicker this time. His entire body lurches back. That’s only two. He needs to do more. The pain was… worse than he had imagined. But he deserved it. He repeats this action a few more times on his left thigh, his entire body trembling as he removes the blade a final time. He can feel tears stinging his eyes.

He’s already tied, aside from his right arm. His left hand gripped the cord holding the spear dangling above him. With how much he’s sweating already, it would be so easy for him to lose his grip and accidentally kill himself. He refuses to look up at the spear dangling above him. It would only make him anxious.

Everything had been going according to plan. The bomb threat, the reactions of the others, leading right to here. His final show. He would overcome the despair of his past and wipe out despair in the name of hope. That’s the only way he could… punish them all.

He has to catch his breath. The pain from where he had already stabbed himself a few times was making tears well up in his eyes. Sweat was pouring off of him and blood was covering the floor by his leg. He made sure to tighten his grip on the cord. His right leg would be harder. The angle would be more awkward. Regardless…

With a quivering hand, he took the first plunge into his other thigh. The muffled cry makes him choke. He feels a lump in his throat. It’s hard to catch his breath when he can’t breathe out of his mouth. He tries to do the rest quickly. Quickly so he can’t process the pain. Once he pulls the blade out of his leg the final time, he can’t help but scream under the tape. He lays back down, knowing he has to do more damage. His body is sweating, bleeding, and shaking. He tightens his grip on the knife and the cord.

His heart is beating out of his chest, his breathing is fast and erratic. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts. It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts It hurts. That’s all that goes through his head. He can’t even think straight. He tries to blink away the spots covering his vision and ignore how the floor seems to be moving like it would on a boat. His head hurt. Tension maybe? He’s short of breath and dizzy. He has to swallow a small amount of bile that works its way into his mouth.

His left arm. He makes sure his grip on the cord is as tight as possible until his knuckles are white. He stabs the blade into his left arm, letting out a soft whimper. And from there, he uses all the strength in his right arm to pull the blade up to his shoulder, the force causing blood to shoot out and splatter onto his face. He can’t stop a few cries from leaving him. His left arm is shaking violently, and he needs to make sure he doesn’t let go of the cable.

All that’s left is his hand. He has to perform this perfectly. But before he can… A voice suddenly reaches him.

Wide eyes shoot toward the girl. He has to blink a few times since his blurry vision and the darkness make him unsure of who it is. Why… Why didn’t the fire start? Was this his luck? Why? WHY WHY WHY? It ALWAYS saved him! Even when he WANTED to die. His first response is to finish. Ignoring Chiaki, he props the knife against the Monokuma doll. If he can’t save the traitor… if they solve the murder… What was this all for? Is this… utter despair?

He slams his right hand down onto the knife, screaming through the duct tape as his body, aside from the one holding the cable, goes limp. If he just passes out and drops the spear onto himself… Would she pull it out? Would it kill him instantly? No, right? If it didn’t and she pulled the spear out, would she be his killer? Would luck have it that she’s the traitor?

Maybe he should just… let go. Despair-filled eyes glance at her. Someone as observant as she could probably notice is grip loosening on the cable.

Chiaki’s hand responded faster than her brain could. Up until now, it would probably seem she was too slow to do it, but her honed reflexes finally showed themselves. Before Nagito could drop the spear, she caught the cable. It stopped inches from his body, but that was enough. It was a narrow window, but she managed to parry. She was the Ultimate Gamer, after all.

She almost couldn’t make sense of what she was seeing. Komaeda was hurt. Bad. She expected that she might get used to all the blood from the previous murders, but this was different. He was still alive. He wasn’t just bloody, but bleeding. Dying. It struck her how the blood was the only thing she could smell. She couldn’t look directly at the wounds on his body, the wounds he’d inflicted on himself. It looked too painful. Why would anyone do this? If he had been dead she would probably manage to stay more collected, but this... This was insane.

“K-Komaeda-kun? What are you-?”

Suddenly her mind shifted into focus. Was this Nagito’s plan all along? To kill himself and stage it as a murder? It would make sense in a way. He was chasing the traitor with such ferocity that everyone would assume that they killed him. Maybe the whole bomb thing was just a trick to set this up? They couldn’t guess who the traitor was, and she couldn’t tell them. It would have been a death sentence for everyone. MAybe he assumed that the traitor would out themselves to clear their name for his murder? Of course, he couldn’t know that the nature of being a traitor makes that impossible for her

He couldn’t have wanted to kill everyone on the island, right?

“You did this... To yourself? Why?”

He had to get to the hospital. Monokuma wouldn’t help since he wasn’t the one who injured him. She wasn’t sure if she could drag him all the way there without hurting him worse. If that happened...

No. It wasn’t going to go down like that. This was her chance. She could finally stop a killing. Save a life. That’s all she really wanted. To stop feeding these people to Despair. Even if they’re the ones doing it to themselves.

She couldn’t help but wonder if he... remembered.

#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#komacda

{ 🇶🇺🇮🇨🇰🇸🇦🇻🇪 } with Komacda

Life on Jabberwock island had come to a violent crescendo. In an instant, it went from the usual air of quiet suspicion into full-on chaos. Apparently, Nagito Komaeda had hidden bombs with enough firepower to level the entire island somewhere in an effort to expose then traitor among them. Despite the madness that had engulfed the once quiet island, Chiaki Nanami quietly mourned. Her daily ritual had been forever taken away from her when Nagito destroyed the arcade machine in the lobby.

She was the traitor he was looking for, and so far her efforts to expose herself had been fruitless. She was physically unable to tell anyone her true nature, but if remaining hidden would lead to people being hurt she would just have to find another way to be revealed. After all, she couldn’t forgive killing. If she could prevent it, she would gladly pay whatever price she had to.

She had been poking around the factory on the last island. After all, if there were so many bombs, how could Nagito possibly move them to another island? It would be hard enough to drag them all from the army base to here. Honestly, she hoped that she could find Nagito and just talk with him. Maybe if she could do that she could calm him down.

Before she could check the factory proper, her attention was snatched away by an out of place noise. A muffled cry coming from the storage room.

“Komaeda-kun?”

It was his voice. No doubt about it. For some reason, the sound of it made a pit in her stomach. She hoped it wasn’t the case but she couldn’t shake the thought that this was another murder. She hurried inside, apprehension only slightly slowing her down. Whatever was happening in this place, it was out of sight. Maybe behind the curtain?

#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#tw; violence #tw; self harm #tw; attempted suicide

@ultimatetalentless from here.

❝ Of course. I’m going to stay with you as long you want me around.❞ To be perfectly honest, he didn’t want to be alone either. Hinata could tell that she was frightened, and so was him even if he wasn’t going to admit aloud. Someone had to keep some degree of self-control, and today it was his turn. Stepping closer, the boy quietly excused himself as boldly taking a place by her side hoping that the gesture would bring her some comfort.

Inevitability. Of course, she had known since her life began that she was temporary. A means to an end for their recovery. Her nature as a traitor was such that there would always be a distance between them, and yet... the thought of them leaving, of him leaving made her feel cold. What did it mean to be shut down? Was it worse than being by yourself? She wanted to burst open, to tell him all about it. To tell him that no matter what happened, she wouldn’t be leaving this island with them. She couldn’t. She wasn’t the sort to unload on somebody like that, but worse than that was the programming.

Even though in her head she knew that it would be this way, her heart wouldn’t hold still. She wanted more than anything for her friends to be okay again. To break free from despair and set forth on their own path. But... She couldn’t go with them. Was it selfish to want more? Was it even possible for her to feel this way?

What a joke. She was supposed to help them find hope, and yet in the process, she had grown so comfortable with them. With him. All she had was right now, and she couldn’t even be fully happy about it. Tomorrow was always coming, and tomorrow could be the day she wakes up alone. She hated that she needed him to comfort her, wasn’t that the whole reason she existed? To comfort them? To make it feel okay? How could she do that when she felt so...

“Hinata-kun... Do you think... Uh... What are you gonna do when you get off this island?”

#{ 𝘐 𝘏𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘠𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 𝘏𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘺 } -Hajime Hinata-#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#;ask and you shall recieve

nancmii-blog

Starter call!

Give this a like for a starter of varying length. Capping at 5 for now.

#{ Autoplay } -queue-#{ 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚝 } -ooc-#mutuals only

Starter call!

Give this a like for a starter of varying length. Capping at 5 for now.

#{ 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚝 } -ooc-#mutuals only

komacda:

Everything is temporary. This is something everyone must grow up and realize. Nagito may have been exposed to that truth earlier than others, but it didn’t make the reality less painful. In truth, Nagito’s actions made perfect sense to him. He knew no one else would ever understand. Even if had hoped the Ultimates would be different. Still, things could never work out for him. Regardless of his actions, Monokuma simply wouldn’t allow no killings to happen. The original plan had been for him to be the first victim or the first killer. Once he told Teruteru about his plan, he was certain he would be the one to die. But as LUCK would have it, Byakuya took the fall for him. Hell, maybe this entire killing game was his fault. His luck of getting accepted to Hope’s Peak turned into the awful curse of those he adored killing each other. Maybe part of him wanted to be the first victim to avoid that reality.

Still, the diagnosis of his illnesses still shook him to his core. Nagito’s walls were built high, with whatever he could find to block the utter despair from flooding his heart and mind. Denial, hope, avoidance, self-hate. All of this served to protect him from the reality of his existence. Nagito was terrified of death, but he’d wanted to die for a long time. An endless mantra of ‘it should’ve been me’ played in his head when those close to him lost their lives. He doesn’t care about dying for the hope of the others, so long as he actually serves some sort of purpose. Yet, here is Chiaki… Extending her hand to him. It hurt to have her chipping away at his carefully crafted walls. The false happiness to forces upon himself every day…

“Ah… Nanami-chan, you are far too kind. Someone like me doesn’t deserve it.” Of course, he wants to be friends, but there’s no repairing the damage he’s done. “You really do deserve to be called a Symbol of Hope. Giving me a chance after what I did…” Even if it was for the best, in his mind. His plan certainly didn’t work the way he wanted it to. “I don’t think the others would be willing to forgive me. Not to mention… Never mind, it’s probably best if I don’t say.” Warning about his misfortune would likely make everyone even more wary around him. They may not let him help with things at all.

“The fact that you’re willing to forgive me and try to be my friend… It gives me a lot of hope. Maybe someday, someone will finally understand me. I already consider you guys my friends, even if it’s one-sided.”

“So... I guess we’re in agreement. We’re friends, Komaeda-kun.”

Temporary. That went for her, too. Regardless of whether she bridged this gap with him and they became friends it was always with the caveat that she could never be totally honest with him. That was the nature of a traitor, and a traitor was all that she was. What an odd feeling. Her words filled her with an odd twinge of guilt. They deserved better than a fake friend. She hadn’t really thought about it before, how her entire existence was a sham.

Why didn’t it bother her before? Was it possible that they were rubbing off on her?

“No matter what you did, we’re all in this together. It doesn’t make sense for us to fight each other... I think.”

She paused, processing this new information. The people who placed them in the simulation did so with pure intentions. Why did she feel guilty? Why was she sad? What was this?

“.... You should talk with the others, you know. You don’t have to tell them everything. Just be honest with them.”

He should talk to his real friends. Not a fake like her. He had the ability to be open with them, why did he choose to stay separate? Being by yourself was... The worst.

#komacda #{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)

komacda:

nancmii:

@komacda

“Yeah… I used to have nightmares about quicksand… More specifically that level in Mario 3 where the sun starts chasing you and you have to jump over that quicksand. What do you even do in a situation like that? I tended to avoid going out during the day because I was scared the sun might chase me.”

“Wait… how old were you? Nanami-san, that situation is totally unrealistic. it’s pointless to think about what you would do because it would never happen.” He doesn't even know enough about Mario to get the context anyway. “How long did you not go outside…?”

“Oh, uh... I was a little kid. Nightmares don’t have to make sense to be scary, I think. It wasn’t a huge deal or anything. I just didn’t go outside for a few months.” She paused and it sudden;y occurred to her that mentioning this might have been a bad idea. Judging from his reaction, that was apparently a really odd thing to say. “... Anyway, it went away when I learned that the sun was millions of miles away and it would take years to catch up with me, so...”

#komacda #{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-

@komacda

“Yeah... I used to have nightmares about quicksand... More specifically that level in Mario 3 where the sun starts chasing you and you have to jump over that quicksand. What do you even do in a situation like that? I tended to avoid going out during the day because I was scared the sun might chase me.”

#komacda #{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-

komacda

ᴳʰᵒˢᵗ ᴵᶰ ᵀʰᵉ ᴹᵃᶜʰᶤᶰᵉ ⎣ ᶰᵃᶰᶜᵐᶤᶤ⎤

nancmii-blog

komaeda:

He sighs. He remembers Chiaki’s death. This person was… She was so close to the real thing. Her constant dodging is getting on his nerves. More than anything, he just wanted her to give him a straight answer. It apparently isn’t going to happen. He’s trying not to get too emotional. After all, this could go very very wrong.

But then the subject of memories came up. Nagito shook his head a little. School memories? Not really. The memories that were returning to him were scattered and confusing. Ultimate Despair. He had visions of himself doing terrible things. Hurting people for the sake of despair. The memories scared him. They felt like they couldn’t possibly be his.

“It’s way more complicated than that.” He tells her. His memories hadn’t come back enough to fully damage him, but there is that one memory with her.

He remembered her brutal death. As if it’s some distant nightmare. Maybe it feels harder to believe because of the fact that he’s looking at her right now. How exactly does that work, though? How can someone be alive and dead? What sort of trick is the Future Foundation using to manipulate them? Not that it matters much. Regardless of the manipulation, it was for the best for him to help the traitor. He had to destroy despair.

But suddenly, something clicked in his mind. He remembers seeing cameras everywhere. Clearly, the Future Foundation is watching. Maybe… Maybe Chiaki isn’t dodging, but answering discreetly.

“Do you think that the traitor could safely admit that they’re the traitor? I mean, that might put the Future Foundation’s goal at risk.” He can be subtle too. “I have information that would only be useful to them, involving memories they tried to erase.”

The more he thinks about this Chiaki, the more uncomfortable he gets. “Maybe they’d have to find a more subtle way of exposing them self.”

Finally. It seemed that she may be getting through to him. Komaeda was a lot of things, but he certainly wasn’t stupid. He was always one of the first to get to the bottom of any mystery. Of course, she couldn’t completely betray the Future Foundation, but she could nudge him in the right direction. They were getting close to common ground now.

“Oh, really? What kind of information?”

She’s proud of herself. She was usually really bad at any game that required her to read social cues. It was never enough to make her stop trying, and now it seemed she’d finally pushed past her plateau a bit. That didn’t shake the thought that she may be in danger, but it was still present in her mind.

Monokuma had gone to great lengths to portray the Future Foundation as a sinister organization that was responsible for all of the deaths that had happened up to this point. People had a tendency to hold onto the first thing that they hear and perceive it as the most reliable option. Convincing anybody that ‘World Ender’ wasn’t a threat would be difficult, but at this point, it might be her only option.

“I can’t really speak for anybody else, but... You might have a point.”

Another subtle hint. Would this really be enough?

#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)

komacda

Happy birthday Chiaki!

#{ 𝘌𝘭𝘦𝘤𝘵𝘳𝘪𝘤 𝘓𝘪𝘧𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘚𝘰𝘶𝘭 } -Chiaki Nanami-#{ 𝖣𝗂𝗀𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅 𝖽𝗋𝖾𝖺𝗆𝗌 𝗍𝗁𝗋𝗂𝗏𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗆𝗈𝗈𝗇𝗅𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍 } -Aesthetic-

@despairborne from ✖

“No. You’re the one that doesn’t understand.”

Well, look at the two of them! Just two digital girls. Only, at least Junko was created by her own free will in case she died. After all, the world would get so boring without her. She was too selfless to let herself, all of her, finally rest in peace. And now this virtual Nanami is acting all high and mighty. Funny. She can’t even smile at her. This entire thing is totally boring. This version of Nanami is almost as boring as the real thing. Though, she wonders if she can make a program meant to help give hope fall into despair.

“I’m basically God here right now.” She says, her tone full of nothing but boredom. “Your stupid rabbit friend is my bitch, and so are you and the Remnants.” She was gaining more and more power as things progressed. She only wishes she was able to see Naegi’s face as his attempt to save her little servants blows up in his face. That’s what he gets for investing in all that lame hope. The same hope this one tries to hold the bullshit ‘team’ together with.

“I’m willing to make you a deal, Nanami. I’m not a heartless AI or something. I gotta look after my own kind. So, give up on them. Help me break them all over again. Prove to me you’re loyal. Well, once I finish changing your programming, you’ll have to be loyal. But I figured I’d give you a choice first. So, are you even capable of a choice like that?”

“You’re giving me a choice? Why? If you’re so powerful, why not just...”

She can’t even finish that sentence. She wasn’t sure if she could even understand what changing her programming would do to her, and the thought of it made her feel ill. She couldn’t really explain why the thought of it was so repugnant, but if she had to it would be just one simple word. Violation. Her identity as Chiaki Nanami was a patchwork; her innermost self composed of cold logic and simulated feelings. On some level, she understood that. But she felt like her own person. How could someone tear that out of her? It struck her in this instance just how vulnerable she was. How vulnerable she always had been to this kind of interference. It stung.

Chiaki hated that this virus considered her to be ‘her kind.’ Like they were one in the same. Surely the virus was just a program designed to create despair, right? No real person could be like this. Whatever sparse information she had been given about Junko Enoshima seemed to point in another direction, but Chiaki simply couldn’t conceive of a real person like that. Someone dedicated to spreading pain and suffering for its own sake. Let alone someone who wanted to suffer like that.

She couldn’t, however, fight the feeling that she didn’t really have a choice. ‘Junko’ had made that clear already. Either comply or be forced to comply. She wasn’t sure which was worse. To work to sabotage her friends and make things worse for them and know it, or to do the exact same thing without knowing it. She just stood there for a while, transfixed. What was the right choice? She could run and tell the others, but she doubted Junko would allow her to get very far. This was like one of those games that just drop you in with no tutorial, except she doubted exploring this would be fun.

Finally, she looked back to the Ultimate Despair.

“Okay. Can I ask a few questions first? I’d like to know what I’m getting into. First off, what do I get out of it if I do help you? I get a reward, right? Fair’s fair.”

Her tone is as cool and even-tempered as ever, but behind her collected exterior, she burned with an unseen defiance. As long as she was still herself she could fight back, and she would. With everything she had.

#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#despairbourne

komacda

ᴳʰᵒˢᵗ ᴵᶰ ᵀʰᵉ ᴹᵃᶜʰᶤᶰᵉ ⎣ ᶰᵃᶰᶜᵐᶤᶤ⎤

nancmii-blog

komacda:

He’s angry.

A sigh leaves his lips. It does little to ease how heavy his chest feels. His arms are crossed. There’s no way that Nanami is alive. Even if his memories were disconnected and damaged. It was just a matter of time before they all fit back together like a puzzle. Would he fall back into Ultimate Despair like Mikan? Well, he didn’t plan on finding out. He had to have faith in his luck. He would have to hope that he died before that happened. And when he dies, he’ll be taking Ultimate Despair with him.

Little does she know, Nagito has no plans to harm the traitor. If anything, they were the only person here that deserved to live. But how? How could a dead girl be the traitor? The ideas that bounced inside his skull ranged from a little crazy to totally deranged. False memories of her death implanted in him somehow, her miraculously surviving, cloning, some sort of android. He knew the secret to the island would reveal the secret of who she was.

And he was so close to figuring it out. Honestly, the idea that this wasn’t real had crossed his mind. But it seems too far-fetched. But he’ll just have to let it go for now. Burning yourself out on one question doesn’t help solve the whole puzzle. Instead, figuring out a less complex issue can sometimes make the picture clearer. The mystery mattered to him because of personal reasons. But hope was the most important thing. Hope always wins. So the Future Foundation would destroy the Ultimate Despair. And him? Maybe he’d become Ultimate Hope after all.

“Really?” He scoffs. “We’ll just say that I remembered something. Something that you guys probably thought would stay a secret.” Vague, but he’s mostly watching her reaction. He wants to believe that this is someone really Nanami. That she somehow survived her terrible death. But despite his faith in hope, he’s not naive. He knows how unlikely that is.

“So confess. I don’t have time to play games with you guys anymore.”

She doesn’t answer right away. Was he trying to get her to say something incriminating? No... He wouldn’t use such an obvious strategy after it already tripped up Mikan. How could she satisfy him without confessing? He said he didn’t want to play games, but that’s the only option she had.

“Okay... Say you’re right. What does that mean?”

Another thinly veiled confession. She’s getting better at cheating, it seems. She almost felt guilty about it. What did he remember? That question ate away at her nerves. After all, there were parts of his memory that were better left in the past. It wasn’t just the risk she might face if he remembered his past as a member of Ultimate Despair that concerned her. She couldn’t imagine what it would be like to remember you did such terrible things. She was worried about him, too.

Chiaki wasn’t blind. She knew how precarious of a situation she was in. Komaeda was unpredictable at the best of times, and this was something else. She’d have to be careful about what she said. As much as she wanted to believe that Nagito wasn’t dangerous, pragmatism forced her to face the possibility that this was the next killing, and she was caught in the middle of it.

“Oh and... You remembered what exactly? You don’t mean your school memories, right?”

#{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#komacda

komacda:

This is a terrible subject. He doesn’t like talking about it. The fact is, Nagito is alive because of luck alone. His luck is like a slingshot, it gets pulled one way before shooting the other. Misfortune surrounds him until he is granted an unbelievable amount of good luck. Despair always turned into hope. It’s always darkest before the dawn. This is how Nagito survived. Uncertainties were irrelevant when there were patterns to be seen everywhere in his life. He knows the cancer has damaged parts of his brain as well. The doctors said it was probably related. But Chiaki doesn’t know about the dementia. Or whatever it was. Terms got passed around a lot, and he was still so very young.

“I AM happy. I’m happy just being around you guys. Even if you all hate me or distrust me.” Nagito wasn’t good at keeping friends. If his strangeness didn’t drive people away, his misfortune took them. “Somebody like me is hardly useful. If I could die being helpful to Symbols of Hope, isn’t that better than wasting away in some hospital bed?”

“I really do love you guys. I’m full of hope, despite all the despair around us. I don’t need to be with everyone to be happy. But Nanami-chan… Are you concerned about me? I’m honored if you are. Someone like me should hardly be in your thoughts at all.”

This was too sad. He’d already totally given up on himself. The weight that he was carrying must have been so crushing that he retreated from people. She didn’t want to pity him, but it just came naturally when he explained himself. She could kind of understand. She was just a part of the game, after all. Just assets and code that was only meant to be temporary in the end.

She did have a purpose to fulfill, though. It was for the best if she focused on that instead of thinking about herself. There’s no use worrying about what you can’t change. She didn’t think Komaeda was one of those things. Was it really okay to chip away at him? He was clearly coping in his own way. She didn’t want to impose on him, but she just couldn’t leave things as they were, either. It was too sad.

“Of course I’m concerned. I don’t want you to be alone, Komaeda-kun. It just seems like you’d rather be by yourself, I think. If you wanna be friends, you just gotta decide you want it. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself. . . Just be there for everyone when they need you and they’ll return the favor. . . I think.”

She wasn’t sure if what she said would actually help him, but it made sense to her. He had an incredible gift that he couldn’t see. He was a lot smarter than he gave himself credit for, and he could help everyone if he really wanted to. He was positive to a fault; maybe if he communicated it differently he could actually inspire confidence in others. He could be honest with everyone; there weren’t parts of himself that he had no choice but to hide. He could be friends with them without false pretenses. Unlike her. Why would he waste that?

“. . . I’d be okay with being your friend, at least. One is better than none, right?”

#{ 𝖤𝗇𝖼𝗋𝗒𝗉𝗍𝖾𝖽 } -Vrs 001)#komacda #{ 𝖦𝖺𝗆𝖾 𝗈𝗇! } -in character-

;Anybody feel like plotting an interaction between AI Chiaki and irl Chiaki? I love the idea but I can’t figure out the specifics of how that would work.

#{ 𝚂𝚘𝚏𝚝 𝚁𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚝 } -ooc-

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

𝘙𝘦𝘢𝘭 𝘩𝘶𝘮𝘢𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨