Right, this was meant to get done last week but life … sorry @daddywarbats hope you don’t mind the delay lol. Happy Birthday!
145 - I wasn’t going to wait around for you forever
Sakura wasn’t quite sure what she was doing anymore.
Really, she didn’t know. But she supposed, the way life had been the last few years … the argument could be made she’d lost the thread of what she was meant to be doing a long time ago.
Now she just seemed to be doing. Not thinking every single thing through and worrying about the little pitfalls that could cross her path. Obsessing over things from her past she couldn’t change or even getting in her own way.
She acted, with a little thought where it needed to be applied. Which, she admitted to herself, was probably more often than she thought it was given her husband’s proficiency for thinking absolutely nothing through ever.
But still, definitely less than how much she’d overthink as a teenager and young woman. And during the day she was getting better and better at resisting the urge to overanalyse where it wasn’t necessary.
Not everything was a life or death surgery, or organising the hospital’s budget right down to the office supplies. No, some things were did they want to cook or have takeout tonight? Which weekend did they want to go on a romantic trip next? Sometimes, decisions could be on a whim.
And like she said, she was getting good at that. Work was work, home was home and the two rarely overlapped. However, sometimes home got suddenly much more complicated than work and she was left in the situation she was in now.
Lying awake in the middle of the night, unable to sleep, with her impressive intellect deciding two in the morning was the perfect time to frighten the ever loving hell out of her with nightmare scenarios.
She stared at the ceiling, Naruto’s sleeping back rising and falling next to her, his warm skin close enough she could feel the heat coming off him over the bare skin of her thigh and arm. He shifted, making the mattress groan under his weight slightly and she reminded herself to bring up the idea of one of those memory foam mattresses at breakfast.
He smacked his lips in his sleep and rolled so he was facing her. His features relaxed as he slept soundly on. A little trail of drool coming from the corner of his mouth.
She smiled lightly, reflexively more than anything else. To think the most powerful man on the planet could look so cute when he was sleeping. It was delightfully adorable.
Her hands went to her stomach, cupping around a metaphorical bump that hadn’t started to show yet. She was only a couple months pregnant after all. She hadn’t started showing with Sachi until well into her second trimester. This new little one was probably going to be a sneaky little submarine too.
Kami, what were they going to do with two children? Sachi had been a surprise, and a happy one at that, but they’d only just got a system into place for how they could still have their lives and be involved parents. Adding a second Uzumaki child to their happy little family was asking for trouble.
And with two little whirlwinds to worry about, the old fears of what could happen to Sachi were now doubled. Yes they were older now, more responsible and mature with experience but still. A new child would mean different challenges and while she was sure Naruto would be more than up to the task … would she?
What if she couldn’t handle more than one child? What if she wasn’t equipped to be a mom to children who might require different things from her in the way of care?
Part of her was still unsure she was doing things right by Sachi. Their little girl was their world and the idea of letting her down as parents made both Sakura and Naruto white with fear.
It’d be even worse if the ruse she’d been pulling fell apart now. Two children would suffer. And she’d let Naruto down, his endless hope and belief in her would crumble and she wouldn’t know how to handle that.
‘Sakura-chan,’ Naruto said sleepily, his hand reaching out to cup hers, which were gripping at her tummy. He managed to ease her grip and took both of her hands in his one big one. ‘What’s wrong?’
She turned to look at him, his dazzling blue eyes alert and watching her, tinged with concern. He pulled her into a cuddle when she didn’t immediately reply and his body heat enveloped her as they meshed.
‘You’re worried about the new baby right?’ he whispered into her ear as she relaxed against him. ‘Like with Sachi?’
She nodded into his neck as she buried her face there. Stinging tears bristling her cheeks.
‘You’re a wonderful mom,’ Naruto whispered as he wrapped her up tightly. ‘You’ll keep being wonderful with any other babies we have.’
‘What if I’m not?’ Sakura’s voice came out not much louder than a murmur, a tremble of true fear shaking the words. ‘What if I’m just really good at pretending and two babies is too much for the illusion?’
‘Then it’s a good thing you’re not alone,’ Naruto said, placing a slow, soft kiss against her cheek. His fingers rubbing a slow circle around her lower back. ‘And even if you were, you’d be amazing. Because you just are.’
‘You’re just saying that because you’re biased,’ Sakura said, kissing his neck gently, the tension in her shoulders easing the more she breathed him in. ‘One of those stupid things you say sometimes because you love me.’
‘Like when you said to me that you weren’t going to wait around for me forever?’ Naruto teased, scratching at her rib. Hard enough to tickle but gentle enough to not cause a reaction. ‘What a crock that was.’
‘Shhh,’ Sakura hissed shakily, a smile trickling across her lips. ‘I was a dramatic teenager who thought I had to play hard to get.’
Naruto kissed her cheek again, slowly and with poignancy. ‘Point still stands babe, you’re talking out your sexy ass and you know it. You’re a great mom and you’ll keep being a great mom because you just are.’
Sakura wrapped her arms around him and sighed deeply into his neck. ‘I’m still scared.’
‘I know,’ Naruto said, cuddling her tight. ‘I’m scared too. Not like I have a lot of examples of fatherhood to draw from, but we got each other’s back. And Sachi’s turning out beautifully so far. We’ll be okay.’
Sakura felt the last of her tension and fear drain from her, as if Naruto’s massaging fingers up and down her back were drawing it out of her, she leant against him more fully, letting her head lay on his shoulder as he rolled onto his back, a strong arm still wrapped around her waist.
Her leg hooked his instinctively and she sighed into his shoulder. ‘Sorry for waking you.’
‘Shh,’ Naruto said, placing a kiss on her forehead, which still to this day, made her smile bashfully when he did it. ‘You weren’t sleeping anyway. Now rest your eyes babe, Sachi’s gonna have us up in three hours anyway. We’ll need the rest.’
Sakura laughed lightly and nestled in against her husband’s side.
She had Naruto, everything else didn’t stand a chance against her with him cheering her on.
He was already snoring as her eyelids drooped into blackness.
