thought about intergenerational trauma mostly about the Holocaust and thought about my grandpa and the wounds that he was never granted access to heal purely out of ignorance…and trauma
thought about how proud i was picking up the decapitated bird left to us as a gift this morning by my girlfriends cat, i love caring for her and taking away even the slightest of her discomforts. man, i love her, man i want to pin her down and fuck her, and yell at her.
sat in the kitchen drinking chamomile tea reading out our weekly astrological insights, i thought about how i would love for that to become a sunday night ritual for us, maybe it would move us both forward somehow?
thought about how i’ve never felt truly connected to my immediate family, how we rarely laugh together, how we never played together really when i was growing up. guess there was always something more important going on, like money problems and dads weed addiction and sadness and mum keeping the house neat and us fed.
got home and thought about how much the garden smelled like mulch and then i thought about the decapitated bird and the cycles of growth and life and death
